I Called In Sick Today

[strategy's_touch 0]

Is the carrot function easily accessible on the touch?

it is just a keypress away.

Do you have 100 free hours too?

nice. I wonder how many landfills they can claim direct credit for filling over the years with those CDs.

[Tactical Bear 3]

I think there is a dance party going on downstairs in the random slutty girls' apartment. Yeah, I didn't really know they lived there until two months ago. Actually, they probably didn't live there until two months ago. Anyway, I'm alone and have nothing to do, so I'm going to go introduce myself and tell them I have access to drugs or something. That usually impresses whores, right? Sal?

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

I think there is a dance party going on downstairs in the random slutty girls' apartment. Yeah, I didn't really know they lived there until two months ago. Actually, they probably didn't live there until two months ago. Anyway, I'm alone and have nothing to do, so I'm going to go introduce myself and tell them I have access to drugs or something. That usually impresses whores, right? Sal?

as do girthy wangsdo complex math for them and do a soliloquy, that'll get em drippin

[Tactical Bear 3]

as do girthy wangsdo complex math for them and do a soliloquy, that'll get em drippin

I don't think one "does" a soliloquy. Though, based on previous experience, when I'm talking to whores I might as well be talking to myself...

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

I don't think one "does" a soliloquy. Though, based on previous experience, when I'm talking to whores I might as well be talking to myself...

sorry Roget, quote them a sonnet, all while wearing your duck shirt and taking a pic of yourself

[Dawson Leery 12]

Dawson's been working a lot..been hanging out with GIL a little bit too...other than that same old, same old.

[Sickinfo2 291]

Are the battery backup devices for sump pumps worth a darn?Should I get a battery backup or should Dave drag the generator out of the garage (not attached to the house) every time we think a storm is going to knock our power out?Also do you have opinions as to the best way to wire our well pump to the generator?There a a few different approaches and I wondered if you had a preferred method.

No....a year or so of non-use renders them almost useless.... that sounded funny.... ah....Im drunk thats whyThe "preferred" method is to have an electrician wire up a two-way disconnect between your electric meter and the breaker box. It disconnects the main feed and brings the generator online with one flick of a switch. Yeah, expensive, but it keeps the power guys from being electrocuted from your generator back-feeding the main lines up to several miles away. Thats something most people dont know... during a blackout it takes them much longer to restore power because they have to take extra precautions due to that threatAnyway, heres my method....I figure since its the electric companies fault that Im sitting at home without modern conveniences like a poker forum and air conditioning/heat, screw them....I stagger outside, cut the green plastic lock securing the meter, and plug my generators special made plug directly into the house side of the meter socket Everything in the house runs exactly as before and theres no chance that I harm any of the coffee drinking bastards that are supposedly working to restore powerYou can do the same thing without pulling the meter, but it requires killing the main breaker and making an extension cord that plugs into your generator on one end, and your dryer (or other two twenty outlet) on the other. Im assuming your generator is two twenty capable....if its one-ten only this wont workA cord can easily be made from a few feet of ten-two Romex and two male plugs from Lowes.... just make absolutely sure you turn off the main breaker, plug in the dryer/range end, then plug in the generator end and start it. The male dryer end will light your ass up if you touch it while the generator is plugged in and running. As me how I know....

I have to say, melting glass is a smoldering hot fire has got to be in the top 10 of best things to do with your time. Right Beans?

Nope.... top three for sure....

The sleeping outdoors, even in a tent, makes me grouchy and unpleasant. The lack of nearby bathroom facilities also adds to my unpleasantness.

My idea of camping is quite similar....We stay at a remote location similar to Guaps where folks sleep in tents and "rough it" while Im sitting on a couch watching satellite television between a fridge and microwave....The generator on the motorhome is quite soothing and blocks out the damn birds and other wildlife sounds

Not really appropriate to have sex with your kids 2 feet away

Two feet away from what?

HAHA, God we have to have a website for all things like this and call it Sals Paradise.

vb outta recognize sal paradise west

Hi everyone. Off to catch up...

Hot damn this threads gettin pulled outta the ditch now....

