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I Called In Sick Today


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Jesus, what the f is up with all the chinese references today and well, last night. Since last night I have seen so many references to chinese and more importantly chinese food and now I CRAVE it. I looked for a chinese place to get lunch today but this sluttown has no chinese places. Probably too scared since this town is nothing but displaced redneck white trash (sorry to any white trash reading this). Now boom, three posts referencing chinese, chinese food, and chinese checkers. I better get some chinese food for dinner or I will explode.
I watched the Japan vs. China WBC game this afternoon (tape delayed from 4:30 a.m.)
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If you are paying $20 for a haircut, I imagine people assume you did it yourself anyway.

and after 3 days, he is risen!

Pocket change cost me my first and only black girlfriend.   It was in the middle of a roaring poker boom and I was flush in ways most men don't even bother dreaming of. Money, it was like dirt to me

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Grats to our man silkyjohnson who shipped a 1st place win last night and the $43k that came with it!Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Congrats. Beers on you when you come down. You don't have to pay or anything, I just want to drink them off your shirtless and possibly pantless body. On second thought, lets leave the pants on. Last time, I had to wear an eyepatch for a month AND go to seven AA meetings.
Congrats silky!Any chance you feel like being a teacher?
SureGot $3k for some IM chats, mostly with other suckers paying $3k?
imitation chineese iphones for all!thanks guys.
YEEESSSSSS!!!Congrats, btw
another full quotation
You are aware that you don't have to quote the entire post every time right?Cue you quoting this entire post and writing "Yes"
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I don't know what you're talking about, but I'm going to respond anyway.I tried a few times to pm beans and I kept getting a message that said his inbox was full or he disabled pm's or whatever.But apparently whatever it was has been rectified.(beans, you can ignore that pm from me.)So...Sal...nevermind about what I said.Actually, you can mind what I said, but nevermind about the original tone.
I PM'd 'you' at least once maybe twice and haven't heard back yet. I'M VERY CURIOUS AS TO THE ANSWER!?!
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I have a chess set made out of Lapis and Marble.

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Yeah but is one missing the seven of clubs!?!?
actually once during a home game we had to stop a hand and recount both decks because someone was dealt 7c7c in hold'em. goddamn cheap vegas decks.
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EDITED for Ronald McMexico
You're a bastard. (I suppose it could be as annoying as someone having a HUGE pic in their sig... so I'll stop doing that.)
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OK so now I've gotten 3 more parking tickets for not having a front license plate on my car. I have the front license plate, but my car (which was bought in Indiana which doesn't require front license plates) doesn't have a license plate holder or anywhere to screw the license plate into the front of my car.BEANS - do they sell things that I can somehow attach to my front bumper to screw the license plate into? What's my best plan of action here?I can't wait to appeal these fuckers in court. 4 parking tickets within 4 days totalling $200 I'm going to go off on these fucks, and at least get $200 worth of berating in.

