I Called In Sick Today

[Roll the Bones 74]

happy 9/11!

HAHA, I'll admit I thought about this but really only you could have pulled it off.Okay, so a stevesesque black people rant about how annoying they can be.Lady is at my desk giving me credit information.Husbands name?"jhzahronnn"? Can you spell that?"J A R O N"Okayyy, Employer?"Who?"Husband's employer, where's he work"Oh, beeeayyyhhh"? Sorry, could you repeat that?"beeeayyhhhh"Okay, beeeayyhhh, can you spell that?"B A" Bee Ayy?"Naw, duh, V A Hospital!"Ohhh, okay.Work number?"Who?"His work number?"Who?"Your husband."Oh, I dontz know his badge number"No, his work PHONE number."Whats it fo?"Umm, the credit application we are in the middle of filling out. So, his work phone number?"to where he works?"Umm, yes. The beeaayyyhhh."oh, dontz know it"-----------------------------------------------------Ring a ding!Hello, Randy's work place."Yes, dis is monique and I botz a car off you in Febuary, did I gets a warranty wif it?"I don't remember. Did I discuss the warranty with you?"I dontz member"Sigh, did you look at your bookwork?"nah"Well, I always give you a copy of it along with instructions on how to get service."So do a gots it?"Again, I don't know. Where is your bookwork at? Is it in the car? "yeah"Okay, well why don't you get it and if you have any questions call me back."I thoughtz you could jus tell me"Sigh, well it will take a few minutes to dig up and I'm a little busy. Can I call you back in a couple hours?"Well I'd liksta know now. It's impotant. Cantsya jus tell me?Hang on, I'll try to dig it up. What's the last name?"beaaayhhh"IImagine that odds of that coming up twice in one morning? Umm, What kind of problem are you having? "Will it cover if somefin's worn out?"Well, that depends on IF you purchased a warranty, and what the problem might be. You could walk out to your car and get it and read it, (pause) but, what kind of problem are you having?"I gots a flat tire."(sound of my forehead plopping on the desk)

[Voldemort 0]

I'm betting on the guy who was in prison. I've seen a picture of Napa he looks like a gentle giant.Anyone here ever stayed at the Venetian? Thoughts on any of the restaurants there?

Stayed at Venetian several times and Palazzo this past summer.Delmonico is one of my favorite restaurants in Vegas. I know one of the head servers there. If interested, let me know and you can request him and prob get a few extras.Love Noodle Asia as well, good for lunch or quick bite.Ate at Pinot Brassiere a couple years back and was not impressed.Heard good things about AquaKnox but have only had drinks there.Palazzo is connected and CUT is amazing. This past summer had one of my alltime top 3 meals there. Will go everytime when in Vegas now.Also dined at Lavo (Italian) and loved it. Different type atmosphere, club music while dining, lounge type dining and tables all around. Food was really good.

[CaneBrain 95]

Stayed at Venetian several times and Palazzo this past summer.Delmonico is one of my favorite restaurants in Vegas. I know one of the head servers there. If interested, let me know and you can request him and prob get a few extras.Love Noodle Asia as well, good for lunch or quick bite.Ate at Pinot Brassiere a couple years back and was not impressed.Heard good things about AquaKnox but have only had drinks there.Palazzo is connected and CUT is amazing. This past summer had one of my alltime top 3 meals there. Will go everytime when in Vegas now.Also dined at Lavo (Italian) and loved it. Different type atmosphere, club music while dining, lounge type dining and tables all around. Food was really good.

thanks Vold. I know Noodle Asia well....but never eaten anywhere else in that complex. Lavo sounds really good....I would take you up on that Delmonico offer but I know my wife will not want to go to a steakhouse.

[Voldemort 0]

thanks Vold. I know Noodle Asia well....but never eaten anywhere else in that complex. Lavo sounds really good....I would take you up on that Delmonico offer but I know my wife will not want to go to a steakhouse.

Cool.Nosup4u and AcidKnight both recommended Lavo and Acid and his wife actually ended up going with us when we went. Good stuff.

[qyayqi 11]

Well, maybe not the best, but at least the "slightly better."

good plan. start small and work your way up. you don't want to hit him with a full story early and then next week try a "...." post. you have to have that progression.then propose, i guess.

[loogie 115]

Well, Napa is a former wrestler who gets into fights all the time, but Scram is a 300 pounder* with massive forearm strength. I feel like it'll be tough to put odds on this one.

They're both brawlers. Scram has a decided size advantage, but Napa is a proven champion. I don't know how to make odds, but Scram has to come in as the favorite. However, Napa has a reserve tank of rage that could turn the fight pretty quickly. Additionally, he's white, so Scram might have trouble motivating himself.

[Tactical Bear 3]

facebook status that i wish i had the balls to post: "man, I feel like I was supposed to remember something today but I guess I forgot."

I took this idea and ran with it. I'll give you a credit when the day is over. Also, I told The Rape Joke to a stand up comedian last night, and he asked me if he could use it in his act...

[speedz99 145]

They're both brawlers. Scram has a decided size advantage, but Napa is a proven champion. I don't know how to make odds, but Scram has to come in as the favorite. However, Napa has a reserve tank of rage that could turn the fight pretty quickly. Additionally, he's white, so Scram might have trouble motivating himself.

The question of who would have the rage advantage in this match-up is an interesting one. While scram certainly has a black spot on his heart that napa lacks, it's possible that napa's transformation into the hulk would overmatch scram's generic anger issues.

[speedz99 145]

Also, I told The Rape Joke to a stand up comedian last night, and he asked me if he could use it in his act...

I use that joke constantly...it always works on at least one person in any given group, which is one more than enough for me.

