Jump to content

I Called In Sick Today


Recommended Posts

  • Replies 268k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

  • Ron_Mexico

    19413

  • speedz99

    16304

  • Napa Lite

    7767

  • ShakeZuma

    7517

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Posts

and after 3 days, he is risen!

If you are paying $20 for a haircut, I imagine people assume you did it yourself anyway.

Pocket change cost me my first and only black girlfriend.   It was in the middle of a roaring poker boom and I was flush in ways most men don't even bother dreaming of. Money, it was like dirt to me

Posted Images

all right, this is ridiculous. scram, will you please read the article and make the statement that nobody else seems willing to?

Link to post
Share on other sites
Pretty sure, unless he was in the middle of an Olympic diving pool, you don't have to know how to swim to get in and out of any pool as an adult.Everyone there should be arrested for cowardice.
well.. but..On June 29, 1983, Chiefs star running back Joe Delaney heard the screams of three young boys sinking fast in a Monroe, La., pond. Delaney couldn't swim, but he dove in anyway. He was able to save one of the boys, but not himself. Delaney died that day with the other two boys.So, I'm not saying they aren't idiots, but if you can't swim, jumping in after a sinking person is not always the best choice -- sometimes it makes sense to yell loud enough that the pro football player in the kitchen can hear you and come save your kid, which appears to be what happened in this story. Unless I misread something?
Link to post
Share on other sites
I hate Rick Reilly most of the time."On the afternoon of June 11, 6-year-old Bryson Moore wandered too far into the deep end of a pool at his cousin's birthday party in Americus, Ga. Soon he was sinking, face down. Anne began to scream, "Get him! Get him! He's drowning!" But she didn't know how to swim. Neither did anybody else standing around the pool. All they could do was watch Bryson go under. "Un-fucking-believable. This woman let her 6 year old, who can't swim, play around in a swimming pool without some kind of floating device, without anyone around to act as a lifeguard. Part of the article should be about how fucking black she is.
edited
all right, this is ridiculous. scram, will you please read the article and make the statement that nobody else seems willing to?
you're welcome
well.. but..On June 29, 1983, Chiefs star running back Joe Delaney heard the screams of three young boys sinking fast in a Monroe, La., pond. Delaney couldn't swim, but he dove in anyway. He was able to save one of the boys, but not himself. Delaney died that day with the other two boys.So, I'm not saying they aren't idiots, but if you can't swim, jumping in after a sinking person is not always the best choice -- sometimes it makes sense to yell loud enough that the pro football player in the kitchen can hear you and come save your kid, which appears to be what happened in this story. Unless I misread something?
I don't think they were referring to the cement pond there ellie may.Wangbearpig:42356d76_vbattach393485.jpg
Link to post
Share on other sites

haha, now I'm imagining two equally hilarious scenarios happening... one where each person standing around the pool starts jumping in, one after the other, and immediately starts flailing about screaming that they can't swim, until like 20 people are all in the pool just flapping around and yelling "help!" the second one is where the kid's in there dying and everybody just stands around looking at him, shrugging their shoulders all "seinfeldesque" going "huh, well I can't swim. can you swim?"

