I Called In Sick Today

[Ouch-8s 4]

well I'll be damned. that is quite similar.

oh.turns out you were right and renae was wrong, then.

[ShakeZuma 585]

oh.turns out every other woman on the face of the earth was right and renae was wrong, then.

double oh

[KDawgCometh 2]

Loogie Casting is currently on hold. That's fine. I didn't feel like working anyway.Via the Brandi thread, I learned that Miss Idaho posts on NWP and has the title of NWP Hottie. This interests me.

well, jennicide and druff's wife post there, so compared to those two, cindy is a hottie

I have to work at 7:30...and yet I can't stop watching Dances With Wolves...again...

you know how I know you're gay...

Shouldnt you be mowing?

this had me in hysterics

Along the lines of www.wingstop.com?:yesIknowhwatyoureallymeantface:

nice shill

I just went to a bar that rips off the Hooters idea of skimpy outfits on hot chicks. The only problem was that 3 of them were fat, one was pregnant, and the one with the hottest body was crosseyed. I'm no looker, but when you base your business on sexyness, I think the hiring needs to be re-evaluated.

I'm pretty sure that shake would be down for the pregger'd chick

I almost received a minor in possession on three different occasions tonight at the same party. Also, we were introduced to a new game this weekend called "Jager'ing" (Mick Jagger) where somebody yells out "JIMMY...I WANNA SEE YOUR BEST JAGER" and then the person called out has to do an impersonation of Mick Jagger. It's a pretty funny game when you're drunk. And when two people are challanged, it's called a "Jag Off". The more you know.Indubitably.

pffftyou want to know how I know that I'm gay(well, outside of the obvious joke)............I watched UFC last night while drinking white wine. But, like, if you take two negatives, they turn into a positive, so that would make me super hetero dude................. or not

[Ouch-8s 4]

well, jennicide and druff's wife post there, so compared to those two, cindy is a hottie

[ShakeZuma 585]

I'm pretty sure that shake would be down for the pregger'd chick

I'm pretty sure you'd be right

god damn it I was eating

[zimmer4141 0]

One of these things does not belong. I'll give you a hint, it's not the aluminum siding.

[LadyGrey 6]

So it turns out you can't iron fabric on the carpet instead of an ironing board, because the carpet will kinda melt and stick to the back of the material and turn it yellow. Shouldn't it say that on the side of the iron or something? How else is a girl supposed to know not to do that.

[Shimmering Wang 1]

So it turns out you can't iron fabric on the carpet instead of an ironing board, because the carpet will kinda melt and stick to the back of the material and turn it yellow. Shouldn't it say that on the side of the iron or something? How else is a girl supposed to know not to do that.

I deduced that the existence of something called "an ironing board" might have logical ramifications, and eventual came to the conclusion "I should probably only be doing my ironing on the board people have specifically for ironing; otherwise, why would it exist?" Also: I had prior experience with melting carpet.

[hank213 1,823]

So it turns out you can't iron fabric on the carpet instead of an ironing board, because the carpet will kinda melt and stick to the back of the material and turn it yellow. Shouldn't it say that on the side of the iron or something? How else is a girl supposed to know not to do that.

Just in case:Caution: Avoid dropping air conditioners out of windows.Unknown Blow Dryer Warning: Do not use while sleeping. Rowenta Iron Warning: Never iron clothes on the body. Unknown Vacuum Cleaner 1. Do not use to pick up gasoline or flammable liquids 2. Do not use to pick up anything that is currently burning.Child-Sized Superman Costume Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.Toilet brushDo not use for personal hygiene.

[Painter567 0]

Hi?

[strategy's_touch 0]

Hi?

this is not allowed here

[Painter567 0]

this is not allowed here

Sorry.....Bye

[RhinestoneCowboy 2]

That bar I was at last night was really high class. There was a guy there that had a mullet hairstyle in the back, but was bald like George Castanza on the top. I think I am going to call it a nullet.

[strategy's_touch 0]

Sorry.....Bye

apology accepted. I wonder what LG ruined with her iron.

[KDawgCometh 2]

nice

[beans-n-icewater 18]

I drove illegally today

Me too...I was pretty buzzed. Eye witnesses at the lake probably got a good show today watching me back the boat trailer down the rampDue to impaired vision I jack knifed the trailer six or seven times and once I made it to the water, Dale told me I backed so far into the lake the beer cooler launched from the back of the truckNo wonder I found flopping minnows in the floorboard....Pretty good day at the lake, though. Everyone made it back alive

Derek's Craps Education I occasionally experimented with placing bigger come bets, especially when I had a lot of money out there already, but I don't know if there's any merit to that. I have a feeling there's very little merit to doing much of anything, but I learned a lot regardless.Most importantly: I'd feel comfortable making bad jokes at a craps table now...Thanks BeansWang

