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and after 3 days, he is risen!

If you are paying $20 for a haircut, I imagine people assume you did it yourself anyway.

Pocket change cost me my first and only black girlfriend.   It was in the middle of a roaring poker boom and I was flush in ways most men don't even bother dreaming of. Money, it was like dirt to me

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My paragragh and sentance structure? Probably because i'm work and go back and forth and lose my train of thought I guess. That and I suck at english.
I was talking about how your sentencesoftenlook like this and go to the next lineat random times.
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I was talking about how your sentencesoftenlook like this and go to the next lineat random times.
Yeah, I was talking to customers, answering the phone and other junk, kinda going back and forth on what I wanted to say.SORRY *******!kidding!
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Yeah, I was talking to customers, answering the phone and other junk, kinda going back and forth on what I wanted to say.SORRY *******!kidding!
No, I don't think that's it.But hey, I was just curious. In the grand scheme of things it's not really all that important. I mean, it's not like you have cancer or anyth-...oh wait.
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No, I don't think that's it.But hey, I was just curious. In the grand scheme of things it's not really all that important. I mean, it's not like you have cancer or anyth-...oh wait.
Oh you know i'm going to pull that cancer card out quite often, even more than the metamucil one.
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Randy, God gave you cancer for a reason. He wants you to die.Seriously though, good to hear it was caught (what sounds like) extremely early. Hope the next round of tests go well.

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Oh you know i'm going to pull that cancer card out quite often, even more than the metamucil one.
RR: Honey, I’m going to go play some poker.Deb: Randy, that’s all you’ve been doing lat-RR: I have cancer.Deb: Ok, fine, go play your poker.RR: And can you get me a beer while you’re up?Deb: Don’t you think you’ve had eno-RR: Cancer!
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colbert's interview with cramer was awesome.
You know what, after you posted a Daily Show clip the other day, I decided to start tivoing the show. Never really watched it before, not since Kilborn, but I figured I live liberal politics and Stewart, so what the hell. Damned if I wasn't dying laughing at the first 5 minutes of Tuesday nights show. Thanks. Now I have another thing on my tivo, but it seems to move quickly, so that's ok.
Wang is cranky in the morning. I am in a good mood today, so my crankiness manifested itself as: snark.So I'm in the computer lab (I am pretty much always in the computer lab), looking at some lecture notes for a quiz I have coming up in a few minutes, rocking out to this song on my iPod, when the woman (description: 35ish, Farrah Fawcett hairdo, falcon beak, probably a horrible ****) at the station next to mine jerks her head around and says "I can hear that."The exchange:Farrah Falcon: "I can hear that."Wang: (hears her comment perfectly) (makes confused face, points at headphones to convey "I can't hear you, because I am listening to this music on my ridiculous, oversized headphones)Farrah Falcon: (speaking slower, louder, and more enunciatively) "I CAN HEAR THAT."Wang: (keeps confused face, speaks at a normal volume) "I CAN NOT HEAR YOU."Farrah Falcon: (very, very loudly) "YOUR MUSIC IS TOO LOUD!"Wang: (removes headphones and points to sign on wall that says "Quiet Please") "Hey, I'm trying to study here. Could you keep it down? People are staring."Farrah Falcon: "I can hear your music. It's bothering me."Wang: "And I can see your haircut. It's bothering me."Farrah Falcon: "Your music is distra-" (suddenly realizes what I said, and becomes furious) "Excuse me?!"Wang: "Your haircut. It's distracting me."Farrah Falcon: "You... it's not like you're Brad Pitt or anything."Wang: (makes disappointed face) "Now you're embarrassing yourself. Just stop." (puts headphones back on, turns up volume)Farrah Falcon: (speaking and gesticulating wildly, but to no avail, since I'm rocking out and can't hear a thing)Wang: (removes headphones) "My exgirlfriend dated Matthew Lillard." (puts headphones back on)
Nope
So you never were taught how to dress for success?
Are you kidding? That shirt is like an Armani tuxedo in Virginia.
Cancer
Good thoughts and all of that
You are you trying to fool Wang... you're at least an 80 - 85 on the looks scale. Which is 100 when compared to everyone else on the forum. You're like the head cheerleader that tells the ugly girls that she's too fat.
Man, you're gay. I thought god hates fags. At least that's what that church in Kansas tells me
Well, I'm officially in Virginia. There's a lot more southern accents than I was expecting. It's like I'm in Ohio or something.
Why are you in Virginia?
Randy, God gave you cancer for a reason. He wants you to die.
this is why I love this thread, we can say horrible things like this and get away with it.
RR: Honey, I’m going to go play some poker.Deb: Randy, that’s all you’ve been doing lat-RR: I have cancer.Deb: Ok, fine, go play your poker.RR: And can you get me a beer while you’re up?Deb: Don’t you think you’ve had eno-RR: Cancer!
the last RR line, I said it like Costanza. Made it funnier to me. Nice
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You know what, after you posted a Daily Show clip the other day, I decided to start tivoing the show. Never really watched it before, not since Kilborn, but I figured I live liberal politics and Stewart, so what the hell. Damned if I wasn't dying laughing at the first 5 minutes of Tuesday nights show. Thanks. Now I have another thing on my tivo, but it seems to move quickly, so that's ok. NopeAre you kidding? That shirt is like an Armani tuxedo in Virginia.Good thoughts and all of thatMan, you're gay. I thought god hates fags. At least that's what that church in Kansas tells meWhy are you in Virginia? this is why I love this thread, we can say horrible things like this and get away with it. the last RR line, I said it like Costanza. Made it funnier to me. Nice
I agree, pretty awesome.
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Willing to trade if your gf makes a wicked smart funny gif for my sig.
Someone has to try to make this account funny, might as well be LG
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I.... have become a nervous wreck. I am hanging out with Magglio on Saturday. The conversation went something like this:Wang: (taps Mags on the shoulder) Maggie: (surprised look)Wang: "Hey there, stranger..."Maggie: "Hi."Wang: "How are you? How you been?"Maggie: "Oh... okay. You?"Wang: "Good. Real good."(brief small talk)Wang: "So I was thinking. I think we've now officially NOT known each other longer than we've known each other, so I've decided we should probably be friends."Maggie: "Yeah, I was just thinking about you today."Wang: "Yeah? Why?"Maggie: (shrugs) "I dunno. I just was."Wang: "We should do something soon. Hang out, catch up."Maggie: "Yeah, I'd like that..."Wang: "I know you're really busy and all, so just let me know, give me a day that works and we ca-"Maggie: "I don't close tomorrow or Saturday, so I'm free those nights."Wang: "I'm seeing an old friend Friday, and I work Saturday night..."Maggie: "I don't have to be to work until like 3 on Sunday, so if we have to meet up late or something, that's cool."Wang: "Okay. Okay then. I'll see you Saturday?" Maggie: "Yeah."I will **** this up sooooo bad. I am operating under the assumption that there's a chance something could happen -- and, realistically, I probably want it to -- but I will never, ever make that move. We broke up because she didn't have enough time, and it really had pretty much nothing to do with how we interacted. We always had fun, the chemistry was great, and we liked each other. So I am going to worry myself into a fit and then be a total tool. I hate everything. I have a big forehead, large ears, and a gigantic nose. Wang

