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and after 3 days, he is risen!

If you are paying $20 for a haircut, I imagine people assume you did it yourself anyway.

Pocket change cost me my first and only black girlfriend.   It was in the middle of a roaring poker boom and I was flush in ways most men don't even bother dreaming of. Money, it was like dirt to me

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I think Wang looks kind of like Tom "durrrr" Dwan. For those of you who don't really follow poker anymore (all of you?) he is one of the sickest players atm. But, he is gay, so, probably fit in here. Sal reminds me of one of the potheads in Super Troopers, but only at the end when they order the keg and they bust them.
Oh man, Durr...My best friend and roommate used to play Durr heads-up on Paradise Poker, and had a winning record against him over like 10K+ hands. They used to sometimes play 3 handed, and it was hilarious. The third guy just had no idea how to adjust, since Durr and my BFF are ultra-ultra agggressive. The third guy would just surrender his 20 dollar big-blinds, and then randomly re-raise to 1700 from the small blind when the button made a standard raise to 65. My friend said, "God, he's doing this with hands like A9 and 66. I hope I pick up like AJo so I can stack him." Three hands later he picked up AJo on the button, made it 65, small-blind random shoved, and Chris snapped called. Small blind showed A9o....At one point, before he was a legend, Durr won a seat to a Paradise Poker Aruba tourney or something, but he was like 18 so he couldn't play, and had to pretend his dad was him. They had a picture on Paradise's website of Tom "Durrr" Dwan and his son. For like 2 months we thought Durrr was the 55 year old man and Durrr's whigger son was just Durrr's whigger son. "Durrr's Whigger Son" jokes STILL fly around our apartment pretty regularly.Anyway, I don't look like Durrrr. He's a good looking guy, but he embarrasses himself on TV all the time, so I like that.
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I have been trying to think of a proper response to the "Randy Reed and Cancer" situation we've got going on, here.Initial reaction: "Man, that sucks because I like Randy -- you know, for a guy I don't know -- and Cancer isn't fun even if it's, like, the good cancer, right?"Secondary reaction: "There has to be funny, mean-spirited jokes I can make that are not really mean-spirited, but serve to (a) acknowledge the situation and (B) not make it all weird."Tertiary reaction: "Fuck, I smoke a lot of cigarettes. So I might get cancer. I take an expensive anti-oxidant supplement, though, so that evens out right? It doesn't matter that I'm thinking of myself instead of Randy, because nobody will ever know, and that's only natural, right?"Anyway, here's my offer:If you are dying or something, I will:(a) Write something to be said at your funeral. It will be... inappropriate, but only mildly inappropriate. If I receive an invite to the funeral, I will attend. I will then try to parlay your death into: sexual intercourse with someone related to you (but not that closely) or one of your friends's daughters, because I like to imagine you would like that.(B) Try to write something moving and deep for Deb. At the end there will be a joke and when she rereads it she'll probably realize that it's all kinda melodramatic.© Do something else you want me to do, since I like doing stuff. ONLY IF YOU ARE KINDA DYING THOUGH. No freebies just because you MIGHT be kinda dying. Wang

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Speaking of Randy dying...Hey Randy, if you do indeed die, have you instructed Deb to log onto your account and let us know?If the answer is yes, do you plan on faking that scenario at some point to see how we react?If the answer is no to faking it, are you just saying that so as not to spoil the surprise?If the answer is no to not spoiling it, are you still just holding onto that lie?If the answer is no to holding onto the lie, do you think it's your used car salesman experience that makes you lie so much?

