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I Called In Sick Today


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If you are paying $20 for a haircut, I imagine people assume you did it yourself anyway.

and after 3 days, he is risen!

Pocket change cost me my first and only black girlfriend.   It was in the middle of a roaring poker boom and I was flush in ways most men don't even bother dreaming of. Money, it was like dirt to me

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Thanks, Brv (and Hank and even Sal who made me laugh).Boss just came by to fire me. Lol. At least they did not drag it out. Took a lot of composure not to yell at him and ask why I needed to work while studying and if they really think this is a fair way to treat someone. (Note: Of the previous 5 first years hired by this firm, only I had to work and study the summer before the bar. fml.) Whatever, there is nothing to be gained by flipping out. I am about to go home and enjoy my couch.
wow, that really sucks balls. Sorry to hear about it.On the other hand, I've enjoyed everyone not caring and piling on to you. It makes me remember how we used to not care about everyone's feelings and just let it rip.You'll be fine, you know you'll be fine, I know you'll be fine and it'll just take some time to get over it. I suggest taking a part time job at a really low level place, like, some place that might even hire Sal, and just take out your aggressions on people there. Say, a stock boy at Walmart or something. I should meet up with you and buy you some drinks just so you can see that my life in it's current state is worse than yours at it's lowest point. That should help a little no?
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You know what happens in third world countries when you don't pass the bar?They cane youToo soon or too crappy of a joke? I'll go with option two.also, to Sal's Johnny Cochran joke, I woulda wrote "but that was the California Bar exam, which is actually hard"backwards K and a dribbler to first. Ughhhh

