qyayqi 11 Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 But, but he won!oh. right. i didn't go double-check my facts. but my theory is still intact. that'd be victory: me. Link to post Share on other sites
SuitedAces21 2,722 Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 Don't cops pull people over all the time based on their estimate, not radar? Do they actually need a radar reading for it to hold up?i'm not sure about that. i assume that if challenged in court they need to produce radar, becuase "he looked to be doing 95" isnt going to cut it. in my dad's case, it was obvious that the cop could not plausibly testify to his actual speed. we didnt cover this in criminal procedure, so i don't know what the cop is required to show you. my guess would be that they don't have to show you the radar if you ask, but it's just a guess. but if you challenge the ticket, they will need some proof, as the burden is on them. Link to post Share on other sites
SBriand 4 Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 i'm not sure about that. i assume that if challenged in court they need to produce radar, becuase "he looked to be doing 95" isnt going to cut it. in my dad's case, it was obvious that the cop could not plausibly testify to his actual speed. we didnt cover this in criminal procedure, so i don't know what the cop is required to show you. my guess would be that they don't have to show you the radar if you ask, but it's just a guess. but if you challenge the ticket, they will need some proof, as the burden is on them.My limited understanding of this issue is that obviously the cop can't bring the radar in to show he was going 95 but the court takes the word of the cop unless he has had credibility issues. Usually the cops keep a detailed log and such and the court will use that. So you just can't walk in and say, hey prove it, I wasn't speeding. You can argue about the calibration of the radar and if it is being properly maintained. Much like above when I stated that if a cop pulled you over and did it by following you to determine speed, you can argue about the speedo being correct. Most police if not all have their speedo's calibrated because of this. And I can say with 100% certainty that a cop is not required to show you the gun. Link to post Share on other sites
SuitedAces21 2,722 Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 i'll take your word for it, as i really dont know. i just know that the next time i get pulled over for speeding i'm going to politely ask to see the gun and measure the response. i really hope i dont get cavity searched. Link to post Share on other sites
DrawingDeadInDM 0 Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 Basically, the way I was told when I decided to be a hero one day and challenge a speeding ticket..The cop is an expert witness. If he says that his radar clocked you going at X miles an hour and his radar system is up to code, certified and recieves the proper maintenance(documented), then you will be found guilty. They don't have to show you the radar and I've never heard of a cop taking it well when asked. I do know a guy who asked to see the radar and then was issued tickets for his cracked windshield, his license plate lamp being out and for 'faulty equipment' because his horn didn't work. Yes, the cop asked him to demonstrate that his horn and all signals and lights worked. That guy's car also was awesome.Edit: What Steve said. Link to post Share on other sites
SuitedAces21 2,722 Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 that all makes sense. i would probably try an argument that the cop didnt qualify as an "expert" witness according to the FRE, but i'm sure it would fail. still fun to argue things that have no chance of winning. maybe call a surprise character witness - the cop's ex-wife. turn it into a real shit show. get held in contempt maybe. Link to post Share on other sites
LadyGrey 6 Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 So let's say I looked at Tony's phone and saw he has been texting in a platonic, friendly way with his ex-gf quite a lot in the last week. I don't suspect him of cheating with her or wanting to, but I feel that he is being shady about it so I ask him some questions (which I know the answers to because I saw their messages).He looks me in the eyes and tells me 3 lies ("I never initiate the texts, I just reply to her when she texts me", "We didn't have any contact in the last week or two", "She doesn't know what I'm doing now, anything about my writing etc"). He tells me I just have to trust him and promises that he will always be honest and open about whatever contact they have (obviously bullshit considering the context of what I know). Soon after this conversation he deletes all their message history (which he has always done regularly but only ever with her text messages, no one elses).I don't care that he is friends with his ex, but I do care that he is lying to me about it and his deletion of their message conversations makes me feel as though he is hiding something. What do y'all think? Why might he be lying to me? Why would he delete her messages? Should I be thinking about breaking up with him since I know he lied to my face? Is it normal to be so chummy with an ex-gf? Should I be concerned?p.s. I know I shouldn't have looked at his phone and I am honestly not going to do that again. It was wrong of me. Link to post Share on other sites
