I Called In Sick Today

[Sickinfo2 291]

I really am not that funny in real life. I have some snappy comments occasionally but on the whole I'm pretty boring.

You fail to realize just how humor deprived the average person really is....I had an entire hardware store rolling at what I thought to be serious comments yesterday...."Hows it going today?""Ah...pretty good I guess....if it gets any hotter I guess Ill ride a fuckin camel up here next time"(everyone in line starts laughing)"Im not kiddin.... I wouldnt be the only guy in town riding a manure spreader"(more laughs)"Really..... I actually saw a guy on ****in horseback at the Sonic yesterday""I SAW THAT GUY, TOO!""Im glad I wasnt the only one.... can you imagine some guy taking the family out for an ice cream..... pulls up to the menu board, presses the button, and has to explain to the kids why a goddamn horse is spraying shit from under its tail in the next parking spot?"(big display of laughter....even the elderly lady that was frowning due to my cursing started giggling)(Beans turns to leave and adds one more comment halfway out the door)"Ill bet junior didnt want a ****ing chocolate cone after that Animal Planet episode"I could hear the hoots and hollers all the way to the car....

Oh and since Deb is away I'll probably drink a 6 pack tonight and play poker. Sickie tourney?

[Randy Reed 0]

currently playing sngs on FTP. Every time I have don't a C-bet, I've been raised. The only three pots I've played. SIgh

I haven't had the time to play much lately. I used to donk around at work in the evenings when itwas slow playing .50 limit and such but the variance is so wild and I was constantly getting in and out of the game it was tough to get any reads or anything. Whatever. I slowly donked a bunch of my bankrollaway to about $30 finally. In the last week I played 2 $10 sngs and won them both. Jumped in a limit game the night I was up for the colonoscopy and made $30 and just got off a table where I made another $30 in a few minutes.Up to $170 now, lol.

[strategy 4]

and oh, this is the song I was thinking of. Cute russian pseudo lesbos

that was such a stupid gimmick band, and it totally worked. who would've thought america was so easy to fool.

[Randy Reed 0]

You fail to realize just how humor deprived the average person really is....I had an entire hardware store rolling at what I thought to be serious comments yesterday...."Hows it going today?""Ah...pretty good I guess....if it gets any hotter I guess Ill ride a fuckin camel up here next time"(everyone in line starts laughing)"Im not kiddin.... I wouldnt be the only guy in town riding a manure spreader"(more laughs)"Really..... I actually saw a guy on ****in horseback at the Sonic yesterday""I SAW THAT GUY, TOO!""Im glad I wasnt the only one.... can you imagine some guy taking the family out for an ice cream..... pulls up to the menu board, presses the button, and has to explain to the kids why a goddamn horse is spraying shit from under its tail in the next parking spot?"(big display of laughter....even the elderly lady that was frowning due to my cursing started giggling)(Beans turns to leave and adds one more comment halfway out the door)"Ill bet junior didnt want a ****ing chocolate cone after that Animal Planet episode"I could hear the hoots and hollers all the way to the car....

I AM NOT TAKING METAMUCIL!!!!much

[strategy 4]

I much prefer this female russian artist: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J9rqQYuXExI

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

currently playing sngs on FTP. Every time I have don't a C-bet, I've been raised. The only three pots I've played. SIgh

hey, did you win one race tonight chris? No Chris, not one. Blanked over 12 outs twice and lost every pp vs AK. Yay for poker. Does anyone ever fade the AK with Queens or less? Ever?

that was such a stupid gimmick band, and it totally worked. who would've thought america was so easy to fool.

:raises hand:Young cute girls kissing. Ummm, duhh

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

I much prefer this female russian artist: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J9rqQYuXExI

I think my buddy told me about her a while ago. Not bad, a bit too off beat for me but I'll give more songs a tryedit: Just texted him and she had an album drop today, yo

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

Pete from Rochester, that was a gay question the other day about what pro athlete would make a good poker player. You're better than that.

[strategy 4]

I think my buddy told me about her a while ago. Not bad, a bit too off beat for me but I'll give more songs a tryedit: Just texted him and she had an album drop today, yo

REALLY?

