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I Called In Sick Today


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Unfortunately, I am falling asleep. (note that I am not falling asleep in an unfortunate manner. at least, that remains to be seen. )
More unfortunately, I'm falling asleep.(Note that I am falling asleep in an unfortunate manner, and that manner is more unfortunate than your manner.)I guess the game is called on account of us being tired weaklings.
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and after 3 days, he is risen!

If you are paying $20 for a haircut, I imagine people assume you did it yourself anyway.

Pocket change cost me my first and only black girlfriend.   It was in the middle of a roaring poker boom and I was flush in ways most men don't even bother dreaming of. Money, it was like dirt to me

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Fascinating grammar discussion
1) I'd never thought about "more important" vs. "more importantly" before, but now it's going to bug the shiiiiit out of me. As I was reading Spademan's argument, I was quickly and viciously overcome with shame. I swear on my still-living mother's grave that I considered searching for "Tactical Bear" + "More importantly" so I could go back and fix them all before anyone caught me.2) Has anyone ever heard of The Dangling Modifiers? 3) A few weeks ago at work, I was having a strangely high-brow conversation with a random person while I was outside smoking. While we were talking about meta-statements and Sapir-Whorf and all sorts of other linguistic stuff, a pretentious slut-bucket inserted herself into the conversation and decided she was going to contradict everything I said. I knew very little about the subject, but she, quite obviously, know even less. The conversation dissolved when her response to one of my points was, "That's just semantics." I gave her a few seconds, and when it became clear that she wasn't making a joke, I put my head down and walked away immediately. The options were: 1) Leave. Immediately. 2) Punch slut-bucket in the face.
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Before you fall asleep: I'm up all night with my shitty Tascam Porta-2 casette 4 track trying to work a dilruba into "Storm" by 'GY!BE" and can't seem to get the tones to line up on the instrument, even though they line up in my mind and I'm certain they will line up perfectly once I execute better. Do you know the best way to rosin the bow?
Being ironically pretentious is the new being pretentious. Also, I've never really dug Godspeed You!'s whole thing, and I've always felt guilty about that.
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Also, I've never really dug Godspeed You!'s whole thing, and I've always felt guilty about that.
If you ever find yourself internally debating whether or not you're a faggot in a genuine, non self-effacing kind of way, you can always come back here and find guidance in the above referenced sentence.That guilt you're experiencing is your intellect, nagging from the shadows at whatever you gloss over to 'fit in better' with dumber people, as they represent a broader array of social possibilities (and freefalling even further down the primordial ladder, potential breeding opportunities). Somebody has acceptance issues.
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I'll take a Killians Red, please. And a straw.
and ice. these yankees... I just don't know sometimes.
2) Punch slut-bucket in the face.
now everyone can put their finger on the glaring difference between Tactical Bear and ShakeZuma
Also, I've never really dug Godspeed You!'s whole thing, and I've always felt guilty about that.
I just got into them recently. didn't really like them the first couple of listens but after seth rogen made fun of them in pineapple express and I found out the second song on that F#A# album is the one from 28 days later, it started to click. gonna probably pop it on right now. also, that is one sexerific mustache.edit: I didn't even pick up that scrams GY!BE abbreviation was for godspeed you black emperor. I was wondering where tb got that from. I'm stupid! but I still get to see west virginia titties so fuck all yall.
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So, on my date last night the bill came to $70* and the guy offered to pay $64 of it. I was a bit tipsy and didn't put up too much resistance but in the end I only paid $15 of it and then bought a round of drinks which costed $10 too. I thought that these days it is standard to just split the bill or pay for what you ate, so I feel quite guilty for letting him pay so much. What do y'all think? How do you guys normally pay for dinner when you're on a date?*Obviously the prices were in £ but I have converted to $ for your convenience.

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More importantly, I ate the Heart Attack Burger, and got a t-shirt for finishing it. The shirt, unfortunately, does not include a picture of the burger. But here's a picture the ladyfriend took before I went at it. It was too big to eat like a regular burger, so I had to do it like two huge open face burgers.burger.jpg
I set the line at 4 the number of poops in the 24 hours after.
now everyone can put their finger on the glaring difference between Tactical Bear and ShakeZuma
Which finger?Shake - guys tits don't countI always paid for dinner on a date, but wouldn't be offended if she offered.
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Good thing you mentioned you converted it to USD because I didn't even think about it would be in £. Which made him offering to pay $64 of the $70 make more sense. On the few first dates I've been on I've always paid but then again I never went anywhere on a first date where spending $70 was in play. That's on him.Edit: Just went back and saw it didn't say "first". I guess it would depend on what date it is if I'm going to not offer pay all of it. Of course, I would probabaly never offer to only pay part unless we had been dating for a decent amount of time.

