I Called In Sick Today

[Sal Paradise 57]

you really love the computer lab.

[CindyLou 11]

Wang: (to cute girl sitting at next computer) "Thanks for the assist, babe. Appreciate it."Girl: "..."Wang: "Don't worry. I'm not going to keep talking to you." (puts on headphones)A few minutes later a friend of mine -- Tish -- walked over and started a conversation with me AND the girl. Turns out they're friends. It was awkward.

I thought your exchange with the cute girl was going to be the best part, but I was wrong.

I thought Steve's at work account was Piddle_Duck?

That's ridiculous.

[Napa_Don 688]

From my human sexuality book:"...suicide(women attempt suicide more often, but men are more successful at actually killing themselves)..."Suicide...just one more thing men are better at than women.¹¹Ending it with "at" was bothering me to much.Edit: From the accompanying quiz: In most cultures, men "lead" women in all of the following except a. stress-related illnesses. b. suicide attempts. c. motor vehicle accidents. d. heart disease. e. men "lead" women in all of these are true.I don't know why this is so funny to me and feel the need to share it, but I do.

[Tactical Bear 3]

you really love the computer lab.

I do. I leave my apartment early to get here and hang out. It's like a combination of Cheers and... I don't know, but everybody here knows me. I'm semi-famous because I do something ridiculous in public once a week. For example: my conversation with Nidhep Raj Haberdashery today. That's going to get around, as will my "Don't worry. I'm not going to keep talking to you" comment. People are kind of scared of me. I've had a few people in classes tell me they were under the impression that I was this huge jerk, just because of all the stuff they've seen, and stuff they've heard about me. I am going to die alone.

I thought your exchange with the cute girl was going to be the best part, but I was wrong.That's ridiculous.

I was too tired and disgusted by the time I got to cutie-pie McGee. I just wanted to turn up the volume and rock out to some 3-chord punk. Also: I am hurt, Napa...Wang

[Napa_Don 688]

Also: I am hurt, Napa...Wang

After re-reading it, I realized he probably didn't save your documents and I would be pissed to if somebody did that to me. I then felt a little remorse, but decided not to edit the post. Instead, I am making another post explaining it. Reading that post all I could think about was the scene in "Boiler Room" where Ben Affleck comes in to the group interview. That's how I imagine you handling the situation if there were not lost documents involved.

[CindyLou 11]

After re-reading it, I realized he probably didn't save your documents and I would be pissed to if somebody did that to me. I then felt a little remorse, but decided not to edit the post. Instead, I am making another post explaining it. Reading that post all I could think about was the scene in "Boiler Room" where Ben Affleck comes in to the group interview. That's how I imagine you handling the situation if there were not lost documents involved.

I think you're missing the point.

[Tactical Bear 3]

After re-reading it, I realized he probably didn't save your documents and I would be pissed to if somebody did that to me. I then felt a little remorse, but decided not to edit the post. Instead, I am making another post explaining it. Reading that post all I could think about was the scene in "Boiler Room" where Ben Affleck comes in to the group interview. That's how I imagine you handling the situation if there were not lost documents involved.

I lost about 200 words of an email to a friend, 3/4 of an accounting homework (representing about an hour of work), my updated fantasy baseball draft tool for my auction tomorrow (an excel document, representing at least an hour of unsaved work today), and my updated gambling spreadsheet (representing about 20 minutes of work). Just to be clear, even if that little faggot hadn't erased any documents, I still would have been mad. Who thinks it is okay to just steal somebody's computer, and then feign ignorance? Motherfucker my book is open on the table, and you had to move my Paradise Poker backpack just to sit down. I would never do that to anyone, and he needed to understand that his actions have consequences. Most people would just say "okay, I am sure it was just a mistake" and make the conversation easy, but I wanted him to admit that he was trying to get away with something. UPDATE: I just took another look at the kid, and he's in my 530-7 accounting class. There may or may not be some fireworks if he ever makes eye contact with me without wearing the proper levels of pleading shame on his retarded face.

[El Guapo 8]

Last night as I am sitting on the couch finishing my bottle of wine because my wife to 3 sips and said her stomach was upset (bad for her, good for me!) and having some brownies, we decide to start playing TiVo catchup. We decide to start with Law & Order SVU. This is one that has to be put on once the kids are down, for obvious reasons. About 2-3 minutes into the show, this guy:pops on the screen playing the "nephew" of Carol Burnett that he is also banging. He has a wonderful porn stache and he looks either fat or ripped, I can't really tell.Immediately my wife and I start laughing. Wangs secret easter bunny story is one of the few things that I have shared with my wife from here that hasn't completely deadpanned (strangely enough amusing stories from poker website with people you have never met really don't translate well into everyday conversation or reverberation of previously said stories). Thank you for that Wang, I cannot see Mr. Lillard or here Beyonce' now without thinking of you or porn.

