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I Called In Sick Today


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Hot tub, lol... dirty things happened in other places... JS.
Okay, you're ramping up. I'm slipping. I'm going to go make dirty things happen in my bed.Good night.
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and after 3 days, he is risen!

If you are paying $20 for a haircut, I imagine people assume you did it yourself anyway.

Pocket change cost me my first and only black girlfriend.   It was in the middle of a roaring poker boom and I was flush in ways most men don't even bother dreaming of. Money, it was like dirt to me

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Let me expand on my previous post:I have no problem with the Army stuff, as long as it stays in its own little hermetically-sealed bubble. Nikki, I have no problem with you. You're a strange woman, an anorexic former stripper who named her son after a character from a semi-obscure series of fantasy novels. Your blatant sexuality disturbs me, but that's my issue, and it's something I can put aside since you seem valuable enough, otherwise.Jadaki, I have never been your biggest fan. I vaguely remember arguing with you about sports, and wanting to gouge my eyes out with a spoon because your arguments descended into a kind of impossible illogic that made the thought of reading another word anathema. But I don't seek you out or anything, because you're mostly uninteresting, and no bigger idiot than countless other boring clowns that clog up the hallways around here. I'm sure you either hate me or don't care about me at all or blah blah blah you think I'm sad, so you can skip that in your response if you choose to post one. Just do me a favor: don't bring that shit here, to my home, where my children play with their toys. Keep your disgusting ugly-people-orgy-innuendo in the Army thread where it belongs.

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Let me expand on my previous post:I have no problem with the Army stuff, as long as it stays in its own little hermetically-sealed bubble. Nikki, I have no problem with you. You're a strange woman, an anorexic former stripper who named her son after a character from a semi-obscure series of fantasy novels. Your blatant sexuality disturbs me, but that's my issue, and it's something I can put aside since you seem valuable enough, otherwise.Jadaki, I have never been your biggest fan. I vaguely remember arguing with you about sports, and wanting to gouge my eyes out with a spoon because your arguments descended into a kind of impossible illogic that made the thought of reading another word anathema. But I don't seek you out or anything, because you're mostly uninteresting, and no bigger idiot than countless other boring clowns that clog up the hallways around here. I'm sure you either hate me or don't care about me at all or blah blah blah you think I'm sad, so you can skip that in your response if you choose to post one. Just do me a favor: don't bring that shit here, to my home, where my children play with their toys. Keep your disgusting ugly-people-orgy-innuendo in the Army thread where it belongs.
Yeah, but did you see Beans mock up? Ingenious. Especially that fact it is multipurpose and can also accommodate road sodas.
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Let me expand on my previous post:I have no problem with the Army stuff, as long as it stays in its own little hermetically-sealed bubble. Nikki, I have no problem with you. You're a strange woman, an anorexic former stripper who named her son after a character from a semi-obscure series of fantasy novels. Your blatant sexuality disturbs me, but that's my issue, and it's something I can put aside since you seem valuable enough, otherwise.Just do me a favor: don't bring that shit here, to my home, where my children play with their toys. Keep your disgusting ugly-people-orgy-innuendo in the Army thread where it belongs.
Vegas trip report:HighlightsDrunk Henry flirted with me. I'M TICKLISH!
I'm pretty sure there is no video proof of this.
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Everybody was rocking and roaring. Galatea and Marie with beer ... in their hands were standing on their chairs, shaking and jumping. Groups of colored guys stumbled in from the street, falling over one another to get there. "Stay with it, man!" roared a man with a foghorn voice, and let out a big groan that must have been heard clear out in Sacramento, ah-haa! "Whoo!" said Dean. He was rubbing his chest, his belly; the sweat splashed from his face. Boom, kick, that drummer was kicking his drums down the cellar and rolling the beat upstairs with his murderous sticks, rattlety-boom! A big fat man was jumping on the platform, making it sag and creak. "Yoo!" The pianist was only pounding the keys with spread-eagled fingers, chords, at intervals when the great tenorman was drawing breath for another blast - Chinese chords, shuddering the piano in every timber, chink, and wire, boing! The tenorman jumped down from the platform and stood in the crowd, blowing around; his hat was over his eyes; somebody pushed it back for him. He just hauled back and stamped his foot and blew down a hoarse, laughing blast, and drew breath, and raised the horn and blew high, wide, and screaming in the air. Dean was directly in front of him with his face lowered to the bell of the horn, clapping his hands, pouring sweat on the man’s keys, and the man noticed and laughed in his horn a long quivering crazy laugh, and everybody else laughed and they rocked and rocked; and finally the tenorman decided to blow his top and crouched down and held a note in high C for a long time as everything else crashed along and the cries increased and I thought the cops would come swarming from the nearest precinct. Dean was in a trance. The tenorman’s eyes were fixed straight on him; he had a madman who not only understood but cared and wanted to understand more and much more than there was, and they began dueling for this; everything came out of the horn, no more phrases, just cries, cries, "Baugh" and down to "Beep!" and up to "EEEEE!" and down to clinkers and over to sideways-echoing horn-sounds. He tried everything, up, down, sideways, upside down, horizontal, thirty degrees, forty degrees, and finally he fell back in somebody’s arms and gave up and everybody pushed around and yelled, "Yes! Yes! Heblowed that one!" Dean wiped himself with his handkerchief.
Man, for the longest time I've been wanting to make a Dean Moriarty account just so I could respond to every one of your posts with "Yes, yes, yes! Blow!" Or if I'm feeling a little distracted or annoyed with you just, "Yes, yass, yass...."
Enhance.Enhance.Enhance.
This was always one of my favorite moves in the 90's action movies. Second only to the extremely fast, intense typing. Remember that movie Swordfish where they're trying to test the hacker guy's abilities so they have a gun to his head while he's trying to hack this unhackable, somehow amazing looking 3D website......while getting his dick sucked? And he doesn't even use the mouse the whole time. He just mashes the keys at like six hundred words per minute while sweat pours down his face. Awesome stuff.
the white zone is for loading and unloading.
Hi. It's me again, the Central Scrutinizer.
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Have you guys seen that Carl's Jr. commercial where the girl is eating the teryaki hamburger on the beach in a bikini? So sexy.audrina-patridge-060509-m.jpgGod, I wanna fuck that burger.

