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I Called In Sick Today


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Life for Dawson has been pretty much the same as always, except less fruitful in the stuffing department than it was in college. Apparently girls in the real world want "mature" guys who "don't black out 3 nights a week" and want to "hang out sober" and "know their names" and haven't "hooked up with their friends"...it sucks.
I remember the good ole days back before I had to start paying for it.... my condolences, sir...and whoever says "Ill never pay for a piece of ass!" has never turned violently ill upon opening a wifes MasterCard statement
I just caught the end of RuPaul's "Drag Race" on vh1 by accident.
Ill check it out, but I hope its better than Pinks and My Classic Car...In other news, just moments ago I avoided certain disaster. Remember that giant pile of ashes and red hot coals from my brush fire that resembled a meteor?I didnt...(phone rings)"Yeah"(mom)"Beans.... uh..... I hate to bother you and all......uh.....I think you might otta check your fire outside""I didnt burn anything today mom....its fine""Well..... Im lookin at it right now and.....the....uh.....winds a throwin sparks pretty bad""Ok.....Ill have a peek""You in the shop or the house?""Shop""Hurry"I waltzed outside and was greeted by hurricane force winds gusting from every direction. Moms sense of urgency didnt prepare me for the display coming from the meteor bed that resembled one of those videos you see every year or so of a Chinese fireworks factory on fire. Its a miracle this corner of the state is still standing since the dry honeysuckle thicket took most of the sparksMy first instinct was to piss on it....carry on
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and after 3 days, he is risen!

If you are paying $20 for a haircut, I imagine people assume you did it yourself anyway.

Pocket change cost me my first and only black girlfriend.   It was in the middle of a roaring poker boom and I was flush in ways most men don't even bother dreaming of. Money, it was like dirt to me

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Very enjoyable catchup. Wanted to quote lots but didn't

OH LOOK AT YOU MR. I HAVE $3100I LEFT OFF THAT I WAS TRYING TO GET IT ON STARS
I knew what you meant. I'm more smarter than those other chumps.
never liked him anywaysi snortedi love wang(nononono, i mean)i love Wang(hmmm, still pretty gay)you write funny stories, bear(goddamit, still gay)HAHAHAHA, TACTICAL
I agree 125% with this quote. It's like an outlier, a multi-billionaire.
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What's better than breaking records. And it should only take 30 mins tops.
That's what I'm saying. You said if you tried.You're totally not full of shit, either. 30 minutes. Go.
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That's what I'm saying. You said if you tried.You're totally not full of shit, either. 30 minutes. Go.
Poppy has long been pimpin' his FT skills. I believe he said he would bet a large sum that he could make 97 out of 100. I could be wrong though.
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Poppy has long been pimpin' his FT skills. I believe he said he would bet a large sum that he could make 97 out of 100. I could be wrong though.
Ya me and Guap have a bet that will probably never happen logistically. Neither one of us remember what the number was, pretty sure it wasn't 97, I don't think I could make that bet, that's cutting it pretty slim.
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Ya me and Guap have a bet that will probably never happen logistically. Neither one of us remember what the number was, pretty sure it wasn't 97, I don't think I could make that bet, that's cutting it pretty slim.
i've offered to witness. and i thought it was 85 out of 100.
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Trying to get an early night but girls are chatting loudly and keeping me awake. I decided to go on a scouting mission to see who it was and then leave an anonymous note asking politely for them to be quieter after 11pm in the future (they are supposed to anyway but no one enforces it). My plan was foiled as I stepped out of room, was blinded by the light, turned around and saw 5 girls staring at me including the one who lives next to me. She asked if they had woken me up and I didn't know what to say so I said yes even though it wasn't really true. I said I hadn't wanted to complain, which was true, and retreated back to my room. This situation has ruined all my plans of anonymous notes because it will now be obvious who wrote them. My suspicions were correct anyway - the girls were hanging out around the door of the room where 2 new girls moved in last week, a few doors down from me. I am confident these are the same girls who kept me awake last night too, and I now expect it to become a regular thing. Sigh. I hate dorm life, I really do. There's just no such thing as peace and quiet.Sorry for grumbling, just needed to vent a little.

