I Called In Sick Today

[Lolli 0]

Having travelled across the country to visit the family for Christmas, I can now confirm - absence makes the heart grow fonder.

PM dna your mailing addy. I posted in the nego thread that the track mouse is going to you. You may want to quote it in your PM incase he doesnt see it in the thread.

[Ouch-8s 4]

PM dna your mailing addy. I posted in the nego thread that the track mouse is going to you. You may want to quote it in your PM incase he doesnt see it in the thread.

AweSome!Merry Christmas me!And to all of you folks too.

[strategy 4]

this holiday sucks. guess who I forgot to send a present to.

[Ouch-8s 4]

this holiday sucks. guess who I forgot to send a present to.

me?future you?

[strategy 4]

me?future you?

future ex-GFnot getting gifts on holidays, it's just part of the overall jeff package

[rocketpoker828 0]

GG rocket.

GG sir. Merry Christmas everyone.

[KDawgCometh 2]

this holiday sucks. guess who I forgot to send a present to.

what does an irate english girl sound like when she's teeing off on you? How many times do you think that she'll call you a twat or wanker. english swearing is sooo much cooler then american swearing, it just seems more funin other news, I won my fantasy league, christmas is already kicking ass for me

[SantaClaus 0]

HO HO HOMERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL THE SICKIESAND ESPECIALLY LOLLIYOU'RE A HOT MAMAI'D DIVORCE MRS. CLAUS FOR YOU!!!!!!!

[strategy 4]

what does an irate english girl sound like when she's teeing off on you? How many times do you think that she'll call you a twat or wanker. english swearing is sooo much cooler then american swearing, it just seems more funin other news, I won my fantasy league, christmas is already kicking ass for me

she isn't mad for some reason. I think it's mostly because she knew it was going to be lame and not well thought out anyway. see: far side calendar.and to answer ouch's question from IM, no. she has not posted on my account for months and months despite speculation to the contrary.

[strategy 4]

had some wine tonight. pinot noir la crema? it wasn't good, just like all the wine I've ever had. must be an acquired taste... one I'm not affluent enough to acquire.

[loogie 115]

had some wine tonight. pinot noir la crema? it wasn't good, just like all the wine I've ever had. must be an acquired taste... one I'm not affluent enough to acquire.

La Crema is a great wine normally.

[strategy 4]

La Crema is a great wine normally.

meh. It's definitely me, not the wine. I'm not trying to snub the people who enjoy the high-caliber shit... I'm the same way with beer, really.

[KDawgCometh 2]

she isn't mad for some reason. I think it's mostly because she knew it was going to be lame and not well thought out anyway. see: far side calendar.and to answer ouch's question from IM, no. she has not posted on my account for months and months despite speculation to the contrary.

damn, that's really awesome. basically you have tried to piss her off as much as a guy can, and it's not possible for you. my man, you are freerolling from here on out

La Crema is a great wine normally.

short answer, no. long answer, fuck no

[mclumpo 0]

Letter from my current self to my future self, to be read before every Christmas, until I am dead:Dear Future Self,Please try not to get fat. Our metabolism sucks, oatmeal is cheap, and we're bad enough with women as it is; it would be a disaster if we couldn't fit into our Juice Williams commemorative Rose Bowl jersey T-Shirt. I'm calling it right now: that thing is going to get us laid innumerable times in the coming years. I can already see a girl wearing it as a night-shirt, trying to steal it when the relationship ends, and an altogether too complicated "search and rescue" mission to retrieve it afterwards. This letter is only on its second paragraph, and already I am way off track. I am writing you in the hopes that you, my future self, unencumbered by the grim reality of Now (and, therefore, more likely forget the lessons learned from this and countless other moments), can avoid the pitfall in which I'm currently trapped. What is the date today? Is it mid-December? Are you seeing anybody? If you've answered yes to both of the previous questions, then, have you slept with her yet, or taken any other significant step forward in your burgeoning relationship? If not, then, for the love of God, just wait a few days, because what the fuck are you supposed to get her for Christmas? Here's a little anecdote that should seem familiar, but that maybe you've conveniently forgotten:A few years ago, when we were in college, we were in the midst of a stupid and immature flirtatious relationship with a girl. We never really hung out or fooled around. We just made it obvious we liked her, and she made it obvious she liked us. Then, a few days before we went home for Christmas -- seriously, on the 21st of December -- we got drunk and woke up naked next to her in bed. Then, to make matters worse, we took her out for breakfast, promised to call her over break, and told her we'd take her out when she got back into town. We didn't realize what we'd done until hours later, on the drive home, when we thought to ourselves, "So, what do you give a girl that you're sleeping with, kinda, and that you'll probably end up dating, but you haven't really DISCUSSED the possibility of an exclusive relationship with, for Christmas? What is she going to get you? Is a book too pedestrian? Is it unromantic? Should it BE romantic? How about flowers? Do you want her to think you're a faggot? If so, then get her the fucking flowers and a mixtape. No books and no mixtapes and no flowers. Got it."By now you no doubt recall what this led to: the purchase of a Gary Larson "Far Side" calendar and a Chia Pet, and a crippling anxiety attack moments after mailing them.She got you a book.I know what you're thinking: "I don't need reminding. I won't make the same mistake twice!"How quickly we forget. Flash to the morning of Dec. 24th, 2007. Do you remember where you spent the night before, and where you awoke that morning? Hint: Your first stop after leaving was to refill your Xanax scrip, and your second was the mall. Your purchased her a copy of "Jeopardy! The DVD Game," and a pink case for her iPhone, even though, as far as you know, she has no particular affinity for pink. Don't say I didn't warn you.Sincerely,Me (You)

This is seriously awsome.I think I might just love you sir.Merry Christmas you farging faggots.Seriously........ I love Wan-um Bear?