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Wang, I like you less after seeing your picture. You're too good looking to constantly be going about how you're not that good looking. You're no Richard Gere (what?), but give me a break. And way to go for another indie-looking chick. It'll be fun to find out which C list artist this one has porked.I'm not a fun drunk.Oh, but don't forget I'm going to Honduras on saturday...I hope y'all don't miss my occasional useless contributions to this thread too much. LOVE YOU!

Hair.jpg
Please tell me that's your natural facial hair growth pattern (no cheeks, just stache and chin). Please.
So I went this morning and well, guess who has cancer? Yep!
I wonder what the most inappropriate response to this would be. Certainly not a joke about cancer...maybe something more subtle, like a lack of even slight acknowledgement...
Why is your formatting always so fucked up?
You. You're good.
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Hey, *******? That indie looking chick was the same indie-looking chick I was dating November-January I was babbling about constantly (including above).As far as my looks go, I am going to take a picture of myself shirtless RIGHT ****ING NOW in my bathroom. The lighting in the campus bathrooms was flattering.

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Hey, *******? That indie looking chick was the same indie-looking chick I was dating November-January I was babbling about constantly (including above).As far as my looks go, I am going to take a picture of myself shirtless RIGHT ****ING NOW in my bathroom. The lighting in the campus bathrooms was flattering.
Mm hmm. Make sure to try and hide your 6 pack.FUCK YOU AND YOUR ATTRACTIVE FACE/BODY COMBINATION.I need to go to sleep...but first I have to write a 3 page essay on Interpreter of Maladies. Please please please don't ever read that book, any of you. It's ****ing horrible.
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Hey, *******? That indie looking chick was the same indie-looking chick I was dating November-January I was babbling about constantly (including above).As far as my looks go, I am going to take a picture of myself shirtless RIGHT ****ING NOW in my bathroom. The lighting in the campus bathrooms was flattering.
So if you bang maggie again, does that up your number? How are you tracking this?
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So if you bang maggie again, does that up your number? How are you tracking this?
No, that is absolutely cheating. I am a bookie -- and I set most of my lines myself, so I'm pretty good at this -- and I'd handicap my odds of having sexual contact with Maggie at something like:Will there be a romantic-style kiss?Yes +500No-650Will there be heavy petting?Yes +1200No-1500(Wagers will be graded as a win if there is significant hand-to-breast contact, shirt on or off, lasting longer than 30 seconds, and/or if one party rubs the other's genitals.)Will there be oral sex?Yes +5000No-7500Will there be sexual intercourse?Yes+10000No-12500Smart money would probably be as follows:Lay the price on the kiss, but hedge by taking a small piece of the "yes" on petting, oral sex, and sexual intercourse.I'd lay 650 on the "no" side for the kiss, and then drop 50 each on the "yes" side for rest. The only disaster scenario would be "late-night kiss, with insta-regrets and no further activity," leading to a net loss of 800. Just so you guys know, these could never be parlayed or anything.
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