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I Called In Sick Today


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idk what I'm supposed to suck on, but I like your honesty. my brother got it in with top two vs. my broadway and got there on the turn. great main event practice, getting the muscles ready to lay beatings on unsuspecting faggots like me.
What a nerd. If you have the cash to play the main event why are you playing a 25c game? "It's just for practice." If this were real life you could tell I was saying that in my best retard/whiny nerd voice. Maybe it's just me, but I can't stay interested in a game if it doesn't hurt to lose.
I took my kids to the Rodeo tonight. I have never been to a rodeo before, and honestly I was not really looking forward to it. It was more for my son and the fireworks, but I am glad I went it was actually a lot of fun.It was Sal Paradise heaven. 16-19 year olds running around in 3 inch shorts and cowboy boots. MILF's trying to be extra cougarish. I think there was an unannounced chest off, because it was cleavage night in NorCal. The best was this 5 foot chick who was built like a an hour glass but a tad on the chunky side. She had on some Be Be sweat pants, and they so intimately associated with her pooper her butt only read B e.Pretty crazy to watch guys tackle cows. That was interesting to see live. One guy almost got gutted by a bull, so I almost had a really good time. Beers were only 5 bucks for 16OZ, but they were plastic bottle Coors, so I only had half a dozen or so. I hate country music, with a passion, and I was fully anticipating listening to Toby Keith all day. That was not the case, they were playing everything, and not much country at all. Hell one guy rode while Justin Timberlake was blasting.EDIT: I have Rose grammar in this post, but it will be too hard to fix and re-type, so deal with it.
Not bad. Makes me want to go to a rodeo. I was pretty redneck growing up so I went to one as a child, but I wasn't old enough to drink or check out the girls in the little shorts. I do recall hanging out in the livestock pavilion for a really long time though. There's nothing better than an evening spent ankle deep in cow shit.
Apparently I have forgotten how to play poker. In the span of about an hour, I:2) Managed to win the absolute minimum with top set vs. top two when both of us were pretty deep. With KK on a flop of KhQh2c, I led out for 5bb in a heads up pot, and the most passive player in the world, sitting with about 250 big blinds, minraised me. I 3-bet to 25ish BB. 3h on the turn, and I lead out for 25ish bb. He calls quickly, and on the Jx river, I shoot another 25bb. There is almost a zero percent chance he has a draw on that flop. There is absolutely zero chance the jack on the river promoted his hand past mine. His most likely holdings after the flop raise are, in order, KQ, 33, K3, Q3. When he calls my raise and calls the turn, he certainly has KQ or 33. My river bet might have been the absolute worst play I've ever made. I would have been better off moving in for 240 more big blinds after he raises me on the flop. Seriously. Leaving him with considerably more than half his stack left after he calls the river is just soooo bad.
I really wanted to make fun of this one, and especially the bolded part, but you took care of it for me. Nice job all around.
Did no one check out the Beatles covers I posted?
Yup.
Wow, what an incredible game.Matt's team got to the finals with a 7-0 record and played the No. 2 Steelers in the finals.Redskins got off to an 8-0 lead (two point convert for a pass, one point for a run). They make it 8-6, we go up 15-6 and on the final two plays of the half they go the length of the field and at the half we're up 15-13.Second half, they score first to go up 20-15. We get the ball to start the fourth quarter and march the length of the field. Three-minute whistle goes and we have the ball, third and goal on their 1-yd line. So with three plays left, we FUMBLE the damn snap and they get it back.So now there's time for maybe two plays. I'm thinking we get a safety then have one play to hope for the miracle. Instead, they FUMBLE THE DAMN THING BACK. So we get one shot at it and we punch it in for the go ahead score and a 21-20 win.Crazy.
What the fuck is this dude talking about?
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and after 3 days, he is risen!

If you are paying $20 for a haircut, I imagine people assume you did it yourself anyway.