[loogie 115]

short answer, no. long answer, fuck no

I've only had the Chardonnay, and I thought it was very good.

[strategy 4]

damn, that's really awesome. basically you have tried to piss her off as much as a guy can, and it's not possible for you. my man, you are freerolling from here on out

wasn't trying to piss her off at all. I do occasionally buy shit at random for friends/girlfriends/etc but it feels so forced for christmas. give me something this day or you are DEAD TO ME.may I interest you in a banana this day?

I've only had the Chardonnay, and I thought it was very good.

keith feels very strongly about his wines. let sneezing gophers lie.my posts are so ****ing dumb when I'm tired

[Randy Reed 0]

Which one's the greater than sign again?

+

Don't take this Randy!!

I'm not sure what to make of that, but then again, Rush fans vote for anything Rush with a fervor so yeah, guilty pleasure or whatnot, at least we won something. The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame won't give them a sniff.

Having travelled across the country to visit the family for Christmas, I can now confirm - absence makes the heart grow fonder.

Reality is a beotch much like math is hard.

PM dna your mailing addy. I posted in the nego thread that the track mouse is going to you. You may want to quote it in your PM incase he doesnt see it in the thread.

I AM BIG YANG! for those that don't know, this is exactly how that old line started. DNA actually asked in a Neg O thread who BIG YANG was so he could mail a chip set and 40 people replied I AM BIG YANG!

this holiday sucks. guess who I forgot to send a present to.

Wankeredit: Oh well, the Far Side gift calender will arrive sometime and I'm sure she'll love it!dude'snevergettinglaidbritishstyleagain

[ShakeZuma 585]

You don't seem like that big of a fag, you probably should have thought about it.

I went to an all male school. yes, I should have thought about it. I still think about it all the time.

You know what GPAs the top kids in your college class got? Lemme guess...tiny liberal arts school where people went after they got rejected from every Ivy? edit: I'm an assOr just a better school where the smart people were actually...you know, smart.

haha, speedz is thinks he's smart because he goes to a super easy school. we're smarter than you, better looking than you, and more affluent than you. (I'm pretty sure thats engraved on the entrance gate at my school)it was a small liberal arts school, but didn't really have many, if any ivy league rejects. most of the more affluent people that went there were legacy kids where daddy went there 20 years ago and wanted his son to go there too. lots and lots of rich faggots. but it really was a hard school according to many professors there and at other schools. not that it makes one damn bit of difference when no future employers have even ever heard of the fucking place.

this holiday sucks. guess who I forgot to send a present to.

hahahahahathis guy gets a girl to come across an ocean to be with him. I can't get one to leave her bar stool. sonofabitch.

[Painter567 0]

Merry Happy Christmas Sickies Faggots.

[KDawgCometh 2]

I AM BIG YANG! dude'snevergettinglaidbritishstyleagain

*stands up*I AM BIG YANG

this guy gets a girl to come across an ocean to be with him. I can't get one to leave her bar stool. sonofabitch.

at least you get that,they won't even look at me and call the cops, wtf, I just want to show them everything I bring to the table

[Ouch-8s 4]

Merry Christmas faggots. We should do a poll - how many got oranges and how many got coal?

[Tactical Bear 3]

Merry Happy Christmas Sickies Faggots.

This post warms my heart.

[speedz99 145]

future ex-GFnot getting gifts on holidays, it's just part of the overall jeff package

fa-la-la-la-la

I've only had the Chardonnay, and I thought it was very good.

Was it room temperature?

I went to an all male school. yes, I should have thought about it. I still think about it all the time.haha, speedz is thinks he's smart because he goes to a super easy school. we're smarter than you, better looking than you, and more affluent than you. (I'm pretty sure thats engraved on the entrance gate at my school)

No no...I love to mock my current super easy school. I just think I'm better than all of you because I went to the highest ranked school for undergrad. Although I feel like andre may have gone to a really good school. Maybe we should just compare SAT scores and get it over with.

not that it makes one damn bit of difference when no future employers have even ever heard of the fucking place.

Tell me about it. My school hovers around the top 10, always in the top 15, and a lot of people haven't heard of it. The bad news is that it gets annoying, the good news is that whether or not someone (not from the midwest) has heard of it is a good barometer of their intelligence...of course there are exceptions.

this guy gets a girl to come across an ocean to be with him. I can't get one to leave her bar stool. sonofabitch.

I've been told that I'm almost certainly getting laid on New Years by one of the 8-9 girls my friends and I are going to hang out with. I need the pros and cons of going for the best looking one. At what point does it stop being worth my time if it decreases the chances of success versus just taking one from the middle of the pack? It's a house party.

[speedz99 145]

I forgot to mention...I learned a lesson this morning. Don't ever go to a casino with a relatively jewy jew. Long story short, he won a grand on four sixes right after I busted. That has nothing to do with the jewy jew thing though.

[ShakeZuma 585]

Maybe we should just compare SAT scores and get it over with.

1520

I've been told that I'm almost certainly getting laid on New Years by one of the 8-9 girls my friends and I are going to hang out with. I need the pros and cons of going for the best looking one. At what point does it stop being worth my time if it decreases the chances of success versus just taking one from the middle of the pack? It's a house party.

well my opinion is that if its only going to be for one night, you're best served to go for the ugliest one available that you can stomach. the uglier the girl, the happier she'll be that you'll stick your talleywacker in her and she'll be all the better for it. and you can probably do some weird stuff to her too.