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Beans, you strike me as the type that would make their own fireworks. Ever undertaken such a project and, if so, were the results as hilarious as I imagine?
I sure did as a kid....We were pretty poor, so instead of expensive fireworks, I fired up the lawnmower, set the blades down low, and drove up and down our gravel roadThe popping and banging sorta fooled the neighbor kids into thinking I had the real thing.... the broken windows and plume of dust was hard to explain, though...In my early teens I made some dandy home brewed explosives.... little known fact.... you can shoot a pound can of blackpowder with a twenty two and make a hellova explosionDad lost two windows and a storm door during that incidentI know Ive told this before, but we also built large bonfires and disposed of spray cans and whatever we could find to make an explosion. Fix-a-flat was the best for boom/mushroom clouds and starting fluid could start a field ablaze in seconds. Regular spray paint was good but the marble inside made it a risky maneuver...Small camping propane bottles have an overpressure valve on the top that turns into a flaming jet about ten feet long. A little JBWeld over it makes it into a miniature Hiroshima that will actually put out the bonfireFor before dark festivities we purchased a case or two of automotive freon twelve and shot them with a twenty two....they froze everything solid within a five foot circle. We bought then for about a dollar a can....now theyre worth probably fifty bucks eachThe hole in the ozone was worth it, though....
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and after 3 days, he is risen!

If you are paying $20 for a haircut, I imagine people assume you did it yourself anyway.

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I used to go to this all guy camping/shooting/drinking/4X4ing weekend. We would get a bon fire at least 20 feet around and one of the things we did was burn couches.Well ever year they talked about shooting a propane tank while in the fire, a few years ago one of my good friends did. That thing took off like a rocket and zoomed past someones head at mach 3. Drunk shooting at propane canisters in huge bonfires is probably not the smartest thing to do in retrospect. Luckily for me, even extremely intoxicated, I hid behind a 5 foot boulder.EDIT: That boulder you see in the distance is the one I hid behind.Here is me spotting my buddy rock climbingDSCF0965.jpgThere goes a TVRustyland806335mm.jpgHere's camping poker, the one to my left is the genius that shot the canister. Pretty sure it happened shortly after this picture.Rustyland807435mm.jpgHere is the car we shot upRustyland7051Digital.jpgThis guy drank a liter and a half of tequila in 30 minutes, this is the aftermathRustyland7117Digital.jpg

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Okay, seriously, I can skeedaddle, if you'd prefer. I won't even mope or complain or whatever. If I'm harshing your sickie groove, I can hit the road back to my own thread. It's just, in the Summer, I don't work, so I get all the army stuff read and come over here. It used to be hard to keep up in there, but a number of posters can't post from work anymore, so our post numbers have been dropping.You guys are entertaining, but I know that we army folk weird you out, so if you'd like, I'll get out of here. Just let me know.
poop on that, you are welcome
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Give us a short story if you have time....
Well, I'm sitting at home alone on a Saturday night. Turner, Hooch, Blue Moon Ale, and vicodin are my only friends so I guess I can tell a little story. Let's see here...Exactly one year ago, just about to the hour that I'm writing this I threw some clothes and a backpack and a sleeping bag and a tent into the trunk of my little '86 beamer and headed for San Francisco to kick it with my sister. Didn't tell her I was coming or anything and didn't plan ahead, but I was just bored in my town and nothing was happening. Well, many things happened between then and the story that I want to get to now so I'll just fast forward a bit maybe two weeks or so. Long story short I hung out with my sister that day and my brother in Portland after that for a week, left my car there and hopped a bus to Yellowstone with my camping gear. After that, hitched to my other sister's house in Minneapolis after a couple days, and then ended up stranded a few hundred miles west of Kansas City after a crazy night in that city that left me drunk, stoned, and laying in the bushes hiding from cops in a strange part of town mourning another lost chance at some sorely needed pussy. Her fucking brother was an asshole.So there you have it, I'm stuck on the side of...I guess it was I-70, where these two humongous ladies had dropped me off after a hectic thirty minute drive in their geo metro. I don't know how they weren't scraping the ground in that thing. Anyway, it was late afternoon when they dropped me off, but still hotter than shit and I drank all but the last few sips of my water trying in vain to catch another ride before dark. But the sun went down before anyone picked me up so I had to set up camp in a cow pasture real quick before it got too dark. It had to have been 10:30 before the sun got all the way set and it didn't cool off the whole night. So I spent a miserable night in my tent, laying on rocks and what I later found out were cow patties, butt neked and sweating because of the sticky heat, and spewing steaming Kansas City BBQ farts every thirty seconds. No wind was blowing. I got maybe four hours of sleep that night and hiked back out to the interstate through the knee high grass getting these annoying little burrs all over every inch of my clothing that I would spend the next week trying to get off. And the grass was wet as hell from the dew too so my shoes and socks were soaked by the time I got to the road, and I felt like I was dying of thirst. So I started walking, and walking, and walking with my thumb out hoping to find a gas station to get some water, but I made it maybe three miles or so before someone finally picked me up and drove me ten miles to the nearest truck stop. So now I'm still filthy and my soggy feet are killing me but at least I have some water and some crappy burger king breakfast in my stomach. With my spirits buoyed I walked out to the on ramp to try to catch a ride. Easier said than done in that redneck fucking state. I spent the next two and a half hours waiting and walking and sweating my balls off trying to catch a ride, until finally the car of my dreams rolled up. When you're waiting for a ride, or waiting for anything I guess, you play games with yourself to try to occupy your mind, and one of the games I liked to play was trying to predict which car would stop for me. I quickly learned to stereotype. Motor homes don't stop. Luxury cars don't stop. And minivans sure as hell don't stop. Your best bets are the poor looking cars, the more beat up the better. Well, I'm sitting on this on ramp maybe a mile from the truck stop I mentioned earlier when around the corner comes this primered out, dented up, thirty year old, all metal, beast of a car with a red and black star spray painted on the hood. Jackpot.I feel as though I'm losing momentum here so let me grab another beer and get back to this in a minute.
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Guap, one of these days I'm gonna have to load up the car with guns n beer and meet you at one of the shoots.

