SBriand 4 Posted August 29, 2010 Share Posted August 29, 2010 I have a cat and she loves cuddling with new people so you are welcome here. I will leave and stay somewhere else. I think you would like my wife. Link to post Share on other sites
ShakeZuma 585 Posted August 29, 2010 Share Posted August 29, 2010 lg: boning her way across america. Link to post Share on other sites
speedz99 145 Posted August 30, 2010 Share Posted August 30, 2010 Hey guys, this is my friend Joanna. She just graduated from college (she calls it "university"), so she's touring the country for a bit.Hahahaha.21 or 22. Wait, how old are you, LG?On the Internet.Wait, where are you guys going?So...should we just go back and play with the cats? Link to post Share on other sites
runthemover 39 Posted August 30, 2010 Share Posted August 30, 2010 ...wait...His name is Geoffrey?only when we want to spoil some secrets Link to post Share on other sites
LadyGrey 6 Posted August 30, 2010 Share Posted August 30, 2010 Wow some of y'all actually offered, some apparantly seriously; that is touching. In all honesty I only would have seriously considered an offer from shake, loogie or cheeto. For various reasons I really should go home next week. Maybe next year when I've saved up some money again I'll come back out to the US and burden one of you. Whoever said "boning her way across America"... I can't argue with that. Link to post Share on other sites
Sickinfo2 291 Posted August 30, 2010 Share Posted August 30, 2010 Beans?Nah...Im a practical joker by nature but draw the line at stuff like that......just dont dare me to scare you behind the wheel or yoke, though21 or 22. Wait, how old are you, LG?play with the cats?Hopefully one or the other...Since shes my protege and all, I feel that I should have first dibs at the opportunity Unfortunately, though, all I can offer is an all-drinks inclusive getaway to the Memphis/Tunica area during the middle of next week. I have to take the bird to Little Rock for its annual checkup, so Ill be borrowing a courtesy car and boozing both Beale Street and the twenty one tables at the casinos for two days straight...Just think...:low paid B-movie actor Alan Thicke walking on beach in Tahiti:"High rolling gambling action!":women in bikinis playing in surf: "Rock star treatment!":Gene Simmons exits limo waving:"Yes, you could be one of the "elite" few who are fortunate enough to party with the one and only....":montage of party goers like Paris Hilton doing coke, Vince Neil driving drunk, Dave Letterman sitting on couch watching the Stooges, and ShakeZuma installing an air conditioner while Beans makes fun of his dog pen:"....BEANS-N-ICEWATER!":split-second shot of Beans check raising an eighty four year old man for eight bucks at Sams Town:"Phone lines are open....make the call....NOW!"In other news, Ive been in the middle of a newly developing story but the conclusion to the previous one is coming soon:teaser pic from last installment: Link to post Share on other sites
Sickinfo2 291 Posted August 30, 2010 Share Posted August 30, 2010 shake, loogie or cheetoouch Link to post Share on other sites
runthemover 39 Posted August 30, 2010 Share Posted August 30, 2010 she said america not jr Link to post Share on other sites
LadyGrey 6 Posted August 30, 2010 Share Posted August 30, 2010 Oh I didn't mean anything personal when I said loogie and shake. They just both happen to live in places I particularly want to visit someday (Virginia and Hotlanta). Also I would feel weird about staying with anyone that isn't single. Link to post Share on other sites
Tactical Bear 3 Posted August 30, 2010 Share Posted August 30, 2010 So I get a call on Friday night a few minutes before 1AM:Wang: "Ahoy-hoy?"Voice: [barely audible over the background noise] "Wang?"Wang: "Yeah? Speaking. Who is this?"Voice: "Dude, it's [bartender from the bar to which Wang's poker room is attached] Brian [inaudible] work. You gotta [inaudible] here [inaudible] and pronto."Wang: "Hey, Brian. I can... I can barely hear you, man. What's up?"Brian: "Gimme a sec."