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I Called In Sick Today


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You know what makes me sad? That actress chick isn't even that hot. I wanted to post a picture of her, but her head is simply too big. Seriously, it dwarfs the rest of her being entirely.
You banged BigD's sister?
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and after 3 days, he is risen!

If you are paying $20 for a haircut, I imagine people assume you did it yourself anyway.

Pocket change cost me my first and only black girlfriend.   It was in the middle of a roaring poker boom and I was flush in ways most men don't even bother dreaming of. Money, it was like dirt to me

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You know what makes me sad? That actress chick isn't even that hot. I wanted to post a picture of her, but her head is simply too big. Seriously, it dwarfs the rest of her being entirely.
So the girl just texted me that the key wouldn't turn in her new (used) car. I told her to twist the wheel while turning the key. It worked.Who's not a man NOW, assholes! HUH!
I was going to say Helena Bonham Carter.
Pretty sure that was digitally enhanced.
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I could imagine these audio tracks being interesting, but after listening to a couple of them, I have determined that this guy is just horrible at this and should stop doing it.
There's a certain level of "Oh my God, this is so horrible!" and also a sense of "How totally awesome is this!"Then after listening to some of the break ups, it is realized very quickly that this guy is an idiot. I'm thinking there are a few sickies in here that could do this job full time and quickly build a fan base for witty, merciless break ups. Possible radio/reality TV even. The sky is the limit.
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So the girl just texted me that the key wouldn't turn in her new (used) car. I told her to twist the wheel while turning the key. It worked.Who's not a man NOW, assholes! HUH!
Well so much for that relationship. I can hear the wheels spinning in her mind right now."Hmmm, Mrs. Speedz...."
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Or maybe it was every other role that was digitally enhanced.
Consider my mind: blown.
Well so much for that relationship. I can hear the wheels spinning in her mind right now."Hmmm, Mrs. Speedz...."
I mean, she's kind of a little hipster, which isn't really my thing...
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My problem isn't typically fear of rejection, it's fear of acceptance followed by a fairly quick realization that I've made a huge mistake followed by weeks of faking it followed by a painful breakup.
I mean, she's kind of a little hipster, which isn't really my thing...
That was more than just fairly quickly.
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There's a certain level of "Oh my God, this is so horrible!" and also a sense of "How totally awesome is this!"Then after listening to some of the break ups, it is realized very quickly that this guy is an idiot. I'm thinking there are a few sickies in here that could do this job full time and quickly build a fan base for witty, merciless break ups. Possible radio/reality TV even. The sky is the limit.
It reminded me of the old pyschoexigirlfriend website so I checked and though that was closed, there is a new one featuring the 50 something voicemails, and alot of other stories.http://psychoexgirlfriend.net/2009/02/ex-g...voicemails.html
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boy speedz and wang sure are being a bunch of bitc...

I've been ignoring you for a while, but come on, man. What the fuck is wrong with you? I don't care that you're being a dick; I care that you're doing it just to be a dick. You're not being entertaining. You're not being funny. You're just... being a dick. For some reason, you have decided that I MUST BE STOPPED, and, to that end, you are acting like a total fucking asshole. If you want to be a dick, go ahead, just please -- for the love of God, man, please! -- step your game up a little. "Wang is a bitch" is probably the most tired "joke" in the thread, so can you just try to be more original in the future? Tampons? Be a man? Come on. You're so much better than that. What's really going on here, Mike? Because I refuse to believe that's the best you can do.
oh.
It sounds like vb's "friend" should have hundreds.
I quite enjoyed the quotation marks here.
My problem isn't typically fear of rejection, it's fear of acceptance followed by a fairly quick realization that I've made a huge mistake followed by weeks of faking it followed by a painful breakup.
yeah I think I'm equal parts fear of rejection and fear of having to actually deal with a relationship. it's like, even if I can get past the possible rejection and on to the possibility that the girl might actually like me, I'll then start to think "wait, what do I do after this? am I going to have to actually date this girl?" and it all stops. but I'm pretty unattractive, so the second part doesn't come around much.
So the girl just texted me that the key wouldn't turn in her new (used) car. I told her to twist the wheel while turning the key. It worked.Who's not a man NOW, assholes! HUH!
you may be more of a man, but apparently you're dating someone with downs syndrome.
I mean, she's kind of a little hipster, which isn't really my thing...
but a downs syndrome having hipster... man, if you don't like her send her my way. that sounds hot.
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I quite enjoyed the quotation marks here.
OK I was't going to say anything, but now that you've drawn attention to it... I did not enjoy the quotation marks there. Reason: It implies that I had asked out a million girls and become a fearless casanova, but then attributed this story to someone else. That makes no sense.
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yeah I think I'm equal parts fear of rejection and fear of having to actually deal with a relationship. it's like, even if I can get past the possible rejection and on to the possibility that the girl might actually like me, I'll then start to think "wait, what do I do after this? am I going to have to actually date this girl?" and it all stops. but I'm pretty unattractive, so the second part doesn't come around much.
You and me both, buddy.
but a downs syndrome having hipster... man, if you don't like her send her my way. that sounds hot.
Back off, she's perfect for me! But maybe a little short. You can have her. Back off!
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OK I was't going to say anything, but now that you've drawn attention to it... I did not enjoy the quotation marks there. Reason: It implies that I had asked out a million girls and become a fearless casanova, but then attributed this story to someone else. That makes no sense.
no, it doesn't. it implies you have a "friend" - if i wanted to imply that you were the friend in questions, i'd have said "vb's friend." or maybe you just don't want ElG to know how smooth you really are, in case he comes visiting again.
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oh, I thought it meant that jll was implying that it was vb doing the approaching of the women. who cares though, quotation marks are funny regardless.right "speedz?"

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no, it doesn't. it implies you have a "friend" - if i wanted to imply that you were the friend in questions, i'd have said "vb's friend." or maybe you just don't want ElG to know how smooth you really are, in case he comes visiting again.
I still don't get it. Note that I never said this guy was my friend, he was a guy I knew in grad school. I don't pretend to have friends.
I thought it implied that vb doesn't really have any friends. As a joke. I guess.
More like some kind of "joke".
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