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Well it wasn't West Nile Virus. Thanks Beans!We still don't know what he had, it lasted over a week. It also was not the flu. Right now it is still categorized as a fever from and unknown source.He ha been fever free for 2 days almost, so only a 10 day sickness. They are going to re-run some test in a month to see if there is anything serious, but at this point it does not seem like it. I was at the point where I was hoping it was West Nile, because then we would know what it is and once he recovered he would be fine.
It was probably mono.
Thats pretty accurate around my household...
I'm probably still laughing at this.
"You gotta let kids make their own mistakes.... :tounge click:"-Cousin Cathrine, Vegas Vacation
That movie has a quote that makes sense in any situation.
Vegas Vacation is so so good.Vacation Movies:1. Vegas2. Christmas3. #14. European (Look kids... there's Big Ben. Parliament.)
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macular degeneration
I was gonna comment on this since it was what I originally said but then you guys started quoting Airplane which is a movie I've only seen like half of and only once for some reason so I got scared that you guys were making some sort of joke that I didn't get and I didn't want to look stupid so instead I'll just say hi dawson how's it going.
Let me expand on my previous post:I have no problem with the Army stuff, as long as it stays in its own little hermetically-sealed bubble. Nikki, I have no problem with you. You're a strange woman, an anorexic former stripper who named her son after a character from a semi-obscure series of fantasy novels. Your blatant sexuality disturbs me, but that's my issue, and it's something I can put aside since you seem valuable enough, otherwise.Jadaki, I have never been your biggest fan. I vaguely remember arguing with you about sports, and wanting to gouge my eyes out with a spoon because your arguments descended into a kind of impossible illogic that made the thought of reading another word anathema. But I don't seek you out or anything, because you're mostly uninteresting, and no bigger idiot than countless other boring clowns that clog up the hallways around here. I'm sure you either hate me or don't care about me at all or blah blah blah you think I'm sad, so you can skip that in your response if you choose to post one. Just do me a favor: don't bring that shit here, to my home, where my children play with their toys. Keep your disgusting ugly-people-orgy-innuendo in the Army thread where it belongs.
inYOURendo
Man, for the longest time I've been wanting to make a Dean Moriarty account just so I could respond to every one of your posts with "Yes, yes, yes! Blow!" Or if I'm feeling a little distracted or annoyed with you just, "Yes, yass, yass...."
man, that would've been sweet. it's been a long time since I've read that book though. I really should do it again.oh, and can somebody please explain strat's "enhance" thing. I have no idea what it means.
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man, that would've been sweet. it's been a long time since I've read that book though. I really should do it again.oh, and can somebody please explain strat's "enhance" thing. I have no idea what it means.
Yeah, I love it. I assumed it was making fun of those crappy movies where someone would be trying to solve a crime or something, and the only clue they would have would be this blurry security footage. And they would be watching it, and then all the sudden the main dude (usually nick cage or somebody like that) would say, "Wait! Back it up a couple seconds! Now rotate 90 degrees. See that guy in the back behind the craps table? Zoom in on his face. Enhance..enhance......enhance! That's the guy! We've got 'im boys, let's roll." That's what I thought, but I could be way off.
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oh yeah, I remember that (and it always was nic cage too, wasn't it?) and I always loved how even in the early nineties these local police departments had the technology to enhance crappy photos by like 1000x. of course now denzel washington can go back in time, but that's a whole other discussion.

