I Called In Sick Today

[jeff_536 3]

Get rid of the seaword....I'll leave when I'm good and ready...

[navybuttons 15]

[speedz99 145]

here's to 1 miserable month on the wagon.i'm drinking tonight!!! my friend is in a band and they are playing some thing tonight (he mumbled something about yahoo) and having an after party. plus the superbowl is this sunday. did i reach my goal? no. has it been a month? yes. is that enough? poncedadailyon.

Congrats. Have fun...but not so much that you have to jump back on the wagon.

law just don't go around here law dog.

Savvy?

[JBradburn6 0]

Testing the theory of economics/equilibrium point...I am one supplier of justin.tv, if I have one demander in the next 5 minutes I'll broadcast.

[zimmer4141 0]

Zimmer = Rod Flanders?

How the hell am I Rod Flanders? I'm at least somewhat funny and I get drunk 3 times a week. Rod Flanders just sucks at everything.I have no idea which Simpsons character I'd be, but Rod Flanders isn't it.

[JBradburn6 0]

How the hell am I Rod Flanders? I'm at least somewhat funny and I get drunk 3 times a week. Rod Flanders just sucks at everything.I have no idea which Simpsons character I'd be, but Rod Flanders isn't it.

Ok that one was just a joke...you would be Maggie, a virgin with a lot of potential (I have no idea who you would be...you need to think about it more if you're not happy with Maggie). I could also kind of see you potentially maybe being Barney, which is a big compliment.

[zimmer4141 0]

Says the guy who thought <= meant less than or equal to.

It does in C++ Programming.Bitch.

[zimmer4141 0]

Ok that one was just a joke...you would be Maggie, a virgin with a lot of potential (I have no idea who you would be...you need to think about it more if you're not happy with Maggie). I could also kind of see you potentially maybe being Barney, which is a big compliment.

I was thinking Bumblebee Man, a guy who wants everybody to laugh with him, but because he keeps getting crapped on by life everybody just laughs at him.I think I could be Bart. The young, pudgy, smartass who does anything for a laugh then just gets embarrased constantly.

[JBradburn6 0]

there's a good chance I'm going to throw up in the next 10 minutes

[hank213 1,823]

I call Krusty. I was funny in my youth but somewhere along the line I forgot how. Plus, I like booze, drugs, and selling low grade meat to unsuspecting consumers.

[strategy 4]

It does in C++ Programming.Bitch.

honestly, who here knows C++? grinder is gone now.

[zimmer4141 0]

I was debating this with a friend the other day.Two different questions:A. What will be considered the greatest song of this decade?B. What has been the biggest hit of this decade?The two may be the same, they may be different. Kinda like how Smells Like Teen Spirit is considered the best song of the 90s, but was probably far from the biggest commercial hit.My answers to come.

[JBradburn6 0]

I was debating this with a friend the other day.Two different questions:A. What will be considered the greatest song of this decade?B. What has been the biggest hit of this decade?The two may be the same, they may be different. Kinda like how Smells Like Teen Spirit is considered the best song of the 90s, but was probably far from the biggest commercial hit.My answers to come.

Biggest hit = 50 cent "in da club"Greatest song = Colbie Caillat "Bubbly"

[zimmer4141 0]

Biggest hit = 50 cent "in da club"Greatest song = Colbie Caillat "Bubbly"

1. Faggot.2. Even bigger faggot.3. I have made it my mission to not only puke in Fat Tuesday's, but puke on somebody in Fat Tuesday's this year.

[JBradburn6 0]

1. Faggot.2. Even bigger faggot.3. I have made it my mission to not only puke in Fat Tuesday's, but puke on somebody in Fat Tuesday's this year.