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wow, that really sucks balls. Sorry to hear about it.On the other hand, I've enjoyed everyone not caring and piling on to you. It makes me remember how we used to not care about everyone's feelings and just let it rip.You'll be fine, you know you'll be fine, I know you'll be fine and it'll just take some time to get over it. I suggest taking a part time job at a really low level place, like, some place that might even hire Sal, and just take out your aggressions on people there. Say, a stock boy at Walmart or something. I should meet up with you and buy you some drinks just so you can see that my life in it's current state is worse than yours at it's lowest point. That should help a little no?
brv certainly seemed like he wanted to help out earlier, and napa must be going back to school now right?
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You'll be fine, you know you'll be fine, I know you'll be fine and it'll just take some time to get over it. I suggest taking a part time job at a really low level place, like, some place that might even hire Sal, and just take out your aggressions on people there. Say, a stock boy at Walmart or something. I should meet up with you and buy you some drinks just so you can see that my life in it's current state is worse than yours at it's lowest point. That should help a little no?
That's a really good idea. You want to move up to Michigan? Take a job pitching cards for me? If you show any aptitude for leadership, I'll promote you in like 6 weeks. I'm really easy to work for, except I make people call me Mister Manager.Also, something to keep in mind:You graduated from law school. You have a law degree. You will almost certainly pass the bar next time you take it. Think about that for like 2 minutes. Don't think about anything that has happened -- losing your job, not passing the bar -- because, as of now, it's totally irrelevant. You've got a law degree. You're fine. Things will be imperfect for a few months, and maybe even a few years if the economy stays crappy and the lawyer-market stays saturated. But you're set for life, and will likely never want for security or comfort. Congratulations.But, seriously, how did you fail the bar?! I mean, you knew it was coming, right? The bar exam isn't like a pop quiz or anything, is it? Don't they just give you a date, like, 6 months in advance? I can't believe you couldn't find 100 hours to over 6 months -- that's, what, less than 40 minutes a day? -- to get yourself ready for the last test you will ever have to take. That should have been motivation enough. "If I pass this test, I will never, ever have to take another exam again."
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That's a really good idea. You want to move up to Michigan? Take a job pitching cards for me? If you show any aptitude for leadership, I'll promote you in like 6 weeks. I'm really easy to work for, except I make people call me Mister Manager.Also, something to keep in mind:You graduated from law school. You have a law degree. You will almost certainly pass the bar next time you take it. Think about that for like 2 minutes. Don't think about anything that has happened -- losing your job, not passing the bar -- because, as of now, it's totally irrelevant. You've got a law degree. You're fine. Things will be imperfect for a few months, and maybe even a few years if the economy stays crappy and the lawyer-market stays saturated. But you're set for life, and will likely never want for security or comfort. Congratulations.But, seriously, how did you fail the bar?! I mean, you knew it was coming, right? The bar exam isn't like a pop quiz or anything, is it? Don't they just give you a date, like, 6 months in advance? I can't believe you couldn't find 100 hours to over 6 months -- that's, what, less than 40 minutes a day? -- to get yourself ready for the last test you will ever have to take. That should have been motivation enough. "If I pass this test, I will never, ever have to take another exam again."
I easily put in 100 hours just in the last 8 days before the exam. It's a hard test and you cant start 6 months in advance because you are still finishing up law school, final exams, etc.That being said, most people pass the bar and you are right. I should have found a way to get it done.Thanks, Ron Mex for the kind words. Maybe we will get that drink. Bills Dolphins perhaps?
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Cane, have you considered going back to school for a degree in Accounting or Economics.
HAR DE HAR HAR FAGGOT.I'm not f'd in life just quite yet. Besides, worst case scenario, I'll move in with Sal and get a job at the new wal-mart and we'll leave awesomely ever after.
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HAR DE HAR HAR FAGGOT.I'm not f'd in life just quite yet. Besides, worst case scenario, I'll move in with Sal and get a job at the new wal-mart and we'll leave awesomely ever after.
I have no doubt you will.Off to my second softball game ever. I wasn't too impressive in the first one. No more outfield under the lights for this guy.
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HAR DE HAR HAR FAGGOT.I'm not f'd in life just quite yet. Besides, worst case scenario, I'll move in with Sal and get a job at the new wal-mart and we'll leave awesomely ever after.
this is not a terrible idea. cane, you should move up here, and maybe a few other sickes, and we could all work at walmart. we could film it and stuff. it would be the best... no, it would be ridiculously stupid. but still. hasn't stopped us before.
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this is not a terrible idea. cane, you should move up here, and maybe a few other sickes, and we could all work at walmart. we could film it and stuff. it would be the best... no, it would be ridiculously stupid. but still. hasn't stopped us before.
before I consider this further I have one question:would I be required to pop my collar?
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before I consider this further I have one question:would I be required to pop my collar?
well see that's a tricky question. you aren't required to pop your collar, but you are required to want to pop your collar.
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Last week, in the student lounge, there was a guest speaker who lectured on taking the bar exam and his 40 years of experience in real estate law. He graduated from Yale back in the day. This dude is like world famous apparently. He had some advice that I think you should hear, Cane. He said the Bar Exam isnt hard at all. He said that they grade so many of them that all you have to do is make sure you list the main points and hit the key words and they'll give you the credit whether you analyzed it right or not. The Bar Exam is easy, he says, and as proof he told us that he had passed it in 8 states. He also desribed how he got the answer to one of the questions changed and single handedly changed the grades for 27 people taking it that day, allowing them to pass. I cant remember his name, but his speech was retarded. He went on for 30 minutes about how fucking easy the bar exam is. Seriously. When he was done one of my professors got up and was like, yeah, all of you listening, dont think the bar is easy because it was easy for this guy. It will be hard for you. Study. Study a lot.

