Jump to content

I Called In Sick Today


Recommended Posts

Apparently I am a stats tutor. I can't even tie my statistical shoelaces, but some guy -- based on my "A" in BizStats and a recommendation from an exgirlfriend -- is adamant that I give him a few hours on Saturday afternoon to prep him for a take-home stats exam. Hey buddy? It'll be easier for both of us -- not to mention cheaper for you -- if you just let me do the effing exam.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Replies 268k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

  • Ron_Mexico

    19413

  • speedz99

    16304

  • Napa Lite

    7767

  • ShakeZuma

    7517

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Posts

and after 3 days, he is risen!

If you are paying $20 for a haircut, I imagine people assume you did it yourself anyway.

Pocket change cost me my first and only black girlfriend.   It was in the middle of a roaring poker boom and I was flush in ways most men don't even bother dreaming of. Money, it was like dirt to me

Posted Images

Today I became confused. I was convinced that I had missed an episode of American Idol, and went to the Pirate Bay to download it. I looked up "american idol" and downloaded the last 2 episodes that came up in the search (now convinced I had missed a whole week, apparently). I began to watch the first episode and realised it was from wildcard week and I had seen it already. Then I realised that I hadn't missed any episodes of American Idol, because it is aired on Wednesdays and Thursdays, not Tuesdays and Wednesdays, as I had discovered yesterday when I tried to watch it on TV.A few hours later I forgot my revelation and sought out the newer, post-wildcard week episodes of American Idol, assuming these were the ones I had missed. I found American Idol in the TV Show category and there were 2 newer episodes than those I had previously downloaded. So I downloaded them, and went to watch the first one... and realised that they were last weeks episodes, which I had watched, well, last week.So I downloaded almost 2gb worth of videos from the P. Bay for basically no reason. Furthermore, I remembered that I had originally downloaded the episodes from wild card week from the P. Bay, so I have now downloaded those episodes twice each. I have no idea why I was so scatterbrained. My theory: I are stupid.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Today I became confused. I have no idea why I was so scatterbrained. My theory: I are stupid.
I blame Obama.Because he's black.Not because his press conference dealio moved AI from Tue/Wed to Wed/Thu.edit: reverse that.
Link to post
Share on other sites

mojo was just explaining why the US should go to war, like the second world war pulled us out of the depression. I countered that many people died in the war. she refuted that by declaring "net gain" with an accompanying hand motion of an upward trending graph.

Link to post
Share on other sites
mojo was just explaining why the US should go to war, like the second world war pulled us out of the depression. I countered that many people died in the war. she refuted that by declaring "net gain" with an accompanying hand motion of an upward trending graph.
a "net gain" you say? I will get behind this.
Link to post
Share on other sites

