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I Called In Sick Today


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If you are paying $20 for a haircut, I imagine people assume you did it yourself anyway.

and after 3 days, he is risen!

Pocket change cost me my first and only black girlfriend.   It was in the middle of a roaring poker boom and I was flush in ways most men don't even bother dreaming of. Money, it was like dirt to me

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I wanted to respond but I held back and Mex did a better job than i would have.Okay, I got alot of good stuff but i'm drunk and Deb will be off the phone in a minute. Cool, I think I typed that correctly.Pain pills and beer don't mix!

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I are sad Hank. Saw a cat that had apparently been hit by a car tonight. It was a beautifully colored siamese with big blue eyes. Was kinda coughing up blood, don't think it was gonna make it and neither did the feline rescue guy.Just really bummed me out for some reason.Sorry to be debby downer.BOOBS!There.

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I are sad Hank. Saw a cat that had apparently been hit by a car tonight. It was a beautifully colored siamese with big blue eyes. Was kinda coughing up blood, don't think it was gonna make it and neither did the feline rescue guy.Just really bummed me out for some reason.Sorry to be debby downer.BOOBS!There.
by 'feline rescue guy' you mean garbageman, right?
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Mex here. Ok, I've had an ACL reconstruction on my right knee, and I used a piece from my patella tendon (kneecap ligament) instead of a dead guys ligament because if I'm getting aids, I'm getting it the fun way. Anyway, I had 4 other surgeries on my right knee, but two were just clean ups and one was major, but it was basically the old way to do microfracture surgery. I just had microfracture surgery on my left knee. Microfracture is on Wiki, but basically, cartilidge is missing from a weight bearing area, they clean it, drill a bunch of minute holes, let the bone marrow bleed out, form a faux cartilidge and voila, knee is as good as new.First off, if your knee swells when you run, DON'T RUN.Second, the MRI is a piece of cake. You lay down, don't move for 30 minutes and you're done. All good, no injections. a meniscus tear is painful and can cause swelling, but it's not even in the top 5 of bad knee injuries. I'm sure they'd scope it, (arthroscopy) fix the tear and depending where it is, you crutch out of the hospital and would be off crutches in a week. If you can, start strengthening the quad and hammy now, if it is painless to do so. This will help speed up your recovery.
Yea I'm kind of dumb when it comes to going to the doctor. It's been like this for a few years. I finally decided to ask about it because I went in for a sinus infection and a cough that I've had for two months. The MRI was much better than the one I had on my shoulder. It was so relaxing that I fell asleep. Thanks for the info. It's good to know that it will be a minor surgery if I have to have it. I kept thinking that it might be like yours and that I'd be stuck in my house on crutches for six weeks.
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It's good to know that it will be a minor surgery if I have to have it. I kept thinking that it might be like yours and that I'd be stuck in my house on crutches for six weeks.
yeah, I know how you feel. I often wake up in a cold sweat, worrying that my life might someday be like ron mexico's.
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Pain pills and beer don't mix!
randy, randy, randy. this is the worst thing you have ever posted. egg, face, shame, etc.
yeah, I know how you feel. I often wake up in a cold sweat, worrying that my life might someday be like ron mexico's.
oh wow. man, thats pretty much the sickest burn in quite some time. quite some time indeed.there's a friday cheers in my town this afternoon and it will probably be the biggest one of the summer (for the uneducated, friday cheers is like a minifestival type thing where there's a band, beer, and a bunch of people just hanging around, sponsored by the town), and I think I probably won't go so I can work out and go to sleep. if I end up doing that, then BOY, that is some dedication. plus, I don't have anybody to go with because I don't have any friends and no girls would talk to me anyways. so I might as well run instead.I'm starting to think I may have slightly low self esteem. hmm. naaaaah.
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I say go to the festival... meet girls there... get nice with them...build selfesteem... atleast thats what i would do haha

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I say go to the festival... meet girls there... get nice with them...build selfesteem... atleast thats what i would do haha
I'm going to go with c0inn on this one Sal. This guy never fails to disappoint with the good advice.
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I don't have anybody to go with because I don't have any friends and no girls would talk to me anyways. so I might as well run instead.
really, there's NO ONE? gay cousin or something? NOBODY?
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really, there's NO ONE? gay cousin or something? NOBODY?
not that I can think of. cousin still upset and reclusive from the breakup, few other friends working second shift, other friend never goes out, rest are married. I am in no way cool or popular.just gonna be a bunch of stupid people there anyways. I don't like them, they don't like me. and I LIKE IT LIKE THAT. (I feel as though there should be some sort of chorus to follow this.)and beans, your cartoons are increasingly hilarious/disgusting.
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beansie keeps the hits cominggod that orgy one with dna peeking out through a bunch of random limbs was golllllllld. sorry i never e-val'd.