[brvheart 1,755]

Brvheart, your friend is full of shit. It was like a case of food-poisoning and a bad cold. You know what meds I took for my Swine Flu? Fucking Tylenol Severe Cold and Sinus. Anybody who dies of Swine Flu is just a faggot.

The number of confirmed swine flu deaths is expected to hit 100 on Thursday. Currently, about six people are confirmed per day, and the total accumulated U.S. deaths now stand at 94.Other swine flu developments:Confirming scientists fears, the swine flu H1N1 virus appears to be very volatile. A new form has now been found in Brazil. It is not yet known how deadly or contagious it is. The greater concern is that someone who has the extremely deadly bird flu virus also gets the extremely contagious swine flu virus. Then, if the combine, there is the possibility of an extremely deadly, extremely contagious flu.- PaulThursday swine flu update:101.-Paul

[vbnautilus 48]

vb outta recognize sal paradise west

Woah that caught my eye for sure. That's Ibrahim's truck and artwork, I know him very well. I lived literally right in front of that spot on the boardwalk for 5 years and woke up to his music every day. He and his wife Diane organize a solstice event every six months that I used to play at too. How crazy to see that on the forum, you kinda freaked me out a bit.

[Napa_Don 688]

The number of confirmed swine flu deaths is expected to hit 100 on Thursday. Currently, about six people are confirmed per day, and the total accumulated U.S. deaths now stand at 94.Other swine flu developments:Confirming scientists fears, the swine flu H1N1 virus appears to be very volatile. A new form has now been found in Brazil. It is not yet known how deadly or contagious it is. The greater concern is that someone who has the extremely deadly bird flu virus also gets the extremely contagious swine flu virus. Then, if the combine, there is the possibility of an extremely deadly, extremely contagious flu.- PaulThursday swine flu update:101.-Paul

Is this the super smart Paul that I know?Also, I think the keyboard at work is broke because I brought my own today and it worked fine, but the mouse didn't work today, so i dunno. So if you ever return you might want to bring a new keyboard and mouse, just in case.

[Sickinfo2 291]

you kinda freaked me out a bit.

Can you remember the song that the black guy sings close by? He has a beard and wears a santa hat most of the time....It goes something like "Heee-yaaaa support ya local alcoholhhhhicks"Ive heard it a thousand times but Im drawing a blank on it for some reason

[runthemover 39]

Guess what I did today?I'll give you a hint, it involves me NOT wearing pants.

that's gross.also, it's napa's shtick. stop it.

[vbnautilus 48]

Can you remember the song that the black guy sings close by? He has a beard and wears a santa hat most of the time....It goes something like "Heee-yaaaa support ya local alcoholhhhhicks"Ive heard it a thousand times but Im drawing a blank on it for some reason

Hmm not sure.... but here is a pic that Diane painted of that spot. I am on the bottom right playing sitar, ibrahim is with the drum in the center. My dreadlock dog is also in there somewhere. Maybe your santa guy is too?

[brvheart 1,755]

And one other final thing. What's up with Jehovah's Witnesses coming to my work? I mean I don't get it.I just asked them, "If there's only 144,000 going to get into heaven, what the hell are you doing out recruiting?"

nice

I didn't know that only 144,000 people got into heaven. What do I have to do to be one of them?

Actually this was just in their early doctrine. When they were getting close to the 144 mark, the 'prophet' said that the rest of the people would live in eternity on Earth. He also said the world with end in like 1975 or something and they have had to change that date several times, since apparently God told them wrong.

