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I Called In Sick Today


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and after 3 days, he is risen!

If you are paying $20 for a haircut, I imagine people assume you did it yourself anyway.

Pocket change cost me my first and only black girlfriend.   It was in the middle of a roaring poker boom and I was flush in ways most men don't even bother dreaming of. Money, it was like dirt to me

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You know what's not amazing*? This...Pops: Are you coming to the fundraiser that [his friend's daughter] is throwing Saturday night?Speedz: I told you weeks ago that I'm going camping that night.Pops: Blow it off. There are going to be tons of single jewish women there.Speedz: Have we met?Pops: Do you want to die alone as a crusty old bachelor?*segue!

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You know what's not amazing*? This...Pops: Are you coming to the fundraiser that [his friend's daughter] is throwing Saturday night?Speedz: I told you weeks ago that I'm going camping that night.Pops: Blow it off. There are going to be tons of single jewish women there.Speedz: Have we met?Pops: I forgot you like men.*segway!
it's better this way.I am surprised your dad is giving you that routine already. Usually, both Jewish parents fret over the daughter's marital status but only the mother worries about the son's. My mom has started in on us about having kids. Not good times.
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it's better this way.
No it's not, because that would be a joke*. I think it's better that he was dead serious.*he has met a handful of my girlfriends and I don't typically joke around about homosocial behavior around himEdit: Although I prefer your spelling of "segueway"
I am surprised your dad is giving you that routine already. Usually, both Jewish parents fret over the daughter's marital status but only the mother worries about the son's. My mom has started in on us about having kids. Not good times.
With my dad it's hard to tell if he's giving me shit about something because he actually cares or because he's merely sick of my mother bothering him about it.
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No it's not, because that would be a joke*. I think it's better that he was dead serious.*he has met a handful of my girlfriends and I don't typically joke around about homosocial behavior around himEdit: Although I prefer your spelling of "segueway"With my dad it's hard to tell if he's giving me shit about something because he actually cares or because he's merely sick of my mother bothering him about it.
Knowing our people, I am betting HEAVILY on "sick of being bothered".UM has security guards on segways now. It's great.
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Say, did you guys know that Kendall Jenner is 14 now? Seems like just yesterday she was only 13.
Who the hell is Kendall Jenner?
This is incredible. I also enjoyed the woman reporter's amazingly annoying voice.
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I will be wearing a dorag like Antoine when I play 18 tomorrow.Speaking of rape, from D Bruson's blog:My publicist, Lara Miller, sold everything she owned except what she could carry in a backpack. She left her business and embarked on a 3-4 year journey around the world. She is currently in India and she regularly blogs and sends tweets about her trip. She has a $14 a day budget and plans on hitchhiking across Asia and Europe. I can’t imagine all the dangers she is going to encounter doing that. But, she is determined to do so even after I tried to talk her out of it. Can you just imagine an attractive 34 year old woman hitchhiking across some of those countries? I told her the only way she could possibly not get raped is to carry cards in every language and give them out at the opportune moment. The card would say, “Go ahead, but I have aids.” That might save her but I really fear for what could happen, being all alone in foreign countries
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did you have to pick a picture of her looking like a complete retard?or is any other combination of variables acceptable so long as the breasts are: looking fantastic?

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Eloped with LG.
this one has an obsession with LGJJJ said he was going on a sabbatical, I guess that means family vacationLG's in france without internet connectivity
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I'm pissed and I've just cracked the first beer and already had a shot. For anything I post in the next 24 hours I apologize in advance. I'm going to try and avoid teh interwebz but no telling what might fogged mind might think is a good idea in a few hours.

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this one has an obsession with LG
Look, if you call thinking about her every waking minute of the day and building a small but respectful shrine in the closet where my wife won't see it "an obsession", then fine, guilty as charged.
JJJ said he was going on a sabbatical, I guess that means family vacationLG's in france without internet connectivity
Yeah, "France".
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I'm pissed and I've just cracked the first beer and already had a shot. For anything I post in the next 24 hours I apologize in advance. I'm going to try and avoid teh interwebz but no telling what might fogged mind might think is a good idea in a few hours.
Sorry buddy. But also:100276794_548c83c4eb.jpg
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I was wondering when someone was going to mention JJJ's absence. Maybe Cindy will join us for a few months.

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