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Cool. ElGuapo- see? Something else to check out. That's a great deal btw!
Yeah, for some reason the Mountaineer that I just looked at was about the same, and 17K, so I am having trouble finding the best deals.
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Speaking of Randy dying...Hey Randy, if you do indeed die, have you instructed Deb to log onto your account and let us know?If the answer is yes, do you plan on faking that scenario at some point to see how we react?If the answer is no to faking it, are you just saying that so as not to spoil the surprise?If the answer is no to not spoiling it, are you still just holding onto that lie?If the answer is no to holding onto the lie, do you think it's your used car salesman experience that makes you lie so much?
this is pretty awesome.
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You know, I hope they come out with a longevity drug and all us sickies could get together and watch our great, great , grandkids get together and we could laugh at them. But if the worst news were to happen (it's not) and I was told I had6 months to live I truly believe I would look on the bright side. No work, fuck that! I would spend everyminute I had trying to have as much fun as possible before I left this god-forsaken hellhole of a planet. Oh wait, this is the hellhole, the planet's pretty cool actually. But whatever. My hero is Brian from Monty Python's Life of Brian, "always look on the bright side of life, doo doo, doo doo, doo doo do do.
I won't have great great grandkids. You have to have sex with women for that kind of thing to happen. But I'll go hang out and complain about how all of your great great grandkids are loud, smelly, and obnoxious. Then I'll trip on my shoelace and everyone will laugh at the angry, lonely old man.I think you're going to be around for a long time and this is just a slightly scary blip on your record.
Hey Randy, if you do indeed die, have you instructed Deb to log onto your account and let us know?If the answer is yes, do you plan on faking that scenario at some point to see how we react?If the answer is no to faking it, are you just saying that so as not to spoil the surprise?If the answer is no to not spoiling it, are you still just holding onto that lie?If the answer is no to holding onto the lie, do you think it's your used car salesman experience that makes you lie so much?
Wow.
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You know, CindyLou really, REALLY takes advantage of the anonymity the internet affords us all. We could learn from him. PS- I have his mailing address, Randy, so if you die, you should instruct Deb to send him an urn with fake ashes in it.

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You know, CindyLou really, REALLY takes advantage of the anonymity the internet affords us all. We could learn from him.
Randy knows who I am.Or, at least, he thinks he knows who I am, but he might be wrong.Which would be even better than anonymity.
PS- I have his mailing address, Randy.
How's that secret santa gift coming along?
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I'm older than all of the other 1st quarter copywriters. How much older? Well, I tried to namedrop John Larroquette at a bar last night, and none of them knew who he was.I should have stopped there, but no, I tried to jog their memories by saying that he was from Night Court. That was met with silence and blank stares, until one of them asked, "Isn't that Kenneth from 30 Rock's favorite show?"So old.

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just went downstairs to get a glass of water and i'm pretty sure i heard pleasure moans coming from the deck. i didnt stay around long enough to make sure, but i think my old man was giving it to the girlfriend out back, in the hot tub.no sleep tonight.

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I just watched an awful movie, but damn, I really am fond of that Isla Fisher?Is she british in real life? If so, I wouldn't know what to do? I think she's ridic as it is, but with that accent? Whoa.*not all british accents are hot. Some are downright awful, but as a rule, the more refined sounding ones are hot.Edit: Ok, not british. Here is what I found. Mini BiographyBorn in 1976 to Scottish parents in the Middle Eastern country of Oman, her family moved to Australia in the early 1980s.

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oh yeah, rules. And she has a kid and is married to Sascha Baron Cohen.isla_fisher300.0.0.0x0.300x400.jpegIt all starts with the hair.The movieHot Rodthat Andy Samberg, what an actor

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Jerking off all night to the old man and his chick, eh? It's a little weird, but ok.
I'm so self involved that I thought this post was about my last two posts.and who are you kidding, you'll be either jerking off to Suited's dad and his g/f in the hot tub or you'll be jerking it to suited jerking it to his dad and g/f.
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damn, I really am fond of that Isla Fisher?
yes, i think you are. and her character in wedding crashers is great.
Jerking off all night to the old man and his chick, eh? It's a little weird, but ok.
amazing. :wink:
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oh yeah, rules. And she has a kid and is married to Sascha Baron Cohen.isla_fisher300.0.0.0x0.300x400.jpegIt all starts with the hair.The movieHot Rodthat Andy Samberg, what an actor
Is that the horny one from Wedding Crashers as well? I don't usually go for red heads but this one has such a beautiful face.
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Beanz you around?The shower tap just broke. It was leaking so I went to tighten it. it then spun around and turned on. I kept turning it and now it's mostly off but it"s still leaking quite a bit. I could call the agent but they won't come today and I want to have a shower.thanks

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The shower tap just broke. It was leaking so I went to tighten it. it then spun around and turned on.
Please tell me this happened while you were fully clothed and standing beneath the nozzle.
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