Ive also thought about increasing the come bet to the total amount of pass/odds bets to "hedge" against a seven during a roll....Problem is that a three or twelve wipes it out and if a number is thrown, that sends it to the number box and requires another large odds bet and an even larger come bet next time for the hedge.Theres no way to get the house advantage less than the 1.5% with betting strategies. And if you really think about it, the odds bet is just a "vig-less" bet that shouldnt be thought of as an advantageous wager on our part at allI hate to make public so much about my thought processes, but Ill admit to something else I suppose....A few years ago I tried controlled dice shooting and built a replica of a craps table in the shop to practice with. I even purchased the rubber diamond patterned edging and padded the felt to replicate my favorite table at Main Street Station.Shane and I practiced for quite a while and came up with the following conclusions...Dice can be controlled to some pointThe "set" of the dice at the beginning of the roll must be consistent as well as the throw Just avoiding one combination of a seven out of the total of six can swing the odds greatly in the favor of the shooterStanding as close to the back wall as possible is necessaryHardways are the most profitable using a set that has the numbers 2, 3, 4, and five along the vertical axises The "mini craps" tables like the ones in Circus Circus and the Ellis Island casinos are the absolute best to play because of the short throws and just one bored dealer to observe what youre doingThe most important findings were:Its possible to gain a mathematical edge in the game. We documented this evidence with several (too ashamed to say how many) notebooks filled with the series of die combinations found with each set. But as most of the poker heads can attest to in here, even with a small percentage in your favor the variance monster can still eat you alive. I know for a fact that with determination and practice someone could grind out a living from throwing the bones, but between casino heat and the fact that it would be a shitty way to spend your life and not really feasible. I still practice the sets and throws right at the table and get "Sir, please hit the wall next throw" at least five times every session. Ill pm you our findings on the big6 wheel sometime this week. Out of all the gambling schemes it probably has the best possibilities....Not counting peeking inside David Benymines window while hes playing online poker, of course

well I'll be damned. that is quite similar.

Notice the left front wheel is missing....

[beans-n-icewater 18]

Ah, the hell with it....One more thingI also built a small robotic arm to prove the theory of identical throws producing the same number results on the dice. The machine was bolted to the table and could repeat numbers with amazing accuracy within a short time periodJust oiling one point or a slight amount of wear anywhere within the mechanism would sometimes result in a different number thrown, but with the proper bearings and close tolerance machinework a machine capable of repeating numbers indefinitely could be built....Shane and I almost pursued this venture at one point but worried that if it did work well that one of us would have to cut off an arm for it to be usableYeah, I scare myself too

[Painter567 0]

Ah, the hell with it....One more thingI also built a small robotic arm to prove the theory of identical throws producing the same number results on the dice. The machine was bolted to the table and could repeat numbers with amazing accuracy within a short time periodJust oiling one point or a slight amount of wear anywhere within the mechanism would sometimes result in a different number thrown, but with the proper bearings and close tolerance machinework a machine capable of repeating numbers indefinitely could be built....Shane and I almost pursued this venture at one point but worried that if it did work well that one of us would have to cut off an arm for it to be usableYeah, I scare myself too

LOL...awesome.

[Theraflu 1,035]

Sportscenter announcer: Darren McFadden has claimed responsibility to two children with different women over the past year. He has yet to take a paternity test.Michael Smith: Why haven't you take a paternity test to see if you're the father?McFadden: That's just the kind of guy I am.

[RhinestoneCowboy 2]

That bar I was at last night was really high class. There was a guy there that had a mullet hairstyle in the back, but was bald like George Castanza on the top. I think I am going to call it a nullet.

Just typed nullet in google and found the urban dictionary definition. Ooops.

[speedz99 145]

Who's the...other one?

So it turns out you can't iron fabric on the carpet instead of an ironing board, because the carpet will kinda melt and stick to the back of the material and turn it yellow. Shouldn't it say that on the side of the iron or something? How else is a girl supposed to know not to do that.

I learned this when I actually tried to directly iron a throw rug...it kept getting wrinkles and we couldn't figure out any other way to smooth it out. Or maybe we didn't try to figure out any other ways to do it.

Just in case:Caution: Avoid dropping air conditioners out of windows.

Meesta! Meesta!

I hate to make public so much about my thought processes

60 Minutes, the sick thread is not.

Just oiling one point or a slight amount of wear anywhere within the mechanism would sometimes result in a different number thrown, but with the proper bearings and close tolerance machinework a machine capable of repeating numbers indefinitely could be built....

I can't help asking...why is this information useful?

[JoeyJoJo 18]

On Saturday I was pulling out of a shopping center turning left. I had a stop sign, but the traffic from my left and right did not (one lane only for each). This is never an issue because there is almost no traffic at this particular place. Anyway, I'm at the stop and there is an SUV coming from my left and a truck coming from my right, so I wait. Then the SUV and truck both stop up the road to my left and I can see they are talking. I wait....one, two, three, four, five, ok, I'm going...and start to make my turn. I get about halfway through my turn when the SUV is done talking and starts pulling forward. It isn't a near accident or anything remotely interesting, but as I pass her she rolls her window down and screams at me, "I don't have a stop sign!!!" Then as she takes off, she holds her arm out the window and flips me off.I just....I just hate people.Seriously? Is this really happening? You're screaming at me over this? How bad does your life have to be for you to scream at a complete stranger over such a complete non-incident? It's too bad life isn't like an internet forum where other people could make witty remarks about irony to her. I would get some pleasure out of that. But this.....god, I hate people.People suck and I hate them.

[ShakeZuma 585]

"I don't have a stop sign!!!" Then as she takes off, she holds her arm out the window and flips me off.

I would have turned around and killed her. thats how you solve problems.

[strategy 4]

Seriously? Is this really happening? You're screaming at me over this? How bad does your life have to be for you to scream at a complete stranger over such a complete non-incident?

I know. You didn't see Anton screaming over HIS car accident.

[SBriand 4]

Driving down a two lane road Friday. I see a guy coming out of a CVS lot. He stopped I thought because he saw me coming at 50 mph and then at the last moment he decides to pull out and get in my lane. I slam on the brakes as I am maybe 8 car lengths away and I have no idea how close I got but it was pretty damn close. So I notice that just as I get under control he looks at me in his rear view mirror and you can tell by his eyes that he is now pissed. I guess he thought I was tailgating him so he does a brake check on me and starts yelling and flipping me off. Normally I would have gone off the edge but all I could do was laugh.People do suck.