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Can I come pitch cards for you?
Absolutely, Herman. There are some stipulations, however: - You must refer to me as "Mister Manager," and correct everyone else if they refer to me as anything but "Mister Manager" during work hours, even if I am not present. Example: "So I was talking to Derek about my schedule, and he sa-" Clint: "You mean Mister Manager?" "Uh, yeah, Mister Manager." Clint: "Manager. We just say manager." "But Clint you just said-" Clint: "Doesn't matter who." You have to do this every time no matter what. You'll have some latitude to goof around with it, though.- You have to tell stories about how awesome/retarded I am. I can't really tell a lot of these stories to my dealers, so you'll have to tell them. Just act like you were there or something, or like I told you years ago. I'd rather you not start the stories with, "So I was browsing the Sick Thread and...."- Two days per month, when I go to the bar to try to get laid, you will be my wingman. This will end disastrously for the both of us. - Finally, and most importantly, you have to deal with "
" jokes. If I need to talk to you, I will use the PA and say "Paging Mr. Herman. Mr. Herman..." every single time. You might even be standing there next to me, like 8 feet away. Doesn't matter. I will enjoy working with you.
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It's career fair time for me again. I've already got interviews for internships with two small firms (one has a really Jewish sounding name that I don't want to post in case they google themselves, so Cane/Speedz..put in a word through the tribe for me?). I've decided I'm going to try something different this year in interviews...I'm going to stretch the truth to the point where it might not even be true anymore to come up with good situations/answers for the behavioral type questions that are so popular in interviews nowadays.
This is what you do...You flip it on them. You start asking the questions, so they're trying to impress you.
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this is not a terrible idea. cane, you should move up here, and maybe a few other sickes, and we could all work at walmart. we could film it and stuff. it would be the best... no, it would be ridiculously stupid. but still. hasn't stopped us before.
After I graduate, I would dead-seriously do this for a summer. No-fucking-joke. I wouldn't even care that we won't like each other. Would be worth it.
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Absolutely, Herman. There are some stipulations, however: - You must refer to me as "Mister Manager," and correct everyone else if they refer to me as anything but "Mister Manager" during work hours, even if I am not present. Example: "So I was talking to Derek about my schedule, and he sa-" Clint: "You mean Mister Manager?" "Uh, yeah, Mister Manager." Clint: "Manager. We just say manager." "But Clint you just said-" Clint: "Doesn't matter who." You have to do this every time no matter what. You'll have some latitude to goof around with it, though.- You have to tell stories about how awesome/retarded I am. I can't really tell a lot of these stories to my dealers, so you'll have to tell them. Just act like you were there or something, or like I told you years ago. I'd rather you not start the stories with, "So I was browsing the Sick Thread and...."- Two days per month, when I go to the bar to try to get laid, you will be my wingman. This will end disastrously for the both of us. - Finally, and most importantly, you have to deal with "
" jokes. If I need to talk to you, I will use the PA and say "Paging Mr. Herman. Mr. Herman..." every single time. You might even be standing there next to me, like 8 feet away. Doesn't matter. I will enjoy working with you.
Aaannnndddd, now I have a new ringtone. Expect me there around the end of May.
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I liked this.I... no.Does anyone have any suggestions for desktop wallpapers? stipulation: the resolution must be 1680x1050 or bigger. I've only got like 10 of them in my rotation and it's getting repetitive.
naked_gym.jpg
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I liked this.I... no.
I quoted the NPV comment you made so I could make a silly net present value joke, but I really had no idea what it was going to be. Then, in my head, I saw a picture of a guy wearing a short-sleeve white shirt, a pocket-protector and glasses. He's a little older, and kind of... sad looking, like somehow he's 40 already, and he doesn't even recognize himself when he looks in the mirror. Who is this man, with the hunched shoulders and the bad haircut? He's standing near a Christmas tree, using a calculator. Then I thought to myself, "what is this man doing?" Well, he's calculating Net Present Value. "Let's see here. I spent $320 on gifts, $25 on shipping, and $38 on gift-wrapping. Less discounts and rebates of $9, for Present Expenses of $374. My daughters got me a toolbox I will never use for $29, and Mary bought me a gift certificate to Office Max for $100, for a Present Value of $129 and I think I want a divorce. Net Present Value: a $245 deficit."Anyway, that's what happened in my brain, and I liked the joke, too.
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