El Guapo 8 Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 1. You should not have looked, but sounds like you had reason to.2. You have said you don't love this guy, he probably knows it, looking for that type of intimacy elsewhere. Ex-gf is probably the easiest place3. I think most guys lie here. They are white lies, he is not hiding the contact from you, just some of the details.4. Your whole relationship seems to be mired with bits and piece of dis-trust and dis-honestySo I think if you want to keep banging him let it go, if you really see this as going nowhere like you have previously stated this is a good opportunity to get out and find someone taller. Link to post Share on other sites
brvheart 1,753 Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 Life lesson #1: If you ever meet LG, hide all personal effects because she WILL go through them when you're in the bathroom. This is the 2nd time in like a month that LG posted about going through someone elses phone/camera without their permission. Link to post Share on other sites
LadyGrey 6 Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 2. You have said you don't love this guy, he probably knows it, looking for that type of intimacy elsewhere. Ex-gf is probably the easiest place4. Your whole relationship seems to be mired with bits and piece of dis-trust and dis-honestySo I think if you want to keep banging him let it go, if you really see this as going nowhere like you have previously stated this is a good opportunity to get out and find someone taller.I don't love him because we've only been dating a couple of months. The relationship is very young and we're still getting to know each other in some ways. I like him a lot. Not sure what you mean by "that type of intimacy" but he isn't getting anything physical from his ex, and emotionally he talks to me about everything as far as I know, whereas their text conversations are quite superficial.I wouldn't say our relationship is mired with distrust and dishonesty whatsoever - we've been remarkably open and honest as far as I'm aware. This is the first and only instance where I've known he is lying to me. The sex is really good and getting better and more interesting (cue PM from JJJ) so I am loathe to stop now. He is taller than me so height isn't an issue, but I do question whether there is a speedz-type-perfect-romance out there waiting for me or whether my complex personality means I will always find issues with any boyfriend. Link to post Share on other sites
Skeleton Jelly 2 Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 Hey. Link to post Share on other sites
SuitedAces21 2,722 Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 i would offer some advice, but the only girlfriend i've ever had cheated on me. so my views my be a littled skewed on trust issues. women! Link to post Share on other sites
LadyGrey 6 Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 i would offer some advice, but the only girlfriend i've ever had cheated on me. so my views my be a littled skewed on trust issues. women!Tony's ex cheated on him with his own flatmate/friend - doesn't stop him being mates with her though. Humph. Link to post Share on other sites
Skeleton Jelly 2 Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 He's unsure about your relationship, so he wants to keep her around as a fallback position just in case.That'd be my guess anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
CaneBrain 95 Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 Tony's ex cheated on him with his own flatmate/friend - doesn't stop him being mates with her though. Humph.He still has feelings for her then, imo. Just because of pride, a guy should not stay friends with an ex who cuckolded him. Link to post Share on other sites
iZuma 764 Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 this is a good opportunity to get out and find someone taller.HEY FUCK YOU BUDDY Link to post Share on other sites
LadyGrey 6 Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 He's unsure about your relationship, so he wants to keep her around as a fallback position just in case.That'd be my guess anyway. He still has feelings for her then, imo. Just because of pride, a guy should not stay friends with an ex who cuckolded him.I don't think so though.She cheated on him with this flatmate guy, and afterwards the two cheaters stayed as a couple for well over a year and only broke up about 2 weeks ago when he found out she was cheating on him with an actor guy. Presumably she is now seeing the actor guy. Tony says he has no interest in her romantically/sexually because she is a cheater and she is crazy and she has a terminal illness (MS) etc. I believe him. She is not a "fallback" for him. If that were the case he had plenty of opportunity to rekindle things before he met me. He might still have feelings for her in a way, but I don't think he would ever want to get back with her. I think a big part of this all might be that the novel he is writing is based around the love triangle between Tony, the ex and the flatmate, so the female character in the book is ostensibly based on her. That bothers me no end, and I think now that he is working on his novel full time he is getting drawn into the idea of her and perhaps that is why their contact has increased. Link to post Share on other sites