[ShakeZuma 585]

constantly? I mean how often does the subject of rape come up around you anyways?

[brvheart 1,752]

Serious question: is this a good tactic for the girl? Walking around in underwear is fun, but in a few weeks/months will you be desensitized to the sight of her in underwear and no longer find it distracting/exciting? Is it a better strategy to be less forthcoming with the nudity in order to keep it interesting for longer? Or is it always interesting?

I, for one, never get sick of the underwear thing. I also prefer that my special lady friend sleeps completely naked.

I saw the "new" fake tits of one of my wife's friends last night. The nipples were super weird but it definitely made Rosh Hashanah more interesting.

What. The. ****.

I am a moderate or something. I don't know. I make a big effort not to be biased and that probably does put me ahead of the masses.the original post bothers the shit out of me because, honestly, I am going back to mcdonalds soon. the sheer amount of embarrassment and disrespect involved in that work... it is not something I can handle. so many people in my HS class are still here, and being everyone's "man, at least I didn't turn out like HIM" on a daily basis... it's... there's just nothing on the horizon for me. I don't see a future.I'm just gonna stop writing because this post isn't going good places. I stopped eating yesterday and have started to get really emotionally unstable.

Dude. Why are you doing this to yourself? If you move to Iowa (come on Napa, you have enough room) I could get you a job at Wells Fargo making $15/hr within 10 days.

Strat, buddy, move out of your parents house. To a new place away from where you are. Please?

^^^

I, for one, think Scram should stick around. He usually brings out the best (read: a lazy copy edit before I submit a garbage post) in me. Well, maybe not the best, but at least the "slightly better." Maybe he'll help us keep things 'fresh.'

Concur.

[JubilantLankyLad 1,957]

I, for one, never get sick of the underwear thing. I also prefer that my special lady friend sleeps completely naked.

you christians are so weird - you want your special lady friend completely naked, but you insist that your wife wear that Laura Ingalls-like nightdress every night.

Dude. Why are you doing this to yourself? If you move to Iowa (come on Napa, you have enough room) I could get you a job at Wells Fargo making $15/hr within 10 days.

you forgot to add that $15/hr would make him quite a catch.

[brvheart 1,752]

Nice picture of my city that for September 11th:

Is this NYC? Or your current city? Sorry I'm not up on my skylines.

you christians are so weird - you want your special lady friend completely naked, but you insist that your wife wear that Laura Ingalls-like nightdress every night.

No comment.

you forgot to add that $15/hr would make him quite a catch.

It would be twice as much as McDonald's and at least it would be in the financial industry.

[Theraflu 1,035]

It would be twice as much as McDonald's and at least it would be in the financial industry.

Jubi was saying that making strat more attractive to the gentler sex is another good thing. I am unclear where strat actually falls on the matter though.

[brvheart 1,752]

Jubi was saying that making strat more attractive to the gentler sex is another good thing. I am unclear where strat actually falls on the matter though.

I felt like he was being a little sarcastic about that. Which I love, by the way.

[JubilantLankyLad 1,957]

I felt like he was being a little sarcastic about that. Which I love, by the way.

Well that's good. I was just saying that $15/hr would make Geoffrey look pretty good to the average Nebraskan (live like a king!), but maybe you did that on purpose - after all, mk did imply that strat would have none of that.

[LongLiveYorke 38]

Is this NYC? Or your current city? Sorry I'm not up on my skylines.

NYC. The lights are the memorial beams where the twin towers once stood. They shine them every year; it's pretty affecting. The weird glowy building in the back is the New York Times building. You can see the tip of the Empire State building a little left of the middle, and you can see the large spire of the Bank of America building about a quarter of the way to the left. I'm guessing the picture was taken from around Columbus Circle.

[El Guapo 8]

Who would win a fight between Scram and Napa? That's what I want to know.

Does Scram get a tire Iron?

I took this idea and ran with it. I'll give you a credit when the day is over. Also, I told The Rape Joke to a stand up comedian last night, and he asked me if he could use it in his act...

Go on...

[strategy 4]

Dude. Why are you doing this to yourself? If you move to Iowa (come on Napa, you have enough room) I could get you a job at Wells Fargo making $15/hr within 10 days.

well, now I just don't want to break the streak.

It would be twice as much as McDonald's and at least it would be in the financial industry.

doin' what?

[CaneBrain 95]

I hung out with Tara Reid today. She's......interesting.Not sure who the bigger trainwreck is: her or the Hurricanes offense.

[Tiltinagain 973]

well, now I just don't want to break the streak.doin' what?

marking the catch up spot.What else? Hmmm, nothing.Strat, if I ever need a teller, I'm gonna give you a call.

I hung out with Tara Reid today. She's......interesting.Not sure who the bigger trainwreck is: her or the Hurricanes offense.

You never really tire of bragging do you?

[Napa_Don 688]

I hate you all.

[CaneBrain 95]

You never really tire of bragging do you?

How could I not tell a story like that.And.....I'm not sure it's a brag. Could be interpreted as a beat let's be serious.

[strategy 4]

pretty sure they don't pay tellers $15/hour in places like iowa. california, maybe.

[speedz99 145]

constantly? I mean how often does the subject of rape come up around you anyways?

Pretty often, actually. Obviously it happens around my high school friends/softball team, but my female friends in vet school are also up for a good rape joke now and again. Interestingly, my guy vet school friends would not know what to do with a good rape joke. They're kind of naiive, or maybe just young, but they still giggle any time anything sexual is brought up in the presence of a vagina.

it's pretty affecting

I think you mean, affecting, right? Words!

I hung out with Tara Reid today. She's......interesting.

Well how does she look? Good or like the flesh is melting off her bones?