I Called In Sick Today

[Tactical Bear 3]

That hosehound sure does have some funbags.

I didn't know what a hosehound was the first time I saw it today, and I don't know what it means now, but I'm going to try to incorporate it into my vernacular as quickly and efficiently as possible.Things I want to mention briefly:I am finally going to get fired. My boss has hated me since the day he hired me. My Machiavellian manoeuvering has given me a level of comfort and authority, but I think I've finally given him grounds to dismiss me. I lit an entire table up for abusing my dealers, and apparently that is not acceptable. When confronted about it, I told him to his face: "You see, this is why nobody wants to work for you." He threatened to fire me. "Okay. But everyone is going to know you fired me for sticking up for the troops and because you don't like me personally. You want to make me a hero? I can live with that. Let me know by next Friday. Oh, and make sure you've got all skeletons hidden in another closet."He's going to fire me, I think, because if he doesn't, I'll have total immunity. It was a fun ride.

[JubilantLankyLad 1,957]

I didn't know what a hosehound was the first time I saw it today, and I don't know what it means now, but I'm going to try to incorporate it into my vernacular as quickly and efficiently as possible.Things I want to mention briefly:I am finally going to get fired. My boss has hated me since the day he hired me. My Machiavellian manoeuvering has given me a level of comfort and authority, but I think I've finally given him grounds to dismiss me. I lit an entire table up for abusing my dealers, and apparently that is not acceptable. When confronted about it, I told him to his face: "You see, this is why nobody wants to work for you." He threatened to fire me. "Okay. But everyone is going to know you fired me for sticking up for the troops and because you don't like me personally. You want to make me a hero? I can live with that. Let me know by next Friday. Oh, and make sure you've got all skeletons hidden in another closet."He's going to fire me, I think, because if he doesn't, I'll have total immunity. It was a fun ride.

you think?so fired.

[Sal Paradise 57]

I am finally going to get fired.

I'm sure you'll do fine.

[JoeyJoJo 18]

As long as those 74x plays keep winning. (I don't know if I used correct gambling terminology there.)I'm curious about the one guy who bet on Chicago. Is he a contrarian guy or something?

[brvheart 1,752]

I didn't know what a hosehound was the first time I saw it today, and I don't know what it means now, but I'm going to try to incorporate it into my vernacular as quickly and efficiently as possible.

[Theraflu 1,035]

This gave me a hearty chuckle:Still the Emmys are fuckin retarded. They never recognize anything good. ‘30 Rock’ over ‘Flight of the Conchords’? Fuck you. The winner is always some lowest-common denominator mush. If ‘Best Painter’ were an Emmy category, Thomas Kinkade would be holding his trophy on stage and plugging his website while Marcel Duchamp sat in the audience smiling politely."

This paragraph doesn't really make sense.

[Randy Reed 0]

This paragraph doesn't really make sense.

No biggie, i've made a career out of it.

[Randy Reed 0]

I didn't know what a hosehound was the first time I saw it today, and I don't know what it means now, but I'm going to try to incorporate it into my vernacular as quickly and efficiently as possible.Things I want to mention briefly:I am finally going to get fired. My boss has hated me since the day he hired me. My Machiavellian manoeuvering has given me a level of comfort and authority, but I think I've finally given him grounds to dismiss me. I lit an entire table up for abusing my dealers, and apparently that is not acceptable. When confronted about it, I told him to his face: "You see, this is why nobody wants to work for you." He threatened to fire me. "Okay. But everyone is going to know you fired me for sticking up for the troops and because you don't like me personally. You want to make me a hero? I can live with that. Let me know by next Friday. Oh, and make sure you've got all skeletons hidden in another closet."He's going to fire me, I think, because if he doesn't, I'll have total immunity. It was a fun ride.

Meh, you would have probably been fine except for berating the table, arguing with the boss and ultimately threatening him. Other than that you were probably justified in your actions.

[brvheart 1,752]

This paragraph doesn't really make sense.

You would have to know who Thomas Kincade was...YOU DON'T MAKE SENSE!

[Theraflu 1,035]

You would have to know who Thomas Kincade was...YOU DON'T MAKE SENSE!

30 rock is far from LCD-type drivel.

[speedz99 145]

also, this has been bothering me all weekend. how is this not national news?

It happened in Virginia.

Zimmer and I both on to day 2 of WCOOP main event about 200 left first is 1.7 million. If I win I'm getting an Audi too.

Good luck, gents.

I find out my Bar Exam results today. Pretty hard to not vomit profusely. I was the only person I know of from my law school who worked up until 10 days before the exam so I am pretty bitter at my employer right now. (Most people either stopped working a month before or did not work period until after the Bar....fml)

I made a quick call...you passed.Wait...you're a jew too, so that joke doesn't really work. How I forgot that the one lawyer in the thread is jewish, I have no idea.

I had this daydream once, except I offered a witty rejoinder, and then became a Hegemonic Political Demon, changing the country for the better by finding, grooming, and backing political candidates. I remember thinking at the time it was a lot like The Who's rock opera Tommy, somehow.

You actually had the "win the lottery, governor asks for a donation, hilarity ensues" daydream? It's like we're two balls in the same sac.