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really, there's NO ONE? gay cousin or something? NOBODY?
This topic came up with my family recently, everyone has a gay cousin, the two I know of on my side of the family happen to be my Mom's first cousins, so my second cousins, there are still some candidates for my first cousins. When this conversation happened my wife's side of the family did not know of one, within a week her cousin came out of the closet, which really wasn't a surprise to any of us who are not over the age of 50. She is trying to get a doctorate in the history of black women's African liberal studies or something like that, and she drinks straight scotch.Beans cartoon took me a second, first I thought that he was saying Binion's was disgusting, but then I realized that was the turn down service. Good times, good times.
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So my gf and I are moving out of our apartment and into an apartment my parents own for a month or so before moving out to California and my gf is selling a ton of her stuff on kijiji which is like a local craigslist. So some girl offered her 10$ on an item she was asking 20$ and my gf emailed her discussing terms, then received another bid for 15$ dollars so she emailed the original girl telling her someone offered her 15$ and she was going to take it. So since I'm on the computer I told my gf I would keep track of the emails she was receiving for her stuff. This was the email I received:really, is this how things work? I always assumed first come first serve, but i guess the 5 dollars is that importantxxxxxxxGenerally my gf is way too nice so I typed up the response:I'm selling my house too should that be first come first serve? If the 5 dollars does'nt mean anything to you then why did you offer 10 dollars below my asking price??Meh I wanted to make the reply a little more harsh but my gf asked me not to, but the reply that girl sent is the highlight of my day I really hope she sends another one so I can tear into her.*edit she replied:Because the condition of it. But Im not gonna sit here and argue over 5 ****en dollars, honestly, but obviously its a big deal to you. GOOOD LUCKKKKKAnd I fired back:Not a big deal to me, but I would rather throw it in the garbage than give it to someone who is low balling me when I have another offer. I don't know you why would I give it to you for less?? You had an opportunity to offer another bid if you choose not to than thats fine, but please don't insult me with your lame ass reply.Really trying to hold back because my GF left and its under her name in a small city so I don't want to get to harsh on this **** when its not through my emial.

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Uggh, frustrating story with cops/highway patrolmen from the past month.So, like two weeks ago, I drive down from Orlando to West Palm to hang out at a friends house for about a week, hit the beach, play some golf, things like that. The road to get there is I-95, and from I-95 on, it's basically empty for the most part, generally low traffic, so people tend to drive really fast when there's nobody around. The speed limit is 70, but whenever there was nobody around, or it was safe to, I was driving about 85 or so. I know it's really fast, but I was driving safely, so I didn't think much of it. On my way back from my friends house, I was going about 87 in a super empty part of the coast, nobody really around, just cruising. Anyways, a cop is hiding behind a curve, radars me speeding and pulls me over. I don't really mind as I'm waiting because I broke the rules, he caught me, it's obviously my fault. Luckily for me, instead of giving me a speeding ticket, he says he's going to give me a missing registration ticket, which is significantly cheaper, and adds no points to my license. This is really cool, I thank him and drive home pretty slow (by the way, I actually had my registration). So, a few days ago I decide to drive back to my friends house, as there are some live poker tournaments coming up around south Florida and I wouldn't be able to play them from home since it would be a 3-4 hour drive, but significantly shorter from my friends place. Yesterday there was a $500 tournament in Pompano beach that we wanted to play so we drove down. The road to get there is again I-95, just a straight shot down about 40 miles. I drive down there with no problems, for the most part I just kind of zone out and follow the pace of traffic without trying to get there quickly or anything.We all bust by 7 pm and drive back. Here's why I'm so mad. When we get on I-95 we notice immediately that cops are EVERYWHERE. In the first 5 miles we probably see 5-6 cop cars. Since I just got a ticket, I basically decide that I'm just gonna drive the speed limit, I don't want another ticket. Cars are being pulled over all over the place, honestly it's the most police activity I've ever seen on an interstate. Anyways after about 30 miles, we're pretty near home, I'm still just driving 63 in a 65. In the left median or whatever it's called, there's two cops pulled over with their windows down just talking to each other, or possibly radaring people. Either way, there's nobody being pulled over, and nobody is out of their car. I'm in the left most lane (H.O.V/carpool) and I slow down to about 60 when I pass them, but don't change lanes. I didn't change lanes because it was raining pretty badly, and it was difficult to change lanes as there was a guy coming up fast behind me in the next lane.So like two minutes later, there's a cop behind me, flashing his lights, sounding the horn, and I pull over having no idea what I possibly could have done wrong. He then tells me that I violated the move over law, which states that if a policeman is pulling somebody over on the side of the road, you either have to slow down 20 miles below the speed limit, or move over to the next lane. Not only did I not know this law existed, but nobody was even being pulled over. The even better part is, to pay for my last registration ticket, I had to fax in my registration card, which I had left in my dad's office the day before, so I didn't have it in my car. So I get two tickets, one for missing registration, one for violating that law, and for a total of 3 tickets in the past month.What pisses me off the most is that these cops were obviously pulling people to clear some sort of quota of tickets. I'm not even exaggerating when I say in a 40 mile stretch of highway there was 50-60 cops setting up speed traps, radaring people, and pulling over people for not getting out of the way of cops while they pull over other people. I get points on my license, probably a higher insurance rate, and have to pay for a fine for literally no reason. I was not breaking the speed limit, I was driving in a 100% safe manner, and I didn't put any cops life in danger at ANY time. I still get a ticket anyways, because they obviously have to issue x tickets a month, and hadn't been keeping up with it. The most amusing part to me? As I sat there laughing at how ridiculous it was that I actually got a ticket, cars were flying past us at like 80-85 miles an hour in the closest lane just getting away with it. Sigh cops.

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Cop Story
The registration tickets aren't moving violations - they shouldn't affect your insurance right?You could always try fighting the ticket in court as you have a pretty good case. I've only done it once when I was ticketed for making an unsafe left turn (all the lights were blinking red at a four way stop, I stopped and proceeded, cop said that I didn't stop) and I didn't have my drivers license with me so two tickets.I went to court, cop didn't show up so I won. The judge seemed to be in a good mood as while I was waiting, he seemed to be letting anyone off who had a decent story or decent driving record. Only guy who didn't get off was some guy with a bunch of tickets on his record and a crummy story.
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Orlando to West Palm As I sat there laughing at how ridiculous it was that I actually got a ticket, cars were flying past us at like 80-85 miles an hour in the closest lane just getting away with it. Sigh cops.
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beansy...you mind if i drop you a pm about my car? i'm an idiot about that stuff and would appreciate your feedback.No need to respond via cartoon or break your silence, just shoot me a quick pm.thank

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