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I Called In Sick Today


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Let's be realistic here. You were extremely mean to the women (it's not for me to say if it was warranted) and she eventually was forced to leave FCP forever, using Caleb as an excuse even though we all knew that it had little to do with the real reasons for her departure. You're a cruel, cruel something.
And fat.Don't forget fat.
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and after 3 days, he is risen!

If you are paying $20 for a haircut, I imagine people assume you did it yourself anyway.

Pocket change cost me my first and only black girlfriend.   It was in the middle of a roaring poker boom and I was flush in ways most men don't even bother dreaming of. Money, it was like dirt to me

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I just got back from the grocery store. when I sat down, a little gust from the window blew one of the plastic bags along the floor and into my view. scared me shitless... I was thinking the kittens were back!
I had an American Beauty flashback...
Will this never die? Really?
I agree... I just wish that the whole damn thing had never happened!GOSH!This next toon is gonna be outrageous!
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I was also going to mention that your SamBig8 joke is growing on me. I'm not sure why I care either except that if the story is gonna get rehashed again I'd prefer it gets rehashed truthfully. If you only present Cindy's side, I look pretty bad and I'm relatively certain her side is not anywhere near the whole story.*Edit - also because I had a doctor's appointment today and I did not like the number on the scale so that fat crack kinda bugged me. Some other day, I'd have probably not cared. Eh, whatcha gonna do?
if it makes you feel any better, I never even read what'sherface's side of it because she's a crazy, retarded waste of semen. and thank you, I like the sam big8 joke and intend to use it at least a few more times before I'm done here. In the past, I've actually quoted him and edited his name to reflect it. I'm not sure if anyone noticed.
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is this your way of coming out?
Wait for it...
I just got back from the grocery store. when I sat down, a little gust from the window blew one of the plastic bags along the floor and into my view. scared me shitless... I was thinking the kittens were back!
I'm counting down the days until I get my litter of kittens. I was recently told that since I'm a vet tech they'll probably give me a litter that needs to be bottle fed for the first few weeks....and that's my coming out statement.
And fat.Don't forget fat.
Well, she certainly didn't have that toned of a stomach, but she wasn't that fat.
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You guys really were too cool for her anyway. You know that, right? There was no way she was gonna last in here. You punched holes in her distortion of reality field way too often. So, therefore, I did not run her off. :i'mactuallykindagladicaughtuptodayafterallface:

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so where are all the bruins fans tonight? HUH?that's right. hope you didn't get hurt falling off the bandwagon.
La la la.It's easier to root for them when they're an 8 seed trying to upset the 1, instead of the other way around. They've played pretty well tonight, but their power play is atrocious and they still can't seem to finish good opportunities. Plus, they would have gotten smoked in the next round anyway.
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so where are all the bruins fans tonight? HUH?that's right. hope you didn't get hurt falling off the bandwagon.
For the record, I never pretended to be a Bruins fan. I'd rather them win than lose, but really all I cared about was watching fun games and throwing the needle in Canadian fans. Notice the lack of "s".
You guys really were too cool for her anyway. You know that, right?
You really need to ask that question? Fuck, we're too cool for ourselves half the time.
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La la la.It's easier to root for them when they're an 8 seed trying to upset the 1, instead of the other way around. They've played pretty well tonight, but their power play is atrocious and they still can't seem to finish good opportunities. Plus, they would have gotten smoked in the next round anyway.
don't be so hard on them. they're a great club.
For the record, I never pretended to be a Bruins fan. I'd rather them win than lose, but really all I cared about was watching fun games and throwing the needle in Canadian fans. Notice the lack of "s".
yeah, habsfan is missed. even though I didn't know him and don't care to ever know him, the son of a bitch.
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Guess who got his first tooth today?Guess who also got the SPAM PM? Is online poker legal for 7 month olds?Guess whose dad is locked out of his account and can't celebrate this thrashing properly?Guess who LOVES to watch hockey?

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Guess who got his first tooth today?Guess who also got the SPAM PM? Is online poker legal for 7 month olds?Guess whose dad is locked out of his account and can't celebrate this thrashing properly?Guess who LOVES to watch hockey?
awwwww he's learning to type
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Lately I don't really have the motivation to type out full stories. I'll just say that I recently was around a small child...I think he's a good deal older than booboo, about 22 months. Anyways, we were at a big family dinner and he was making faces, screaming, etc., and everyone though it was hilarious. Whenever he looked at someone they would make faces at him and have a grand old time playing along with him. When he looked at me I gave him the finger. I didn't plan it, and really have no idea where that reaction came from (I hate kids, but I'm typically not that ridiculous). Needless to say, my family was slightly more mortified than amused.

