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I Called In Sick Today


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Pretty early on, I told Jenny -- since I really liked her and wanted to do everything I could to protect myself -- that, despite appearances, I'm really a bundle of neuroses and improperly functioning decision matrices. She didn't really believe me, and for some reason, just now, I thought of this line:Wang: "Anyway, I'm just warning you. Think of it like a... [cannot think of the word "inoculation"] Cootie Shot."

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and after 3 days, he is risen!

If you are paying $20 for a haircut, I imagine people assume you did it yourself anyway.

Pocket change cost me my first and only black girlfriend.   It was in the middle of a roaring poker boom and I was flush in ways most men don't even bother dreaming of. Money, it was like dirt to me

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are we really using people's first and last names from Facebook in this thread?
Sorry, edited. I thought it had been in the thread often enough.Anything interesting happen around here this weekend?
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Kim reportedly also enjoys basketball. Former United States Secretary of State Madeleine Albright ended her summit with Kim by presenting him with a basketball signed by NBA legend Michael Jordan.[113] Also an apparent golfer, North Korean state media reports that Kim routinely shoots three or four holes-in-one per round[114] (the odds of making a single hole-in-one in one round are around 1 in 5,000).[115] His official biography also claims Kim has composed six operas and enjoys staging elaborate musicals.[116] Kim also refers to himself as an Internet expert.well, now I gotta change my title.

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Kim reportedly also enjoys basketball. Former United States Secretary of State Madeleine Albright ended her summit with Kim by presenting him with a basketball signed by NBA legend Michael Jordan.[113] Also an apparent golfer, North Korean state media reports that Kim routinely shoots three or four holes-in-one per round[114] (the odds of making a single hole-in-one in one round are around 1 in 5,000).[115] His official biography also claims Kim has composed six operas and enjoys staging elaborate musicals.[116] Kim also refers to himself as an Internet expert.
This Kim girl sounds awesome! Where can I meet her?
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Okay, so this makes me irrationally happy, too, which I didn't know until now: "Everybody hates you. Everybody wishes that you were dead. 'Cause Peter you suck. Peter you suck. Peter your music is fucking terrible. Peter you suck, Peter you suck. Peter you don't do anything of value. Peter you suck. Write some music. But instead you sit and write these bullshit songs. It's so self-loathing. Go see a psychiatrist. I hate the psychiatrist. Oh, go see one anyway. I don't like the psychiatrist. You need to go see one. See a psychaitrist. I'm not going."
My favorite part of the movie is when he breaks down while drunkenly playing the theme to the muppet show. The DVD commentary has a funny story about the fact that it was just an improvised throwaway scene that they kept because it was absolutely killing with test audiences.
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Andrew and 5 others like this.
Kim reportedly also enjoys basketball. Former United States Secretary of State Madeleine Albright ended her summit with Kim by presenting him with a basketball signed by NBA legend Michael Jordan.[113] Also an apparent golfer, North Korean state media reports that Kim routinely shoots three or four holes-in-one per round[114] (the odds of making a single hole-in-one in one round are around 1 in 5,000).[115] His official biography also claims Kim has composed six operas and enjoys staging elaborate musicals.[116] Kim also refers to himself as an Internet expert.well, now I gotta change my title.
This is how I read your post:I sort of skimmed from the beginning until [114], then realized what I was reading, so I skipped to your note, then I looked at your new title, then realized there must be more to what you posted, so I started over from the beginning, then I laughed when I came to the "Kim also refers to himself as an Internet expert."It was quite the journey.
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Maybe North Korea only has mini-golf?Also, a good coincidence story:The only President to not win his own party's nomination (when trying to run for a 2nd term) is Franklin Pierce. His great-great-great-great-great granddaughter was Barbara Pierce, who later married and became Barbara Bush.See, sucking at president was in W's DNA. Just found out that our firm "retreat" will be in Boca Raton. Disappointment-face.

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I'm sure there's a jew/lawyer joke here somewhere.
with some sort of retirement del boca vista type angle maybe. We get to work on our litigation skills though!
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I know, right? Imagine if someone from this site showed up at your door uninvited and out of the blue. Seems like that would be a story you'd have to tell.
no, that doesn't sound right at all.so there's this incredibly hot girl that's on my team at work. long dark hair, dark skin, beautiful eyes, ridiculous body, I mean the whole works, and every time I see her I look her all over and my eyes invariably drift down to her left hand and the giant rock on her ring finger and I say to myself, "well yeah, you've gotta lock that down."
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