Steelers 74x Bears 1xWith the juice, that ends up being more than a 160x swing depending on the result. For context, for an entire slate of NCAAF, my players wagered about 140x. It's really hard to explain the anxiety I felt during that game. I was wailing when bad stuff happened, like an old-school Italian widow throwing herself on her beloved's casket.

I'm not sure, because I don't know much about sports betting, but I think this means you won a bunch of money. Congrats?

My eldest seems to be very interested in taking care of animals so the vet path is maybe in her future. Hopefully, when Matt is rich/famous in his practice, he can provide an internship to my kid.

I'd be happy to...good animal story, we need more of that around here.

I don't know who Blake Lively is, but my initial reaction to speedz's picture was laughter. Not because she isn't hot (because she is hot), but because of how stereotypically skinny she was. That shouldn't be surprising considering the source, but I guess the image in my head of great breasts usually involve someone with more meat on their bones.

I think that breasts can't be that great if they're attached to a body with too much bone-meat. At that point it just makes me realize they're not much more than fat-sacs...which is slightly less attractive. Plus tittays that are too big often look weird without support.

Still the Emmys are fuckin retarded. They never recognize anything good. ‘30 Rock’ over ‘Flight of the Conchords’? Fuck you. The winner is always some lowest-common denominator mush. If ‘Best Painter’ were an Emmy category, Thomas Kinkade would be holding his trophy on stage and plugging his website while Marcel Duchamp sat in the audience smiling politely."

This is very, very wrong. 30 Rock contains a lot of smart comedy, while the new season of Flight was mostly terrible. Maybe not terrible, but certainly not that funny.

That hosehound sure does have some funbags.

See!

Things I want to mention briefly:

Seems like more of a "thing" to me, but what do I know?Do you have a firing preference? As in, not how, but if you get fired? What I'm trying to ask is if you would prefer to keep that job or get canned.

[JubilantLankyLad 1,957]

[speedz99 145]

Looks like somebody's a little too into The Karate Kid.Also, that's why they try not to adopt out black cats leading up to halloween.

[JoeyJoJo 18]

I think that breasts can't be that great if they're attached to a body with too much bone-meat. At that point it just makes me realize they're not much more than fat-sacs...which is slightly less attractive. Plus tittays that are too big often look weird without support.

I'm not saying you're necessarily wrong. I'm not even saying that necessarily should even be in that sentence. I'm just saying that when someone says, "check out the funbags on that hosehound," I don't expect the girl to be really skinny. I will also say that I should have necessarily adjusted my expectations based on who was scrutinizing the funbags in question. It's also possible the previous sentence contains too many words.

[JubilantLankyLad 1,957]

Looks like somebody's a little too into The Karate Kid.Also, that's why they try not to adopt out black cats leading up to halloween.

sweep the leg, kitty!

[speedz99 145]

I'm not saying you're necessarily wrong. I'm not even saying that necessarily should even be in that sentence. I'm just saying that when someone says, "check out the funbags on that hosehound," I don't expect the girl to be really skinny. I will also say that I should have necessarily adjusted my expectations based on who was scrutinizing the funbags in question. It's also possible that previous sentence contains too many words.

No, I knew what you were saying. I just can't pass up an opportunity to ruminate on the subject. After all, there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world, it would be a pity not to stare at hers.

[Sal Paradise 57]

I'd like to know how the crepe party went myself.

[DrawingDeadInDM 0]

No, I knew what you were saying. I just can't pass up an opportunity to ruminate on the subject. After all, there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world, it would be a pity not to stare at hers.

I DIED THAT DAY

[speedz99 145]

It's always interesting to see what manner of post will bring someone out of the woodwork for a guest appearance.

[JoeyJoJo 18]

It's always interesting to see what manner of post will bring someone out of the woodwork for a guest appearance.

Quickly too. I had a 500 word (give or take) reply all typed out, but I always check to see if someone's replied to it already before finalizing the post. He stole my thunder.

[DrawingDeadInDM 0]

It's always interesting to see what manner of post will bring someone out of the woodwork for a guest appearance.

The Princess Bride will do it to me every time.

[DrawingDeadInDM 0]

Quickly too. I had a 500 word (give or take) reply all typed out, but I always check to see if someone's replied to it already before finalizing the post. He stole my thunder.

I'll edit if you want. Your's is probably much better.

[JoeyJoJo 18]

I'll edit if you want. Your's is probably much better.

No, I can't work with those kinds of expectations.

[DrawingDeadInDM 0]

No, I can't work with those kinds of expectations.

As you wish.

[Tactical Bear 3]

Seems like more of a "thing" to me, but what do I know?Do you have a firing preference? As in, not how, but if you get fired? What I'm trying to ask is if you would prefer to keep that job or get canned.

There was going to be a second thing, but I decided not to get into it just yet. I am not getting fired. I am marching in tomorrow*, calling him a fat-fuck penguin-looking bitch, and taking a new (better, but riskier) position at a new room. It took me all of 45 minutes this afternoon to get a new job lined up, so I am taking it. *- Might not be tomorrow. Might be later this week, depending on how my meeting goes tomorrow.