Theraflu 1,035 Posted October 6, 2010 Share Posted October 6, 2010 You broke up with this girlfriend just a couple of months before we got together. Obviously by the drawer full of stuff you've kept youstill hold some feelings for her. The (assuming)last letter from her you did not open, however, showing that you aren't so hung up on herthat you can't wait to read anything she sends you. This would be cause for a conversation but necessarily a "red flag". Just something weneed to talk about to make sure your heart and mind is with me now. How about you box up the "stuff" and put it away at least?Way too rational for a woman. Have you ever tried to logically explain something to a female? This isn't how they think. Link to post Share on other sites
El Guapo 8 Posted October 6, 2010 Share Posted October 6, 2010 I am guessing this is Maggie and her new boyfriend.I personally think it's a huge red flag. It's a lovely drawer of memories and disappointment (most likely). If he can't let go, how could he possibly be fully invested into the new relationship? Even if the last relationship wasn't that great, it needs to be properly moved past and holding onto that many items for that long says to me he has not. Link to post Share on other sites
Skeleton Jelly 2 Posted October 6, 2010 Share Posted October 6, 2010 The (assuming)last letter from her you did not open, however, showing that you aren't so hung up on her that you can't wait to read anything she sends you.The last letter is unopened because he's afraid it will definitively close the door to them getting back together. Link to post Share on other sites
Theraflu 1,035 Posted October 6, 2010 Share Posted October 6, 2010 This is the same dude that Maggie was going to move in with? Link to post Share on other sites
JubilantLankyLad 1,957 Posted October 6, 2010 Share Posted October 6, 2010 I've had a girlfriend find a drawer of ex-girlfriend stuff.Her reaction was, "What the fuck?"I replied, "I don't know; just never threw it out, you know?"Her reply (with her eyes), "Well?"My reply (with my actions), "Into the trash."Then we were all good.wow you're a pussy.if it was me, i'd burn it all. then, i'd dare him to get mad about it. if he did get mad, i'd dump him because clearly he still has feelings. if he didn't get mad at me, i'd dump him for having no heart or sentiment. regardless of his decision, i'd immediately contact an ex boyfriend, take him out to lunch, cry about the situation just enough for him to know i was feeling vulnerable, then hint that maybe i'd sleep with him. i would not see any hypocrisy, paradox, or irrationality in any of this. Link to post Share on other sites
CaneBrain 95 Posted October 6, 2010 Share Posted October 6, 2010 wow you're a pussy.if it was me, i'd burn it all. then, i'd dare him to get mad about it. if he did get mad, i'd dump him because clearly he still has feelings. if he didn't get mad at me, i'd dump him for having no heart or sentiment. regardless of his decision, i'd immediately contact an ex boyfriend, take him out to lunch, cry about the situation just enough for him to know i was feeling vulnerable, then hint that maybe i'd sleep with him. i would not see any hypocrisy, paradox, or irrationality in any of this.I'm terrified and impressed. Link to post Share on other sites
LadyGhey 0 Posted October 6, 2010 Share Posted October 6, 2010 I'm a real girl so here is the real answer:1. I would feel jealous, upset and slightly betrayed. Why does my boyfriend need this stuff when he has an awesome new girlfriend like me? Clearly he is still holding on to this ex. 2. A box of stuff tucked away in a cupboard is fine. A nightstand drawer is readily accessible at all times - why keep this stuff there unless he wants to look at it fairly often? He hasn't let go. 3. Surely that drawer could be put to better use. Perhaps it could be cleared to make room for my sexy negligie for instance. Why is she still occupying such a convenient and useful space in his room? All in all I am hurt and confused. The ex is promoted to threat level: severe. Maximum damage control is needed to repair the relationship: a purge of the souvenirs, and ample reassurance that I am the only one he wants and that I am so much better than that old broad. Link to post Share on other sites
LadyGhey 0 Posted October 6, 2010 Share Posted October 6, 2010 The last letter is unopened because he's afraid it will definitively close the door to them getting back together.Also: THIS. Link to post Share on other sites
JubilantLankyLad 1,957 Posted October 6, 2010 Share Posted October 6, 2010 so..... blowjobs? Link to post Share on other sites
SuitedAces21 2,722 Posted October 6, 2010 Share Posted October 6, 2010 the guy in this situation is an idiot. plain and simple. Link to post Share on other sites