[in the background, Brian is telling someone to cover the bar. He is encountering resistance, it seems, and at one point raises his voice.]Brian: [one minute later] "Sorry we're slammed, man. Just stepped out back. You gotta get up here, man. Right now."Wang: "Shit, is something going on in the room? What happened?"Brian: "No, dude, it's... put on your favorite shirt and get up here. There's this chick asking for. She just asked if you were around. I know it's your night off, but I told her to hold on, you were actually just on your way up."Wang: "Wait... what? What's her name? You sure she's asking for me?"Brian: "Yeah. You. She mentioned the poker-room specifically."Wang: "What's her name?"Brian: "I don't know, man. I didn't get it. Longish dark hair. Tallish. She just walked in about 5 minutes ago. She's with two older chicks -- like mid-thirties, early-forties -- who don't look like they want to be here."Wang: "Weird."Brian: "You coming up here or not?"Wang: "I don't know, it's kinda late and I have absolutely no earthly idea what's going on rig-"Brian: "Come. Up. Here. Now. If you don't I'll kill you."Wang: [shrugs, even though nobody can see him because he's alone in his room on a telephone] "Alright. Be there in 15."So I'm intrigued as fuck right now. Some girl who doesn't have my number is at a bar looking for me, asking for me, and Brian's instinct was to lie to her and immediately summon me. So I tossed on a pair of jeans and a sweater and wandered up there. I got to the bar around 1:00, and ran into Mike, an old friend of mine whom I hadn't seen in years, standing out front, smoking with a few kids with whom I graduated. We're chatting, and a girl I know from Retard University walks out. I saw her up at the bar a few times in May, and despite the fact that we'd had maybe one-and-a-half conversations and said about 30 words to each other on campus over the last two years -- "Hey, you're in my Stats class, right? Have you done the homework yet? How do you do the last one?" "Jennifer, right? Yeah, I haven't done it yet. I'd help you out, but I really have to run. Got a lunch thing. I'll be up here running a study group tomorrow, though, so if you want someone to walk you through it..." -- we would chat for a few moments whenever I ran into her at work. I'm friendly with Beth and Sarah, two of her girlfriends -- sit near each other in class; work together for group projects; goof around in the computer lab before or after class; ask for advice regarding, and tell funny stories about, my love life -- but I didn't have anything remotely approaching that kind of relationship with her. When I was hanging out with her Hot Friends, Jennifer never really joined in. I just assumed she disliked me because of the way I behave in class (like: an asshole), but when I saw her in May, she was friendly and cool. I hadn't seen her since then.So, anyway, out walks Jennifer, and as I'm giving her a polite little wave, she walks up gives me an enthusiastic greeting. Wang: "Hey there, Jennihana. What's up?"Jennifer: "Got off work and came up here with a few of the waitresses to have a few and relax, but we're about ready to leave. For some reason they hate it up here, but I made them come. What're you up to? I thought you worked Fridays?"Wang: ("Holy crap, Jenny? No way JENNY was the girl looking for me. Noooooo waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay. Okay. Be cool. You're cool. You're a cool guy. Even though it's kind of warm for a sweater, you're still a pretty cool guy, just hanging out, being cool, being the cool guy that people like to be around, because: he's the guy where cool stuff happens. Cooooooool.")Wang: "Ah, sometimes. I had something to do earlier, so I took the night off." Jennifer: "Yeah, I asked one of the waitresses and that's what she said, then the bartender mentioned you were on your way up, so I made Jackie and Vera stick around until you showed up so I could say hi. Hi!"[As if on cue, two slightly heavyset women in their early 30s walk out.]Jennifer: "Speak of the devils." [brief introductions, small talk.]Vera: [to Jennifer] "Ready to go?"Jennifer: [to Vera] "Uh... yup. Sure sure."