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First of all, this is the first time I've had to pay close attention to a lecture because the conversation in this thread was so boring (grammar!). It's usually the other way around. Secondofly, suck it.Edit: Fine, I'll say something about it. I don't care about grammatical rules in terms of writing, I only care about how something sounds in conversation. "More importantly" rolls off the tongue better than "more important" in that context. I completely understand that some people think that I'm an idiot for separating written from conversational grammar, and other people might disagree about my assessment of the "ly" in this particular situation in terms of how it sounds, but I don't really care.

What do y'all think? How do you guys normally pay for dinner when you're on a date?
I have a rule that I pay for everything on a first date. I've gone out with girls that clearly wanted to be adamant about splitting the bill, but when I put it like that they have always given in without a fight. It's a good method because it cuts out the awkward discussion, shows you're taking charge, and plants the "second date" seed. After the first date I don't really care either way, but would be a little wary if a girl didn't make an effort to pay at least part of her own way.But, to be fair, I don't go on blind dates, and I feel like in that situation I'd be more likely to allow bill-splitting.
I set the line at 4 the number of poops in the 24 hours after.
No poops for 48 hours, which isn't all that abnormal for me, but I had to pause the diet and get Chipotle last night to push things through. This morning, less than 12 hours after eating the burrito, I did shit out some shit (which, of course, included some Chipotle corn).
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I have a rule that I pay for everything on a first date. I've gone out with girls that clearly wanted to be adamant about splitting the bill, but when I put it like that they have always given in without a fight. It's a good method because it cuts out the awkward discussion, shows you're taking charge, and plants the "second date" seed. After the first date I don't really care either way, but would be a little wary if a girl didn't make an effort to pay at least part of her own way.
I c what u did there.The wife is in LV for the DRF National Handicapping ( Horse) Championship. She has another horse friend that lives in LV and they are going to cheer for some of their online friends that qualified.She just informed me that they are going to see Thunder from down Under tonight. Shake I may have to join you for some West Virgina flesh.
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burger.jpg
You finished that? That's...that's something.
If anyone but you posted this I'd assume it was to prove the point that Ghandi wasn't always right...but since it is coming from you, I'll assume that you're voicing your agreement with my position.
I thought he was saying that Ghandi wasn't really talking about animals in that quote you posted.
The most importantly thing I learned from my time in Africa was you don't mess with hippos.
pseudonym.jpg
Nice.
I've seen West Virginia strippers. I'm gonna go with 0.
This seems to suggest that Shake has standards.
2) Has anyone ever heard of The Dangling Modifiers?
Yeah.
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I have a rule that I pay for everything on a first date. I've gone out with girls that clearly wanted to be adamant about splitting the bill, but when I put it like that they have always given in without a fight. It's a good method because it cuts out the awkward discussion, shows you're taking charge, and plants the "second date" seed. After the first date I don't really care either way, but would be a little wary if a girl didn't make an effort to pay at least part of her own way.But, to be fair, I don't go on blind dates, and I feel like in that situation I'd be more likely to allow bill-splitting.
It was a second date.
Go on...
Ha. Au contraire, I am establishing a pattern of refusing to kiss at the end of dates. It has happened twice recently on my second date with a guy - we are at the metro station saying goodbye, he wants to kiss and I say "not now". I'm not playing hard to get or anything, I just don't want to kiss at a metro station, and I don't want the guy to announce his intention to kiss either. It's just awkward.
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I thought he was saying that Ghandi wasn't really talking about animals in that quote you posted.
Oh. He was talking about animals, although in other quotes he mentions treatment of generally weak people as other examples of how a society can show compassion.
It was a second date.
Oh, then I don't know. It's definitely weird to split a bill any way but 50/50 on a date, so the whole $15 thing is strange. After the first date I usually adopt a "whatever, it'll all even out in the end" policy...I'll pay for some stuff and not protest when she wants to pay for other stuff.
Ha. Au contraire, I am establishing a pattern of refusing to kiss at the end of dates. It has happened twice recently on my second date with a guy - we are at the metro station saying goodbye, he wants to kiss and I say "not now". I'm not playing hard to get or anything, I just don't want to kiss at a metro station, and I don't want the guy to announce his intention to kiss either. It's just awkward.