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Trying to get an early night but girls are chatting loudly and keeping me awake. I decided to go on a scouting mission to see who it was and then leave an anonymous note asking politely for them to be quieter after 11pm in the future (they are supposed to anyway but no one enforces it). My plan was foiled as I stepped out of room, was blinded by the light, turned around and saw 5 girls staring at me including the one who lives next to me. She asked if they had woken me up and I didn't know what to say so I said yes even though it wasn't really true. I said I hadn't wanted to complain, which was true, and retreated back to my room. This situation has ruined all my plans of anonymous notes because it will now be obvious who wrote them. My suspicions were correct anyway - the girls were hanging out around the door of the room where 2 new girls moved in last week, a few doors down from me. I am confident these are the same girls who kept me awake last night too, and I now expect it to become a regular thing. Sigh. I hate dorm life, I really do. There's just no such thing as peace and quiet.Sorry for grumbling, just needed to vent a little.
Were they in nightgowns by any chance? Was the pillowfighting keeping you up?
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me: earplugs?LG: well things took a strange turn in the twenty minutes since I posted. the girls had the nerve to knock on my door. But, they came bearing gifts. the two new girls were holding a box...speedz: go onLG: a box of tea. twinings afternoon tea.me: yumLG: ANYWAYchuck klosterman: are you trying to be like me?sduck: you do have a sexy hair colouradam: mmhmmm.george costanza: aren't you bald?elaine: YOU'RE BALDrobin williams: I get it nowEl G: I'll believe that when I read itme2: didnt you just..read...LG: I hate gingersme:ck:sduck:adam:ron mexico:me: ron mexico has red hair?me2: I think soooo. it kinda looks like it.LG: ANYWAY, they gave me gifts and we had great college lesbian sex for hours and hours which gave me great sleep and I woke up all restedJJJ: in twenty minutes?LG: it's really not fair that you've made me out to be a ginger haterme: well you sure hate a lot of other stuffspeedz: like the wrong scissorsouch: and males with an asian fetishstrat: and cottage cheese

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i've offered to witness. and i thought it was 85 out of 100.
The jumping off point was 95. It was between 92 and 97.Hell if I still played regularly I would probably take the 85/100 bet.
me: earplugs?LG: well things took a strange turn in the twenty minutes since I posted. the girls had the nerve to knock on my door. But, they came bearing gifts. the two new girls were holding a box...speedz: go onLG: a box of tea. twinings afternoon tea.me: yumLG: ANYWAYchuck klosterman: are you trying to be like me?sduck: you do have a sexy hair colouradam: mmhmmm.george costanza: aren't you bald?elaine: YOU'RE BALDrobin williams: I get it nowEl G: I'll believe that when I read itme2: didnt you just..read...LG: I hate gingersme:ck:sduck:adam:ron mexico:me: ron mexico has red hair?me2: I think soooo. it kinda looks like it.LG: ANYWAY, they gave me gifts and we had great college lesbian sex for hours and hours which gave me great sleep and I woke up all restedJJJ: in twenty minutes?LG: it's really not fair that you've made me out to be a ginger haterme: well you sure hate a lot of other stuffspeedz: like the wrong scissorsouch: and males with an asian fetishstrat: and cottage cheese
I don't believe it.
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I hate dorm life, I really do. There's just no such thing as peace and quiet.
You and I? Exact opposites. No peace and quiet is WHY dorm life is so great. Of course, I'm not a light sleeper and have no problem falling asleep with people in my room talking and the lights on.
me: well you sure hate a lot of other stuff
Crazy run's at it again. (this was my favorite part)
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i missed a beans pic with sal that was posted just for me? pooo.