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Nikki/KristenYou are taking everyone a tad wrong, don't worry though, everyone does that with Brvy, but we are all delighted that you are posting here and continue to write whatever your heart pleases.What gets some of the other's goat is the heavy duty sexual innuendo posts that allude to shennanigans with other army members, but that's it.So please, stay, post whatever and enjoy. We like/want you here.Now go make me a sandwich

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Okay, seriously, I can skeedaddle, if you'd prefer. I won't even mope or complain or whatever. If I'm harshing your sickie groove, I can hit the road back to my own thread. It's just, in the Summer, I don't work, so I get all the army stuff read and come over here. It used to be hard to keep up in there, but a number of posters can't post from work anymore, so our post numbers have been dropping.You guys are entertaining, but I know that we army folk weird you out, so if you'd like, I'll get out of here. Just let me know.
GET THE FUCK OUT.no I'm kidding. as everybody else has said, he didn't mean it like that. it's always good to have more people providing something to read, as long as they're not retards that is (I'm looking at YOU hank. you RETARD).
Do I need to repost the story of how I dropped a turd on the MRI room floor?
I don't remember this so yes, please do.
Nikki/KristenYou are taking everyone a tad wrong, don't worry though, everyone does that with Brvy, but we are all delighted that you are posting here and continue to write whatever your heart pleases.What gets some of the other's goat is the heavy duty sexual innuendo posts that allude to shennanigans with other army members, but that's it.So please, stay, post whatever and enjoy. We like/want you here.Now go get your fuckin' shine box.
yeah, I think the thing is is that nobody is not allowed to post here; that's always been the thing. anybody can post. whether you get acknowledged or not is a whole other thing, but pretty much anybody can post as long as there's content of some sort.looks like caleb blacked out too. and I was just getting into the story.
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Sal, you look moderately cut in that pic of your standing in front of the lake, shirtless. Noooot tooo shabbyI'd put it in your buddy's wife, but I'd make her leave those sunglasses on.