[Tactical Bear 3]

Last night as I am sitting on the couch finishing my bottle of wine because my wife to 3 sips and said her stomach was upset (bad for her, good for me!) and having some brownies, we decide to start playing TiVo catchup. We decide to start with Law & Order SVU. This is one that has to be put on once the kids are down, for obvious reasons. About 2-3 minutes into the show, this guy:pops on the screen playing the "nephew" of Carol Burnett that he is also banging. He has a wonderful porn stache and he looks either fat or ripped, I can't really tell.Immediately my wife and I start laughing. Wangs secret easter bunny story is one of the few things that I have shared with my wife from here that hasn't completely deadpanned (strangely enough amusing stories from poker website with people you have never met really don't translate well into everyday conversation or reverberation of previously said stories). Thank you for that Wang, I cannot see Mr. Lillard or here Beyonce' now without thinking of you or porn.

You are fucking welcome. I am glad my real-life misery has been successfully translated into internet misery, and then back again to real-life misery. It's important that the absolute disaster my life has become can be communicated in every medium...I want to suggest that Speedz look up my "Weekend with Matthew Lillard's Exgirlfriend" story that I believe posted here last Sunday. There are pictures, I think...

[El Guapo 8]

I just re-read my post, and besides finding numerous grammatical errors, I am quite upset that "playing TiVo catchup" is exactly what it sounds like, and not a cool pseudonym for coitus action.

[Randy Reed 0]

Took down the FCP 40 person WSOP 2 seat tourney - Poppy finished 3rd so sickies were well represented.In true donkament fashion, my JJ>QQ to stay alive and my AJ>AK on the last hand to win itMaybe Randy and I will meet in Vegas after all!And sounds like a nice trip Matt - this was to Africa right?

I had some people stop by and realized I really didn't want to play and donked off early. As soon as I did I realized I should have let someone else unnamed sitting to my right have them. Congrats both. Sickies have been strong lately, we need to keep it up.

That went awful for me after I got the chip lead when we were 3-handed, capped off by my awful QT push to you. I had big hands the 2 times you gave me a walk too. Ahh well, good win.

Again, nice job guys.

I lost about 200 words of an email to a friend, 3/4 of an accounting homework (representing about an hour of work), my updated fantasy baseball draft tool for my auction tomorrow (an excel document, representing at least an hour of unsaved work today), and my updated gambling spreadsheet (representing about 20 minutes of work). Just to be clear, even if that little faggot hadn't erased any documents, I still would have been mad. Who thinks it is okay to just steal somebody's computer, and then feign ignorance? Motherfucker my book is open on the table, and you had to move my Paradise Poker backpack just to sit down. I would never do that to anyone, and he needed to understand that his actions have consequences. Most people would just say "okay, I am sure it was just a mistake" and make the conversation easy, but I wanted him to admit that he was trying to get away with something. UPDATE: I just took another look at the kid, and he's in my 530-7 accounting class. There may or may not be some fireworks if he ever makes eye contact with me without wearing the proper levels of pleading shame on his retarded face.

Whooooaaaaa

Last night as I am sitting on the couch finishing my bottle of wine because my wife to 3 sips and said her stomach was upset (bad for her, good for me!) and having some brownies, we decide to start playing TiVo catchup. We decide to start with Law & Order SVU. This is one that has to be put on once the kids are down, for obvious reasons. About 2-3 minutes into the show, this guy:pops on the screen playing the "nephew" of Carol Burnett that he is also banging. He has a wonderful porn stache and he looks either fat or ripped, I can't really tell.Immediately my wife and I start laughing. Wangs secret easter bunny story is one of the few things that I have shared with my wife from here that hasn't completely deadpanned (strangely enough amusing stories from poker website with people you have never met really don't translate well into everyday conversation or reverberation of previously said stories). Thank you for that Wang, I cannot see Mr. Lillard or here Beyonce' now without thinking of you or porn.

Scanning through movies on the other night looking for something to watch I spotted Matthew Lillard in a title and said, "Hey, It's Matthew Lillard!" which I always do now. Deb just shakes her head and shrugs. I don't think she really cared for Maggie for letting that slip.

