Jump to content

I Called In Sick Today


Recommended Posts

While this isn't quite as embarrassing as taking a walk with god, it's close.
Ceteris Paribus, mine would be worse. Luckily, there were some extenuating circumstances that excuse my behavior in some small measure, not least of which was my admission that The Ballad of Eric and Inkie was designed to prey on the weaknesses of a female. It wasn't fabricated from whole cloth, but it wasn't exactly the most honest representation of my abilities/thoughts/skills, either, and I've already admitted it is probably the worst thing I have ever done.I would submit, however, it's still better than something the average 25 year old would churn out on short notice. Still: inexcusable. I am hoping you guys will use it to shame me for the rest of my tenure, here.
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Replies 268k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

  • Ron_Mexico

    19414

  • speedz99

    16304

  • Napa Lite

    7767

  • ShakeZuma

    7517

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Posts

and after 3 days, he is risen!

If you are paying $20 for a haircut, I imagine people assume you did it yourself anyway.

Pocket change cost me my first and only black girlfriend.   It was in the middle of a roaring poker boom and I was flush in ways most men don't even bother dreaming of. Money, it was like dirt to me

Posted Images

well holy fuck all, those guys are effective! I submitted my claim at about 12:30, and just a few minutes ago the head of customer service from the cable company called me, apologized profusely, and refunded the whole amount. motherfuck yeah.bastards eliminated their movie plans, told me about it, I canceled my plan, but they decided to just go ahead and charge me for it anyways. well I called several times and each time they said they were correcting the bill, but they never did and this month I got a bill for a late charge. I called and they basically said "screw you, pay it". BBB told them F YOU IN YOU A HOMEBOYS.
calling to bitch about bills can be fun. i recently cancelled my home phone, but added ADSL service. they told me there was going to be a $100 installation charge because i wanted them to come and put a new jack in, etc, which i was fine with. i cancelled the service on the 4th, and the billing cycle is on the 5th. well i just got my bill a week ago, or so, and i noticed that they had not removed the phone service charges, likely because they hadn't had a chance to do so between me canceling and the bill being printed the next day. so i called to make sure that there would be a credit on the next bill, but before i could explain why i was calling, the customer service rep on the other end had pulled up my bill, noticed the $100 charge for the install, and voided the entire bill, all the while apologizing profusely. so that worked out pretty nicely for me, i'd have to say.
Link to post
Share on other sites
Wang: "It's not about money in the sense that I'm coming here saying, 'Here, Silky. Take some money.' It's more of a 'may I have some' kind of visit."
So when's the movie coming out?
Ceteris Paribus, mine would be worse. Luckily, there were some extenuating circumstances that excuse my behavior in some small measure, not least of which was my admission that The Ballad of Eric and Inkie was designed to prey on the weaknesses of a female. It wasn't fabricated from whole cloth, but it wasn't exactly the most honest representation of my abilities/thoughts/skills, either, and I've already admitted it is probably the worst thing I have ever done.I would submit, however, it's still better than something the average 25 year old would churn out on short notice. Still: inexcusable. I am hoping you guys will use it to shame me for the rest of my tenure, here.
Extenuating, exshtshmenshmuating.Yes, the shame will be never-ending. I'm already working on some ideas that I'll never follow through with...
Link to post
Share on other sites
lol
When I was in highschool, I heard the word "hippocampus" (an area of the brain that controls memory generation or recollection or something) for the first time, and immediately started laughing uncontrollably in bio class. I couldn't stop, and tears were streaming down my face. Mr. McDonald: "And this area of the brain -- called the Hippocamus -- controls the..."Wang: (raises hand with eyes wide)Mr. M: "Yes Derek?"Wang: "What... what is it called?"Mr. M: "The Hippocampus."Wang: (laughs uncontrollably for 5+ minutes, and ocassionally apologizes, gets it together, and just starts laughing/squealing again)Mr. M: (patience wearing thing) "Why don't you just tell us why you're laughing so hard?"Wang: (crying) "Have you... ha-ha-have you ever se-se... seen FANTASIA?"Mr. M: "Yes."Wang: "THE HIPPOS! The Hi-hi-HIPPOS! From Fantasia, in the tu-tus, dancing..."c247d4f8ca.jpg I seriously laughed so loud I had to eventually leave the classroom to settle myself down. I couldn't stop. Everyone thought I was the weirdest, and I was. Yesterday, in an accounting class, I had this exchange with my Taiwanese Guest Professor. We were discussing how to recognize revenue from products paid for in installments:Dr. Asian: "So, take LCD tv. You have LDC tv? How much LCD tv cost? Five thousand?"Wang: "Well, that's pretty high..."Dr. Asian: "Oh, you have LCD? How much you pay?"Wang: "Like 350 or so."Dr. Asian: "Haaaha! (points at Wang) VERY SMALL!"Wang: "Oh man, I'm having flashbacks to Senior Prom..."I don't know what made me think of that.
Link to post
Share on other sites

