I Called In Sick Today

[Quacktastic 106]

It was just a brief response to the story...if I had the searching powers of an Ouch or a JJJ, I'd go find it.

Once JJJ gets caught up he should be able to help you...

[speedz99 145]

Once JJJ gets caught up he should be able to help you...

sigh

[El Guapo 8]

Every month or two I get an e mail from classmates.com saying that I have new signatures to my guest book. I have no information on there, except my name.I am curious to see who those people are, but not enough to spend $15. Do people really pay to belong to that, when their are free sties like Facebook and Myspace out there?

[JubilantLankyLad 1,957]

I have no idea when I'm going to make it up there again. Maybe not this week. My right tonsil is still the size of a golf ball.When you do the books tomorrow just take some money as a payout and buy a cheap keyboard and mouse. I guess wireless is preferred, so it might be like $40 or whatever at Staples or Best Buy or Sam's. Don't spend more than $40 unless you call me, because I could probably get something online.

conducting work communications through the sick thread, where we pride ourselves on not working, is just wrong.

[Tactical Bear 3]

conducting work communications through the sick thread, where we pride ourselves on not working, is just wrong.

Actually, it seems to me like Braveheart (I'm done fucking around; I'm just typing the whole name from now on) is behaving EXACTLY in a way his fellow Sick-threaders would prescribe. He's telling somebody else to do his work for him. While he is unable to come to work. Because...(wait for it)He's sick. If work is going to be done here, I'd rather it be conducted in the BraveheartWay than, say, the WangWay, where I take a single, inconsequential ruling I made at work and proceed to berate everyone who doesn't agree with me.Also, Ron:Isn't Roget most famous for his thesaurus? Perhaps you should have gone with "Miriam Webster." (It would have been funniest that way, because you could call me a girl's name, too.)

[JubilantLankyLad 1,957]

Actually, it seems to me like Braveheart (I'm done fucking around; I'm just typing the whole name from now on) is behaving EXACTLY in a way his fellow Sick-threaders would prescribe. He's telling somebody else to do his work for him. While he is unable to come to work. Because...(wait for it)He's sick. If work is going to be done here, I'd rather it be conducted in the BraveheartWay than, say, the WangWay, where I take a single, inconsequential ruling I made at work and proceed to berate everyone who doesn't agree with me.Also, Ron:Isn't Roget most famous for his thesaurus? Perhaps you should have gone with "Miriam Webster." (It would have been funniest that way, because you could call me a girl's name, too.)

point taken x4 (I'm taking Ron's points too)

[DOG 0]

point taken x4 (I'm taking Ron's points too)

Just don't take his McNuggets.

[JubilantLankyLad 1,957]

[Nikki_N 17]

That's pretty damn awesome. Love it.I ate a veggie sub (w/cheese) for lunch, but that's because I'm trying not to eat calories, not because I don't like meat.

[strategy's_touch 0]

speaking of passive aggressive, my roommate from last year defriended me on facebook and made a point to talk to my other roommate about itI almost feel bad, because I know it bothered him a lot that I didn't want to ever hang out after we stopped being roommates. he is just one of those annoying hypercompetitive types and I don't really have the patience for that garbage, online or in real life. maybe I am a dick, I don't know.

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

Woah that caught my eye for sure. That's Ibrahim's truck and artwork, I know him very well. I lived literally right in front of that spot on the boardwalk for 5 years and woke up to his music every day. He and his wife Diane organize a solstice event every six months that I used to play at too. How crazy to see that on the forum, you kinda freaked me out a bit.

Beans will have any and all of your info if he wants it. Don't fight it, he's a good egg. He actually calls me to tell me when my mother is going to Vegas now.

Also, Ron:Isn't Roget most famous for his thesaurus? Perhaps you should have gone with "Miriam Webster." (It would have been funniest that way, because you could call me a girl's name, too.)

OH, don't think for a second that I didn't run the numbers on this one. I knew Roget was the thesaurus dude and Webster was the dictionary, but I love the Roget's joke, so I stuck with the bread and butter.