Very cute. Next weekend I get to see my two favorite cats ever...the two guys I fostered for 2-3 months until they were adopted by one of the doctors I work with. Speedz is excited.I took home a cat tonight that we're trying to adopt out at the hospital, just to give her some time out of a cage. The poor thing refuses to go to sleep...she keep picking her head up, making sure I'm still there with her, purring, kneading, and then falling back asleep for a few minutes before the process starts all over again. I think it's been a long time since she's had a home...if she's ever had a home. She might have been a stray, I'm not sure. She's skinny as hell (heyo!) and has had at least one litter in her life. Slut.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Very cute. Next weekend I get to see my two favorite cats ever...the two guys I fostered for 2-3 months until they were adopted by one of the doctors I work with. Speedz is excited.I took home a cat tonight that we're trying to adopt out at the hospital, just to give her some time out of a cage. The poor thing refuses to go to sleep...she keep picking her head up, making sure I'm still there with her, purring, kneading, and then falling back asleep for a few minutes before the process starts all over again. I think it's been a long time since she's had a home...if she's ever had a home. She might have been a stray, I'm not sure. She's skinny as hell (heyo!) and has had at least one litter in her life. Slut.
You really know how to tug at them heart strings. I feel like I should send $100 to that Sarah McLaughlin charity.Edit: I mean, I won't be, but it doesn't make the feelings any less genuine.
Link to post
Share on other sites
The poor thing refuses to go to sleep...she keep picking her head up, making sure I'm still there with her, purring, kneading, and then falling back asleep for a few minutes before the process starts all over again. I think it's been a long time since she's had a home...if she's ever had a home.
Hmm, sounds like she is getting fond of you. It would be cruel to bond with her and then ship her off to strangers. I'm sorry speedz, you're just going to have to keep her. There's no other way.
Link to post
Share on other sites
The poor thing refuses to go to sleep...she keep picking her head up, making sure I'm still there with her, purring, kneading, and then falling back asleep for a few minutes before the process starts all over again. I think it's been a long time since she's had a home...if she's ever had a home. She might have been a stray, I'm not sure. She's skinny as hell (heyo!) and has had at least one litter in her life. Slut.
we are probably going to need a picture
Link to post
Share on other sites
That reminded me...so I've been talking to the stuffpuppet I was hitting on on Saturday, and as always I've made it fairly clear I'm not interested in dating anyone exclusively (unless she meets 3 requirements: hot, super rich parents, and is fun. I leave that out when saying why I don't want to date anyone). Except...this girl's getting a dog this weekend, and I love dogs and really miss my parents' dogs...this girl's cool and hot, so I'm torn...WILL THE DOG SERVE AS A WILDCARD THIRD REQUIREMENT??? STAY TUNED TO FIND OUT.
hey dawson WHAT IS UP, G
Just doin what I do dog
Link to post
Share on other sites
That reminded me...so I've been talking to the stuffpuppet I was hitting on on Saturday, and as always I've made it fairly clear I'm not interested in dating anyone exclusively (unless she meets 3 requirements: hot, super rich parents, and is fun. I leave that out when saying why I don't want to date anyone). Except...this girl's getting a dog this weekend, and I love dogs and really miss my parents' dogs...this girl's cool and hot, so I'm torn...WILL THE DOG SERVE AS A WILDCARD THIRD REQUIREMENT??? STAY TUNED TO FIND OUT.Just doin what I do dog
werdoh and Dawson...she has teh AIDS.
Link to post
Share on other sites
beans, did you quit drinking or something? What's with the lack of coronas in your recent pictures?
100_0097.jpgThat was taken just a short while ago after riding a hundred miles toward Primm, Nevada....It was the last of twenty fourI also have a few surfing pics that I may or may not post.... the awkwardness/shamefulness is in the extreme categoryI did make a friend with kettle corn remnants inside the four wheeler tool compartment...100_0025.jpgRandys favorite view and turds bird all in one shot...100_0065-1.jpgDRUNK ON THE TARMAC!100_0072.jpgAlright.... Zach, Shane, and me surfing at Zuma.... notice it was early morningWe didnt want to draw a bigger crowd100_0090.jpgShortly after this near death incident I almost got Mexied by the CHP. Look for me passing by and honking at a bunch of fools running a marathon down PCH. The signs said "Biggest Loser" so I assume it was the name of a television show instead of a random sighting of me on a surf board. The cops had the road blocked but in my haste to get back to the throne (screw you Patricks Roadhouse breakfast) I diverted around them and ended up on the program...
Link to post
Share on other sites
Randys favorite view and turds bird all in one shot...100_0065-1.jpg
and those look like underage girls so count me in too.also beans, I figured I should let you know this: this past weekend it was nice outside and somehow I didn't go out friday night so I wasn't hungover on saturday, so I went out to check on fixing the chainsaw. figured I'd start it up first like you said, let it run till it cut off, then check the spark plug. well, I started it up after three pulls, cold, and without putting gas in the thing, which was odd to begin with. let it idle for a little bit waiting for it to lose power, but it didn't, so I decided to start revving it up a bit to get it to do it. that didn't work either, so I figured I'd just cut for a bit and that would surely recreate the problem from before.30 minutes later all my brush is cut up into nice little piles and my chainsaw is running as good as new. fuck if I know. I think what may have been the problem last time was when I put the gas in the muffler, I poured directly from the can and I put too much. must have flooded it.
Link to post
Share on other sites

Vegas was fun...trip report later. Too much work.U2 fansI do have access to a 16 person sky box at Soldier Field for U2 on 9-12-09. Tickets will be $250 ish/person, not including food and drink. Double down with a Cubs/Sox game that weekend. Lemme know if any interest. I have to commit in a week or so, but will most likely get it as I have about 8 other commitments.