Jesus, what the f is up with all the chinese references today and well, last night. Since last night I have seen so many references to chinese and more importantly chinese food and now I CRAVE it. I looked for a chinese place to get lunch today but this sluttown has no chinese places. Probably too scared since this town is nothing but displaced redneck white trash (sorry to any white trash reading this). Now boom, three posts referencing chinese, chinese food, and chinese checkers. I better get some chinese food for dinner or I will explode.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Jesus, what the f is up with all the chinese references today and well, last night. Since last night I have seen so many references to chinese and more importantly chinese food and now I CRAVE it. I looked for a chinese place to get lunch today but this sluttown has no chinese places. Probably too scared since this town is nothing but displaced redneck white trash (sorry to any white trash reading this). Now boom, three posts referencing chinese, chinese food, and chinese checkers. I better get some chinese food for dinner or I will explode.
Take the bridge to Windsor and as soon as you exit you are in China town, boom problem solved.
Link to post
Share on other sites
Take the bridge to Windsor and as soon as you exit you are in China town, boom problem solved.
Except I would have to deal with the US border fags. I will just make my wife pick up either PF Changs or Mountain King on her way home.
Link to post
Share on other sites
Good luck with that.
Pot meet Kettle.
EDITED for Ronald McMexico
You're a weird dude Wang... but my holy hell, your posts are entertaining.
Link to post
Share on other sites

Remember me talking about my son's girlfriend. The kind of skanky one with all the tats but has a heart of gold and gave her kidney to a stranger? Yeah, that one. He just told me they are moving in together and well, you know what's next. She'll get knocked up, they'll get married, he'll work endless hours trying to further his law career before fooling around with a young secratary and getting divorced and screwed out of everything no matter how many Inkie letters he writes.Well, maybe i'm jumping the gun a little.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Pot meet Kettle.
I don't know what you're talking about, but I'm going to respond anyway.I tried a few times to pm beans and I kept getting a message that said his inbox was full or he disabled pm's or whatever.But apparently whatever it was has been rectified.(beans, you can ignore that pm from me.)So...Sal...nevermind about what I said.Actually, you can mind what I said, but nevermind about the original tone.
Link to post
Share on other sites
I'd prefer Chinese checkers. I love that game...
I have TWO, yes TWO chinese checkers boards. One is wooden the other is aluminum. The aluminum is loud, so I used the wooden one.
Link to post
Share on other sites
Remember me talking about my son's girlfriend. The kind of skanky one with all the tats but has a heart of gold and gave her kidney to a stranger? Yeah, that one. He just told me they are moving in together and well, you know what's next. She'll get knocked up, they'll get married, he'll work endless hours trying to further his law career before fooling around with a young secratary and getting divorced and screwed out of everything no matter how many Inkie letters he writes.Well, maybe i'm jumping the gun a little.
Time for a little entrapment. You need to convince one of your son's friends to get this girl drunk and make a move on her. You arrange for your son to arrive home and find them in the throes of passion. He will end it with her and his life will not be ruined.
Link to post
Share on other sites
great story
Sequel:I have 2 chessboards. One is cardboard, the other is wooden. My grandpa gave me the wooden one, it's really old so the wood has warped and it isn't flat anymore. The pieces slide off the sides on it, so I use the cardboard one.
Link to post
Share on other sites
I have TWO, yes TWO chinese checkers boards. One is wooden the other is aluminum. The aluminum is loud, so I used the wooden one.
Can I have the aluminum one?
Sequel:I have 2 chessboards. One is cardboard, the other is wooden. My grandpa gave me the wooden one, it's really old so the wood has warped and it isn't flat anymore. The pieces slide off the sides on it, so I use the cardboard one.
Can I have the wooden one?Little unknown fact; I love to collect board games that are defective and/or unusuable.
Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

Announcements


×
×
  • Create New...