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I would move to Arkansas next week if you were hiring.
Funny you should mention hiring.... The office has been flooded with applications recently. Looks like half of the mechanical companies in Nevada and Arkansas have laid off or went under the last two weeksOne guy sent in a pic of himself and his family....The dartboard now has a new target so Daniels neck should stop hurtingTHAT WAS A JOKE MRB!
damn it, why do you always edit out the stuff that you KNOW we want to see? was it you and the army goat?
It was up for a few minutes....YOU SNOOZE YOU LOSE!Rumor has it the goat was retired to a sexual rehab clinic.... according to Jeff742834823's sig its replacement is a sticky chicken
Grats to our man silkyjohnson who shipped a 1st place win last night and the $43k that came with it!
Who was the recipient? And I hope he didnt use FedX.... remember my secret santa tracking posts?
we'll see how that goes, and then perhaps a pm to beans.
Good luck with that.
Its cleared out some now....down to ninety six percent fullI just cant bring myself to delete all the moderator threats Ive received over the years
I submitted my claim at about 12:30, and just a few minutes ago the head of customer service from the cable company called me, apologized profusely, and refunded the whole amount. motherfuck yeah.
Please let me close the books on your phone rebate..... did you ever get it or not????
(beans, you can ignore that pm from me.)
I will, but it wont keep me from investigating the matter further....So the sticky chicken actually lays phallic shaped eggs?
Little unknown fact; I love to collect board games that are defective and/or unusuable.
Ive always wanted an Operation! game wired up to a stun gun....Instead of drinking a beer every time an organ is successfully removed, Id make Shane drink waterThe Dts would get him electrocuted
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actually once during a home game we had to stop a hand and recount both decks because someone was dealt 7c7c in hold'em. goddamn cheap vegas decks.
Those ex casino decks are counted and verified by the casino before going to the local prison system. There they are put in order by felons and sent back out on the marketOnce in a while you get a card with a message from the con
BEANS - do they sell things that I can somehow attach to my front bumper to screw the license plate into? What's my best plan of action here?
I have the same problem with some of mine.... Chevys latest version of the Vette has no front plate provisions, so I made a bracket from aluminum that snaps in the front bumper opening instead of drilling holes for Nevada and Cali. When Im here it rides under the hoodWhat kind of car do you have?If its a model I have access to Ill build ya one
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Please let me close the books on your phone rebate..... did you ever get it or not????
nope, not yet, but the web tracking thing says "approved, in processing" which means I'll probably get it now, just sometime around august.
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Ford explorer. I put the plate on my dashboard, if I get a ticket again tomorrow I swear I'm going to duct tape it to my car until I can figure out how to rig it up.
Looks like they are offered with both plastic and metal front bumpers according to year.... what is it?I searched for what they looked like until I hit this....ford_explorer_atv_girl_stuck_008.jpg...and lost my train of thought
nope, not yet, but the web tracking thing says "approved, in processing" which means I'll probably get it now, just sometime around august.
I dont have that much fingernails left
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Looks like they are offered with both plastic and metal front bumpers according to year.... what is it?I searched for what they looked like until I hit this....ford_explorer_atv_girl_stuck_008.jpg...and lost my train of thoughtI dont have that much fingernails left
i'd hit that too
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i'd hit that too
Apparently its some new fetish Ive never heard of....sorta like sals muffin topsHEY! Salbeans TOWING SERVICE!By investigating the phenomena I also learned that someone out there is offering high heeled tennis shoes...ford_explorer_atv_girl_stuck_007.jpg Now I have to order Odor Eaters to go along with the stripper pole I ordered for the wifeShe thinks Ill be saving money by purchasing the device and giving her all the cashI have news for her.... those pennies and dimes can hurt when thrown
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Looks like they are offered with both plastic and metal front bumpers according to year.... what is it?I searched for what they looked like until I hit this....ford_explorer_atv_girl_stuck_008.jpg...and lost my train of thoughtI dont have that much fingernails left
200TITTIES4 I believe. It's a plastic bumper. I'm pretty sure I'm just going to drill holes in my bumper I don't really care.
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I'm pretty sure I'm just going to drill holes in my bumper I don't really care.
Everything I found required drilling visual holes like the pic below after the plate was removed, so I designed a set using holes under the bumper cover...licensebracket.jpgLet me know if you want a set.... Ill build them tomorrow sometime and youll get them Tuesday or soIll get a jump on the upcoming secret easter bunny promotionedit... DONT TELL ANYONE THEY WERE FROM ME!
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Dr. Asian: "Haaaha! (points at Wang) VERY SMALL!"
We're having a party at my house on Saturday, mostly with the students in my roommate's MBA class. He made a point to invite the international students, so it should be a great time. We're talking Chinese, African, Bulgarian, Turkish, etc. Hopefully I'll get a few stories out of it.
Remember me talking about my son's girlfriend. The kind of skanky one with all the tats but has a heart of gold and gave her kidney to a stranger? Yeah, that one. He just told me they are moving in together and well, you know what's next. She'll get knocked up, they'll get married, he'll work endless hours trying to further his law career before fooling around with a young secratary and getting divorced and screwed out of everything no matter how many Inkie letters he writes.Well, maybe i'm jumping the gun a little.
You underestimate the power of Inkie.
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We're having a party at my house on Saturday, mostly with the students in my roommate's MBA class. He made a point to invite the international students, so it should be a great time. We're talking Chinese, African, Bulgarian, Turkish, etc. Hopefully I'll get a few stories out of it.
You should make it a potluck dinner and get them all to bring a dish from their native land. I love trying food from other countries.p.s. I don't expect you to even consider this suggestion.
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We're having a party at my house on Saturday, mostly with the students in my roommate's MBA class. He made a point to invite the international students, so it should be a great time. We're talking Chinese, African, Bulgarian, Turkish, etc. Hopefully I'll get a few stories out of it.
oh yeah? well I'm waking up early, drinking coffee, then working on the project to fix my bathroom floor, then probably turning in early because I don't have any friends, so who's the cool one NOW? HUH BUDDY?I am really excited about the weather this weekend though. supposed to be mid seventies on saturday. thinking about going to pop off a few rounds (no not like that dawson) over at the farm. it's gonna be so nice to be able to go outside again.
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BEANS - do they sell things that I can somehow attach to my front bumper to screw the license plate into? What's my best plan of action here?
I have the same problem with some of mine.... Chevys latest version of the Vette has no front plate provisions, so I made a bracket from aluminum that snaps in the front bumper opening instead of drilling holes for Nevada and Cali. When Im here it rides under the hoodWhat kind of car do you have?If its a model I have access to Ill build ya one
I'm in the same boat as the stuff-master, except I've only gotten 2 warnings and 1 $25 dollar ticket in 6 years. Anything for a Pontiac Grand Prix?
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We're having a party at my house on Saturday, mostly with the students in my roommate's MBA class. He made a point to invite the international students, so it should be a great time. We're talking Chinese, African, Bulgarian, Turkish, etc. Hopefully I'll get a few stories out of it.
TOGA TOGA TOGA
||||VGIFS
How much??
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To be fair, I will charge a rate of a certain amount for every 10 minutes it takes me. A short gif will be cheaper as it takes 10-20 mins, a long one will take 30 mins or more and as such cost more. Ellen is an example of a longer gif I created:finished-ellen-crying-full.gifGoddamn, it breaks my heart every time.
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