Link to post
Share on other sites
That reminded me...so I've been talking to the stuffpuppet I was hitting on on Saturday, and as always I've made it fairly clear I'm not interested in dating anyone exclusively (unless she meets 3 requirements: hot, super rich parents, and is fun. I leave that out when saying why I don't want to date anyone). Except...this girl's getting a dog this weekend, and I love dogs and really miss my parents' dogs...this girl's cool and hot, so I'm torn...WILL THE DOG SERVE AS A WILDCARD THIRD REQUIREMENT??? STAY TUNED TO FIND OUT.Just doin what I do dog
A few things:1) I've read this post 3 times now, and each time, in the bolded section, I leave out the second "on," so it reads: "I was talking to the stuffpuppet I was hitting on Saturday." I always get immediately excited for JBrad -- "Hey, Dawson was hitting that!" -- until I remember he was just hitting ON her, not (a) having sex with her or (b) beating her. Sadness.2) I have appropriated the term "stuffpuppet," and it is now part of my regular vernacular. It's been pretty popular so far. Whenever somebody asks me where I got the phrase, I affect an Indian accent and say: "All praise to Bradburn." This serves to confuse people. Obviously. It doesn't even make sense to me, and I'm the one saying it.3) I have taken to putting whichever woman I'm most likely to have sexual contact with in the near future in my phone as: "Stuffpuppet." (That sentence is disgusting. I won't edit it, because it's hilariously poorly conceived, and poorly executed. Note to self: read this if you ever think you've got a future as a writer/communicator.) This has yet to come back to haunt me. Maggie is currently in my phone as "Stuffpuppet." I won't jinx it by suggesting the reasonably likely outcome that would entertain everyone in this thread. Finally, I went to bed last night S.W. Bear, but awoke this morning as Robo Wang 3000, programmed to pimp bitches with ruthless efficiency and brutal authority. I think it was the new pillow I've been using. WangEDIT- That reminds me, in college, my friend Thom and I used to have this joke. "What if you went to bed feeling a little underweather, like with a cold, but when you woke up it wasn't a cold: you turned black. That is the biggest symptom of this particular virus; you got a runny nose and then you turned into a black person." It was endlessly entertaining, because it was so retarded and stupid.
Link to post
Share on other sites

Attention all stats/gambling/investing nerds:I've recently been engaged in a conversation among some pretty smart, reasonably well-known (in internet gambling circles) bloggers about the merits of hedging long-term futures, especially when you have a large stake. As an example, all of us have a pretty big piece of Memphis in the NCAA tournament, with stakes ranging from 5x to win 250x, to 2x to win 70x. When you consider that x = 1% of a player's bankroll, you can start to appreciate how important these decisions are. Hedging is generally -EV, because you often have to take the wrong side -- it's not like we're getting a good price on UCONN if Memphis squeaks by Mizzou and into the regional final -- AND you have to pay juice. That being said, the potential swings are so huge that it seems like there may be some value in locking in a smaller profit more often, vs. taking a better, longterm EV position but increasing variance. Remember, most of us compound our bankrolls frequently. If my bankroll is 100x and I win 100x with a long-term position, all of my wagers are going to be twice as large going forward. If my equity in a position is, say, +20x, and I take 17.5x by hedging, I (obviously) decrease my longterm winrate by 2.5x, but 100% of the time I'll win SOMETHING, and be able to reinvest that something immediately. If anybody has any thoughts on the issue, or wants to engage me in a dialog, post them here or send me an email at ShimmeringWang@gmail.com . There will be spreadsheets, by the way, provided by an acquaintance. It has a MonteCarlo simulations, Kelly criterion suggestions/explanations, and other fun stuff. It's a basic framework, now, but we're trying to fill it in with some relevant stuff.MK, I'm looking at you, Mr. Combinatorial junk bond salesperson.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

Announcements


×
×
  • Create New...