Im guessing the nuts holding the tank to the bowl were wing nuts?
you betcha.i was mighty perplexed at the instructions as a result, but i tested the tank as per, ummm, the instructions, and its not leaking. should i pull it and take those washers/nuts out? is the gasket going to dry out and leak prematurely or something?
Trying to get an early night but girls are chatting loudly and keeping me awake. I decided to go on a scouting mission to see who it was and then leave an anonymous note asking politely for them to be quieter after 11pm in the future (they are supposed to anyway but no one enforces it). My plan was foiled as I stepped out of room, was blinded by the light, turned around and saw 5 girls revved up like the deuce, five runners in the night. She asked if I needed a ride and I didn't know what to say so I said yes even though it wasn't really true. I said I hadn't wanted to complain, which was true, and retreated back to my room. This situation has ruined all my plans of anonymous notes because it will now be obvious who wrote them. My suspicions were correct anyway - the girls were playing the funky break around the door of the room where 2 new girls moved in last week, a few doors down from me. I am confident these are the same girls who kept me awake last night by crashing the calliope to the ground, and I now expect it to become a regular thing. Sigh. I hate dorm life, I really do. But mama, that's where the fun is.Sorry for grumbling, just needed to vent a little.
well aren't you quite the little teenage diplomat?
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You and I? Exact opposites. No peace and quiet is WHY dorm life is so great. Of course, I'm not a light sleeper and have no problem falling asleep with people in my room talking and the lights on.
I used to be a very heavy sleeper, but of late I'm getting much easier to wake up, and it's harder to get to sleep. It's kind of annoying. The exception being if I have just woken up by an alarm clock, then I can get right back to sleep, despite wishes otherwise.
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MBA to become CPA eligible, then you have the option of both. I don't really know what you would do with a CPA after getting an MBA with work experience though, I guess go into corporate accounting/controller position. If you did pretty well at a college that you say is pretty good (other colleges should know this even though NO GIRLS ever will) and score well on the GMATs you should be fine.Here's another article about old people getting MBAs:http://www.businessweek.com/bschools/conte...ge_the+mba+life
well I was just looking at the programs and it looked like in order to go back for a bachelors in accounting or to even get just the credits I'd need to take the CPA exam, it would take just as long to do so why not go for the MBA. then, if I'm doing that, why not just take a concentration in accounting and get the CPA while I'm at it. my main constraint is time since I can't really be out of the workforce for that long living off my parent's dime and racking up ridiculous debt. I'd probably still have to work some shitty job at the same time to eat (my parents are quite poor) so it'd be exceedingly stressful. my main concern right now is that "within 5 years" clause which really makes zero sense to me since they say MOST people pursuing MBA's do it after 5 years, and I doubt they all go back to redo their freaking bachelors. I'm requesting my transcripts today and calling the admissions office there to ask a few questions. we'll see.
Ill check it out, but I hope its better than Pinks and My Classic Car...
the imagery of this situation is fantastic.
JJJ: in twenty minutes?
man, joeyjojo wins even when he doesn't post anymore. that guy is good!
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This situation has ruined all my plans of anonymous notes because it will now be obvious who wrote them.
You're right, they never would have guessed the cute little British girl was the one employing the classic American tactic of anonymous note complaints.
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my main concern right now is that "within 5 years" clause which really makes zero sense to me since they say MOST people pursuing MBA's do it after 5 years, and I doubt they all go back to redo their freaking bachelors.
pretty sure chrinestone and mk both graduated with engineering-related degrees and went on to get MBAs. kill the gmat imo.I had two other posts lined up for responses and decided I just didn't want to talk to those people.WHY DID YOU LEAVE THESE GODDAMN PLATES UNDER MY DESK MOJO
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I really shouldn't read this thread when I have just woken up... I'm so confused.

WHY DID YOU LEAVE THESE GODDAMN PLATES UNDER MY DESK MOJO
They are bowls, and I left them there because I was too lazy to move them when I was sat down and forgot to when I was stood up.
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