Pocket change cost me my first and only black girlfriend.   It was in the middle of a roaring poker boom and I was flush in ways most men don't even bother dreaming of. Money, it was like dirt to me

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I really wanted to make fun of this one, and especially the bolded part, but you took care of it for me. Nice job all around.What the **** is this dude talking about?
Yeah, isn't that just the most wretchedly played hand you've ever seen? It took place in a 2-5 game in Detroit at a table with my best friend, who is a brilliant poker mind, and who knows that (a) I have never been a particularly good no limit player and that (b) I've barely played any poker in the last year. Even though he knows I'm rusty, when he saw the hands get turned over he started laughing so hard that he was stammering and crying. Somebody offered a genuine "nice hand" when the pot was getting shipped, and, though I'm usually gracious at the table, I just glared and frowned at him before taking a walk into the pit to cool off. I came back after around ten minutes, and my friend still couldn't control himself. All he could do is point to the money the horrible Asian man had left in front of him and try to catch his breath. A while back I thoroughly outplayed him at a no-limit/pot-limit round-by-round table -- something that will probably never, ever happen again, since he's close to world class and I'm barely a winning 1/2 player online -- so I took my winnings and bought him a massage at the casino ("rub it in") and then a trip to the acupuncturist the next day ("needle"). When I got back to my seat, a masseuse immediately walked over, paid for by KissyFace. "Oh my God look at all those chips!" I like to thing she was fed that line by my friend.I also have no idea what is going on in these NFL Football posts.Is this Turd? I never know what's going on with you. I can usually tell when this account isn't the Asian Dude that used to use it, I think, but why...? By the time I showed up around here, everybody already knew everything about Caleb/you, so I tried to gather whatever I could, but I disappeared for weeks at a time, so I never really figured anything out with the account switching and the passwords and the whateverIf this is CardWarfare: Uh, hey. Word up man.
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Yeah, isn't that just the most wretchedly played hand you've ever seen? It took place in a 2-5 game in Detroit at a table with my best friend, who is a brilliant poker mind, and who knows that (a) I have never been a particularly good no limit player and that (B) I've barely played any poker in the last year. Even though he knows I'm rusty, when he saw the hands get turned over he started laughing so hard that he was stammering and crying. Somebody offered a genuine "nice hand" when the pot was getting shipped, and, though I'm usually gracious at the table, I just glared and frowned at him before taking a walk into the pit to cool off. I came back after around ten minutes, and my friend still couldn't control himself. All he could do is point to the money the horrible Asian man had left in front of him and try to catch his breath. A while back I thoroughly outplayed him at a no-limit/pot-limit round-by-round table -- something that will probably never, ever happen again, since he's close to world class and I'm barely a winning 1/2 player online -- so I took my winnings and bought him a massage at the casino ("rub it in") and then a trip to the acupuncturist the next day ("needle"). When I got back to my seat, a masseuse immediately walked over, paid for by KissyFace. "Oh my God look at all those chips!" I like to thing she was fed that line by my friend.I also have no idea what is going on in these NFL Football posts.Is this Turd? I never know what's going on with you. I can usually tell when this account isn't the Asian Dude that used to use it, I think, but why...? By the time I showed up around here, everybody already knew everything about Caleb/you, so I tried to gather whatever I could, but I disappeared for weeks at a time, so I never really figured anything out with the account switching and the passwords and the whateverIf this is CardWarfare: Uh, hey. Word up man.
Yeah, obviously you felt he had a really strong hand or you wouldn't have three bet him on the flop so why didn't you hit him with a raise that stuck? I have no problem with the three bet, but if you're going to do it why don't you make it big enough to commit him or at least big enough to make the pot big enough so he can't get away on the turn. How many bb deep are the two of you? Anyway, it doesn't matter cause you know what you did. Did the NFL start already? What month is it, July? I'm confused. Yeah, this is Caleb. I can't get my other account to work so I just use this one sometimes. I can't remember why I have the password.