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dude....I am now pining for a picture of that majestic gull
Ok fuckers. Here are some pictures of me that I found on the computer. There aren't any funny ones because I'm only in pictures when I'm forced at gun point. Have your fun. God damnit.This is Turd's Gurl a.k.a. Jennifer and me at a New Years Eve party.newyears106.jpgThis is a picture that I took of a bird at the beach. I thought it looked pretty good. Thinking about maybe sending it in to National Geographic or something.jenniferspictures027.jpgThis one ought to give you an idea of how monstrously tall I am. See how my head almost hits that ceiling? I'll clue you in a little something. That ceiling is eleven feet tall. Swear to dog. 330882-R1-15-10A.jpg
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Guess who got his first tooth today?Guess who also got the SPAM PM? Is online poker legal for 7 month olds?Guess whose dad is locked out of his account and can't celebrate this thrashing properly?Guess who LOVES to watch hockey?
I am your father. I think. I get confused.
I was also going to mention that your SamBig8 joke is growing on me. I'm not sure why I care either except that if the story is gonna get rehashed again I'd prefer it gets rehashed truthfully. If you only present Cindy's side, I look pretty bad and I'm relatively certain her side is not anywhere near the whole story.*Edit - also because I had a doctor's appointment today and I did not like the number on the scale so that fat crack kinda bugged me. Some other day, I'd have probably not cared. Eh, whatcha gonna do?
You do realize everyone is totally apathetic about her existence, right? It's tough for you to come out as "the bad guy" or "look pretty bad," because nobody ever gave even half a crap about her. I didn't even remember she existed. For a while, I thought she was the same person as Lolli, and I didn't even notice she left because Lolli was still around (unless that's when Lolli left, too, and all traces of her existence were eliminated). You are still here, and relevant. Idaho is not, and never was.Story:There's a girl in one of my classes, and everyone from said class was up on campus today doing last minute prep for a group project. During this class, I am loud and obnoxious, and generally combative towards the teacher and women who babble too much. Anyway, I was in a good mood, so I saw this reasonably attractive girl in the computer lab. We chatted, she laughed in the right spots, and I thought nothing of it.During class, she sat next to me, instead of 8 seats down like usual. She passed me 3 notes, asked me for one of my mints, and engaged me most of the time. After class, as I was walking out, she caught up to me, and we walked out together. We engaged in conversation about where I work, and she mentioned that she might stop by sometime, until our paths were to part. Wang: "Okay, then, doll. I'll see you next week?"Girl: "Oh. Hmm. Next week?"Wang: "We have an exam next week, right?"Girl: (frowning) "Well... yeah. We have that final next Monday, sure."Wang: "So I'll see you next week?"Girl: (shrugs) "Oh, I was just... (looks put off and confused) I guess so."Wang: "What's wrong?"Girl: "Nothing. Goodbye, then."Will you believe it took me until at least an hour later to figure out that I was supposed to ask her out? I'm attracted to her, too. While we were having that conversation, I was actively thinking to myself, "I wonder when a good time to ask this girl out would be?" My conclusion, obviously reached far too quickly and cemented too firmly, was: "Next week would be a good time to ask this girl out." If the future of the human race depended upon my attempts to procreate... well, then women would probably just jump me because, holy crap the human race! But it'd be rough otherwise.Wang
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Will you believe it took me until at least an hour later to figure out that I was supposed to ask her out? I'm attracted to her, too. While we were having that conversation, I was actively thinking to myself, "I wonder when a good time to ask this girl out would be?" My conclusion, obviously reached far too quickly and cemented too firmly, was: "Next week would be a good time to ask this girl out."
Another computer lab girl? Can I get a google map of that magical group of machines where attractive women enjoy talking to guys like us?
If the future of the human race depended upon my attempts to procreate... well, then women would probably just jump me because, holy crap the human race! But it'd be rough otherwise.Wang
As always, I feel you. I typically wait until the last possible moment to ask a girl out...right before she's completely written me off as either gay or close enough to it not to be worth spending any more time with. The scary thing is that I feel like some girls would say no if I got aggressive too early, but after realizing that I may not be interested all of a sudden can't wait for me to make a move.Whatever. I just end up getting sick of them after a few hours of alone-time anyways.
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You do realize everyone is totally apathetic about her existence, right? It's tough for you to come out as "the bad guy" or "look pretty bad," because nobody ever gave even half a crap about her. I didn't even remember she existed. For a while, I thought she was the same person as Lolli, and I didn't even notice she left because Lolli was still around (unless that's when Lolli left, too, and all traces of her existence were eliminated). You are still here, and relevant. Idaho is not, and never was.
I less than three you too, Derek.
Story:There's a girl in one of my classes, and everyone from said class was up on campus today doing last minute prep for a group project. During this class, I am loud and obnoxious, and generally combative towards the teacher and women who babble too much. Anyway, I was in a good mood, so I saw this reasonably attractive girl in the computer lab. We chatted, she laughed in the right spots, and I thought nothing of it.During class, she sat next to me, instead of 8 seats down like usual. She passed me 3 notes, asked me for one of my mints, and engaged me most of the time. After class, as I was walking out, she caught up to me, and we walked out together. We engaged in conversation about where I work, and she mentioned that she might stop by sometime, until our paths were to part. Wang: "Okay, then, doll. I'll see you next week?"Girl: "Oh. Hmm. Next week?"Wang: "We have an exam next week, right?"Girl: (frowning) "Well... yeah. We have that final next Monday, sure."Wang: "So I'll see you next week?"Girl: (shrugs) "Oh, I was just... (looks put off and confused) I guess so."Wang: "What's wrong?"Girl: "Nothing. Goodbye, then."Will you believe it took me until at least an hour later to figure out that I was supposed to ask her out? I'm attracted to her, too. While we were having that conversation, I was actively thinking to myself, "I wonder when a good time to ask this girl out would be?" My conclusion, obviously reached far too quickly and cemented too firmly, was: "Next week would be a good time to ask this girl out." If the future of the human race depended upon my attempts to procreate... well, then women would probably just jump me because, holy crap the human race! But it'd be rough otherwise.Wang
However, for this, I less than six you, Derek.Yeah, yeah, fix my punctuation.
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