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I Called In Sick Today


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If you are paying $20 for a haircut, I imagine people assume you did it yourself anyway.

and after 3 days, he is risen!

Pocket change cost me my first and only black girlfriend.   It was in the middle of a roaring poker boom and I was flush in ways most men don't even bother dreaming of. Money, it was like dirt to me

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jeff rofl @ your sig
I commented on that sig in the actual thread a long time ago... but it still makes me smile everytime I see it. Thanks Strat!
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And Speedz, your foster care stories suck. I have no desire to involve myself with any animal ever, since I'm way too selfish to ever take care of a pet, but they still get to me. STOP MAKING ME FEEL HUMAN.
Sorry I'm a better person than you.
And as a final note, has anyone played at the Mohegan poker room? As far as I knew, they didn't have poker, and I'm heading there for the first time this weekend to appease the girlfriend and her sister, but apparently they opened a separate section in August of 2008 that has poker. I would assume the quality of poker at a new-ish cardroom would be pretty low, but since I think I'll be driving, and the girlfriend has yet to see me gamble in a casino-setting, that I better make it worth my while if I'm going to blow off all the snobby Arabics that I think I'll be going with.Anyone gone to Mohegan in the last 6 months?
1. Have a 3 way with your chick and her twin already, will you?2. Yes, but just for a Hall & Oates show and some drunken slots...I'm not sure if that's helpful.
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beans, why the hell are you cutting so many trees down? are you building a log house? for me to live in?
We had a severe ice storm a couple weeks ago...The stupid city and county I live in deemed the area some sort of disaster area. Im taking advantage of the situation and getting rid of all the trees/limbs/stumps/etc on my properties as the resultIts not everyday that you can get rid of a stump the size of an army huddle without a big dealPlus they expect lotsa smoke and fires around here.... Im turning everything I dont want into black, putrid smoke
The squirrels brought this on themselves.
They have been taunting me this afternoon like you wouldnt believe...
I saw two small dogs running around in the middle of the road, pretty much stopping traffic in both directions.I hope nobody bothered reading that.
I doubt Ive told this here before (I try to portray a heartless bastard image ya know) but a couple of years ago the ball and chain and I were driving from somewhere during a severe thunderstorm and ran across a golden retriever in the middle of an intersectionIt was scared shitless because of the storm and I jumped out and spent thirty minutes in the downpour stopping traffic so it wouldnt get hit....About the time I was ready to pick up rocks and pelt the honking cars a couple of kids showed up and led it homeTurns out a few months later I got a nice fat contract with the kids dad who was a superintendent over a large project....I had no idea it was his until the project was almost over and the story came up
Sam Adams Imperial White tonight, which seems to be just a very strong (10.3% ABV) wheat ale
Finally someone has thought of distilling beer.... Ill check my local supplier for some first thing tomorrowIn other news, Mama Icewaters supper tonight was pinto beans seasoned with leftover pulled pork and hamhocks with fresh jalo cornbreadEvery bite was a virtual orgasm
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loogie: Time to play with my vagina.me: can I come?vagina: hey I was gonna ask the same thingRon Mexico: that's sexistme: more like sex-ishEl G: see masturbation is a sexual act so it goes in the sex category but it's not sex itself so it's sex-ishJJJ: not as funny when you explain itme: so you're saying it's funny!loogie: I make good one liners all the time. I make songs out of a dutch person's strange post. I make the perfect tritz air joke. I do basically everything right but I'm stuck in here.FCP Info2: I can make sure this never happens againEl G: let me guess run...all you had was the vagina joke and you kinda went down a path that didn't lead you anywhere and you didn't know how to properly transition from you first sentence to this one so you used the ellipseme: I liked you better when you knew nothingMentok: bbbeeeeoooooooooouuuuuuuuuuueeeeeeuuuuuuuoooooooooooEl G: where's the engery drink?smurf + jesus + elvis: hahahahahahahank: ha ha ha! laughme: daddy...I mean...Mr. Sebben.me2: I wonder if anyone caught on that the last two jokes are totally Harvey Birdman related and if hank realises that I am his...napa don: did you get that thing I sent ya?clint: I objectme: move along, pal.clint: now listen here. I didn't like how you treated my alter ego there making him out to be a fat hippo with hooves for hands. my alter ego doesn't like you laughing.me2: oh I didn't liiiiikkkeeee. Oh pwwweeassee sir don't...droopy dog: you're insulting me now too?clint: [moves cigar from right corner of his mouth to the left corner of his mouth]me: habeas corpus

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This weekend I got a part time job exercising a horse for this lady here in Ames. Pretty sweet gig actually, the horse is fairly well trained and I get paid pretty well ($13/hr) and, the whole fact that I get paid to ride a horse. Which leads me to Willis, the resident barn cat. She is a big fluffy cat that looks like she has a lion's mane. I think she looks very "regally", but I don't think that makes much sense at all. I'll be sure to snap some pics next time I'm there for LG. She is really friendly and likes hanging out in the pasture with the horses; cool cat imo.

