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I Called In Sick Today


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You know what beer is disgusting? Corona Light. If you ever drink one thinking it's a regular Corona you might puke. We have a 6 pack in the fridge here at work and I won't touch them.This weekend I had a bunch of Coronas, then finished off the work day with some Sierra Nevada Torpedos. They are an extra Pale Ale and about 7.6% alcohol. So they sorta do the trick. It's probably not a beer I could drink all the time because it's pretty bitter, but a couple here and there isn't bad.
Corona isn't very heavy to begin with, can't imagine how pissy the light is. I mentioned a couple years ago when I first saw the torpedos; they are delicious.I think beans has had a few adventures with them too. A 6 pack usually will take care of me for an evening. The magic hat H.I.P.A.'s are also capable of performing the task.Sierra has a new brown ale out called tumbler. Its kind of their oktoberfest and is pretty tasty. Only sierra I've had that isn't loaded up on hops. Still a good beer though.
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and after 3 days, he is risen!

If you are paying $20 for a haircut, I imagine people assume you did it yourself anyway.

Pocket change cost me my first and only black girlfriend.   It was in the middle of a roaring poker boom and I was flush in ways most men don't even bother dreaming of. Money, it was like dirt to me

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12 User(s) are reading this topic (4 Guests and 3 Anonymous Users)5 Members: JubilantLankyLad, SlapStick, Roll the Bones, mrdannyg, Ouch-8sShowoff
You should see Cane's wife!
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Corona isn't very heavy to begin with, can't imagine how pissy the light is. I mentioned a couple years ago when I first saw the torpedos; they are delicious.I think beans has had a few adventures with them too. A 6 pack usually will take care of me for an evening. The magic hat H.I.P.A.'s are also capable of performing the task.Sierra has a new brown ale out called tumbler. Its kind of their oktoberfest and is pretty tasty. Only sierra I've had that isn't loaded up on hops. Still a good beer though.
I actually hemmed and hawed between those too, but the tumbler looked heavy and it was still a pretty warm day. Figured I'd try it a little later in the year.
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No way she's less than $20. I mean, we've already established she's only with him for his money.We established that, right?
Pretty sure he established that.
I take issue with the word "only". That's like saying Guapo's wife is "only" with him for the Green Card when obviously his cooking and his willingness to forgo sex play a role. I don't know about Secret Santa. You guys already have a token Jew.Brv, I did not get the fantasy football email.
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Brian Mulroney? My parents live not too far from him. Only semi-disgraced. His son is host of Canadian Idol (additional disgrace factor).
Please say it is Nick who hosts Canadian Idol. Yeah, that's him they used to come down to Palm Beach in the winter and I played tennis and golf with Nick (who also went to my high school for a bit).
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I love Ocho (YES CANE I KNOW!).He is cracks me up on twitter. I wish the Bengals were coming to town because he holds a dinner for fans while on the road. He had one in Dallas I think during the preseason where the first 64 people who show up at the designated restaurant get food and drinks on him. He also invited like 50 people to a theater through twitter for a free movie because he was bored and wanted to see a movie with people. Liz is also a converted Bengals fan this year because she likes TO and Ocho.I loved this tweet the other day:OGOchoCincoDoes anyone know if i need gun powder to shoot the musket when i score this sunday? #justaskin
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oh cool, she appears to be The One. i'm looking forward to seeing what happens next.
My guess is they'll watch Jurassic Park on vhs, then Dirty Dancing, and then Gone With the Wind.
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oh cool, she appears to be The One. i'm looking forward to seeing what happens next.
My former "The One" got married to a guy so cuckolded that she cheated on him with me over a span of TEN YEARS. I mean, I know me. There ain't much there. Come on. What are the chances she's been even close to otherwise faithful? What's the over/under on number of other guys she's banged? 4.5? I won't be able to stop thinking about this for a while. Maybe I'll just start drinking again.
I cannot believe no one has commented on her nose yet.
Wait, what the fuck is wrong with Hot Jenny's nose?
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This Cracked article about the least sportsmanlike moments in MMA is hilarious.The actual content doesn't interest me, but the writing is great.Some examples:Fifteen seconds into the two great beasts' graceful dance, Tank grabbed Matua by his T-shirt and hit him with a right hand so hard that train accidents thought their father had finally come back home. Tank Abbott, with the class one would expect from central casting's idea of a prison movie extra, looked back at the body and mocked his seizure. Mocked his seizure. That's the kind of thing that makes Satan shuffle the papers on his desk and say, "Shit, I don't even think I have a form for that."<------------------------------------->I grew up being sort of nice to people, so I've never been clear on all the subtle transitive properties of gay insults. However, I'm almost sure that if you tell a person that they're gay and that they're your bitch, you're not coming out the end of that insult as a heterosexual yourself. Plus keep in mind that after his previous win against Jerry Bohlander, Tito wore a shirt that read "I just fucked your ass!" Which is weird, because that's not an idiom people use or some kind of clever play on words. I mean, I just fucked your ass... nothing has ever meant only one thing as hard as that.<------------------------------------->Anyway, as you can imagine, if your opponent's Plan A was poking your eyes out and they outlaw that, his backup plan is your balls. And oh my God was Gary Goodridge's backup plan your balls.The fight started without a hint of the groin damage to come. Within seconds of the starting bell, both fighters ended up on the mat for 10 impotent yet exhausting minutes. What happened next will certainly flag this article as inappropriate by your office's content filter, so at this point I'm just typing about balls to myself. Again.Gary was under The Pedro in butterfly guard and suddenly his entire offensive strategy centered around The Pedro's dong. Gary snaked his foot into his opponent's tiny trunks. He was wiggling his foot, sometimes feet around in there, switching between massages and attacks. Sometimes he was just trying to pull the trunks completely off, because at this point why not? Make no mistake, fight fans: Inside The Pedro's cup, a second and better championship bout was taking place between Penis and Foot. The crowd booed as Gary's toes wiggled out from under The Pedro's briefs which read "The Pedro" on the butt. It was a celebrity footjob that the executives at Tinactin wish they would have thought of first. This fight inspired a torta shop in The Pedro's home town of Rio de Janeiro to name a sandwich after him. It's a hot dog and a human foot served in a salty cup. Sorry.Like all romances, the love affair between Gary's foot and The Pedro's balls ended badly. After they stood up, Gary threw a blatant field goal kick into The Pedro's crotch like a rape victim in a self-defense book. Then he reached into The Pedro's trunks and used his battered dong as a handle to throw him to the ground. And it didn't stop. Ever. Gary punched it. He squeezed it. He told the cops it fell down the stairs. Within five minutes, Gary Goodridge was finding more uses for a human dick than I did during two years of puberty. And I grew up on a farm.
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Hey Randy, here is your chance to make $1K for your awesome cooking skills!OGOchoCinco: Anybody in the Cincy area that wants to make an extra thousand dollars, i need a home cooked meal 2 night, chicken,yams,greens,macncheese