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Yeah, obviously you felt he had a really strong hand or you wouldn't have three bet him on the flop so why didn't you hit him with a raise that stuck? I have no problem with the three bet, but if you're going to do it why don't you make it big enough to commit him or at least big enough to make the pot big enough so he can't get away on the turn. How many bb deep are the two of you? Anyway, it doesn't matter cause you know what you did. Did the NFL start already? What month is it, July? I'm confused. Yeah, this is Caleb. I can't get my other account to work so I just use this one sometimes. I can't remember why I have the password.
Before I raised from the BB, I eyeballed his stack and figured he had about 1250 in front of him, and I had him covered.I think I can justify my flop play given the board, his range after he minraises, and the hands I'd seen him play. I led out for 25, he made it 50, and I made it 125. He could have had a hand like K9 or KJ or even AK, and if he does, he'll almost certainly call 75 more, but might not get caught up if I make it 150 more. My thought process was something like:"Alright, I'll be able to narrow his range considerably after this raise. If he's got a one-pair hand or bottom-two, I don't want to lose him. If he doesn't like his hand that much, I need to at least get SOME value here, since he's reopened the door. If he has a big hand, he might stick it in. If he doesn't, I'll probably know, and be able to get most of it in by the river." So I made a smallish raise, since if the board didn't get too ugly I'd be able to bomb away one one of the next two streets. The heart on the turn was my undoing. I knew that (a) he didn't have a flush and that (B) there was almost no chance he'd bet if checked to. So instead of making a big enough bet to get a call if I shoved the river -- 250 or 300 into the 300 dollar pot -- I got irrationally worried that he'd find a fold on a now-"scary" board, and only fired 125. My secondary concern was: If a 4th heart binks off on the river, I want him to have enough behind to muck a small heart (for example, if he holds 2h2x) if I shove. That secondary concern was: stupid, for many reasons. Not making a much larger bet on the turn was a huge mistake. So instead of being able to bet 650 into an 800 dollar pot -- or just move in for 850 or whatever I have left -- I'm left with like 1000 behind and a 600 dollar pot. Then, just because I wanted to play every single street worse than the one before it, I fired 125 more instead of (in descending order of not-suckingness): 1) moving in 2) betting the pot 3) mucking my hand before acting so I could save myself the embarrassment. Again, I could have just reraised from 50 to 1250 and been better off given his likely range, and my obvious inability to play with even semi-deep stacks anymore.
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The thread has a totally different feel with all these new people/army people posting. Cane and VB should tell stories about how they suck or something before they are allowed to post again.Also, there should be a new rule against any soccer or hockey posts.
Okay, seriously, I can skeedaddle, if you'd prefer. I won't even mope or complain or whatever. If I'm harshing your sickie groove, I can hit the road back to my own thread. It's just, in the Summer, I don't work, so I get all the army stuff read and come over here. It used to be hard to keep up in there, but a number of posters can't post from work anymore, so our post numbers have been dropping.You guys are entertaining, but I know that we army folk weird you out, so if you'd like, I'll get out of here. Just let me know.
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Okay, seriously, I can skeedaddle, if you'd prefer. I won't even mope or complain or whatever. If I'm harshing your sickie groove, I can hit the road back to my own thread. It's just, in the Summer, I don't work, so I get all the army stuff read and come over here. It used to be hard to keep up in there, but a number of posters can't post from work anymore, so our post numbers have been dropping.You guys are entertaining, but I know that we army folk weird you out, so if you'd like, I'll get out of here. Just let me know.
I don't really give a shit. Of course, I don't think I qualify as "a sickie." Well, at least not in terms of posting here.I'm of a mind that anyone should post wherever the **** they want. Except rose. This place needs a tard forum like the rogan board.
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The thread has a totally different feel with all these new people/army people posting. Cane and VB should tell stories about how they suck or something before they are allowed to post again.Also, there should be a new rule against any soccer or hockey posts.
Do I need to repost the story of how I dropped a turd on the MRI room floor?