1. Eat my balls.2. You will puke somewhere. You'll take a lot of kamikaze shots at your hotel/bar, and depending on the bartender there will be a great range in strenght, so you won't know if 15 kamikazes or 45 kamikazes will get you fucked up. Worst part for me was these motherfuckers lied to me about the bus i needed to get on so i went an hour in the wrong direction. Worst night of my life by far

[strategy 4]

The two may be the same, they may be different. Kinda like how Smells Like Teen Spirit is considered the best song of the 90s, but was probably far from the biggest commercial hit.

I would have thought it made big bank.The answer to both is britney's slave 4 u.

[JBradburn6 0]

Yoyo I'm broadcastig on justintv...I think the link's justintv.com/dawsonleery

[JBradburn6 0]

I'm currently singing (all the words) and dancing to Enrique Iglesias's "Do you Know"... and these people have more viewers than me...http://www.justin.tv/epicbrittanyhttp://www.justin.tv/theblondonehttp://www.justin.tv/dealerFuck justintv I'm done with that shit

[navybuttons 15]

[LadyGhey 0]

LISTEN! IF IT WASN'T FOR ME YOU WOULDN'T HAVE EVEN GONE TO THE PARTY AT THE MARS VOLTA'S HOUSE. I DON'T KNOW WHAT SIMPSONS IT IS BUT IT'S THE ONE WHERE THEY'RE MONKEY FIGHTING ON THE BOAT AND THERE'S THAT HORN THAT GOES WAAAAAH WOOOOMP. BUT GUESS WHAT, YOU'RE THE THIRD GIRL TO DO THAT TO ME TONIGHT, SO IT'S NOT FUNNY ANYMORE. AND I'LL LAY DOWN IN THE BAKC SEAT IF I FEEL LIKE IT. AND YOU'RE PROBABLY A SLOOT. WHY DON'T YOU SMOKKE SOME MORE WEED AND THEN DRIVE 45 MILES AND THEN TELL ME I NEED TO PUT ON A SEATBELT! I'M LAYING IN THE BACK SEAT WITHOUT A SEATBELT!

I see the drinking has commenced.By coincidence I am listening to some songs from the Simpsons while I wait for my iPod to sync. iTunes helpfully decided that it needed to erase all 5000 or so songs from my iPod and slowly put them back on again for no real reason.

[ShakeZuma 585]

i propose a show called "lynched." it's a lot like punk'd. instead of ashton kutcher it's david lynch, and people have to go through really surreal experiences. pilot: chris katan is out with his friend (who's in on the joke, tee hee) and they go to david lynch's restaurant and there's snakes and cheeseburger wrappers all over the floor and on stage is a man in a wheelchair who is reciting the opera "carmen" except it's all in english and it's backwards. then after like 45 uneventful minutes, david lynch comes running in with a cigarette and a camera crew and starts yelling "you got lynched, you got lynched," except chris katan doesn't know it's david lynch and he's like, "okay, i'm leaving."

I really liked this. is been a while since I first read it, but rest assured, I was laughing during that first reading.

No, I don't. Tell me more.

NO.

RAGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hahahaha. you so predictable loogie. but I actually did download it and give it a listen and its pretty neat. not my favorite ever, but I like it.

I call Krusty. I was funny in my youth but somewhere along the line I forgot how. Plus, I like booze, drugs, and selling low grade meat to unsuspecting consumers.

you would make a fine krusty. I just want to know if I'm lenny or carl.

Biggest hit = 50 cent "in da club"Greatest song = Colbie Caillat "Bubbly"

you... complete me.

[RhinestoneCowboy 2]

