I Called In Sick Today

[strategy 4]

you find your wife's divorce file. what do you do?

[LongLiveYorke 38]

Cute animal movie:

[JoeyJoJo 18]

I agree with Yorke. I would replace everything on the drive with cute animal movies.

[LongLiveYorke 38]

I agree with Yorke. I would replace everything on the drive with cute animal movies.

Your honor, I present to you as exhibit A clear evidence of my husband talking to me in an abusive way:...uh.... the prosecution rests.

[speedz99 145]

"He doesn't know about the seashells??? Hahaha! What a primitive man! He's been frozen for a hundred years and we are totally oblivious to the idea that things change over time and things would seem different to him! Hahaha!"

I don't know, I was pretty amused when I was working in an apartment complex and the maintenance guys (on a call for a clogged toilet) found that a group of Indian guys that had recently moved to the country into a furnished apartment had been wiping their asses with towels (instead of the provided toilet paper), reusing them until they were saturated with shit, and then tried to flush them. I mean, I wouldn't have laughed in their faces about it, but I'm not an asshole like that. Most people are.

Are you really going with the "it's an honest portrayal" defense?

Are you really going with the "it's an dishonest portrayal" attack?

Heh.

[JoeyJoJo 18]

Heh.

You shove your "heh's" in a sack, mister!I don't hate a lot of movies, but when I do hate one I can get pretty irrational about my hatred of it.I still think it's super retarded, but what can you do, you know?

[loogie 115]

I still think it's super retarded, but what can you do, you know?

Easy, buddy. My parents are super retarded.

[speedz99 145]

I knew it!

[Theraflu 1,035]

ACL reconstruction and suturing of my meniscus on September 16th. Boom.

[speedz99 145]

Just rub some dirt on it, you fucking pussy.

[ShakeZuma 585]

man I aaaaalmost just bought a surfboard. that would have been the coolest thing ever.

[Theraflu 1,035]

Just rub some dirt on it, you fucking pussy.

The softball team wanted me to rub some courage on it, and also called me a pussy. I did play about 10 ten games with a torn ACL, so fuck off, all of you.

[JoeyJoJo 18]

I did play about 10 ten games with a torn ACL, so fuck off, all of you.

[WordsOfTheProphet 0]

The softball team wanted me to rub some courage on it, and also called me a pussy. I did play about 10 ten games with a torn ACL, so fuck off, all of you.

Damn drug testers never doing their job

[WordsOfTheProphet 0]

man I aaaaalmost just bought a surfboard. that would have been the coolest thing ever.

I almost refused a shawarma pancake today

[Theraflu 1,035]

Thank you.

[speedz99 145]

[Nikki_N 17]

Hide ya kids, hide ya wife.

[brvheart 1,753]

There was a little two year old boy that got lost in a corn field today, which doesn't sound like a big deal, but fields are often miles long and in the middle you can get vertigo pretty quickly.Anyway, the family called the authorities and a search party formed.They ended up tell the family dog that "billy" was missing and the dog ran into the middle of the field and stood by the little boy barking until the searchers found them.I find it pretty amazing that the dog not only understood the kid's name, but realized that he needed to stay with him and create noise so that help could find him.I sit here... still amazed.

[LongLiveYorke 38]

I don't hate a lot of movies, but when I do hate one I can get pretty irrational about my hatred of it.

I have no idea what that's like.I think this post shows that I've been working too hard and that my mind is starting to melt out of my ears:http://www.fullcontactpoker.com/poker-foru...t&p=338618210 hours a day for the past two weeks, including weekends. All self-imposed. Blah.

[Napa_Don 688]

There was a little two year old boy that got lost in a corn field today, which doesn't sound like a big deal, but fields are often miles long and in the middle you can get vertigo pretty quickly.Anyway, the family called the authorities and a search party formed.They ended up tell the family dog that "billy" was missing and the dog ran into the middle of the field and stood by the little boy barking until the searchers found them.I find it pretty amazing that the dog not only understood the kid's name, but realized that he needed to stay with him and create noise so that help could find him.I sit here... still amazed.

Meh, my dog finds me pheasants all the time in cornfields that he's never met a day in his life. Dogs are the beessstttttttt.I know I've told this story before but our family dog kept me from wandering into a "busy" highway chasing a combine once.

[The mobile flu 0]

Pets are unethical and serve no useful purpose except to exacerbate humans need to control everything around them

[LongLiveYorke 38]

Pets are unethical and serve no useful purpose except to exacerbate humans need to control everything around them

'sup

[SBriand 4]

Pets are unethical and serve no useful purpose except to exacerbate humans need to control everything around them

I bet if you had a dog it would have licked your knee and you would be all better by now. Instead you have to deal with a KNIFE!

[WordsOfTheProphet 0]

Pets are unethical and serve no useful purpose except to exacerbate humans need to control everything around them

Did a dog ever do something to hurt you?