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Okay, seriously, I can skeedaddle, if you'd prefer. I won't even mope or complain or whatever. If I'm harshing your sickie groove, I can hit the road back to my own thread. It's just, in the Summer, I don't work, so I get all the army stuff read and come over here. It used to be hard to keep up in there, but a number of posters can't post from work anymore, so our post numbers have been dropping.You guys are entertaining, but I know that we army folk weird you out, so if you'd like, I'll get out of here. Just let me know.
I don't think Braveheart was trying to kick you out. Even if he was, don't worry; he doesn't have the authority. There are rules, however, so for anybody who hasn't introduced himself properly: get to writing.
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I don't think Braveheart was trying to kick you out. Even if he was, don't worry; he doesn't have the authority. There are rules, however, so for anybody who hasn't introduced himself properly: get to writing.
Are the rules on the first page? If someone wouldn't mind directing me to the rules, I'd be much obliged. Thanks.
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Okay, seriously, I can skeedaddle, if you'd prefer. I won't even mope or complain or whatever. If I'm harshing your sickie groove, I can hit the road back to my own thread. It's just, in the Summer, I don't work, so I get all the army stuff read and come over here. It used to be hard to keep up in there, but a number of posters can't post from work anymore, so our post numbers have been dropping.You guys are entertaining, but I know that we army folk weird you out, so if you'd like, I'll get out of here. Just let me know.
I've never had a problem with you at all. I actually like having a girl around, now that LG is gone.
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Yeah, this is Caleb. I can't get my other account to work so I just use this one sometimes. I can't remember why I have the password.
Isn't there a 'forgot my password' link somewhere?
I don't think Braveheart was trying to kick you out.
correct.
Even if he was, don't worry; he doesn't have the authority.
Bastard.
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Before I raised from the BB, I eyeballed his stack and figured he had about 1250 in front of him, and I had him covered.I think I can justify my flop play given the board, his range after he minraises, and the hands I'd seen him play. I led out for 25, he made it 50, and I made it 125. He could have had a hand like K9 or KJ or even AK, and if he does, he'll almost certainly call 75 more, but might not get caught up if I make it 150 more. My thought process was something like:"Alright, I'll be able to narrow his range considerably after this raise. If he's got a one-pair hand or bottom-two, I don't want to lose him. If he doesn't like his hand that much, I need to at least get SOME value here, since he's reopened the door. If he has a big hand, he might stick it in. If he doesn't, I'll probably know, and be able to get most of it in by the river."
I think what the small third bet does is tell him you have a big hand without getting him to put any real money in the pot and letting him draw cheap. I've seen a lot of weak no limit players use the limit trick of raising on the flop hoping to get a blank checked to them on the turn so they can get it for free. I think you ought to either smooth call his min-raise and plan to lead the turn regardless of what comes or make a decent sized third bet. Not your whole stack. That's silly, but something like 200 at least. Personally, I would have made it like $250 on the flop. That way you can hope to apply some real pressure and get a feel for his hand. It's tough for me to feel someone out if the raise doesn't make them think. Plus there is the added bonus with that size bet that he'll think you're trying to bluff him especially if you're an aggressive player, which you ought to be or you likely aren't winning. It's really hard to say though. With no limit so much of it is feel, and of course I don't know the player. I just have a habit of making much larger raises and bets than that. You're absolutely right though, the heart on the turn stifled you.
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Are the rules on the first page? If someone wouldn't mind directing me to the rules, I'd be much obliged. Thanks.
Welcome.We'll let you get away with one or two "testing the water" posts, but at least one of your next three has to be a long, uncomfortable story about how you could have gotten sexing in high school and/or college but blew it when the chips were on the table.'Tis the price of admission to the Sick Thread. No smilies allowed, if you talk about a hot female celebrity you must post a picture of said hot female celebrity, minimal political talk, there is no such sport as hockey here, and if Sal Paradise offers to give you a private tour, YOU AREN'T INTERESTED.
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failing that, there must be a way to reverse what the mods did when he asked them to disable his account
agreed. Gov or DNA would take care of this quickly, I would assume.
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I seem to recall nikki telling a story about how she got too puky drunk to get a guy to bang her. I have a feeling that's about the best we're gonna get from a female.