[Vera and Jackie start towards the parking lot]Jennifer: [to me] "Anyway.... good to see ya..."Wang: "Ah, you're leaving? I really wanted to buy you a drink."Jennifer: "Vera's my ride, so...."Wang: "You sure? Come on, stick around. I'll make sure you get home. If you need character references, ask any of the waitresses. Except Ellie, Angie, or Tina. Or Laura. Or anyone behind the bar."Jenny capitulated almost immediately, and we went inside and had a drink. The next morning I woke up at her place, and had a new, Most Physically Attractive Woman Who Has Voluntary Disrobed in My Presence Woman:For some reason, this girl sought me out where I worked so she would have an excuse to run into me and hang out. And invited me to her place. And let me take her to breakfast the next morning. And came up and saw me at work after her shift last night. And agreed to go out with me tomorrow. And is, as far as I can tell, single and normal. So yeah. I'm bragging about it. I'm pretty sure, based purely on looks, I'm never going to do even half this good again. Fuck. Yes.EDIT: Oh ****. I just realized this girl kinda looks like Maggie. I hope I'm not that weird... Link to post Share on other sites
strategy 4 Posted August 30, 2010 Share Posted August 30, 2010 she's got a pretty serious bend to her. that's not a good sign if you're looking to avoid the bone structure problems you had with one of the previous models. Link to post Share on other sites
Tactical Bear 3 Posted August 30, 2010 Share Posted August 30, 2010 she's got a pretty serious bend to her. that's not a good sign if you're looking to avoid the bone structure problems you had with one of the previous models.Funny story: Mike, the old friend I was smoking with, and I were trying to figure out if we'd ever slept with any of the same chicks. We had only just, with proper embarrassment both of us, realized we slept with Crazy Nikki when Jenni walked out. Link to post Share on other sites
Tactical Bear 3 Posted August 30, 2010 Share Posted August 30, 2010 I'm the party star.I've got my own car.I never get caught.I make football bets.I'm the teacher's pet. Link to post Share on other sites
strategy 4 Posted August 30, 2010 Share Posted August 30, 2010 Funny story: Mike, the old friend I was smoking with, and I were trying to figure out if we'd ever slept with any of the same chicks. We had only just, with proper embarrassment both of us, realized we slept with Crazy Nikki when Jenni walked out.I can't believe your area [points to some region on the michigan mitten gesture] apparently has so many acceptable looking females. presumably you are near some school and all, but there's a community college in leavenworth/KCK that has none of that.our lives are so absurdly different. I hope you recognize the STUPIDLY LARGE gap that exists between you and I. I haven't been to a social gathering since LG left in may 2009. Link to post Share on other sites
ShakeZuma 585 Posted August 30, 2010 Share Posted August 30, 2010 Oh I didn't mean anything personal when I said loogie and shake. They just both happen to live in places I particularly want to visit someday (Virginia and Hotlanta). Also I would feel weird about staying with anyone that isn't single.plus, you know, the boning.you'd probably want to come to virginia in the fall. it'd be the best time for hiking and touristy stuff like that. not sure what there is in va you'd want to see though. historical crap? monticello is pretty neat I guess. Link to post Share on other sites
strategy 4 Posted August 30, 2010 Share Posted August 30, 2010 plus, you know, the boning.you'd probably want to come to virginia in the fall. it'd be the best time for hiking and touristy stuff like that. not sure what there is in va you'd want to see though. historical crap? monticello is pretty neat I guess.heard some pretty nasty interracial stuff used to go down at that joint. NO THANKS. Link to post Share on other sites
ShakeZuma 585 Posted August 30, 2010 Share Posted August 30, 2010 hey beans, I'm gonna try to replace a couple electrical outlets in my house, but the one's that are currently there are just the 2 prong but I'd like to the 2 prong with the third thingy. is that possible? Link to post Share on other sites
