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I Called In Sick Today


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and after 3 days, he is risen!

If you are paying $20 for a haircut, I imagine people assume you did it yourself anyway.

Pocket change cost me my first and only black girlfriend.   It was in the middle of a roaring poker boom and I was flush in ways most men don't even bother dreaming of. Money, it was like dirt to me

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Ha! And look at those hairs on the back of his head. Completely out of place! And, what, a tuxedo on his wedding day? How incredibly cliche. And what's he doing with his hands? It looks like he's about to dunk her underwater to something. Hey, you tuxedo'd Alfalfa, turn down the Bon Jovi records and shut the f up!Ya know?
He was once referred to, by her, as the lite version of me. So let's be a little careful making fun, lest it hits too close to home.
Is that the same person?
What is it with you guys?
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I am shocked at how much this has affected me. Part of it is, I thought about this girl nonstop from 14-19. The other part is, she cheated on this guy nonstop from 15-19. Weird. I have decided, just now, to avoid Jenny until Friday or Saturday. I need some Me Time.

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...
I guess speedz is jerry? even steven!
The first (and maybe only) woman I ever loved:
oh wang, hold your head up! tomorrow's a new day! there are plenty of fish in the sea! take one day at a time! keep your nose to the grindstone! buy low sell high!
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speeeeeeeeedz <3thanks for the jokes. i like the big monologue combining a bunch of dudes into one. i'll tweak it to be a little more personal, but i'm definitely gonna use that.and here is payment for your services, an adorable pic of meg's best friend's new baby with one of the greatest cats i've ever met:lilbobbynkitty.jpg

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me2: I'm in enough leagues as it is plus I can't do Saturdaysomeone: HE was in the sick league?napa: yea. I was thereme2: my thoughts are I can't figure out who you took with your 2nd and 3rd pickme3: (schaub or hines ward) and charles. duh.me2: I just meant I didn't like any of the possible 2nd and 3rd choicesnapa: yikesbrv: yes
I'm not sure how but I'm pretty sure you're making fun of my lack of draft skills. And after I gave you a review on a GFG. Ya I had the 2nd pick took CJ, JC, MS, HW, SM, AG. I admit I don't know anything about football or FF and so I used the sheet from footballoutsiders and mostly followed that. All the elite QBs and WRs and RBs I guess were taken pretty quickly and so I just went with what the sheet said was good value. Fml. I thought my team was pretty decent. I know I'll be continuously let down by HW and SM but if they perform at like 80% efficiency compared to my other options I hope it'll work. Fml. I need to stop gambling.
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I'm not sure how but I'm pretty sure you're making fun of my lack of draft skills. And after I gave you a review on a GFG. Ya I had the 2nd pick took CJ, JC, MS, HW, SM, AG. I admit I don't know anything about football or FF and so I used the sheet from footballoutsiders and mostly followed that. All the elite QBs and WRs and RBs I guess were taken pretty quickly and so I just went with what the sheet said was good value. Fml. I thought my team was pretty decent. I know I'll be continuously let down by HW and SM but if they perform at like 80% efficiency compared to my other options I hope it'll work. Fml. I need to stop gambling.
Fantasy football is stupid and based 90% on luck.its only massively popular because its simple. So simple, in fact, that women can actively participate in it. Don't feel bad if your team sucks; over 90% of teams don't win to begin with.
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Fantasy football is stupid and based 90% on luck.its only massively popular because its simple. So simple, in fact, that women can actively participate in it. Don't feel bad if your team sucks; over 90% of teams don't win to begin with.
Theraflu always has my back. It's a good thing I didn't say I feel like my team is the fantasy football equivalent of this years Celtics!
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Had to post these obvy
Been to Nicks a couple of times now. Sub and BBQ Stromboli and PBR FTW.
Discuss:
Carls, Hardees, Sonic, A&W and Checkers are dog meat.Haven't had a 5 Guy ( we do their gift cards), Burgerville or Backyard.Fuddruckers was always a fav. One of my WORST investment fiasco's ever.
You guys are nuts. You've obviously never been drunk and hungry at 3AM.
I think a lot of people in your pool are going to take Michigan, even though they're 4 point dogs. I'd take ND there.
Name the defending World Series champs the last time ND and Michigan played and neither was ranked top 25.
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aaaalso, you'd be happy to know that both my projects have been successfully completed (outlet and water line) without anyone dying OR losing a limb. at least one of them was illegal for me to do it, no? water line has to be done by a licensed guy right? hope so. makes it more awesome.
Nah, its perfectly legal for the homeowner to do his own stuff...You can even pull your own plumbing permit at the city for a new home if ya want. I did a brisk bidness back in the day prefabbing complete roughins and shipping them across the country for doityerselfers. I finally got tired of dealing with hippies and yanked the ad in Mother Earth News or whatever that rag wasSorta related but uninteresting side story...Many moons ago I landed a very profitable gig doing some long gone Mexican joints across the country. I only had Shane as an employee, so I was basically by myself doing the work of a ten man crew doing jobs about five hundred miles apart. Each rough in of two restrooms and assorted kitchen equipment paid twelve grand and usually took a large crew a week to doI laid out the slab on a hangar floor at the airport with strings and chalk line and plumbed the entire restaurant according to the plans right on the floor. I used wood blocks under the pipe to allow for fall and such, the broke the system down in twenty foot pieces that would fit on the trailer. Once at the job site, I marked the ditches out with paint, dug them with a backhoe, and glued the sections back together in about three hours...Of course, the job superintendent was a complete ******* and didnt like the idea that some kid from Arkansas was rolling in and making twelve grand all by himself in a few hours, so he dealt misery through the entire project. It got so bad that I started setting up lights and doing them at night or on weekends. I spent Thanksgiving day doing one, which was nice if you recall my wifes cooking skillsWhat were we talking about?
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Oh yeah...As far as the food stuff goes, In-n-Out is the tops in my bookIts the only fast food junk Ive eaten since Jan the seventh.... Im currently eating a bowl of oatmeal with bananas and crushed flaxseed mixed inThe location near the Sacramento airport in Guapoland included a large handfull of stickers with my purchase and an older guy who cleans the lobby and mops the floor in Kingman, AZ farted by our table a few weeks ago. His name is Archie in case you need to know....Ill never forget that nameBest place to enjoy the food is the LAX oneIm rambling-RMex