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me: habeas corpus
You really should hang around here until someone decides to get this group involved in something productive....Im not sure what area your talents would be needed in, but I doubt we could pull it off without you
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loogie: Time to play with my vagina.me: can I come?vagina: hey I was gonna ask the same thingRon Mexico: that's sexistme: more like sex-ishEl G: see masturbation is a sexual act so it goes in the sex category but it's not sex itself so it's sex-ishJJJ: not as funny when you explain itme: so you're saying it's funny!loogie: I make good one liners all the time. I make songs out of a dutch person's strange post. I make the perfect tritz air joke. I do basically everything right but I'm stuck in here.FCP Info2: I can make sure this never happens againEl G: let me guess run...all you had was the vagina joke and you kinda went down a path that didn't lead you anywhere and you didn't know how to properly transition from you first sentence to this one so you used the ellipseme: I liked you better when you knew nothingMentok: bbbeeeeoooooooooouuuuuuuuuuueeeeeeuuuuuuuoooooooooooEl G: where's the engery drink?smurf + jesus + elvis: hahahahahahahank: ha ha ha! laughme: daddy...I mean...Mr. Sebben.me2: I wonder if anyone caught on that the last two jokes are totally Harvey Birdman related and if hank realises that I am his...napa don: did you get that thing I sent ya?clint: I objectme: move along, pal.clint: now listen here. I didn't like how you treated my alter ego there making him out to be a fat hippo with hooves for hands. my alter ego doesn't like you laughing.me2: oh I didn't liiiiikkkeeee. Oh pwwweeassee sir don't...droopy dog: you're insulting me now too?clint: [moves cigar from right corner of his mouth to the left corner of his mouth]me: habeas corpus
Now your post is ready for Hollywood.
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2. Yes, but just for a Hall & Oates show and some drunken slots...I'm not sure if that's helpful.
only if being helpful includes being totally f sweet
I think she looks very "regally", but I don't think that makes much sense at all.
this is funnyi drank some craft brewed barley wine tonight (not a lot, but ffs those things are like 10% apv) and i've gotten a combined ~8 hours past two nights, AND i need to be on point tomorrow after another crappy night's sleep. why do i suck so hard sometimes question mark
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i drank some craft brewed barley wine tonight (not a lot, but ffs those things are like 10% apv) and i've gotten a combined ~8 hours past two nights, AND i need to be on point tomorrow after another crappy night's sleep. why do i suck so hard sometimes question mark
cocaine is a helluva drug.
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We had a severe ice storm a couple weeks ago...The stupid city and county I live in deemed the area some sort of disaster area. Im taking advantage of the situation and getting rid of all the trees/limbs/stumps/etc on my properties as the resultIts not everyday that you can get rid of a stump the size of an army huddle without a big dealPlus they expect lotsa smoke and fires around here.... Im turning everything I dont want into black, putrid smoke
I gotta big ass stump/half tree in my front yard right now. I've been meaning to cut it up for about a year, but, well, it looks like it'd be a pain in the ass. supposed to rain saturday too. OH WELL.
You will be the manager of the Tijuana office...
badutsssshhhh.and look at lg and strat touching everybody. it's like they think this is the army thread or something.
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This weekend I got a part time job exercising a horse for this lady here in Ames. Pretty sweet gig actually, the horse is fairly well trained and I get paid pretty well ($13/hr) and, the whole fact that I get paid to ride a horse. Which leads me to Willis, the resident barn cat. She is a big fluffy cat that looks like she has a lion's mane. I think she looks very "regally", but I don't think that makes much sense at all. I'll be sure to snap some pics next time I'm there for LG. She is really friendly and likes hanging out in the pasture with the horses; cool cat imo.
I would do anything to get a job like this. Except actually look for one or apply that is.
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QUESTION FOR BEANS: I need to do some regrouting on the bathtub this weekend. what's the best way to scrape off the old grout before putting the new on?
Step 1: Drain the moonshine.