Just don't take his McNuggets.

Eff you Hey ZuesWhere have you been? (yes, I know who this account belongs to)

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

speaking of passive aggressive, my roommate from last year defriended me on facebook and made a point to talk to my other roommate about itI almost feel bad, because I know it bothered him a lot that I didn't want to ever hang out after we stopped being roommates. he is just one of those annoying hypercompetitive types and I don't really have the patience for that garbage, online or in real life. maybe I am a dick, I don't know.

allow me to confirmBut it's part of your charm, at least for me. I picture you having this super dry wit and sense of humor with a tad of bitterness and sarcasm thrown in. Again, I dig that.

[strategy's_touch 0]

allow me to confirmBut it's part of your charm, at least for me. I picture you having this super dry wit and sense of humor with a tad of bitterness and sarcasm thrown in. Again, I dig that.

I may lack the patience to keep a good friendship going with annoying people, but I don't like having people actively dislike me. it just bothered the hell out of this guy that I was better friends with our roommate than I was with him. well, no shit. we would ask him to go out to get food with us and he'd break down the math on why his frozen chicken was better value, then come see us later and ask how we had the money to eat out all the time because it's so expensive. I mean, wtf, don't act like that wouldn't annoy you too.

[vbnautilus 48]

Beans will have any and all of your info if he wants it. Don't fight it, he's a good egg. He actually calls me to tell me when my mother is going to Vegas now.

When I went to bed last night there was a little hand-written note on my pillow with a kind of goofy portrait of me and my dog. It said "This is better than what you posted. -Beans". I smiled but my wife wasn't too comfortable with the whole thing; it took a while to convince her not to call the police.

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

When I went to bed last night there was a little hand-written note on my pillow with a kind of goofy portrait of me and my dog. It said "This is better than what you posted. -Beans". I smiled but my wife wasn't too comfortable with the whole thing; it took a while to convince her not to call the police.

I'll give you the real scary part. Half to 3/4 of the people in this thread wouldn't bet against this actually being true. The only debatable part is beansey being cocky. He's more self deprecating than everyone except TacticalWang

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

I may lack the patience to keep a good friendship going with annoying people, but I don't like having people actively dislike me. it just bothered the hell out of this guy that I was better friends with our roommate than I was with him. well, no shit. we would ask him to go out to get food with us and he'd break down the math on why his frozen chicken was better value, then come see us later and ask how we had the money to eat out all the time because it's so expensive. I mean, wtf, don't act like that wouldn't annoy you too.

we are the same. I hate people but it someone dislikes me, I'll go out of my way to make them like me just so I can shun them in peace.and yeah, he sounds like a hoot that guy. I love people that do the end around insult by telling you you're wasting money or whatever by pointing out stuff like that. He doesn't take into account the pleasure of having people bring you what you ask them for a price.

[El Guapo 8]

I'll give you the real scary part. Half to 3/4 of the people in this thread wouldn't bet against this actually being true. The only debatable part is beansey being cocky. He's more self deprecating than everyone except TacticalWang

Slow down there Mexi. Speedz invented self depreciation, Wang took it to another level.

[Tactical Bear 3]