I like the gays, but I got blindsided with one last night. I met a friend for a few beers and at one point she started yelling for some guy to come over and say hi. I turned around to watch the end of the Celtics game, and when I turned back she introduced me to the gayest man I've ever had the pleasure of speaking to. I was so shocked at his level of fruitivity I could barely speak and made a complete ass of myself.Friend: Matt, this is Chris. We work in the lab together.Me: Hey.At this point he gives me the limp-wristedest handshake ever. If he was an older woman (possibly a queen...no pun intended) it would have been the type of handshake that would have made it seem as if I should be kissing his/her hand. Just a bad angle and a complete dead fish shake. Anyways...Chris: Hiiiiiii. (now he's talking to both of us)Chris: So the guys TOTALLY got me sooooo drunk tonight. I can barely stand. They want me to get so drunk that I pass out in the bar!(awkward pause when they both inexplicable turn to me as if I have something to say about this revalation)Me: Uh. That's...a...uh......good thing...to...uh......want?Yup, that's a direct quote. It must have taken me fifteen seconds to spit out that gem of a comment. After another awkward pause during which we all tried to figure out what could possibly used as a follow-up to that mess, I hung my head and walked up to the bar to grab another drink. Don't feel too bad for me, it actually ended up being a good night. Plus now you can make jokes about the fact that I'm so gay I can't even talk to other gays because I'm so attracted to them.

I do NOT talk like that....

[RhinestoneCowboy 2]

I am watching Little Giants. Rick Moranis is one of the most underrated actors of our time...

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

any embarrassing sex story isn't really all that interesting. one time a girl queefed for the first time during doggy style and blamed it on me. one time in high school i was going down on a girl and her legs were so tight around my ears that i couldn't my dad coming home (but i heard him go back down the stairs, re-open and slam the front door and call to me).one time i got up right in the middle to change the song that was playing because it was a little too on-the-nose, one time i was trying to commence to the baby making with a girl and she asked if i respected her and i said "i don't even respect myself (the correct answer i realized the next day was "of course i respect you.") she put her shirt back on and left without saying a word. the boy stuff is not inherently more interesting than the girl stuff, except that when i got to his apartment (like a first date) he had my picture as his wallpaper. his roommate was a suicide girl and asked what she should do to separate herself, and i said "try tattoos and piercings." they thought i was the biggest idiot. months after the last time i'd seen him he saw my friends and was like "make SURE dustin calls me." he just wanted to tell me that he wasn't mad at me any more and that he was sorry for erasing my phone number from his cell phone. i didn't know he was mad at me.anyway... i haven't slept in a very long time.

great stuff, a few more good jokes and I'd probably throw you, or accept, a handy

I'll help you fund it when I get my sweet, sweet cash in June

very nice

It's becoming more and more clear to me that I'm not ready to hear things like "I can't wait to see you again". I honestly don't know if this is because I'm still happy being single or because it turns out that I'm ill equipped for adult relationships (keep in mind the fact that the 5-year started in college, where dating is a totally different world).

if you liked her more, you'd be happy to hear it Standard

Anyone just catch OTH? I know Mexy did...wtf was lucas thinkingg?

Which part? Tuesday's episode was mostly a flashback episode. He shoulda tried harder to bone Brooke, date rape style.

-Selling 1yr CD's to Jewish ladies for 2.9%-Jerking it in the bathroom at work-Eating Mickey D's #8 Super sized and a Diet Coke-Missing us

6 month cd's for 4.71% and droppingin front of the computer at homeno MickeyD'ssometimes

Matt Damon?http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wnVJZkDuVBM*Edit* Turn your volume down if you're at work.

goddamn I like that guy more and more every day. That was awesome

your avatar totally just gave me a boner

looks like the one girl is trying to give the other girl a rear naked choke. She's got the hooks in, but then they kiss. Oh well.

My cock really isn't that pointy, and is there a way you can get it to curve a lot little?

(=8

Savvy?

Listen now Mr Kansas law dog, law just don't go round here, savvy? I said...Heard you the first time, winner to the king.I'm retired.What about you, you retired too? Not me, I'm in my prime.Yeah, you look it.

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

anyway, you guys were funny last week. Does anyone know a link to get that UFC fight on the cheap tonight? Keith, Shake? I don't feel like shelling out the purchase price.Brad, I won't be able to make it to Tampa on the 22nd. I've got some life stuff going on right now. I'm a sad panda. Another time I hope.I have to poop. Check you all on the flip side.