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I did not realize the internet had rules. Let's see a story about being a spaz and blowing a chance with a girl. I could make something up but that's cheating.Problem is I am one of those guys who never makes a move until I know it is a sure thing. Definitely a character flaw. I have never "blown" it with a girl who was ready/willing/able in some hilarious fashion. I have surely not made a move on several occasions where if I had summoned the courage I would have gotten lucky. I also started dating my wife early on in college so that changes the dynamic.I do have one story that sort of fits the bill. I was living in Chicago for the summer after freshman year of college. Was single at the time. I knew a girl well from high school who was going to Northwestern. She had made it very clear that she wanted my junk; she used to flirt with me over IM all the time.So, I took the L up to Evanston from downtown Chicago and spent the day with her. Cheesy stuff, took a walk on the beach, took her out to dinner at a mongolian bbq place, went to some lame newspaper party (she was in the journalism school), got a bit drunk. Went back to her place and we started hooking up.Now, this girl was a very typical jewish girl. Really short (like 5 foot 1), curly hair, giant giant boobs (at least DD). Carried herself like she was super sexy. Thought she would be great in the sack. We started getting busy and it was clear that she was ready for serious action. I had a lot of fun with her tits and then she started to go down on me. What a nightmare. She could only get a little bit in her tiny mouth and teeth were prominently involved. Only by sheer power of the mind was I able to imagine something sexy and shoot off in her mouth.Whatever I can work on that right? And a tiny jewish girl is probably going to be better for sex with a tiny pussy (and I knew this girl was a virgin). So then I went to go down on her. Oh man. I dont think she had EVER trimmed down there. It was like something out of Scary Movie. I tried to just roll with it but eventually I got frustrated wading through that mess and I made a comment. She got livid and I apologized pretending I was just being a drunk idiot. Decided to let my fingers do the walking. Still gross. Finally I gave up and went back to playing with her tits and kissing her. She lost interest and went to bed. I could not sleep.....partially since I was still traumatized by her bush and partially because her bed was so damn tiny.I gave up at 4am and just left. Only time I ever pulled something like that. She was furious that I jetted in the middle of the night and never really spoke to me again.And that's how I lost out on tiny virgin jew-sex. could have spent the whole summer breaking her in. hope this qualifies for the sick thread.

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Turner, Hooch, Blue Moon Ale, and vicodin are my only friends so I guess I can tell a little story. Let's see here...I feel as though I'm losing momentum here so let me grab another beer and get back to this in a minute.
YES! the hitchhiking story!
fuck i missed this guy
Im sure hes changed it by now, but every time I scroll by "turdsey" in my phones address book I have the urge to check in on him....I figure Ill save the call for something really important, like advice on what to wear/how to act during a job orientation or something
anybody can post. whether you get acknowledged or not is a whole other thing, but pretty much anybody can post as long as there's content of some sort.looks like caleb blacked out too. and I was just getting into the story.
I should be a prime example.... my garbage barely sticks to the screenBut I feel loved tolerated most of the timeI just pray we get some closure on the story sometime this year....till then Ill just re-read the first part over and over
Sal, you look moderately cut in that pic of your standing in front of the lake, shirtless. Noooot tooo shabby
....with a short break now and then to scan facebook, I guess
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Nikki/KristenYou are taking everyone a tad wrong, don't worry though, everyone does that with Brvy, but we are all delighted that you are posting here and continue to write whatever your heart pleases.What gets some of the other members is the heavy duty sexual innuendo posts that allude to shennanigans with army goats, but that's it.So please, stay, post whatever and enjoy. We like/want you here.Now go make me a sandwich
FYP
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Also, NikkiWe're mostly like grade school guys in here. The more grief we give you, the more we like you. If we had inkwells, your pigtails would be in there by now. We pretty much just ignore the posters we don't like. Some people haven't been responded to in years and it took months for Brvheart to get a reply. Luckily for all involved, he's a persistent bugger, and now we know just how dangerous swine flu is and what it's like to hire a 12yr old to do your accounting.(you DO have pigtails, don't you?)

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I did not realize the internet had rules. hope this qualifies for the sick thread.
pics of said boobs? I more experienced man would've went with "you know what really turns me on baby, shaving you down below. Gets me off"then shave that donkey bush
I bet a few years ago, this was like #365 on your list...
good callEven I'm watching the Wimbledon finale
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Guap, one of these days I'm gonna have to load up the car with guns n beer and meet you at one of the shoots.
Sounds good. I was looking through the pics last night and realized I have not been in three years.
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Sounds good. I was looking through the pics last night and realized I have not been in three years.
all of that looked kind of too manly for me, and sorta homo erotic.I mean, really? Lets build a big fire, burn stuff, then shoot at stuff while camping out like real men. Overcompensation if I do say so myself. I'd guess at least one tent has some guy on guy action going on.
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Still sick about the 2nd set tiebreaker. Poor Roddick. If he loses this thing, that one will haunt him forever.6-5 in the fifth. Another classic mens final at Wimbledon. Pretty sick run of great matches in the final.