DrawingDeadInDM 0 Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 He's probably lying to you about it because it's easier to lie to you about it(especially since it really is platonic) then it is to try and explain to you his reasons for still talking to her. If I had an ex that I cared for in any regard before we broke up and she had a terminal illness, I could see myself keeping up with her out of some kind of belief that I'd feel badly when she died and I hadn't talked to her or forgiven her for her indiscretion(s). I don't know if that makes sense or not.Probably more of a pity thing than a fallback plan. IMO, anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
brvheart 1,753 Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 Tony says he has no interest in her romantically/sexually because she [...] has a terminal illness (MS).... Link to post Share on other sites
brvheart 1,753 Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 He's probably lying to you about it because it's easier to lie to you about it(especially since it really is platonic) then it is to try and explain to you his reasons for still talking to her. If I had an ex that I cared for in any regard before we broke up and she had a terminal illness, I could see myself keeping up with her out of some kind of belief that I'd feel badly when she died and I hadn't talked to her or forgiven her for her indiscretion(s). I don't know if that makes sense or not.Probably more of a pity thing than a fallback plan. IMO, anyway.I agree with Drawing Dead in Des Moines. He's probably just being nice and doesn't like how you blow everything out of proportion. Link to post Share on other sites
SuitedAces21 2,722 Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 let us not forget that he lied. why lie is you've nothing to hide? LG is above all reasonable. if TONEH were to explain that he feels its necessary to remain friends with her becuase of her illness, i think she would respond kindly, as long as he was up front and honest. but he wasnt. therefore, we can call his intentions into question.personally, i dont see a reason to text an ex if you're fully invested in your current relationship. he should know how you are going to react to that. no one would encounter this situation and not be suspicious. Link to post Share on other sites
LadyGrey 6 Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 He's probably lying to you about it because it's easier to lie to you about it(especially since it really is platonic) then it is to try and explain to you his reasons for still talking to her. If I had an ex that I cared for in any regard before we broke up and she had a terminal illness, I could see myself keeping up with her out of some kind of belief that I'd feel badly when she died and I hadn't talked to her or forgiven her for her indiscretion(s). I don't know if that makes sense or not.Probably more of a pity thing than a fallback plan. IMO, anyway.To be fair she ain't dying anytime soon, it's just a degenerative ilness so it won't kick in badly probably for a few decades. I always chide Tony for calling it a terminal illness because that sounds so dramatic. It will be debilitating in time but for now I don't think she really suffers any symptoms, it's more the knowledge of what's to come that is tough to deal with I guess. My aunt that I live with has MS too so I see it firsthand and she is nowhere near the stage my aunt is. I don't want anyone feeling sorry for her. She is a horrible cheating slut and she knows it. Tony's current flatmate describes her as "dirt". Link to post Share on other sites
Sickinfo2 291 Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 Take this for what its worth....A cop has no jurisdiction enforcing traffic laws on private property. If the cop told you that you had to wear a seatbelt before starting the engine in a parking lot then he was absolutely wrong. I know this because as some of you may remember, a few years back I witnessed a car doing a hit and run in a parking lot on my wifes vehicle. I ran to it and started a high speed pursuit while calling nine one one. The lady on the phone told me to break it off since the cops wouldnt investigate an accident in a private parking lotThis is the reason that I refuse to obey stop signs or any other signs on private property....Also, a cop does not have to show you the radar gun readout. Its his word against yours. And take this piece of advice.... Even though you have a system installed in your car that jams LIDAR and can force an error on the cops unit as you blow by at twice the legal limit, he can still write you up for reckless driving. I know this for an absolute factThe best "out" for a speeding ticket these days is this... all cities are supposed to have already completed traffic surveys in their areas to comply with some federal requirement. To do this they have to spend lots of money on subcontractors who monitor the average speed along a stretch of highway and adjust the speed limit to that averageThe vast majority of municipalities have not done this due to cost, so the first thing you need to investigate when you get a ticket is to find out if the survey has been conducted where the incident happened. If it has not been done then the case will be dismissedThere is much more but you guys will just have to wait for the book, "A DRUNKEN LEAD FOOTS GUIDE TO STAYING OUT OF JAIL" Link to post Share on other sites