So I sent the email to my professor last night, around 2AM, after careful deliberation. I was no longer mad, but I still wanted to send it. It wasn't unnecessarily mean -- for example, there weren't too many ad hominem attacks tossed in -- and I decided that my indignation would be totally pointless if I didn't share my concerns with somebody who could use it. He responded: Dear DerekFirst, I want to thank you for sharing your thoughts with me. I agree with you for all points you mentioned.Secondly for the grade, comparing to other groups, your simulation model was one of the best. In fact, no group built a perfect model (I didn't expect that). Your group had developed a very very good application (I said that you could commercialize your application). I took 5 points off from your presentation because your group didn't explain the problem (it is very important part of presentation and listed in the project assignment).Third, I know you well in class. You are the most active student in the class and also one of the best students in the course. I will take all your comments and suggestions into my mind.Forth, are you interested in the project I mentioned in the class (developing a business model for a US-China joint-venture)? I'd like to have you to do that project with me.Thank you againHe... wants me to work with him for the next six months consulting for an Chinese company which is considering coming to the US. It sounds like a pretty big deal for an undergraduate student at Retard University. He mentioned it briefly in class, and it would involve being, in part, a direct representative of the company on US soil. I would be doing research, building models, and coming up with (or at least tinkering with) their model for their venture plans spanning the next 12-24 months.The kicker? At least TWO trips to China. Two trips to China, one of which would almost certainly be alone, acting as the Good Professor's surrogate while he handles responsibilities back here. You know what's really ****ed up? I am seriously considering it. I haven't responded yet, and I have no idea if I'd be able to afford it, or if I'd have to take significant time off from work and school, but it sounds like a pretty sweet opportunity. If I'm going to be a gopher-lackey -- getting coffee, printing stuff out, collating and sorting and filing -- then I'd probably pass, but if I'd get any access at all, and it sounds as if I might, I'd have to consider it, right? I'm 25, waaaay behind the curve in terms of my professional progress at my age, but something like this would be incredibly valuable on a resume, not to mention the potential of making contacts, or the actual experience and learning I could do.Any of you guys have any feedback for the Wangman? WangPS- I'd... probably be unable to let my prospective employers find out I use "ShimmeringWang" as a handle, but what're the odds?PPS- The odds are pretty high, I think, given my hilarious ability to get myself in totally-forseeable trouble

[JubilantLankyLad 1,957]

So I sent the email to my professor last night, around 2AM, after careful deliberation. I was no longer mad, but I still wanted to send it. It wasn't unnecessarily mean -- for example, there weren't too many ad hominem attacks tossed in -- and I decided that my indignation would be totally pointless if I didn't share my concerns with somebody who could use it. He responded: Dear DerekFirst, I want to thank you for sharing your thoughts with me. I agree with you for all points you mentioned.Secondly for the grade, comparing to other groups, your simulation model was one of the best. In fact, no group built a perfect model (I didn't expect that). Your group had developed a very very good application (I said that you could commercialize your application). I took 5 points off from your presentation because your group didn't explain the problem (it is very important part of presentation and listed in the project assignment).Third, I know you well in class. You are the most active student in the class and also one of the best students in the course. I will take all your comments and suggestions into my mind.Forth, are you interested in the project I mentioned in the class (developing a business model for a US-China joint-venture)? I'd like to have you to do that project with me.Thank you againHe... wants me to work with him for the next six months consulting for an Chinese company which is considering coming to the US. It sounds like a pretty big deal for an undergraduate student at Retard University. He mentioned it briefly in class, and it would involve being, in part, a direct representative of the company on US soil. I would be doing research, building models, and coming up with (or at least tinkering with) their model for their venture plans spanning the next 12-24 months.The kicker? At least TWO trips to China. Two trips to China, one of which would almost certainly be alone, acting as the Good Professor's surrogate while he handles responsibilities back here. You know what's really ****ed up? I am seriously considering it. I haven't responded yet, and I have no idea if I'd be able to afford it, or if I'd have to take significant time off from work and school, but it sounds like a pretty sweet opportunity. If I'm going to be a gopher-lackey -- getting coffee, printing stuff out, collating and sorting and filing -- then I'd probably pass, but if I'd get any access at all, and it sounds as if I might, I'd have to consider it, right? I'm 25, waaaay behind the curve in terms of my professional progress at my age, but something like this would be incredibly valuable on a resume, not to mention the potential of making contacts, or the actual experience and learning I could do.Any of you guys have any feedback for the Wangman? WangPS- I'd... probably be unable to let my prospective employers find out I use "ShimmeringWang" as a handle, but what're the odds?PPS- The odds are pretty high, I think, given my hilarious ability to get myself in totally-forseeable trouble

1 - some of the best relationships with teachers i had were the ones where i challenged them. then again, some of the challengees were RetardU grads, so a grain of salt is required.2 - sounds like a no-brainer: do it.