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I've never had a problem with you at all. I actually like having a girl around, now that LG is gone.
A little estrogen to balance things out, I suppose. Not too much, though. Have I told the story about having no uterus? No? On second thought, I won't. I think it may gross too many people out. Suffice it to say, I don't get the usual mood swings most girls get, so if I'm acting like a horrible bitch, it's for some other reason.
I seem to recall nikki telling a story about how she got too puky drunk to get a guy to bang her. I have a feeling that's about the best we're gonna get from a female.
Yeah, I can't think of anything else. I'm dredging up memories from high school in the hopes that something will come up, but as a girl who was willing to put out, I can't think of a damn thing. If I do, I'll post it here forthwith.
I sure did as a kid....We were pretty poor, so instead of expensive fireworks, I fired up the lawnmower, set the blades down low, and drove up and down our gravel roadThe popping and banging sorta fooled the neighbor kids into thinking I had the real thing.... the broken windows and plume of dust was hard to explain, though...In my early teens I made some dandy home brewed explosives.... little known fact.... you can shoot a pound can of blackpowder with a twenty two and make a hellova explosionDad lost two windows and a storm door during that incidentI know Ive told this before, but we also built large bonfires and disposed of spray cans and whatever we could find to make an explosion. Fix-a-flat was the best for boom/mushroom clouds and starting fluid could start a field ablaze in seconds. Regular spray paint was good but the marble inside made it a risky maneuver...Small camping propane bottles have an overpressure valve on the top that turns into a flaming jet about ten feet long. A little JBWeld over it makes it into a miniature Hiroshima that will actually put out the bonfireFor before dark festivities we purchased a case or two of automotive freon twelve and shot them with a twenty two....they froze everything solid within a five foot circle. We bought then for about a dollar a can....now theyre worth probably fifty bucks eachThe hole in the ozone was worth it, though....
When I was a kid, we had a neighbor blow up some gunpowder fireworks one year. I grew up in CA so we didn't get the cool fireworks you can buy around here. The gunpowder was pretty loud, if not visually spectacular. The whole street shook a few times. It was pretty awesome.
This guy drank a liter and a half of tequila in 30 minutes, this is the aftermathRustyland7117Digital.jpg
Did that man soil himself?
poop on that, you are welcome
Thanks!
Well, I'm sitting at home alone on a Saturday night. Turner, Hooch, Blue Moon Ale, and vicodin are my only friends so I guess I can tell a little story. Let's see here...Exactly one year ago, just about to the hour that I'm writing this I threw some clothes and a backpack and a sleeping bag and a tent into the trunk of my little '86 beamer and headed for San Francisco to kick it with my sister. Didn't tell her I was coming or anything and didn't plan ahead, but I was just bored in my town and nothing was happening. Well, many things happened between then and the story that I want to get to now so I'll just fast forward a bit maybe two weeks or so. Long story short I hung out with my sister that day and my brother in Portland after that for a week, left my car there and hopped a bus to Yellowstone with my camping gear. After that, hitched to my other sister's house in Minneapolis after a couple days, and then ended up stranded a few hundred miles west of Kansas City after a crazy night in that city that left me drunk, stoned, and laying in the bushes hiding from cops in a strange part of town mourning another lost chance at some sorely needed pussy. Her fucking brother was an asshole.So there you have it, I'm stuck on the side of...I guess it was I-70, where these two humongous ladies had dropped me off after a hectic thirty minute drive in their geo metro. I don't know how they weren't scraping the ground in that thing. Anyway, it was late afternoon when they dropped me off, but still hotter than shit and I drank all but the last few sips of my water trying in vain to catch another ride before dark. But the sun went down before anyone picked me up so I had to set up camp in a cow pasture real quick before it got too dark. It had to have been 10:30 before the sun got all the way set and it didn't cool off the whole night. So I spent a miserable night in my tent, laying on rocks and what I later found out were cow patties, butt neked and sweating because of the sticky heat, and spewing steaming Kansas City BBQ farts every thirty seconds. No wind was blowing. I got maybe four hours of sleep that night and hiked back out to the interstate through the knee high grass getting these