Roll the Bones 74 Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 Weak. Go to U of Miami for estate planning LLM. Fun in the sun, yo. And it is a good program.Randy, it is really weird that a DUI case ended up in front of a jury.When I have a chance I'll tell the story.My friend (crazy Aaron) hates the government and basically does his best to live off the grid. (has had several cash-only jobs, hasn't filed a tax return in more than 10 years, etc)The other month he got a seat belt ticket and asked for a jury trial. The judge was so surprised he actually had to check to see if that was possible. They ended up letting him do it. Before the trial he was on the front steps handing a pamphlet out to everyone that went in the courthouse about how juries are allowed to make any decision they want, even if it goes against the law, if they deem the law to be stupid. I guess he asked around and they said he couldn't give it directly to his jury pool, but if he handed it to everyone, then they couldn't stop him.Anyway, he lost in about 10 minutes.Also, to make everything better, on the way home from the trial he was pulled over for a seat belt violation from the same cop that was a witness at his trial. He was in a different car, and the cop immediately let him off with a warning.He probably knows my friend Satch who lived off the grid for 30 years. Well, Steve might know him he's a leasing agent for an apartment complex now, first real job in 30+ years.So let's say I looked at Tony's phone and saw he has been texting in a platonic, friendly way with his ex-gf quite a lot in the last week. I don't suspect him of cheating with her or wanting to, but I feel that he is being shady about it so I ask him some questions (which I know the answers to because I saw their messages).He looks me in the eyes and tells me 3 lies ("I never initiate the texts, I just reply to her when she texts me", "We didn't have any contact in the last week or two", "She doesn't know what I'm doing now, anything about my writing etc"). He tells me I just have to trust him and promises that he will always be honest and open about whatever contact they have (obviously bullshit considering the context of what I know). Soon after this conversation he deletes all their message history (which he has always done regularly but only ever with her text messages, no one elses).I don't care that he is friends with his ex, but I do care that he is lying to me about it and his deletion of their message conversations makes me feel as though he is hiding something. What do y'all think? Why might he be lying to me? Why would he delete her messages? Should I be thinking about breaking up with him since I know he lied to my face? Is it normal to be so chummy with an ex-gf? Should I be concerned?p.s. I know I shouldn't have looked at his phone and I am honestly not going to do that again. It was wrong of me.I think he really, really likes you or he wouldn't have lied. If you weren't important to him he wouldn't have cared. I mean, where is going to find someone that supports his writing, gets it and makes him cupcakes? C'mon!I don't think so though.She cheated on him with this flatmate guy, and afterwards the two cheaters stayed as a couple for well over a year and only broke up about 2 weeks ago when he found out she was cheating on him with an actor guy. Presumably she is now seeing the actor guy. Tony says he has no interest in her romantically/sexually because she is a cheater and she is crazy and she has a terminal illness (MS) etc. I believe him. She is not a "fallback" for him. If that were the case he had plenty of opportunity to rekindle things before he met me. He might still have feelings for her in a way, but I don't think he would ever want to get back with her. I think a big part of this all might be that the novel he is writing is based around the love triangle between Tony, the ex and the flatmate, so the female character in the book is ostensibly based on her. That bothers me no end, and I think now that he is working on his novel full time he is getting drawn into the idea of her and perhaps that is why their contact has increased.Meh, that won't matter once the book fails because of the stupid topic and he has to get a real job anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
DrawingDeadInDM 0 Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 let us not forget that he lied. why lie is you've nothing to hide? LG is above all reasonable. if TONEH were to explain that he feels its necessary to remain friends with her becuase of her illness, i think she would respond kindly, as long as he was up front and honest. but he wasnt. therefore, we can call his intentions into question.personally, i dont see a reason to text an ex if you're fully invested in your current relationship. he should know how you are going to react to that. no one would encounter this situation and not be suspicious.I lie to my old lady at least a couple times a day. "I got home a little bit after midnight.""No, I don't care how much the photographer costs, it's your wedding." "Yeah, I paid the cable bill. This is our casino money.""Love you too."Seriously, though. I don't find the need to be able to say "I've never lied to you," rather, "I've never lied to you about anything important." Link to post Share on other sites
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