[Sal Paradise 57]

still weighing your friend request, bud. rocketdoug is also stuck in the queue.

and it took me what, 30 minutes? hmm. gotta tell ya, the coolness emanates fellas, it really emanates.

I really am not that funny in real life. I have some snappy comments occasionally but on the whole I'm pretty boring.

I'm pretty much like this too. I can't come up with actually funny stuff on the spot; I have to have a little bit to think about it so I can only really be funny on here (sometimes).

oh yeah, I really liked that song back then.

that was such a stupid gimmick band, and it totally worked. who would've thought america was so easy to fool.

oh.I was kidding.

[Bizzle 0]

Pete from Rochester, that was a gay question the other day about what pro athlete would make a good poker player. You're better than that.

Wasn't me! Was actually a buddy of mine who works in Chicago pretending to be me, the bastard.I've been Jerome from AC in a few of them as well, I liked that gimmick.

[brvheart 1,755]

I was PISSED that no one gave me any eval for that comment. thank you.I really am not that funny in real life. I have some snappy comments occasionally but on the whole I'm pretty boring.

I still try to imagine your old av and title. I love that scene in P, T, & A so much.

I much prefer this female russian artist: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J9rqQYuXExI

I really enjoy Regina Spektor.

[SAM_Hard8 50]

ship it, I have stuff to trade withGood stuffwe'll talk when you bet back from Vegas. haha

I have the nude on the bar pics from last year.

[strategy 4]

I watched some of Jimmy Fallon last night. parts were comically bad, others not. I have newfound respect for the roots, as they basically carry his whole show...

[renaedawn 1]

...then it would have been some extra LB's, amirite?

Huh? Wanna explain that or want me to just keep thinking what I think you mean?

[El Guapo 8]

I watched some of Jimmy Fallon last night. parts were comically bad, others not. I have newfound respect for the roots, as they basically carry his whole show...

Are you saying that The Roots are Jimmy Fallon's house band?

[strategy 4]

Are you saying that The Roots are Jimmy Fallon's house band?

yes, and they almost get more screen time than he does. they're pretty funny.

[brvheart 1,755]

Huh? Wanna explain that or want me to just keep thinking what I think you mean?

It was just a continuation of Wang's joke from like 10 pages ago.... except not funny. Also, it wasn't really about you, except for the fact that you're a girl.

[renaedawn 1]

It was just a coniuantion of Wang's joke from like 10 pages ago.... except not funny. Also, it wasn't really about you, except for the fact that you're a girl.

I remember the joke. So then what would the L stand for?

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

REALLY?

stealing music is baaad. pay the artist for her work dammit

Wasn't me! Was actually a buddy of mine who works in Chicago pretending to be me, the bastard.I've been Jerome from AC in a few of them as well, I liked that gimmick.

yeah, I always like the Jerome from AC. I wonder how many people get that? I guess if you're reading a poker chat, probably a few get it.

I have the nude on the bar pics from last year.

I've got better than that buddy, but hey, I'll take em

Huh? Wanna explain that or want me to just keep thinking what I think you mean?

hahaha, when I read that, I knew what you'd think. LBs. hahaJesus, Love Actually is such a great movie

[strategy 4]

stealing music is baaad. pay the artist for her work dammit

artists make a pittance from record sales. I'll go to a concert if she tours near me.

[renaedawn 1]

I've got better than that buddy, but hey, I'll take emhahaha, when I read that, I knew what you'd think. LBs. haha

Then explain it to me dammit!Are you bartering with anything I sent you? I don't think so because I don't think I've sent you anything better than topless on the bar but maybe I was drunk and have conveniently forgotten my juvenile behavior in my embarassment?

[renaedawn 1]

artists make a pittance from record sales. I'll go to a concert if she tours near me.

This is true enough but it's not always about the money. They need the numbers. RIAA certified albums are hard to come by in this age of downloads.

[speedz99 145]

I forget what this was a picture of, but apparently I enjoyed it.

But it's part of your charm, at least for me. I picture you having this super dry wit and sense of humor with a tad of bitterness and sarcasm thrown in.

I always picture strat as having the ability to inject the wit/bitterness/sarcasm thing into any situation, but being fairly softspoken in most situation. I also picture him throwing out some really funny shit once in a while when his tongue gets ahead of his brain. That's what I picture, and nothing nobody says is gonna change my mind. NOTHING!