Link to post
Share on other sites
We have decided to go domestic. Seems a Korean baby is nearly impossible due to the fact that once you are placed with a child it will take 4 month to get a visa approved and then some other time before they place the baby in your hands which is now no longer a baby but a toddler. If I am going to do this I want to be there for stuff like first steps and stuff and with Korean adoption it is not going to happen. The major plus though is that Korean children are the arguably the best health wise and a major reduction in cost if you take siblings.
Wow, I was looking up old apartment posts and stumbled onto this 3 year 2 month old post. I can't believe we have been going through this process so long. And how we have changed our minds as well since we went Korean. But everything there is mostly true.We do have a son now. His name is Jin. He is goddamn adorable. He was born Oct 2010 but we can't go get him till Jan. though. Korean government stopped doing visa's for the year so we have to wait. He will be what, 14 months old. Still good. Doesn't matter anymore. First steps and all, whatever, this process has been long and grueling and to know that we are in the final stretch and I can sit here at my desk looking at his picture makes the wait worth it. Sadly I am not allowed to post a picture of him online which sucks because if I could you would have seen them back on June 27th when we got the pics. All 12 of them. Now we get to make a video to send him so he can get used to our voices and such. Well now I am rambling. I just thought it interesting when I found that old post.
Link to post
Share on other sites
Wow, I was looking up old apartment posts and stumbled onto this 3 year 2 month old post. I can't believe we have been going through this process so long. And how we have changed our minds as well since we went Korean. But everything there is mostly true.We do have a son now. His name is Jin. He is goddamn adorable. He was born Oct 2010 but we can't go get him till Jan. though. Korean government stopped doing visa's for the year so we have to wait. He will be what, 14 months old. Still good. Doesn't matter anymore. First steps and all, whatever, this process has been long and grueling and to know that we are in the final stretch and I can sit here at my desk looking at his picture makes the wait worth it. Sadly I am not allowed to post a picture of him online which sucks because if I could you would have seen them back on June 27th when we got the pics. All 12 of them. Now we get to make a video to send him so he can get used to our voices and such. Well now I am rambling. I just thought it interesting when I found that old post.
Good to hear. Glad you're getting something positive out of that whole adoption experience. Get him the fuck out of Michigan ASAP though.
Link to post
Share on other sites
I just read it again and don't care if water scares them. It's pure cowardice. Any adult can jump in the center of a 9 ft deep pool and bounce their way up and down and be out of the pool in 20 seconds. Jump in, shove the kid towards the shallow end, then jump out.
You realize that's not how it works for people who can't swim, right? Someone who can't swim at all will most likely die if they attempt to save someone who's sinking in the middle of a 9 food deep end. It's not like they didn't jump in because they're just not very good swimmers.I'm not saying they aren't jackasses, just that someone who can't swim can't save someone who's drowning. That seems pretty simple.
all right, this is ridiculous. scram, will you please read the article and make the statement that nobody else seems willing to?
From the article:"According to a study conducted by the USA Swimming Foundation in 2009, nearly 70 percent of African-American kids and nearly 60 percent of Hispanic-American kids have "low or no ability" to swim, as opposed to 42 percent of white children. It doesn't get much better among African-American adults, either. "We don't need scram to state the obvious, especially when it's already bee stated.
We do have a son now. His name is Jin.
Congrats. His name certainly brings up many amusing AD-esque scenarios that I can only assume will occur at some point in his life.
Link to post
Share on other sites
You realize that's not how it works for people who can't swim, right? Someone who can't swim at all will most likely die if they attempt to save someone who's sinking in the middle of a 9 food deep end. It's not like they didn't jump in because they're just not very good swimmers.I'm not saying they aren't jackasses, just that someone who can't swim can't save someone who's drowning. That seems pretty simple.From the article:"According to a study conducted by the USA Swimming Foundation in 2009, nearly 70 percent of African-American kids and nearly 60 percent of Hispanic-American kids have "low or no ability" to swim, as opposed to 42 percent of white children. It doesn't get much better among African-American adults, either. "We don't need scram to state the obvious, especially when it's already bee stated.Congrats. His name certainly brings up many amusing AD-esque scenarios that I can only assume will occur at some point in his life.
There was some movie where Philip Seymour Hoffman didn't know how to swim, and somehow he parlayed it into a relationship with a broad (I didn't finish more than 20 minutes of the film, I don't know what actually happened. It seemed pretty terrible from the intro). Irregardless, it brought to mind what its like for people who don't know how to swim. I'm a pretty terrible swimmer, and took a small handful of classes when I was younger. In the past couple years I've spent very little time in water while being very conscious of my ugly ability to keep myself afloat. I've always felt that it feels like a primal instinct that keeps you from drowning if you don't know what you're doing...treading water isn't much more than just thrashing around and breathing in air when your mouth is above water. I think I basically understand the concept of panic taking over and inhibiting a person from saving themselves from the depths of a deep, 9 foot pool...but it still doesn't seem like something that could happen to an adult. As long as you don't swallow water from the outset (and even un-swimmable people should know that swallowing water in place of air results in negativity) you're going to have a chance or two push yourself to momentary-life-giving-oxygen. Drowning in the ocean with undertows and waves and shit seems reasonable. Not being able to coordinate a decent effort to save somebody drowning in front of you is just one of those things that is hard to fathom.
Link to post
Share on other sites
African-American adults.....We don't need scram to state the obvious, especially when it's already bee stated.
Comedic genius or Fraudian slip... Either way it was quite amusing to a sunburnt guy who's pounding the bloody marys at some sort of surfer barI think I just saw Bodie a few minutes ago and said,"DUDE!... IM AN F...B...I... AGENT!"He actually enjoyed it
Link to post
Share on other sites

Steve, couldn't you just have picked one of those up at work? just kidding, Congrats on the Lost Baby!Ya, didn't make that joke earlier because I thought there is no way they were at a party, at someone's house, that had a pool.