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I never told a story about missing out on sex. I never had a real shot at it. I was thinking about who I'd be if the Internet weren't here to entertain me. I would be more outgoing, for starters. I also believe I'd be way less informed on virtually everything. I probably wouldn't listen to much music, wouldn't follow hockey, and might even be majoring in architecture or something. such a stupidly huge number of changes in my life have come as a direct result of staring at glowing rectangles.

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Yeah, this is Caleb
Give us a short story if you have time....
I seem to recall nikki telling a story about how she got too puky drunk to get a guy to bang her.
Yeah, I figured that was sufficient....In other news, the kid and I just got back from flying around town at low altitude watching fireworks. Im pretty sure were were fired upon at least twice
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I never told a story about missing out on sex.
Yeah, but the plane could have been delayed or something, so I blame the airline for that....BA-DA-BOOOOOM-CHING-CHANG-CHONG-HONG-HONK-PHOOEY!....the kid was flying.....I was drinking
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Give us a short story if you have time....Yeah, I figured that was sufficient....In other news, the kid and I just got back from flying around town at low altitude watching fireworks. Im pretty sure were were fired upon at least twice
Beans, you strike me as the type that would make their own fireworks. Ever undertaken such a project and, if so, were the results as hilarious as I imagine?
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Beans, you strike me as the type that would make their own fireworks. Ever undertaken such a project and, if so, were the results as hilarious as I imagine?
It is funny you said this, as I saw sickinfo2 italicized, that is what I was expecting the result of the post to be.
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Apparently I have forgotten how to play poker. In the span of about an hour, I:1) Check/shoved for 70 big blinds with a flush draw against a loose-passive player. There were like 30 big blinds in the pot when I moved in. I would have received a free-card a good portion of the time, and if I made my hand on the turn, he would have played all-in by the river with anything remotely connected to the board.2) Managed to win the absolute minimum with top set vs. top two when both of us were pretty deep. With KK on a flop of KhQh2c, I led out for 5bb in a heads up pot, and the most passive player in the world, sitting with about 250 big blinds, minraised me. I 3-bet to 25ish BB. 3h on the turn, and I lead out for 25ish bb. He calls quickly, and on the Jx river, I shoot another 25bb. There is almost a zero percent chance he has a draw on that flop. There is absolutely zero chance the jack on the river promoted his hand past mine. His most likely holdings after the flop raise are, in order, KQ, 33, K3, Q3. When he calls my raise and calls the turn, he certainly has KQ or 33. My river bet might have been the absolute worst play I've ever made. I would have been better off moving in for 240 more big blinds after he raises me on the flop. Seriously. Leaving him with considerably more than half his stack left after he calls the river is just soooo bad.3) Stacked off with Kd9d on a board of 7d7sTd 3d. In a limped pot, the flop got checked around. SB bets 5bb, solid player calls, I raise to 13bb. The original bettor, who is tilted, insta-shoves for a total of 50bb. Solid player calls AGAIN. I MOVE IN (??) for an additional 50bb. I have no idea why I didn't instamuck this hand, let alone make a suicide-raise, against a solid player whose range is something like 3's Full+, and maybe AdXd or QdXd, when he calls a bet, then calls a raise/3-bet shove with a raiser still behind him. When I made the first raise, I remember thinking, "If the good player gets the money in, I have an easy fold here." Of course I did the exact opposite. My play was so bad that the solid player took about 2 minutes before calling and saying, "Man, I have no idea how I can be ahead here" and tabling 33. My line was so bad that it almost worked as a bluff... I need to either stay retired from poker, or play 20 hours a month so I don't have to deal with this crap.
I mean, when you assume that his range for min raising/calling your 3 bet is like made hands opposed to draws it's the easiest hand ever. You barely have to sweat the ugly cards, as it rarely changes the hands at all. If he's as passive as described you can just bomb the turn and river and fold to a raise very easily (although he's pretty much raising never). Second one is a ****ing brain exploder.
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