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I'm not sure how but I'm pretty sure you're making fun of my lack of draft skills. And after I gave you a review on a GFG. Ya I had the 2nd pick took CJ, JC, MS, HW, SM, AG. I admit I don't know anything about football or FF and so I used the sheet from footballoutsiders and mostly followed that. All the elite QBs and WRs and RBs I guess were taken pretty quickly and so I just went with what the sheet said was good value. Fml. I thought my team was pretty decent. I know I'll be continuously let down by HW and SM but if they perform at like 80% efficiency compared to my other options I hope it'll work. Fml. I need to stop gambling.
me2: I blame my stream of consciousness. Also, I did end up getting a grill. thank you.napa: which one?me2: the one my friends didn't use anymoreHow often do we actually go back to check and see whose opinions were correct about each other's teams prior to the season after the season? (El G: How often do I have to read that sentence to understand it?) I think both Hines and Santana are highly variable in what they can do this year (types I usually avoid). If they hit you're golden. If not then well. yes. Wait for someone's RB to get hurt and trade one of your extras.
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Your wife is a whore.
I think she's the most attractive woman you've posted a picture of.
He was once referred to, by her, as the lite version of me. So let's be a little careful making fun, lest it hits too close to home. What is it with you guys?
Ha
Name the defending World Series champs the last time ND and Michigan played and neither was ranked top 25.
Yankees.I mean, I have no idea, but that's the best guess, right?
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I am shocked at how much this has affected me. Part of it is, I thought about this girl nonstop from 14-19. The other part is, she cheated on this guy nonstop from 15-19. Weird. I have decided, just now, to avoid Jenny until Friday or Saturday. I need some Me Time.
I could see her giving a ninja a boner. I don't know why her whorishness would make it affect you more......unless you feel guilty for not telling this guy she is a giant cheater.....and that doesn't make much sense.Brv, I am lazy don't have the expectation that I will do stuff.....except pay my debts quickly----Wang want to place a friendly wager on the Sickie FFL league? Still pissed about last year's championship game.
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So I get a call on Friday night a few minutes before 1AM:Wang: "Ahoy-hoy?"Voice: [barely audible over the background noise] "Wang?"Wang: "Yeah? Speaking. Who is this?"Voice: "Dude, it's [bartender from the bar to which Wang's poker room is attached] Brian [inaudible] work. You gotta [inaudible] here [inaudible] and pronto."Wang: "Hey, Brian. I can... I can barely hear you, man. What's up?"Brian: "Gimme a sec."[in the background, Brian is telling someone to cover the bar. He is encountering resistance, it seems, and at one point raises his voice.]Brian: [one minute later] "Sorry we're slammed, man. Just stepped out back. You gotta get up here, man. Right now."Wang: "Shit, is something going on in the room? What happened?"Brian: "No, dude, it's... put on your favorite shirt and get up here. There's this chick asking for. She just asked if you were around. I know it's your night off, but I told her to hold on, you were actually just on your way up."Wang: "Wait... what? What's her name? You sure she's asking for me?"Brian: "Yeah. You. She mentioned the poker-room specifically."Wang: "What's her name?"Brian: "I don't know, man. I didn't get it. Longish dark hair. Tallish. She just walked in about 5 minutes ago. She's with two older chicks -- like mid-thirties, early-forties -- who don't look like they want to be here."Wang: "Weird."Brian: "You coming up here or not?"Wang: "I don't know, it's kinda late and I have absolutely no earthly idea what's going on rig-"Brian: "Come. Up. Here. Now. If you don't I'll kill you."Wang: [shrugs, even though nobody can see him because he's alone in his room on a telephone] "Alright. Be there in 15."So I'm intrigued as fuck right now. Some girl who doesn't have my number is at a bar looking for me, asking for me, and Brian's instinct was to lie to her and immediately summon me. So I tossed on a pair of jeans and a sweater and wandered up there. I got to the bar around 1:00, and ran into Mike, an old friend of