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I Called In Sick Today


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from the inside.
Heh.
If you're not in the US, disregard because it's a controlled substance pretty much everywhere on earth, but for those in the US who have sleep issues...Melatonin *really is* the answer for a lot of us.
I just use Simply Sleep (Wang's suggestion), which is basically Tylenol PM without the acetaminophen. Melatonin gives me ridiculously intense dreams, which end up making me feel less rested. Though they do knock me out really well initially.
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and after 3 days, he is risen!

If you are paying $20 for a haircut, I imagine people assume you did it yourself anyway.

Pocket change cost me my first and only black girlfriend.   It was in the middle of a roaring poker boom and I was flush in ways most men don't even bother dreaming of. Money, it was like dirt to me

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I forgot my MightyLouse password ("Your account has been locked due to excessive password guessing and shiiit and will be unlocked blah blah in 12 minutes!") but I successfully guessed this one before the evil board admin got me.He wanted me to tell everyone he is ok on the off chance anyone was worried. (That seems like a lie. He knew people were worried.) He asked me mention some guys who contacted him but when it became obvious I was acting as his secretary hejust said to say "**** that they know who they are." He is alive and healthy and when I last spoke with him he mentioned how much he misses the whole lot of you. I am supposed to list the people he does not miss. "Be sure to use a colon when you begin the list, kiddo.""Okay, but I'm going to quote you saying that.""Whatever. Use the colon."LIST OF PEOPLE HE DOES NOT MISS:TimWakefieldHomer SimpsonThat is all.Sincerely,The brother of your brother

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I forgot my MightyLouse password ("Your account has been locked due to excessive password guessing and shiiit and will be unlocked blah blah in 12 minutes!") but I successfully guessed this one before the evil board admin got me.He wanted me to tell everyone he is ok on the off chance anyone was worried. (That seems like a lie. He knew people were worried.) He asked me mention some guys who contacted him but when it became obvious I was acting as his secretary hejust said to say "**** that they know who they are." He is alive and healthy and when I last spoke with him he mentioned how much he misses the whole lot of you. I am supposed to list the people he does not miss. "Be sure to use a colon when you begin the list, kiddo.""Okay, but I'm going to quote you saying that.""Whatever. Use the colon."LIST OF PEOPLE HE DOES NOT MISS:TimWakefieldHomer SimpsonThat is all.Sincerely,The brother of your brother
**** this bullshit. Wang needs to come back asap.
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I always love the beans posts where you can actually tell that he's drunk off his ass. they always get shorter and are filled with more typos. they provide for the full, well rounded character.
Man, you have NO idea...noneIt all started around nine that morning...I think....when I got aggravated at the new Jeep acquisition. Couldnt get the timing set right...turned out to be the harmonic balancer rotated on its rubber bushing. Fixed that. Next I noted that cylinder numeral oucho was fouling its plug. Turned out to be a bad intake valve seal letting oil drain down into it....It was around this point that the beer cam into playShortly after noon while wrestling a valve spring compressor in one hand and two tiny keepers in the other.... Mr. Crown T. Royal enters stage left...Right before the weekly poker game commenced, I went back to the parts store for the fourth time of the day"Beans... why dont you just move in here?""Gimme two valve cover gaskets and shuddup""How come youve got one eye closed?""Cause its the only way I can focus.....dammit""Wow.... bad day, huh?""Abst-olutely"(fifteen minutes of bullshitting)"See ya in a few minutes""I aint comin back""Yeah ya will""I doubt it.... "(looks around in parking lot)"I dont remember which car I drove here.... you see one of mine out there?""...."True story
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As much sense as YOUR FACE.[/snappy comeback]
man I walked right into that one
True story
this is why we keep him around folks
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This is where my knowledge of Croatia ends.
isn't it also where all those rich people go to murder people for fun?
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I'm going to Croatia tomorrow for 12 days, see y'all on the flipside.
Dont forget your fishing rod....
this is why we keep him around folks
And I didnt even spill the rest of the story...Reason being that I dont really remember itI do know that it involved playing poker and taking a job tearing down a convenience store...In other news...For those of you following me on twitter, please let me take this time to apologize for the upcoming landslide of idiotic pics that will soon be heading your wayFor the love of God, please dont do what I did and send them directly to your phone. I couldnt broadcast the ridiculous content with a clean conscious knowing that I could possibly disturb someone out of their sleep or something...I plan on documenting my trip home stagger by stagger for those of you out there mentally deficient enough to try and duplicate it yourselves. Be warned, it will contain graphic images of the city of Las Vegas that will both shock and appall the normal human beingFrom the ritzy to the gutters, all will be exposed for once and all... covering the drive out there and the flight backYeah...Sorta like being on the set of COPS
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He is alive and healthy and when I last spoke with him he mentioned how much he misses the whole lot of you.
Nothing about this isn't odd to me. Unless he purposefully permanently blocked FCP from his computer and is never around other computers that would enable him to pop in and say what you just said. I just want to know how Jess is doing...
I'm going to Croatia tomorrow for 12 days, see y'all on the flipside.
With Tony? GREAT IDEA.
This is where my knowledge of Croatia ends.
Using the word "ends" implies that it begins, which I think is pretty...generous.
There's such a thing as bear spray?
Maybe you've heard it called bear mace?Dude, bears be attackin' lately. Must be the weather.
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Dude, bears be attackin' lately. Must be the weather.
when I was in the ocean the other day, there were a few sharks around but they saw me and got all scared like "that dude's gonna whoop our asses man get outta here!" so it was all good.bears on the other hand, aren't afraid of an ass whoopin'. I will rape those bitches though.
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