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See, Jubi, that's why nobody said anything.
Guys, come on. I seriously want to know what the ****'s wrong with her nose. Just tell me. Be honest. I promise I won't be mad or anything.
This Cracked article about the least sportsmanlike moments in MMA is hilarious.The actual content doesn't interest me, but the writing is great.Some examples:Fifteen seconds into the two great beasts' graceful dance, Tank grabbed Matua by his T-shirt and hit him with a right hand so hard that train accidents thought their father had finally come back home. Tank Abbott, with the class one would expect from central casting's idea of a prison movie extra, looked back at the body and mocked his seizure. Mocked his seizure. That's the kind of thing that makes Satan shuffle the papers on his desk and say, "Shit, I don't even think I have a form for that."<------------------------------------->I grew up being sort of nice to people, so I've never been clear on all the subtle transitive properties of gay insults. However, I'm almost sure that if you tell a person that they're gay and that they're your bitch, you're not coming out the end of that insult as a heterosexual yourself. Plus keep in mind that after his previous win against Jerry Bohlander, Tito wore a shirt that read "I just fucked your ass!" Which is weird, because that's not an idiom people use or some kind of clever play on words. I mean, I just fucked your ass... nothing has ever meant only one thing as hard as that.<------------------------------------->Anyway, as you can imagine, if your opponent's Plan A was poking your eyes out and they outlaw that, his backup plan is your balls. And oh my God was Gary Goodridge's backup plan your balls.The fight started without a hint of the groin damage to come. Within seconds of the starting bell, both fighters ended up on the mat for 10 impotent yet exhausting minutes. What happened next will certainly flag this article as inappropriate by your office's content filter, so at this point I'm just typing about balls to myself. Again.Gary was under The Pedro in butterfly guard and suddenly his entire offensive strategy centered around The Pedro's dong. Gary snaked his foot into his opponent's tiny trunks. He was wiggling his foot, sometimes feet around in there, switching between massages and attacks. Sometimes he was just trying to pull the trunks completely off, because at this point why not? Make no mistake, fight fans: Inside The Pedro's cup, a second and better championship bout was taking place between Penis and Foot. The crowd booed as Gary's toes wiggled out from under The Pedro's briefs which read "The Pedro" on the butt. It was a celebrity footjob that the executives at Tinactin wish they would have thought of first. This fight inspired a torta shop in The Pedro's home town of Rio de Janeiro to name a sandwich after him. It's a hot dog and a human foot served in a salty cup. Sorry.Like all romances, the love affair between Gary's foot and The Pedro's balls ended badly. After they stood up, Gary threw a blatant field goal kick into The Pedro's crotch like a rape victim in a self-defense book. Then he reached into The Pedro's trunks and used his battered dong as a handle to throw him to the ground. And it didn't stop. Ever. Gary punched it. He squeezed it. He told the cops it fell down the stairs. Within five minutes, Gary Goodridge was finding more uses for a human dick than I did during two years of puberty. And I grew up on a farm.
I love when people post things about Cracked, because that's the only time I ever go there, and I love it. I click around for hours. The writing is just so phenomenally and intimidatingly good.EDIT: How long did it take you to find all the swears and bypass the filter? Did you get them all in one go or did you miss one and have to go back and "USE FULL EDITOR?"
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I love when people post things about Cracked, because that's the only time I ever go there, and I love it. I click around for hours. The writing is just so phenomenally and intimidatingly good.
I haven't read everything by Seanbaby yet, but invariably when I really like something I'm reading, it's one of his.Edit Re Edit: There were only two fucks that needed to be bypassed.
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Please say it is Nick who hosts Canadian Idol. Yeah, that's him they used to come down to Palm Beach in the winter and I played tennis and golf with Nick (who also went to my high school for a bit).
Ben
My guess is they'll watch Jurassic Park on vhs, then Dirty Dancing, and then Gone With the Wind.
I guess I don't get this.
See, Jubi, that's why nobody said anything.
I'm a little rusty.
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