[JubilantLankyLad 1,957]

3 - email him, no subject, email body simply "fourth"

[Tactical Bear 3]

I'll give you the real scary part. Half to 3/4 of the people in this thread wouldn't bet against this actually being true. The only debatable part is beansey being cocky. He's more self deprecating than everyone except TacticalWang

1) True. When I think of Beans -- and I do think of him, of all of you*, way more often than is normal -- there a ton of competing images in my head. ShadowChipmunk. DanielNegreanu on the toilet. Lord John Marbury from The West Wing. CIA operative, undercover as Lord John Marbury from The West Wing undercover as a small-town hick-about-town that everybody knows is really 60% The Godfather +25% Robin Hood + 15% Don-Rickles-pretending-to-be-Ron-White.That person could put a note on your pillow. But he'd only do it if he liked you, and if he liked you he wouldn't be arrogant/mean.2) I am going to stop being self-deprecating. Call me out when I do it, Ron, if you don't mind. Everyone else, too. I'm going to get defensive and post lists about how I'm NOT being self-deprecating, etc., but I'll know the truth.*- For example, I had a weird daydream while driving home from campus yesterday. It was about Braveheart. I was doing Napa's job, except I was living in his house, and I met his wife. We had a long discussion about religion, during which I assured his wife that, yes, I am a heathen, but I will follow the rules of the house, and always treat their beliefs with respect. There was other stuff, too. I think I imagined myself telling Mrs. Braveheart the story about Maggie and the Catholic Cross tattoo, but instead of her bending over my seat to give me head, she was leaning over my seat to push my chair back. I didn't know if Mrs. Braveheart would appreciate talk of premarital car blowjobs in her house, especially since she just met me.

[brvheart 1,754]

just finished up deleting friends on facebook. I asked myself, do I want this person keeping up to date with my life events? it led to a surprising amount of bloodshed. not many high school friends remain... 160 --> 58

Oh. That's what happened.

God I love you. I delete people if they update their status too much or do lots of those quizzes and surveys.

You can hide different applications (Mafia Wars) and quizzes ect... You can also hide the person from your home page without deleting them.

oh ok, I just figured out the answer to this. no, it doesn't send you anything.

Since I first joined facebook in January I've lost like 3 or 4 friends. I'm very interested in knowing who these bastards are.

Prodigal son?I seriously don't know if I could have done that.

I'm fairly surprised that with all the comments on this picture that nobody mentioned that Guap said 'prodigal'.

I want to be an unpaid intern in your corporation/partnership.

I just checked your contract and you won't be available until 2014.

I make my profile unsearchable and only viewable to friends. Also, no matter how much I like some of my co-workers, I don't friend them on facebook.

You need to add me then... I could use an ex-stripper in my friends list.http://www.facebook.com/johnandrus?ref=profile

When I started working my new job about a year ago I decided to make an effort to raise my dress level a little bit; bought some new professional looking clothes and played the part for a little while. Even though no one really cares I figured I'd uphold my own standard. Over time I've gotten more and more lazy about it and have pretty much reverted to every day being jeans in the office day. Do people in other cities work full days on Friday? In L.A. the traffic starts at like 2pm on Friday.

I have a friend that works for Rockwell Collins, which is a hi-tech company and makes flight controls for aircraft among other things. Anyway, it's a huge company and everyone usually wears jeans unless they are in management. Well, my friend decided that he would wear jeans everyday, unless he knew he was in a meeting that day. Meetings usually involved people from other departments. He noticed that whenever he said anything in meetings people listened to him closely and treated him differently. He was a manager by the time he was 26, and he thinks it was solely based on wears suits on meeting days.