Link to post
Share on other sites
From the article:"According to a study conducted by the USA Swimming Foundation in 2009, nearly 70 percent of African-American kids and nearly 60 percent of Hispanic-American kids have "low or no ability" to swim, as opposed to 42 percent of white children. It doesn't get much better among African-American adults, either. "We don't need scram to state the obvious, especially when it's already bee stated.
Gerald: Oh, it's not going to be easy. My brother and I know. Men have never done synchronized swimming in a sanctioned competition in this country. Officially, it's got like a zero acceptance rate.Lawrence: I don't swim.Gerald: Lawrence doesn't swim. So, I mean, no, of course not. No one's going to just walk up and hand us a gold medal. Men's synchro isn't even in the '88 Olympics yet.Lawrence: That's OK, because we could use the time. 'Cause I'm not ... I'm not that strong a swimmer.Gerald: But I mean, that just means, you know, for '92, we're a lock for the gold.
Link to post
Share on other sites
Gerald: Oh, it's not going to be easy. My brother and I know. Men have never done synchronized swimming in a sanctioned competition in this country. Officially, it's got like a zero acceptance rate.Lawrence: I don't swim.Gerald: Lawrence doesn't swim. So, I mean, no, of course not. No one's going to just walk up and hand us a gold medal. Men's synchro isn't even in the '88 Olympics yet.Lawrence: That's OK, because we could use the time. 'Cause I'm not ... I'm not that strong a swimmer.Gerald: But I mean, that just means, you know, for '92, we're a lock for the gold.
looooooooool. the look during the bolded; i'm cracking up just thinking of it.
Link to post
Share on other sites

Seriously- is the whole 'blacks can't swim' a new concept to you people? I mean, google "non-swimmers".http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=non-swimmersIt's a ridiculously standard stereotype that, like all other stereotypes about them, is rooted in absolute truth.Once upon a time, I had a friend who used to be a training instructor in the Navy. His favorite part was 'remedial swimming', when all the blacks who signed up but couldn't swim were forced into the pool. They'd all be screaming and crying and lawdy-lawdy'ing, while the white dudes swam around laughing at them.

Link to post
Share on other sites

D-BearWang!After your first post I was in the Zume camp thinking perhaps you'd gone from the sauce to crack in homage to the PGOAT alias Madame Psychosis aka Joelle VD. And unfortunately, my second thought was, 'Gangs of New York? That piece of shit will make you feel better about yourself. If Scorsese The Genius can fuck something up that badly, hey, my fuck ups might mean I'm a genius too.'Your second post - brother speedz was on point. I'm also down to party like it's 2007 for a few days if you need some mindless but perhaps therapeutic banter. You're the right man to speak at the memorial; you'll do great.And regarding your old posts and combining them into something coherent - I've probably re-visited your posts more than anyone's and feel like a scholar of your forum work, perhaps second only to the amazing JJJ, lexicon of forum interactions. I'd be happy to rehash some of your greatest hits.Also-Post in the music forum you sob; it misses you.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Good to hear. Glad you're getting something positive out of that whole adoption experience. Get him the fuck out of Michigan ASAP though.
Congrats. His name certainly brings up many amusing AD-esque scenarios that I can only assume will occur at some point in his life.
Thanks. This reminds me, what happened to the AD movie?
Boy, can you imagine the rant we're going to get if January comes and goes without a Jin-joining party?
Heh. Well I assure you that you will hear about it if it happens.
Steve, couldn't you just have picked one of those up at work? just kidding, Congrats on the Lost Baby!
He would be the wrong color. Thanks
Link to post
Share on other sites
Wow, I was looking up old apartment posts and stumbled onto this 3 year 2 month old post. I can't believe we have been going through this process so long. And how we have changed our minds as well since we went Korean. But everything there is mostly true.We do have a son now. His name is Jin. He is goddamn adorable. He was born Oct 2010 but we can't go get him till Jan. though. Korean government stopped doing visa's for the year so we have to wait. He will be what, 14 months old. Still good. Doesn't matter anymore. First steps and all, whatever, this process has been long and grueling and to know that we are in the final stretch and I can sit here at my desk looking at his picture makes the wait worth it. Sadly I am not allowed to post a picture of him online which sucks because if I could you would have seen them back on June 27th when we got the pics. All 12 of them. Now we get to make a video to send him so he can get used to our voices and such. Well now I am rambling. I just thought it interesting when I found that old post.
You should name him after a couple of us!! WANG YANG!!Congrats DAD!
Link to post
Share on other sites
yeah if you're child is drowning in the middle of a backyard pool, you learn to swim. right then. she was probably just afraid of getting her hair wet.
the pool probably wasn't heated.
Clearly the kid was a douche
This was hilarious. I can see them all standing around kicking the dirt with their shoes, avoiding eye contact, whistling, while someone is saying, "can you swim?" You go! NOOO YOU GO! NOOOOO!!! YOUUUUU GOOOOO
Good to hear. Glad you're getting something positive out of that whole adoption experience. Get him the fuck out of Michigan ASAP though.
Geez, good point. At least go somewhere nice if you stay like Traverse City or Charlevoix.
"Hello Joyce! Welcome to our Joyous Jannual Jin-Joining Jamboree! Desiccated meatstick?"
Hey, no worries, Stevo can cook. "Jin, no like meatstick? Joo choose what you likey.oly7.jpg
Link to post
Share on other sites

well this place sure is hoppin'need some conversation. uhh... hmm. I still get paid as much as napadon's secretary, so there's that! that's all I've got.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

Announcements


×
×
  • Create New...