annoying little burrs all over every inch of my clothing that I would spend the next week trying to get off. And the grass was wet as hell from the dew too so my shoes and socks were soaked by the time I got to the road, and I felt like I was dying of thirst. So I started walking, and walking, and walking with my thumb out hoping to find a gas station to get some water, but I made it maybe three miles or so before someone finally picked me up and drove me ten miles to the nearest truck stop. So now I'm still filthy and my soggy feet are killing me but at least I have some water and some crappy burger king breakfast in my stomach. With my spirits buoyed I walked out to the on ramp to try to catch a ride. Easier said than done in that redneck fucking state. I spent the next two and a half hours waiting and walking and sweating my balls off trying to catch a ride, until finally the car of my dreams rolled up. When you're waiting for a ride, or waiting for anything I guess, you play games with yourself to try to occupy your mind, and one of the games I liked to play was trying to predict which car would stop for me. I quickly learned to stereotype. Motor homes don't stop. Luxury cars don't stop. And minivans sure as hell don't stop. Your best bets are the poor looking cars, the more beat up the better. Well, I'm sitting on this on ramp maybe a mile from the truck stop I mentioned earlier when around the corner comes this primered out, dented up, thirty year old, all metal, beast of a car with a red and black star spray painted on the hood. Jackpot.I feel as though I'm losing momentum here so let me grab another beer and get back to this in a minute.
This story has entertainment written all over it. I can't wait to read the rest. Also, I don't pick up hitchikers. Dave does. He's braver than I.
Nikki/KristenYou are taking everyone a tad wrong, don't worry though, everyone does that with Brvy, but we are all delighted that you are posting here and continue to write whatever your heart pleases.What gets some of the other's goat is the heavy duty sexual innuendo posts that allude to shennanigans with other army members, but that's it.So please, stay, post whatever and enjoy. We like/want you here.Now go make me a sandwich
Sorry about the innuendo. I really didn't have any sex on my Vegas trip this year. I was telling the truth when I said I was slipping. If I do, in the future, I'll be sure not to mention it or innuendo it or whatever.
GET THE FUCK OUT.no I'm kidding. as everybody else has said, he didn't mean it like that. it's always good to have more people providing something to read, as long as they're not retards that is (I'm looking at YOU hank. you RETARD).I don't remember this so yes, please do.yeah, I think the thing is is that nobody is not allowed to post here; that's always been the thing. anybody can post. whether you get acknowledged or not is a whole other thing, but pretty much anybody can post as long as there's content of some sort.looks like caleb blacked out too. and I was just getting into the story.
Oh shit. If there has to be actual content, I'm in trouble. I'm going to have to step up my game. Thanks, guys.
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Still sick about the 2nd set tiebreaker. Poor Roddick. If he loses this thing, that one will haunt him forever.6-5 in the fifth. Another classic mens final at Wimbledon. Pretty sick run of great matches in the final.
that was horrible. 4 set points. Ughh.
Sorry about the innuendo. I really didn't have any sex on my Vegas trip this year. I was telling the truth when I said I was slipping. If I do, in the future, I'll be sure not to mention it or innuendo it or whatever.
actually, we don't mind you talking sexually, and I don't mind any of it, even the guys yapping or making creepy comments, but it bothers others when people that don't post in here just come in with a drop in and say stuff like "Yeah, and we really left a milky film in that hot tub when we were done huh? Stuff like that. I'm indifferent. Type whatever comes out of your head and fingers. People will deal. I tell live poker bad beats, Sbriand tells us apt rental woes, Speedz yaps about the vet office and getting high, Wang yammers on about math, probability and the english language, Strat talks about hockey. Brv posts about the damn swine flu and Guapo posts camping picture. Basically, what I'm getting at is this, we all basically suck, and if someone comes at you about your content, fire right back at them because chances are, they suck too. Now if you'll excuse me, eskimotube is calling me.
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no I'm kidding. as everybody else has said, he didn't mean it like that. it's always good to have more people providing something to read, as long as they're not retards that is (I'm looking at YOU hank. you RETARD).
retard_now.jpg
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