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I Called In Sick Today


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If you are paying $20 for a haircut, I imagine people assume you did it yourself anyway.

and after 3 days, he is risen!

Pocket change cost me my first and only black girlfriend.   It was in the middle of a roaring poker boom and I was flush in ways most men don't even bother dreaming of. Money, it was like dirt to me

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Rob Schneider is apparently from S.F. and at the opening of yesterday's pennant clinching game he was out on the field and had everyone say "C'mon Giants ... YOU CAN DO IT" I am ashamed to say, I said it along with him and liked it.

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Earlier today, right after the Ravens covered, I was kicked out of Hooters and asked never to return. While paying my tab, I discovered I was, to everyone's recollection, the first person to be perma-banned without drinking or harassing a waitress. At one point, there was this exchange:Wang: "Inappropriate language? This is a bar."Manager: "It's a Sunday afternoon. There are children here."Wang: "You're kicking me out because this guy" [points to a nearby white-trash dad with two kids under the age of 13 at his table] "wants to ogle girls half his age?"Manager: "Sir, I'm just asking you-"Wang: [to white-trash dad] "Hey buddy, this isn't a Chuck E Cheese."Wang: [to manager] "Just admit you're kicking me out because this guy is a bad father. Just say it."
This story would have been really awesome had you finished it by throwing a twenty at the father and yelled at him to take his kids to go see Shrek 9.
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Oy. Just got back from Vegas....pretty amazing trip. Gotta go put in a half day at work.Wang, if Vegas cared about people getting too rowdy, I would have been kicked out of the Venetian sports book during that Ravens game. Almost cost me a huge win on a 3 team parlay (I know parlays are stupid but it was fun). When they ran two fade patterns the first time they got close down 14-10, I really put on a show of bad language and rude behavior. However, Jets cover + Ravens win + Lions cover = nice amount of Jew gold for me.Also, the SF Giants fans at the sports book were the politest sports fans I have ever seen. Very weird.

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Also, the SF Giants fans at the sports book were the politest sports fans I have ever seen. Very weird.
For the most part Giants fans are great. Except the stupid cunt that would not switch seats with us so we could all sit together. I bought tickets for this game almost two months ago, and I could not get 4 seats together. I was able to get two sets of two seat 4 seats apart on the same row 20 rows up from the first base dugout. My dad and brother were sitting on the aisle and we were four seats in. When the people arrived who were sitting next to my dad and brother, I asked if I could switch with them so we could all sit together. The lady said she would only switch if she was moving up rows and getting better seats. So apparently sliding two seats to your right is going to greatly affect the game. I did get the guys sitting on my other side to agree so we were all able to sit together.I was complaining about it on my drive home and my dad said, "it's ok, God punished her". I asked "how's that?" My dad said, "because she's an ugly old miserable bitch"
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I was complaining about it on my drive home and my dad said, "it's ok, God punished her". I asked "how's that?" My dad said, "because she's an ugly old miserable bitch"
I love when old(er) people surprise you with hilariousness. You going to go see a playoff game?Also, my brother in law really put on a show when he got hammered Saturday night. We had a really nice room in the Venetian but our window faced the Flamingo so we were staring right at a 100 foot tall Rita Rudner advertisement. So, after lots of drinks at dinner he had this conversation with the front desk.Front Desk: How may I assist you?Brother in Law: There is a problem with our room.FD: What is the problem?BIL: There is a very creepy woman peeping into our room and it makes me uncomfortable.FD: Can you describe the person?BIL: It's Rita Rudner.FD: I'm sorry?BIL: Rita Rudner is staring right into our room. It's awful. She doesn't even blink.FD: What?BIL: I don't know how I can make this clearer. Rita Rudner is wrapped in a microphone cord and she is doing nothing but staring right into our window and I don't like it, not one bit.FD: (catching on) well, I am sorry to hear that Miss Rudner is bothering you. Would you like to switch rooms?BIL: It would be better if someone could go over there and ask her to stop. Or just send up some complimentary beverages so I can ignore her better.FD: I'll see what I can do. Have a wonderful night.We did not receive complimentary beverages.
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I just came home from a shitty morning to sit on the couch and mope, and I have Cheeto and Dewey, one on either side of me, just sitting on the couch, purring away. Not bothering me or wanting anything in particular, just hanging out and enjoying it when I pet them once in a while. Cats.

Did you see Let the Right One In?
I did no such thing.
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Woman drives 200+ miles to murder internet commenter, fails.
Then I found what I believe may be the offending document -- a post on an online forum called UndergroundHipHop.com, dated September 23, 2010, insulting "Breanna Greathouse" in terms so vile I can't bring myself to even allude to them in circumlocutory fashion. Needless to say, this is just a hunch. But if you were looking for online comments that could plausibly make someone want to kill someone else, these fit the bill.
The offending passage appears to have been the only post in a thread titled 'Things Breana Greathouse Pu$$ Has Use For.' Your rational person would simply insult the author's grammatical skills, although murder is a good second option.http://forums.undergroundhiphop.com/readpo...stionID=2826967
Im sure there are many for applications bre's pu$$ to name a few* stink bait for catching channel catfish* animal human and insect repent* induce vomiting for medical purposes * stripping paint fron oil based paints to led based paints* devouring bounty hunters on tattooine * Halloween prop or used in a wes craven flick/face hugger from aliens* weapons of mass destruction/chemical warfare * Eugenics / catalyst of sickle cell * Safe Sex PSA scared straight program* moth balls* ruin appetite / dietary means * greasing a trailer hitch * Hadron Collider (LHC) worm hole time travel* catholic priests punching bag
It's really not even that funny.
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Woman drives 200+ miles to murder internet commenter, fails.The offending passage appears to have been the only post in a thread titled 'Things Breana Greathouse Pu$$ Has Use For.' Your rational person would simply insult the author's grammatical skills, although murder is a good second option.http://forums.undergroundhiphop.com/readpo...stionID=2826967It's really not even that funny.
It's highly imaginative to be sure, but the 3 missing letters in this line really aggravate me: "animal human and insect repent".
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It's highly imaginative to be sure, but the 3 missing letters in this line really aggravate me: "animal human and insect repent".
Well, there is always the possibitlity that she subscibes to Wang's hatred of innapropriate comma, (or lack thereof), placement that sent her over the edge as well.
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