Something in the Idiosyncrasies thread just made me remember a brief conversation from work.Coworker #1: Cheeto(h) loves greenies treats.Speedz: Don't give her too many.Coworker #1: But she's so tiny! She needs to gain weight.Speedz: I'm just saying, she's built small, I don't want you to make her a bowling ball before I bring her home in a few weeks.Coworker #2: You're the kind of guy that would divorce his wife for gaining 20 pounds.Speedz: 20 pounds?!?Coworker #1: ...Speedz: ...Coworker #2: ...Speedz: ...

I enjoyed this thoroughly.

Crunchy, obviously. I hate the puffs.

yes.

You have to have a name like Winthorpe to pull off neckwear like that.To be perfectly honest, I have never been drawn to the ultra-thin. Smash-face was in good, great, physical condition, but she wasn't a stick by any means. I think she was like 5'7", maybe 120-125? Honestly, I have no idea about girls' weights. I could be off by about 15 pounds either way and have no idea. Awesomely large cans, though. Actually, now that I think about it, Maggs isn't a stick, either, and she, too, has awesomely huge cans. I'm pretty sure Ashley was a C+/D-, and Maggie is a definite D. I mean, again, Maggs isn't a big girl, but she is some meat on her. She is curvy, but absolutely HATED her body. It was actually incredibly annoying. I've always thought she's gorgeous, but she (a) aaaalways wore like 5 layers of clothing (B) always put up a fight when shirts started coming off © REALLY started to fight when it was bra-removal time, which was incredibly frustrating, since at 25 years old, I can't tie a tie, and I am horrible (horrible horrible horrible) with bras. Maggie used to try to get me to eat all the time, and I could never figure out what was going on. I mean, she'd show up at the cardroom with a cheesecake (delicious), then get pissed when I offered a slice to people at work. Or, if I came to see her at BWs, she'd have somebody bring over like 20 wings and insist I eat them. She later admitted that she was trying to fatten me up, because it made her uncomfortable that I was "skinnier than" her. She said I made her look fat, and when I told her how much I weighed, she forced me to get on a scale and then started yelling at me because "if I pig out for a weekend we'll be the same weight."I dunno, though. I've seen pictures of her exes, and I am -- probably by like 40ish pounds -- the skinniest guy she's dated in the last 6 years. At one point I decided she just liked her guys big, so I decided to perform a few feats of strength from her, you know, prove that I'm a man and all that. It usually just manifested itself in easy stuff like "you can't get up, because I am holding your arms down with my left hand without breaking a sweat." You know what's weird? Kinda worked. How out of the ordinary/strange is it for a girl to get kinda turned on when you, like, throw her around a little? There was never any rough stuff -- yuck, too creepy -- but I got the impression that she liked it when I was... let's say, physically assertive during sex. Not my style, though. I'm more a "make some jokes then injure myself" type guy. Man, how did I get here?

This was an enjoyable post.

[CaneBrain 95]

Tactical,I would jump at any chance to do something involving China. They are going to be the big player with America for a long time and it will do wonders for your career to get in on the grould floor of that. Also, a good chance to learn Mandarin which will be just as useful as Spanish soon enough.Also, commenting on a different post of yours, you would be amazed how many attractive, independent, successful girls I know in their 20s and 30s who have "rape fantasies".

[JubilantLankyLad 1,957]

I'm fairly surprised that with all the comments on this picture that nobody mentioned that Guap said 'prodigal'.

I considered it, but I was feeling bad for Ol Guapster when I saw his kid experimenting with using over-sized dominoes as knee pads, as that inevitably leads to a career involving lots of kneeling and over-sized stuff. Aren't dominoes usually black though?

He was a manager by the time he was 26, and he thinks it was solely based on wears suits on meeting days.

Well it certainly isn't based on his ability to forecast the spread of disease.

[strategy's_touch 0]

I almost want to slap Wang for asking us whether he should do this thing. of course, you goddamn retard. why are you not already in china, ching-chonging it up with the slants. what the hell is wrong with you.