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oh yeah, I remember that (and it always was nic cage too, wasn't it?) and I always loved how even in the early nineties these local police departments had the technology to enhance crappy photos by like 1000x. of course now denzel washington can go back in time, but that's a whole other discussion.
I remember this one will smith movie (maybe Enemy of the State) where they did something similar with a video from a lingerie store. Somehow they were able to rotate the image to see the side of the person facing away from the camera. Victoria's Secret has some high-tech shit going on. Speaking of whom, my friend's mom told him the other day that I remind her of Denzel Washington. I'm like the goofiest, whitest dude ever, but somehow that's what she thinks. I guess she just picked up on the sexiness. Then, a few days later she told him she also thinks I look like the dude that does the Allstate commercials. So now every time I see her I let her know that her son is in good hands.
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I was gonna comment on this since it was what I originally said but then you guys started quoting Airplane which is a movie I've only seen like half of and only once for some reason so I got scared that you guys were making some sort of joke that I didn't get and I didn't want to look stupid so instead I'll just say hi dawson how's it going.
Since I've had nothing funny to add for a while now I was going to selectively repost exact posts of yours and not respond to anything else. I planned on doing this for years, if not months. Turns out I don't have the patience needed to pull of a grand scheme like this. Grand scheme it was indeed.
Enhance..enhance......enhance! That's the guy! We've got 'im boys, let's roll." That's what I thought, but I could be way off.
We always quoted the "Enhance...enhance...enhance" from SuperTroopers..every time the teacher came up behind me in HS keyboarding class I'd start doing the "enhance" thing - he had no idea would get so pissed. Wow that was a bad story...back to secretly quoting Sal I guess.
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That's too bad, I sort of like you. I was just making fun of Nik so relax.
just drink the damn kool-aid and admit Lebron James rules. This can all go away......
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Let me expand on my previous post:I have no problem with the Army stuff, as long as it stays in its own little hermetically-sealed bubble. Nikki, I have no problem with you. You're a strange woman, an anorexic former stripper who named her son after a character from a semi-obscure series of fantasy novels. Your blatant sexuality disturbs me, but that's my issue, and it's something I can put aside since you seem valuable enough, otherwise.Jadaki, I have never been your biggest fan. I vaguely remember arguing with you about sports, and wanting to gouge my eyes out with a spoon because your arguments descended into a kind of impossible illogic that made the thought of reading another word anathema. But I don't seek you out or anything, because you're mostly uninteresting, and no bigger idiot than countless other boring clowns that clog up the hallways around here. I'm sure you either hate me or don't care about me at all or blah blah blah you think I'm sad, so you can skip that in your response if you choose to post one. Just do me a favor: don't bring that shit here, to my home, where my children play with their toys. Keep your disgusting ugly-people-orgy-innuendo in the Army thread where it belongs.
I love waking up to a jaw-dropping post. And right after this exchange:Speedz: Dude, what the fuck? Who calls a friend and wakes them up to talk about nothing?Friend: How do you know I have nothing to talk about? And it's fucking 11:00, who's still sleeping at 11:00 on a Friday?Speedz: Do you not know me?Friend: Well anyway, I have chlamydia.Speedz: Again?
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I love waking up to a jaw-dropping post. And right after this exchange:Speedz: Dude, what the fuck? Who calls a friend and wakes them up to talk about nothing?Friend: How do you know I have nothing to talk about? And it's fucking 11:00, who's still sleeping at 11:00 on a Friday?Speedz: Do you not know me?Friend: Well anyway, I have chlamydia.Speedz: Again?
:club:
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What is this? A couple army people drop by to say hi and the all the rules go out the window? Hell, on a day with Caleb here too. For shame, ser.
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Thank god.
Relax. I said I was slipping. It was innocent.
Hey! Unnecessary.
No kidding. Like these guys are Abercrombie models or something. I think Abercrombie models look like fags.
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