mine whom I hadn't seen in years, standing out front, smoking with a few kids with whom I graduated. We're chatting, and a girl I know from Retard University walks out. I saw her up at the bar a few times in May, and despite the fact that we'd had maybe one-and-a-half conversations and said about 30 words to each other on campus over the last two years -- "Hey, you're in my Stats class, right? Have you done the homework yet? How do you do the last one?" "Jennifer, right? Yeah, I haven't done it yet. I'd help you out, but I really have to run. Got a lunch thing. I'll be up here running a study group tomorrow, though, so if you want someone to walk you through it..." -- we would chat for a few moments whenever I ran into her at work. I'm friendly with Beth and Sarah, two of her girlfriends -- sit near each other in class; work together for group projects; goof around in the computer lab before or after class; ask for advice regarding, and tell funny stories about, my love life -- but I didn't have anything remotely approaching that kind of relationship with her. When I was hanging out with her Hot Friends, Jennifer never really joined in. I just assumed she disliked me because of the way I behave in class (like: an asshole), but when I saw her in May, she was friendly and cool. I hadn't seen her since then.So, anyway, out walks Jennifer, and as I'm giving her a polite little wave, she walks up gives me an enthusiastic greeting. Wang: "Hey there, Jennihana. What's up?"Jennifer: "Got off work and came up here with a few of the waitresses to have a few and relax, but we're about ready to leave. For some reason they hate it up here, but I made them come. What're you up to? I thought you worked Fridays?"Wang: ("Holy crap, Jenny? No way JENNY was the girl looking for me. Noooooo waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay. Okay. Be cool. You're cool. You're a cool guy. Even though it's kind of warm for a sweater, you're still a pretty cool guy, just hanging out, being cool, being the cool guy that people like to be around, because: he's the guy where cool stuff happens. Cooooooool.")Wang: "Ah, sometimes. I had something to do earlier, so I took the night off." Jennifer: "Yeah, I asked one of the waitresses and that's what she said, then the bartender mentioned you were on your way up, so I made Jackie and Vera stick around until you showed up so I could say hi. Hi!"[As if on cue, two slightly heavyset women in their early 30s walk out.]Jennifer: "Speak of the devils." [brief introductions, small talk.]Vera: [to Jennifer] "Ready to go?"Jennifer: [to Vera] "Uh... yup. Sure sure."[Vera and Jackie start towards the parking lot]Jennifer: [to me] "Anyway.... good to see ya..."Wang: "Ah, you're leaving? I really wanted to buy you a drink."Jennifer: "Vera's my ride, so...."Wang: "You sure? Come on, stick around. I'll make sure you get home. If you need character references, ask any of the waitresses. Except Ellie, Angie, or Tina. Or Laura. Or anyone behind the bar."Jenny capitulated almost immediately, and we went inside and had a drink. The next morning I woke up at her place, and had a new, Most Physically Attractive Woman Who Has Voluntary Disrobed in My Presence Woman:IMustLookLikeHerDadorSomething.jpgFor some reason, this girl sought me out where I worked so she would have an excuse to run into me and hang out. And invited me to her place. And let me take her to breakfast the next morning. And came up and saw me at work after her shift last night. And agreed to go out with me tomorrow. And is, as far as I can tell, single and normal. HasPhysicallyUnattractiveFather.jpgSo yeah. I'm bragging about it. I'm pretty sure, based purely on looks, I'm never going to do even half this good again. Fuck. Yes.EDIT: Oh ****. I just realized this girl kinda looks like Maggie. I hope I'm not that weird...
oh cool, she appears to be The One. i'm looking forward to seeing what happens next.
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yeah I asked an electrician that works here and he said basically the same thing (I think, I don't really know what all that stuff means).since I obviously don't have the ground plug in there now, would there be any safety difference if I install the outlet with the ground hole just not hooked up, or will it just be the same as I have now?
well, one difference will be you won't have to break off the third thingy to use those items. that's always handy.
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