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I Called In Sick Today


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and after 3 days, he is risen!

If you are paying $20 for a haircut, I imagine people assume you did it yourself anyway.

Pocket change cost me my first and only black girlfriend.   It was in the middle of a roaring poker boom and I was flush in ways most men don't even bother dreaming of. Money, it was like dirt to me

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I remember once talking to some high school co-worker in the back window at mcdonalds. mid-conversation, he just takes out his phone and starts texting. I didn't hear a vibration or anything, so I'm pretty sure nobody had initiated a conversation with him. I don't even remember what I was talking about at the time. must not have been very interesting, huh.he was black.

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Good pep talk. Probably better than Shake's.
yeah but with a lot less truth in it.
diabetes: now communicable!
that whole post was really just an excuse for me to say "catch diabetes" to be honest.
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Pre-Cana for five hours today and tomorrow. Sweet.
2 days? Ours was 1 day...not too much fun. Didn't know you were engaged. Congrats.
jesus I'm bitter.
Become a Bears fan. Lovie Smith is brutal.
I remember once talking to some high school co-worker in the back window at mcdonalds. mid-conversation, he just takes out his phone and starts texting. I didn't hear a vibration or anything, so I'm pretty sure nobody had initiated a conversation with him. I don't even remember what I was talking about at the time. must not have been very interesting, huh.he was black.
Enjoyed your sloth video.
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- I had my first legit fist fight in a long time. I won, but that shiiit (<---- sorry, but bypassing the swear filter on an iPod is troublesome as fuuuuck) was Pyrrhic as fuuuuck. You know what hurts? Getting punched, especially in the face. It really, really hurts. And it hurts so much more the next day. Just... so God damned much. Anyway, I've still got some awesome face-bruising -- some if it is starting to turn yellow! -- and I'm starting to think my ring finger just isn't going to heal. I look like an extra from Fight Club or something, which makes work kind of: awful/awesome. Also of note, I happened to get in the fight at work, while working -- I was wearing a pair of grey Calvin Klein slacks, a white Ralph Lauren shirt, and a blue Hanes and Bonner tie -- which makes work... all sorts of stuff (including: the previously mentioned awful/awesome combination).
I can't decide what I care more about...how the fight started or a play by play of the actual fisticuffs.
Question: What the fuuuck is the deal with cucumbers?
Besides them being awesome in almost every way imaginable?
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Better start checking for "sexts" and racy pictures pretty soon, pops. I hear those are all the rage with the teens, and we sure as hell know that both nature and nurture are pushing her to follow in her dad's footsteps.

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Better start checking for "sexts" and racy pictures pretty soon, pops. I hear those are all the rage with the teens, and we sure as hell know that both nature and nurture are pushing her to follow in her dad's footsteps.
You shut your mouth!
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A) Brv's wife is pretty awesomeB) I saw Turbo at work the other day when I got gas but he looked busy, so I didn't talk to himC) I took a cougar home from the bar the other night. But, thats really giving myself to much credit because that implies that I convinced when really, I did nothing but ask her back at closing time. I didn't realize she was old, like, 35+, though until we got back to my buddys and I saw her in the light. She then started talking about her two kids and youtube and Dwight Yochum, and showed me my name in her phone, right above "Baby Daddy", and I just couldn't go through with it. I'm sorry. I feel like I let you all down. I did make out with her friend though that came back with us (again, I didn't do anything, she literallly through me down on the bed as they were leaving and started making out; she was...not the most attractive girl ever). I'm sorry.
Is she really a cougar at that age though? Let's re-hash this....
You shut your mouth!
Apple falling close to the tree and all that?
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Speedz, I was referencing napa's shitting video from years ago.