When Dave and I were first sexing (and I was hopelessly, desperately in love with him in the worst way), he had an attack of guilt (and reasonably so) because I was wed to someone else at the time, although extremely unhappily. So Dave broke up with me. This breaking up happened right before I went to work (at the nudie bar). When I got to work I proceeded to drink heavily (not something I did very often at work). It's easy to get free shots as a dancer, so I was very drunk, very quickly. Dave, feeling bad, but still holding on to his resolve, came to see how I was doing. I was on the floor, and had asked the girl that followed me in the rotation to skip me this once, and I'd be ready the next round (not likely). Anyway, after I started vomiting, my boss sends a girl into the ladies' room to let me know that I'm not in trouble, but I had to get out of there. My boss thought the whole thing was pretty damn funny but couldn't have me around in that state. Like I said, I did not make a habit of getting drunk at work and I had never been that massively intoxicated there. So, I was in a serious predicament. I couldn't drive home. I had made almost no money on a Saturday night and I had to go home to a husband who was, frankly, very controlling. Going home drunk and broke would launch us into a monster fight that I did not want to be involved in. So, Dave swoops in, in knightly fashion and takes me back to his place to sober up. He even put a bunch of money in my purse so I wouldn't go home broke and have to explain. While at his house, after the vomiting had passed (for the most part), I proceeded to flirt with him in a most humiliating fashion. I was wearing a sweatshirt and not cute panties. I had messed up hair, smeared makeup, and vomit breath. I was uber sexy. Somehow, Dave managed to resist me in such an awesome state. I persisted for a goodly while, digging my hole of shame deeper and deeper. I was thoroughly embarrassed and humiliated. I was so disgustingly drunk, I couldn't pull myself together to get a man to sleep with me, even though he had willing put me in his own bed. The fact that I was employed as a seductress makes the whole scenario even worse. I'm still embarrassed about the whole thing 13 years later. Later that night, when I had sobered up, he drove me back to my car so I could go home. Ugh.

I'm going with everyone else on this one. Dave is the one who messed up here. He should have just made you brush your teeth and then taken you to poundtown.

I love Orange Tabbys. My last one was named Chi Chi Monkey. It worked very nicely.

What I liked so much about Cheetoh was that she would be up by my head, purring, kneading, etc, but once I started drifting off she'd go down to my feet or somewhere else. I NEED MY SPACE.

I love cats.

So I just went to refill my cup of Sugar-Free Cherry Limeade and I finished off the pitcher. Normally I just make more right away. This time, the spout was dripping and instinctually, I licked it, to keep the red stuff from dripping on the floor. I said out loud, to no one, because I'm the only one home (besides the dog who was in the other room), "Great. Now I have to wash that." So, what would you do? Would you wash it? Or would you just make more sugar-free cherry limeade and put the pitcher back in the fridge? Or would you put the empty and saliva spouted pitcher in the fridge?

Those great value sugar free drinks are all we drink at our house. The Cherry flavor is the drink of choice, but we'll mix it up with peach ice-tea every now and then.

[brvheart 1,755]

Is this the super smart Paul that I know?Also, I think the keyboard at work is broke because I brought my own today and it worked fine, but the mouse didn't work today, so i dunno. So if you ever return you might want to bring a new keyboard and mouse, just in case.

I have no idea when I'm going to make it up there again. Maybe not this week. My right tonsil is still the size of a golf ball.When you do the books tomorrow just take some money as a payout and buy a cheap keyboard and mouse. I guess wireless is preferred, so it might be like $40 or whatever at Staples or Best Buy or Sam's. Don't spend more than $40 unless you call me, because I could probably get something online.

[speedz99 145]

I think of it like this: if you charge the mound after getting drilled in a baseball game, you'll get run 100% of the time. But you're damn sure awarded first base.

This is a good point.

Guess what I did today?I'll give you a hint, it involves me NOT wearing pants.

Sat in front of the tv and played on your laptop, pantsless.

CLIFFS NOTES: I went camping, got pissed at a logging company and overly sentimental, made a big fire, melted glass and did not have sex.

This was necessary.

Dave and I decided long ago that we hate camping. We love the hiking about, the camp fires, and the general enjoyment of nature, but we go cabining instead of camping. The sleeping outdoors, even in a tent, makes me grouchy and unpleasant. The lack of nearby bathroom facilities also adds to my unpleasantness. The state parks around here have nice little trails, beautiful scenery and cabins or Inns or both. The one I'm particularly fond of has rustic-ish little cabins that are equipped with bathroom/shower and a small kitchen.

I imagine it would be hard to sleep on anything but a mattress when you have no internal padding.

It was hard not to be irrationally mean.