Dude, just suck it up and give a quick kiss at a metro station. Not every first kiss has to be exceptionally romantic, and it's a pretty big blow to a guy's ego to turn him down like that. I'm not saying I think a guy should go in for a first kiss at a metro station after making a request, but it's tough for guys, give them a break if you think you might like them.
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Oh. He was talking about animals, although in other quotes he mentions treatment of generally weak people as other examples of how a society can show compassion.
I was just foolin' about.
Dude, just suck it up and give a quick kiss at a metro station. Not every first kiss has to be exceptionally romantic, and it's a pretty big blow to a guy's ego to turn him down like that. I'm not saying I think a guy should go in for a first kiss at a metro station after making a request, but it's tough for guys, give them a break if you think you might like them.
Hmm. I've never asked for a first kiss, but I did have a girl say to me on a 2nd date, "so are you going to kiss me or what?" So I did. Then there was the time I went in for a kiss and I got the cheek. That was pretty deflating.
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I just don't want to kiss at a metro station
Is it because you don't want anyone to think you're a metrosexual?Where's BigD? Someone get him in here to read that joke.
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I was just foolin' about.
I wasn't.
Hmm.
Oh, speedz, you blowhard!
I've never asked for a first kiss, but I did have a girl say to me on a 2nd date, "so are you going to kiss me or what?" So I did. Then there was the time I went in for a kiss and I got the cheek. That was pretty deflating.
I've given the old, "Should we get the first kiss out of the way?" Usually I just go in for it though...once a girl just pursed her lips, which was pretty deflating, but then, a few minutes later, she blocked me from leaving her apartment and made me do it again, and was very receptive. Apparently some girls are just very particular about timing.
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Dude, just suck it up and give a quick kiss at a metro station. Not every first kiss has to be exceptionally romantic, and it's a pretty big blow to a guy's ego to turn him down like that. I'm not saying I think a guy should go in for a first kiss at a metro station after making a request, but it's tough for guys, give them a break if you think you might like them.
It's not like I planned it that way, I just do what I feel like and that's how things went down on both occasions. Of course, I have left out other contributing factors and details. I probably would have kissed this guy last night if he wasn't feeling unwell. Throughout the date he was a trooper and kept insisting that he wasn't ill, but it was pretty obvious that he was in pain. He even wrote out a preliminary diagnosis at my behest, so that if he collapsed I could give it to the paramedics (he is a medical student). I don't know how much doctor speak correlates to vet speak, but he queried Dissecting Aortic Aneurysm in his diagnosis. Now, I'm not deadset on having "romantic" moments with a guy, but I prefer it if they're not in severe pain when we make out. That's what I said to him at the time and he agreed to it. We already planned to go out again so I knew he wasn't going to take it personally. Man am I hungry. I wish I had the fixings for one of those absurd grilled cheese burgers. If that thing was vegetarian I guarantee you I would polish it off as long as there was no time constraint.
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Where's BigD? Someone get him in here to read that joke.
Haha
Oh, speedz, you blowhard!
Nice.
I wish I had the fixings for one of those absurd grilled cheese burgers. I guarantee you I would polish it off as long as there was no time constraint.
Totally. Lunch/dinner/lunch/dinner and that thing will be eaten.You have some weird dates.
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That is one ugly chola. And now I am really hungry for that meal.
You have some weird dates.
You think it's weird from just that? Man, you ought to have heard our conversations. Within 5 minutes of our first date, "scatological", "abortion", and "cut the penis off a cadaver" featured in our discussions. Yesterday some of the highlights of our conversation were "bestiality", "female masturbation" and "analingus". Taken out of context, they have been some really weird dates. In context... still weird. But evidently we had fun.
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I don't know how much doctor speak correlates to vet speak, but he queried Dissecting Aortic Aneurysm in his diagnosis.
In general, medicine is medicine, with the main differences being if and how things are treated.
You think it's weird from just that? Man, you ought to have heard our conversations. Within 5 minutes of our first date, "scatological", "abortion", and "cut the penis off a cadaver" featured in our discussions. Yesterday some of the highlights of our conversation were "bestiality", "female masturbation" and "analingus". Taken out of context, they have been some really weird dates. In context... still weird. But evidently we had fun.
Weird is good. Weird means not boring.
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