Shimmering Wang 1 Posted October 6, 2010 Share Posted October 6, 2010 I'm a real girl so here is the real answer:1. I would feel jealous, upset and slightly betrayed. Why does my boyfriend need this stuff when he has an awesome new girlfriend like me? Clearly he is still holding on to this ex. 2. A box of stuff tucked away in a cupboard is fine. A nightstand drawer is readily accessible at all times - why keep this stuff there unless he wants to look at it fairly often? He hasn't let go. 3. Surely that drawer could be put to better use. Perhaps it could be cleared to make room for my sexy negligie for instance. Why is she still occupying such a convenient and useful space in his room? All in all I am hurt and confused. The ex is promoted to threat level: severe. Maximum damage control is needed to repair the relationship: a purge of the souvenirs, and ample reassurance that I am the only one he wants and that I am so much better than that old broad.Best answer so far. So how would you proceed? Link to post Share on other sites
vbnautilus 48 Posted October 6, 2010 Share Posted October 6, 2010 All in all I am hurt and confused.Dammit I knew this one! This is the correct answer like 80% of the time. Link to post Share on other sites
Theraflu 1,035 Posted October 6, 2010 Share Posted October 6, 2010 Best answer so far. So how would you proceed? Maximum damage control is needed to repair the relationship: a purge of the souvenirs, and ample reassurance that I am the only one he wants and that I am so much better than that old broad. Link to post Share on other sites
Tiltinagain 973 Posted October 6, 2010 Share Posted October 6, 2010 Way too rational for a woman. Have you ever tried to logically explain something to a female? This isn't how they think.You're so right.Goddammit! Link to post Share on other sites
LadyGhey 0 Posted October 6, 2010 Share Posted October 6, 2010 Best answer so far. So how would you proceed?I as the girl? First I may try to test boyfriend by asking in a casual way if he has ever kept stuff from a previous relationship. This gives an opportunity to raise the subject without drawing criticism for snooping, and even if he guesses what my inspiration was he is likely too busy defending himself to scold me. Now either he lies - go to step 2 -, evades the question - go to step 2 -, or tells the truth - go to step 3Step 2: rather than ask directly i might concoct a lie. I was looking for something reasonable and happened to look in the drawer. I saw the ex junk. If he previously lied he may lie again (forgot it was there) - bad idea. I will persist until it becomes an argument If he evaded he should now realise the jig is up and commence with damage control since evading is no longer an option, and lying will be handled as above. Step 3: communication/the argument. Either we have a relatively rational yet rather fraught discussion about why he keeps the stuff there - or we have a big fight about it where everything is conflated. In the former case, we may come to a compromise - he apologises and promises to get rid of the stuff etc, make up sex commences, we both make an effort for a few days. In the latter case he probably ends up making me feel guilty for snooping. I cry a lot and end up apologising to him, but later feel bitter about letting him switch things around. Unlikely scenario unless the hypothetical story is really about Wang, Jenny and maggie: the boyfriend is honest and says he still has feelings for the ex but knows it can never work. I am terribly hurt and we break up. Unless he makes a huge effort we do not get back together. Link to post Share on other sites
LadyGhey 0 Posted October 6, 2010 Share Posted October 6, 2010 Double post? I'll take the opportunity to apologise for my clumsy typing and lack of editing. I'm on my touch so it's too hard to check my work. Link to post Share on other sites
Skeleton Jelly 2 Posted October 6, 2010 Share Posted October 6, 2010 so..... not blowjobs? Link to post Share on other sites
Theraflu 1,035 Posted October 6, 2010 Share Posted October 6, 2010 so..... not blowjobs?That's...the implication. Link to post Share on other sites
LadyGhey 0 Posted October 6, 2010 Share Posted October 6, 2010 so..... not blowjobs?You obviously skipped the part where we have make up sex. Link to post Share on other sites
El Guapo 8 Posted October 6, 2010 Share Posted October 6, 2010 That's...the implication.It's ok, he was never in any danger anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
JubilantLankyLad 1,957 Posted October 6, 2010 Share Posted October 6, 2010 It's ok, he was never in any danger anyway.looooool Link to post Share on other sites
Skeleton Jelly 2 Posted October 6, 2010 Share Posted October 6, 2010 You obviously skipped the part where we have make up sex.Cooo-stanza! Link to post Share on other sites
LadyGhey 0 Posted October 6, 2010 Share Posted October 6, 2010 so..... not blowjobs? It's ok, he was never in any danger anyway. looooool Cooo-stanza!Yeah I don't get any of this. Link to post Share on other sites
Theraflu 1,035 Posted October 6, 2010 Share Posted October 6, 2010 Yeah I don't get any of this.Failing to quote my post proves that. Link to post Share on other sites
ShakeZuma 585 Posted October 6, 2010 Share Posted October 6, 2010 HIyou should post more.The situation: You are a female. What is your reaction? Why?my first reaction would be to log onto the poker forum I post on and ask all the girls there what they think. Link to post Share on other sites
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