That's why I don't even try when I'm in that kind of mood. (see: running people out of the thread)

I actually have a cool streak going. The last 5 classes I have taught have resulted in AT LEAST one student shedding tears in my office during the course of the semester. And I don't count it if its just a bit of sniffling, I am talking full-out sobbing. Granted, its not always due to my excessively harsh and heartless grading policies... often, they just feel that my office is the best place to let out all that my-life-as-a-college-student-in-sunny-southern-california-is-so-hard stress.

One time I made a professor cry. She was a little asian woman that accused me of cheating.

this is an exclusive shake-strat discussion.

orly?

he's overthinking his overthinking!

Nice.

I love Orange Tabbys. My last one was named Chi Chi Monkey. It worked very nicely.I love cats.

You're a good egg.

[strategy 4]

I like that cat.

[hank213 1,823]

that's gross.also, it's napa's shtick. stop it.

I'm a utility player.

Sat in front of the tv and played on your laptop, pantsless.

Laptop? That's for the whippersnappers.

[Poppy_Hillis 11]

Wang, I commend you for taking the time to analyze your decision and being able to think outside the box in a situation where nearly 100% of people in your position would have made a snap judgement, the same decision, and thought nothing else of it. This is the only way people, societies etc, are able to develop and reach their utmost pinnacle. There are far too many examples today where strict sets of rules that govern all decision making, protecting the stupid and incapable people from thinking for themelves, resulting in...ya know, people, societies, etc not reaching their utmost pinnacle, among other things.I will remove my face from your ass now.

[Sal Paradise 57]

oh well. at least I have my music... and my sandwiches

yeah, sandwiches. they're nice. for me it's the coffee. and alcoholism.

I think there is a dance party going on downstairs in the random slutty girls' apartment. Yeah, I didn't really know they lived there until two months ago. Actually, they probably didn't live there until two months ago. Anyway, I'm alone and have nothing to do, so I'm going to go introduce myself and tell them I have access to drugs or something. That usually impresses whores, right? Sal?

yes it does tactical bear, yes it does.

sorry Roget, quote them a sonnet, all while wearing your duck shirt and taking a pic of yourself

hahaha

the beach!maybe I should move to california and become a surfer. there any jobs out there for people with no skills, education, or training that pay a lot?

I have no idea when I'm going to make it up there again. Maybe not this week. My right tonsil is still the size of a golf ball.When you do the books tomorrow just take some money as a payout and buy a cheap keyboard and mouse. I guess wireless is preferred, so it might be like $40 or whatever at Staples or Best Buy or Sam's. Don't spend more than $40 unless you call me, because I could probably get something online.

conducting official business through the sick thread. that's a pretty big milestone right there I gotta say.

[Nikki_N 17]

I'm going with everyone else on this one. Dave is the one who messed up here. He should have just made you brush your teeth and then taken you to poundtown.

That's what I was going for, but I failed to seduce him. Sad. I was pathetic that night.

I imagine it would be hard to sleep on anything but a mattress when you have no internal padding.

I've found that even my mattress is uncomfortable now. I need to talk GWCGWC about a new mattress. Dave and I have had this one since we got married 11 years ago. It's not very comfortable any more and it has a blood stain on it from where Dave's bullet wound oozed a couple of years ago. I tried to scrub it out, to no avail.

[speedz99 145]

I like that cat.

She likes that strat.

it has a blood stain on it from where Dave's bullet wound oozed a couple of years ago.

I'm sure that was traumatic for you guys, but it led to one of my favorite posts of all time, so it's a fond memory for this guy.

[CaneBrain 95]

It's not very comfortable any more and it has a blood stain on it from where Dave's bullet wound oozed a couple of years ago.

the award for "Most nonchalant mention that my husband is a bad-ass" goes to......

[Nikki_N 17]

She likes that strat.I'm sure that was traumatic for you guys, but it led to one of my favorite posts of all time, so it's a fond memory for this guy.

What post was this? Now that he's okay, we can joke about it.

the award for "Most nonchalant mention that my husband is a bad-ass" goes to......

He is an absolute badass. He doesn't think he is.

[speedz99 145]

What post was this? Now that he's okay, we can joke about it.

It was just a brief response to the story...if I had the searching powers of an Ouch or a JJJ, I'd go find it.