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loogie: Time to play with my vagina.me: can I come?vagina: hey I was gonna ask the same thingRon Mexico: that's sexistme: more like sex-ishEl G: see masturbation is a sexual act so it goes in the sex category but it's not sex itself so it's sex-ishJJJ: not as funny when you explain itme: so you're saying it's funny!loogie: I make good one liners all the time. I make songs out of a dutch person's strange post. I make the perfect tritz air joke. I do basically everything right but I'm stuck in here.FCP Info2: I can make sure this never happens againEl G: let me guess run...all you had was the vagina joke and you kinda went down a path that didn't lead you anywhere and you didn't know how to properly transition from you first sentence to this one so you used the ellipseme: I liked you better when you knew nothingMentok: bbbeeeeoooooooooouuuuuuuuuuueeeeeeuuuuuuuoooooooooooEl G: where's the engery drink?smurf + jesus + elvis: hahahahahahahank: ha ha ha! laughme: daddy...I mean...Mr. Sebben.me2: I wonder if anyone caught on that the last two jokes are totally Harvey Birdman related and if hank realises that I am his...napa don: did you get that thing I sent ya?clint: I objectme: move along, pal.clint: now listen here. I didn't like how you treated my alter ego there making him out to be a fat hippo with hooves for hands. my alter ego doesn't like you laughing.me2: oh I didn't liiiiikkkeeee. Oh pwwweeassee sir don't...droopy dog: you're insulting me now too?clint: [moves cigar from right corner of his mouth to the left corner of his mouth]me: habeas corpus
i dont understand one single word of this, but i love it.
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let's get our regional stereotypes up to date shall we.
I didn't know you were from Iowa.
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You really should hang around here until someone decides to get this group involved in something productive....Im not sure what area your talents would be needed in, but I doubt we could pull it off without you
Now your post is ready for Hollywood.
i dont understand one single word of this, but i love it.
[making hands into guns by pulling back his pinky, ring, and middle fingers whilst pointing the index finger and thumb (which make a 90degree angle) and shoots them off repeatedly like I'm trying to woo the ladies on a dating gameshow because praise or interpreting something as praise is always a confidence booster]if there was a smiley for that I'd use that here. screw the rules.
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So they only 'forgot' the mustard? At McD's they only put on 5 small dots of mustard and it's below the ketchup, so it might have been there.
You sure there is nothing else on a quarter pounder with cheese? I don't know my McD's but I thought something else might usually come on the quarter pounder WITH CHEESE...
yeah this. complicated, i know - i can understand how a mere Dairy Queener would get it wrong, but dammit, this was McDonalds for pete's sake. i expect more from them.
I love this, even though I hate the soup shows:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uUbsc_a-e3g
how can you not like The Soup? it's like this thread, but on tv.
You know what I am going to do right now? You don't care? Oh, then I won't post that I am about to make a facebook page for my cat.
catbook ftw.
I was never that big into facebook but this past weekend a very old friend found me and I am so happy she did. Trouble is she has been posting up some super embarrassing pics of me as a kid.Edit:lm1.jpglm2g.jpglm3.jpg
wow you look a lot different now
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imperial white? I've never heard of it. must not be distributed outside of boston-ish?
I actually hadn't heard of it either. There's a whole Imperial series, with a Pilsner (which I had at a beerfest, and was their initial imperial offering), the white ale, a stout, and some other beer thats listed on the website. They come in 4 packs for about $12, but the price is just about worth it. Tough to get that kind of buzz/drunk off of 4 beers, but it sure did the trick.
1. Have a 3 way with your chick and her twin already, will you?2. Yes, but just for a Hall & Oates show and some drunken slots...I'm not sure if that's helpful.
1. I'm working on it. The twin walked in on us having sex once a couple years ago, and didn't seem too appalled, but it would take a whole lot of substances to talk mine into it.2a. I have a couple friends who love Hall & Oates.2b. No, it doesn't help me much though. Hopefully my tax return will triple itself while I run good for the first time in a casino in 2 years.
Finally someone has thought of distilling beer.... Ill check my local supplier for some first thing tomorrow
Good luck sir, you would enjoy it, but you'll have to remember you'll get drunk twice as fast, so drinking the same amount could lead to death hilarity.
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Which leads me to Willis, the resident barn cat. She is a big fluffy cat that looks like she has a lion's mane. I think she looks very "regally", but I don't think that makes much sense at all. I'll be sure to snap some pics next time I'm there for LG. She is really friendly and likes hanging out in the pasture with the horses; cool cat imo.
I want a barn, only so I can have some barn cats hanging out in it.
I think Steve just convinced me to buy a bengal cat when I get mine.
Bengal cats are awesome, but get one at the same time as a kitten from a shelter. Most cats do better in pairs, plus it'll make you feel better about getting a bengal when there are so many homeless ones out there.
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