[LadyGrey 6]

Hot damn it, I'm trying to watch Rock of Love Bus with Bret Michaels and it is being interrupted by a high wind warning. I think I had better skip my class in case the wind kills me. It almost whipped me up off my feet when I was walking to class earlier.

[beans-n-icewater 18]

Beans update of the day....Almost got lost on the four wheeler looking for sals cousins houseRandom pic while peeingOn the way to investigate the rumor that an undiscovered petroglyph may be down this narrow pass...Amazingly, a new tribe called the BocaMexis inhabited this area many years ago. Even more surprising is the McDonalds golden arches and the McNuggets being dipped in BBQ sauce in the lower right hand corner...I just cant seem to get Randy outta my head....

[Tactical Bear 3]

I just cant seem to get Randy outta my head....

Hilarious

[brvheart 1,755]

Roatan, Honduras. And I can't emphasize how strongly I recommend that anyone looking for a cool island vacation check it out. I CAN'T EMPHASIZE IT ENOUGH.

Oh.

Every night I take 5 or 6 over the counter sleeping pills.

This CAN'T be good.

[Randy Reed 0]

HAHAHAHAHAHAI just spewed chunks of carrot all over.

[Napa_Don 688]

Just to be clear, even if that little faggot hadn't erased any documents, I still would have been mad. Who thinks it is okay to just steal somebody's computer, and then feign ignorance? Motherfucker my book is open on the table, and you had to move my Paradise Poker backpack just to sit down. I would never do that to anyone, and he needed to understand that his actions have consequences. Most people would just say "okay, I am sure it was just a mistake" and make the conversation easy, but I wanted him to admit that he was trying to get away with something.

That'd be me. We have an over abundance of foreign students here, so I guess nothing that they do surprises me anymore. Had I lost the amount of documents that you did I would be really pissed, too. See, even now I'm taking the less confrontational route.

[Tactical Bear 3]

This CAN'T be good.

I asked a doctor once, and there's absolutely nothing wrong with it. No damage in the short- or longterm is likely to result.Victory: Wang

[JubilantLankyLad 1,957]

I do. I leave my apartment early to get here and hang out. It's like a combination of Cheers and... I don't know, but everybody here knows me. I'm semi-famous because I do something ridiculous in public once a week. For example: my conversation with Nidhep Raj Haberdashery today. That's going to get around, as will my "Don't worry. I'm not going to keep talking to you" comment. People are kind of scared of me. I've had a few people in classes tell me they were under the impression that I was this huge jerk, just because of all the stuff they've seen, and stuff they've heard about me.

this was fanfreakingtastic

Hot damn it, I'm trying to watch Rock of Love Bus with Bret Michaels and it is being interrupted by a high wind warning. I think I had better skip my class in case the wind kills me. It almost whipped me up off my feet when I was walking to class earlier.

eat a sandwich, and don't check it for hair first

Beans update of the day....just cant seem to get Randy outta my head....

oh, well done, wallet o' shrutebucks for that one.

[JubilantLankyLad 1,957]

I asked a doctor once, and there's absolutely nothing wrong with it. No damage in the short- or longterm is likely to result.Victory: Wang

had he recently stayed in a Holiday Inn Express?

[LadyGrey 6]

eat a sandwich, and don't check it for hair first

I weigh like 150lbs so don't poke the bear.A sandwich does sound good though. I'm hungry.

[JubilantLankyLad 1,957]

I weigh like 150lbs so don't poke the bear.A sandwich does sound good though. I'm hungry.

you weigh 'like' 150lbs? 'like' as in, you put either you or 150lbs on a scale, and the needle moves?

[strategy 4]

I was going to say what sal said to the computer lab story. seriously man, just use your fucking laptop and stop letting these halfnigs ruin your day. someone once took my computer in an empty lab, but really I had nothing open and didn't leave anything at the desk, so I can see how it would happen. KU makes everyone log in with their specific ID and I guess he was just being lazy.

[speedz99 145]

I think you're missing the point.

Yup. The point is that it turned into an amusing story for me to read, so it's ok.

I want to suggest that Speedz look up my "Weekend with Matthew Lillard's Exgirlfriend" story that I believe posted here last Sunday. There are pictures, I think...

I'll do my best, but I suck at searching.

I just cant seem to get Randy outta my head....

Is there a way for someone to explain this to me without ruining the joke?Hey...Rando, how's the cancer going?

Oh.

Look at my post again and use google. JERK!

[speedz99 145]

I can't find it.