speedz99 145 Posted August 30, 2010 Share Posted August 30, 2010 Oh I didn't mean anything personal when I said loogie and shake. They just both happen to live in places I particularly want to visit someday (Virginia and Hotlanta). Also I would feel weird about staying with anyone that isn't single.As if there's any reason to visit Virginia other than Shake himself. Be cool. You're cool. You're a cool guy. Even though it's kind of warm for a sweater, you're still a pretty cool guy.This is great...I love inner monologue pep talks.For some reason, this girl sought me out where I worked so she would have an excuse to run into me and hang out. And invited me to her place. And let me take her to breakfast the next morning. And came up and saw me at work after her shift last night. And agreed to go out with me tomorrow. And is, as far as I can tell, single and normal.Well, normal except for the whole seeking you out for a bang thing. But apparently you're pretty irresistable though, so who am I to judge? I should be taking lessons from you or something.Wow.EDIT: Oh ****. I just realized this girl kinda looks like Maggie. I hope I'm not that weird...Nah, it's normal to try and find comparisons between conquests/girlfriend/etc. heard some pretty nasty interracial stuff used to go down at that joint. NO THANKS.Ha. Link to post Share on other sites
speedz99 145 Posted August 30, 2010 Share Posted August 30, 2010 A moment from the bachelor party this past weekend:After doing their thing, the two strippers and their handler told us it was last call.Buddy: Are you ready to do some mud wrestling?Simultanously: No. No. Five hundred! Link to post Share on other sites
LongLiveYorke 38 Posted August 30, 2010 Share Posted August 30, 2010 I'm gonna try to replace a couple electrical outlets in my house, but the one's that are currently there are just the 2 prong but I'd like to the 2 prong with the third thingy. is that possible?I hate to jump to conclusions, but your calling it "the third thingy" makes me think that you should probably get a professional if you're going to play with electrical outlets. Unless you're some sort of electrical savant, like this Slippery Pete from Seinfeld. Link to post Share on other sites
Quacktastic 106 Posted August 30, 2010 Share Posted August 30, 2010 Shimmering Wang: Master of boning girls who can look like completely different people from one picture to the next. Link to post Share on other sites
LongLiveYorke 38 Posted August 30, 2010 Share Posted August 30, 2010 Shimmering Wang: Master of boning girls who can look like completely different people from one picture to the next.George: She's a Two-FaceJerry: You mean like the Batman villain!?!George: (sigh) If that helps... Link to post Share on other sites
Sickinfo2 291 Posted August 30, 2010 Share Posted August 30, 2010 Also I would feel weird about staying with anyone that isn't single.We really are the opposites of the army thread....Wang: "Ahoy-hoy?"I hope I'm not that weird...nah...hey beans, I'm gonna try to replace a couple electrical outlets in my house, but the one's that are currently there are just the 2 prong but I'd like to the 2 prong with the third thingy. is that possible?Whether it actually serves any safety purpose or not depends on if there is a bare ground wire inside the box or not...The third prong is connected to it and leads back to the panel, connecting to the grounding bus bar along with the white neutral wires from the silver screws on the side of the plug.If you dont have the bare ground wires, you can still use the modern post civil war style plugs... just install them the same way as the others. I can show you how to make the third prong functional by using a jumper to the white neutral wire to the green grounding wire. They both bond to the same bus back at the panel, so technically it will work just the same. Let me know Link to post Share on other sites
ShakeZuma 585 Posted August 30, 2010 Share Posted August 30, 2010 yeah I asked an electrician that works here and he said basically the same thing (I think, I don't really know what all that stuff means).since I obviously don't have the ground plug in there now, would there be any safety difference if I install the outlet with the ground hole just not hooked up, or will it just be the same as I have now? Link to post Share on other sites
JoeyJoJo 18 Posted August 30, 2010 Share Posted August 30, 2010 Wow some of y'all actually offered.Yeah, that was my reaction as well. Wait, I mean.....no I guess that was what I meant.Brian: "Come. Up. Here. Now. If you don't I'll kill you."Wang: [shrugs, even though nobody can see him because he's alone in his room on a telephone] "Alright. Be there in 15."I was pretty excited to see how this was going to turn out. Wang: Okay. Be cool. You're cool. You're a cool guy. Even though it's kind of warm for a sweater, you're still a pretty cool guy.This part cracked me right the fuck up. Link to post Share on other sites
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