2 days? Ours was 1 day...not too much fun. Didn't know you were engaged.
Thanks. Classes weren't too bad. Lot of the leader couples said their classes were like 6 weeks long. I use over 2000 texts a month.
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hey speedz, I'm pretty sure she thinks that you're a really great guy, and that any girl would be really, really lucky to have you, but that she just really values your friendship too much to take a chance on messing that up.there. saved you three weeks and $140.
Nice.
Have you ever seen that phone commercial where the dude sees the girl on the train and then changes his tickets to get on her train and then they end up together?
Seriously loogie, how do you not have a job making commercials yet? Is anybody really buying that you could do all that on your phone that quickly? I think the chances of that being real is less than zero percent. It's a negative percentage. Like, if you actually attempted such a maneuver, karma would make the train pull away faster.Hey Shake, you had a pretty egregious spelling error in one of your posts over the weekend. Just thought you should know.
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Is anybody really buying that you could do all that on your phone that quickly?
Nobody who has ever used internet on a phone is buying it. Takes 3 minutes just to search some flights on kayak. Drives me nuts every time especially because Linda likes that commercial.
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Seriously loogie, how do you not have a job making commercials yet? Is anybody really buying that you could do all that on your phone that quickly? I think the chances of that being real is less than zero percent. It's a negative percentage. Like, if you actually attempted such a maneuver, karma would make the train pull away faster.
It's the nations fastest network. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9xAJmdhQzJ4
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Besides them being awesome in almost every way imaginable?
Is she really a cougar at that age though? Let's re-hash this....
See above...that's a cougar.
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my uncle, 50s, overweight, diabetes, lost his job a month ago. no college education, industry was retail plumbing fixtures. which obviously you can guess what sales look like. you fags are lucky to have jobs.
Well, I'm turning 50 have no health issues and a job. The wife appears to have one now as well with confirmation coming in a few days. Oh and I can take a punch unlike Wang. Thanks, I'm not depressed.
hey speedz, I'm pretty sure she thinks that you're a really great guy, and that any girl would be really, really lucky to have you, but that she just really values your friendship too much to take a chance on messing that up.there. saved you three weeks and $140.
And Speedzy, just do what I do. Go out for drinks with her, get her drunk, see what happens, apologize the next day if it goes horribly and blame the booze.
I think you should probably just quit being a pussy and ask her out. Have you ever seen that phone commercial where the dude sees the girl on the train and then changes his tickets to get on her train and then they end up together? Well, she might get snagged by someone else if you don't do the snagging. Who cares if she's not into you, at least you'll know. I mean, I have an awesome wife (ask Napa), but there were a couple times that I was too scared to ask people out because I was too scared. It turned out later that they really liked me, but were just playing it cool. Whatever. Do your thing. There are plenty of girls that would want to marry a rich vet. You need to start looking at it like you're doing them a favor.
Best relationship advice on the net.
A) Brv's wife is pretty awesomeB) I saw Turbo at work the other day when I got gas but he looked busy, so I didn't talk to himC) I took a cougar home from the bar the other night. But, thats really giving myself to much credit because that implies that I convinced when really, I did nothing but ask her back at closing time. I didn't realize she was old, like, 35+, though until we got back to my buddys and I saw her in the light. She then started talking about her two kids and youtube and Dwight Yochum, and showed me my name in her phone, right above "Baby Daddy", and I just couldn't go through with it. I'm sorry. I feel like I let you all down. I did make out with her friend though that came back with us (again, I didn't do anything, she literallly through me down on the bed as they were leaving and started making out; she was...not the most attractive girl ever). I'm sorry.
Oh it's okay. The last Cougar hookup I can remember was Bizzles and it didn't go that well, though the story will live in Sickie infamy for keeping us entertained for month or two.
The badness:- stuck ~12.5 on some ridiculousness. Cartoonish-type shiiiit- laptop died sometime earlier this week, and I'm computerless for the moment. What up from my iPod?- I had my first legit fist fight in a long time. I won, but that shiiit (<---- sorry, but bypassing the swear filter on an iPod is troublesome as fuuuuck) was Pyrrhic as fuuuuck. You know what hurts? Getting punched, especially in the face. It really, really hurts. And it hurts so much more the next day. Just... so God damned much. Anyway, I've still got some awesome face-bruising -- some if it is starting to turn yellow! -- and I'm starting to think my ring finger just isn't going to heal. I look like an extra from Fight Club or something, which makes work kind of: awful/awesome. Also of note, I happened to get in the fight at work, while working -- I was wearing a pair of grey Calvin Klein slacks, a white Ralph Lauren shirt, and a blue Hanes and Bonner tie -- which makes work... all sorts of stuff (including: the previously mentioned awful/awesome combination).- There's a lot more but this keyboard is so small. And my thumbs hurt
I will never tire of you writing ability, it's simply amazing to read some times. But , I am really interested in the details of the fight, the guilt that will soon accompany it, and some pics of said bruising. It's been a while since I've had my ass kicked at a football game or fallen down some stairs to entertain the thread so I appreciate your efforts to pick up my slack.
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