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I Called In Sick Today

turd ferguson

By turd ferguson,
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El Guapo

El Guapo 8

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MK, I find that "Last Night" by the strokes always kills it, and you don't need to know how to sing to do it. But you're probably with a bunch of people who think you can only sing 80's songs that suck at karaoke. So, blah.
That song works because after you sing Last Night really loud, you can just mumble the rest.
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mk

mk 11

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I've done Toni Braxton's Unbreak my heart.
this is totally in play. also being CAREFULLY CONSIDERED: valerie by steve winwood, which would consist of lots of jumping around during verses and endless fistpumps during choruses.
...and the best karaoke song of all time is Back in BlackHopefully, youll scream as loud as I do and puke around the second verse
i fear no karaoke songs except: ac/dc
Also MK,I know you said no 90's but, Lou Bega "Mambo #5" is my clutch go to song.
very safe, very PUSSY. how about, i don't know...how about the fucking BEATLES? how about fucking BEETHOVEN?
MK, I find that "Last Night" by the strokes always kills it, and you don't need to know how to sing to do it. But you're probably with a bunch of people who think you can only sing 80's songs that suck at karaoke. So, blah.
except it's the opposite of this!
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strategy

strategy 4

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I give you guys fucking gold day in and day out and what do we spend the whole of august 3 discussing? mk's goddamn karaoke. fucking bullshit.

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Napa_Don

Napa_Don 688

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this is totally in play. also being CAREFULLY CONSIDERED: valerie by steve winwood, which would consist of lots of jumping around during verses and endless fistpumps during choruses.i fear no karaoke songs except: ac/dcvery safe, very PUSSY. how about, i don't know...how about the fucking BEATLES? how about fucking BEETHOVEN?except it's the opposite of this!
Hey, man, just because "Late Registration" is one of my favorite albums ever doesn't mean I don't know music.Just kidding, it probably does mean that.
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JoeyJoJo

JoeyJoJo 18

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Strat, you are my rock. My foundation. Without you, I wouldn't be here today.
Because he makes you look good by comparison?You know, because you're a dumbass who can't handle himself in a fight.
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Napa_Don

Napa_Don 688

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Because he makes you look good by comparison?You know, because you're a dumbass who can't handle himself in a fight.
No, Mr. JJJ. Because he compared me to black olives once. Tearing up just thinking about it.
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strategy

strategy 4

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No, Mr. JJJ. Because he compared me to black olives once. Tearing up just thinking about it.
I had totally forgotten about this. I don't remember how I phrased it, but it had to have been marginally insulting, given my opinion of black olives.
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Napa_Don

Napa_Don 688

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I had totally forgotten about this. I don't remember how I phrased it, but it had to have been marginally insulting, given my opinion of black olives.
It was, but I was ok with it. Unless it was meant to be more insulting than not, because in that case. I take it back, I take it alllll back.
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strategy

strategy 4

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It was, but I was ok with it. Unless it was meant to be more insulting than not, because in that case. I take it back, I take it alllll back.
I like black olives, but only in certain quantities, and I'm not always conscious of when they're missing.papa murphys for instance, WAY too many black olives
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Napa_Don

Napa_Don 688

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I like black olives, but only in certain quantities, and I'm not always conscious of when they're missing.papa murphys for instance, WAY too many black olives
Well then, there goes my entire purpose of living.
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speedz99

speedz99 145

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I give you guys fucking gold day in and day out and what do we spend the whole of august 3 discussing? mk's goddamn karaoke. fucking bullshit.
It beats discussions about black olives, that's for sure.On second thought...it probably doesn't. Although the Unbreak My Heart idea is phenomenal.
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Sickinfo2

Sickinfo2 291

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did anyone ever thank beans for fixing the oil leak in the gulf?
"..."
Awesome, thank you. I still have a few weeks to think about it while I wait for my license to show up in the mail.MA laws are such a pain in the ass. Although one law that some people hate, I don't mind all that much...the ban on high-capacity mags. When there are school and workplace shootings, people get away while the shooter is reloading. I don't mind having to take a little extra time at the range. I'm such a bleeding heart pussy liberal.
I tried to contact him a few times this afternoon to no avail....Should hear back in the next day or so, but hes even more eccentric guapo-ex than me if thats even possible
Not that I've seen a Bean's Back in Black, but I'd assume that the performance style would be similar.
Ive probably shared the whole tale before, but I actually puked during the second verse one night at a dive club in Fayetteville. A few minutes later I received a page that my "party" was waiting outside in the parking lot. My party that night was three Army guys and my brother-in-law. Anyway, it turned out that Fred.... a black guy...was thrown by the bouncers about ten feet out the door and skidded across the gravel parking lot. We picked up his unconscious body and threw it in the back of my pickup...About halfway home the cops got behind me. I figured it was all over when they turned on the spotlight and pointed it at Freds lifeless body lying on top of several rolls of copper. After a few minutes they turned it off and turned on another streetLONG LIVE THE SOUTH!
closed the bar down and woke up in the back room being raped by the bartender early in the morning.
Been there...
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leftygolfer

leftygolfer 7

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Lefty, 3 weeks.God, I hate Favre so much.
I am considering a bet with my broI pay $10 for every game he plays.He pays me $100 for every game he doesn't.Lock for me IMO
I like black olives, but only in certain quantities, and I'm not always conscious of when they're missing.papa murphys for instance, WAY too many black olives
There was a Papa Murphy's out in the far west suburbs that I frequented. I see most in the suburbs are closed now.Thouhgt is was a good idea, but just too much $$ in delivery. Guess people are too lazy.
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Naked_Cowboy

Naked_Cowboy 0

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I spent the afternoon / evening last night installing all new soffit vents on my house. It was 103 degrees outside. I hope this earns me some beans points at least.

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CaneBrain

CaneBrain 95

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I spent the afternoon / evening last night installing all new soffit vents on my house. It was 103 degrees outside. I hope this earns me some beans points at least.
It took a lot for me to not throw out a snarky comment on facebook.So brag post time:My wife and I and our best couple friends are splitting a one bedroom apartment at the Canyon Ranch Spa in Miami Beach for August and September (we got a sick deal; $2000/month total). Free access to the spa, beach area, health club, etc.Anyone who has been to the one at the Venetian can attest to how sick it is. http://www.canyonran...ch.com/the_spa/http://www.canyonranchmiamibeach.com/We get $300 dollars in free massage treatments each and a whole host of other free shit.We went last night for the first time and the Igloo might be the greatest thing ever.
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JoeyJoJo

JoeyJoJo 18

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So brag post time:
I liked it more when you were failing tests and stuff.If I knew you were going to be doing all kinds of cool things to make us jealous, I wouldn't have allowed strategy to let you in.Jerk.
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CaneBrain

CaneBrain 95

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I liked it more when you were failing tests and stuff.If I knew you were going to be doing all kinds of cool things to make us jealous, I wouldn't have allowed strategy to let you in.Jerk.
<generic insincere apology line>
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