When I went to bed last night there was a little hand-written note on my pillow with a kind of goofy portrait of me and my dog. It said "This is better than what you posted. -Beans". I smiled but my wife wasn't too comfortable with the whole thing; it took a while to convince her not to call the police.

This was great.

He... wants me to work with him for the next six months consulting for an Chinese company which is considering coming to the US. It sounds like a pretty big deal for an undergraduate student at Retard University. He mentioned it briefly in class, and it would involve being, in part, a direct representative of the company on US soil. I would be doing research, building models, and coming up with (or at least tinkering with) their model for their venture plans spanning the next 12-24 months.The kicker? At least TWO trips to China. Two trips to China, one of which would almost certainly be alone, acting as the Good Professor's surrogate while he handles responsibilities back here. You know what's really ****ed up? I am seriously considering it. I haven't responded yet, and I have no idea if I'd be able to afford it, or if I'd have to take significant time off from work and school, but it sounds like a pretty sweet opportunity. If I'm going to be a gopher-lackey -- getting coffee, printing stuff out, collating and sorting and filing -- then I'd probably pass, but if I'd get any access at all, and it sounds as if I might, I'd have to consider it, right? I'm 25, waaaay behind the curve in terms of my professional progress at my age, but something like this would be incredibly valuable on a resume, not to mention the potential of making contacts, or the actual experience and learning I could do.Any of you guys have any feedback for the Wangman? Wang

You know, the extraordinarily easy answer to this is, of course, to do it. That's what everyone will tell you, and at first glance they'll all be correct. The problem, as shown over the past two days, is that you require a different level of...I can't seem to clearly spell out what I want to say here. My point is that I'm going to think this one over, and then make a solo post about it.

Lord John Marbury from The West Wing. CIA operative, undercover as Lord John Marbury from The West Wing undercover as a small-town hick-about-town that everybody knows is really 60% The Godfather +25% Robin Hood + 15% Don-Rickles-pretending-to-be-Ron-White.

Awesome.

*- For example, I had a weird daydream while driving home from campus yesterday. It was about Braveheart. I was doing Napa's job, except I was living in his house, and I met his wife. We had a long discussion about religion, during which I assured his wife that, yes, I am a heathen, but I will follow the rules of the house, and always treat their beliefs with respect. There was other stuff, too. I think I imagined myself telling Mrs. Braveheart the story about Maggie and the Catholic Cross tattoo, but instead of her bending over my seat to give me head, she was leaning over my seat to push my chair back. I didn't know if Mrs. Braveheart would appreciate talk of premarital car blowjobs in her house, especially since she just met me.

Sad as it may be, I'm honestly very happy that I'm not the only person to have ridiculously intricate (sp?) daydreams like this.

[speedz99 145]

Praising god for all good things in her life. on her facebook, was always sending out faith and religious stuff. No problem with the sexing, but not what anyone would call wild in the sack.does. not. compute.

I know, right? She only selectively follows the bible. Someone get JC on the horn and let him know he's lost another one! I think he's down to less than a dozen people that follow every single word in his Big Black Book.

oh so speedz mentioned this but erik's assertion that we are all mildly uncomfortable with the army people is pretty inaccurate. I like reading stuff from Nikki and Renae and Jeff and Voldy and I forget the others. basically anyone but Erik.

lol

Would it be wrong to mention I saw Marley and Me about now?

And? How many tears, Randy?

John 1:1John 1:7Romans 6:23Romans 3:23Ephesians 2:8-9, John 3:16Acts 16:31, John 3:3, Titus 3:5, 1 John 1:9Matthew 5:28

You did who to my what now?

goddammit

I don't have anything to add, just wanted to let you know that I read and appreciated your posts today.

Oh and since Deb is away I'll probably drink a 6 pack tonight and play poker. Sickie tourney?

...I may be down for that in a few hours.

I watched some of Jimmy Fallon last night. parts were comically bad, others not. I have newfound respect for the roots, as they basically carry his whole show...

I caught 3 minutes of the show...long enough to watch The Roots kill (in a good way) during a segment and invent the word "Afridelphian". I figured that would be the apex of the show and changed the channel.