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I Called In Sick Today


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I do the "come on" thing, but only in golf. I never do it when playing someone at ping pong or any other 1-on-1 game. I used to when I was a teenager but I noticed my mom always capitalized on it and would go on quick runs when I got down on myself.

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and after 3 days, he is risen!

If you are paying $20 for a haircut, I imagine people assume you did it yourself anyway.

Pocket change cost me my first and only black girlfriend.   It was in the middle of a roaring poker boom and I was flush in ways most men don't even bother dreaming of. Money, it was like dirt to me

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This is our holiest day of the year as well as the one jewish holiday that I always observe. So suck it, Boxing Day.
Except that you're supposed to be praying and atoning right now, not telling gentiles to suck it.Just figured I'd practice my Jew Mom routine.
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Except that you're supposed to be praying and atoning right now, not telling gentiles to suck it.
Jeez mom, it's not like I'm supposed to pray for 24 hours straight.
I do the "come on" thing, but only in golf. I never do it when playing someone at ping pong or any other 1-on-1 game. I used to when I was a teenager but I noticed my mom always capitalized on it and would go on quick runs when I got down on myself.
How's she doing, by the way?
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Yeah I played tennis. Still do occasionally. I had no problems with my backhand though.Everyone needs to see this: Ahhaaaa!
Giggled like a japanese schoolgirl. Maybe that was just because I'm wearing the uniform.
Jeepster, i've been busy and hadn't had time to help Ali solve her problem, sorry i'm late, but you know what they say.If the bride doesn't refund the money then have Ali go to small claims court and sue her trying to make sure the court date is during the honeymoon so she won't show and lose, not that she wouldn't anyway. The bride will obviously refuse to pay and then after a while Ali can go back to court and ask the judge to place a lien on her property, a nice car would work but her house would be even better. The bride will continue to snub Ali so then she can go back to court and demand to have the property auctioned off so that she can get the proceeds and be payed. Ali then needs to show up at the assigned date and purchase her house for a fraction of the cost and evict her.Option two, go to the wedding and every time the minister says something and pauses, Yell out the Darth Vader, AND......
Please be two, please be two. Just for youtube-ibility
I watched a Conchords episode tonight with my father...I'm so impressed that he thinks it's hilarious.
and the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon....
This is one of our 150 holiest days of the year as well as the one jewish holiday that I always observe. So suck it, Boxing Day.
fypoff to drank.
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I have nothing to add except that the OC is the worst show I have ever seen. They are showing episodes on Much Music and my girlfriend likes the show for some reason which I will never understand. 90% of the actors are horrid and how many times can Ryan get into a fight trying to be a hero?

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Hmm, wings or pizza? I don't feel like cooking so I could order a pizza and be okay, but I would metaphorically prefer the wings.
Gold.In other news last night my girlfriend dumped me, so I obviously need some man love. First in, first served.
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Recently I rediscovered one of the greatest snacks known to man. You'll all do well to make a note of this. As a kid I ate this all the time, but until last night I hadn't had it in at least fifteen years or so. It's just a bowl of honey nut cheerios like normal with milk, but you cut up a banana into it and pour honey over the top. It's the shit, and for those of you who still have to go out and find sex, there's only maybe ten percent of the recommended daily value of fat in the whole thing, and that's if you make a big bowl.
I love honey nut cheerios with banana, but it always gives me the honey nut burps. Burping up that taste for the next 12 hours just isn't worth it to me.
In other news last night my girlfriend dumped me, so I obviously need some man love. First in, first served.
First!Ok, now remove your left sock. Slowly...
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I love honey nut cheerios with banana, but it always gives me the honey nut burps. Burping up that taste for the next 12 hours just isn't worth it to me.First!Ok, now remove your left sock. Slowly...
<grabbing sock, running gleefully into the bathroom, locking the door>
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We have a much higher view to post ratio than the Army thread. That must be proof that we're more entertaining.Hazaa!
I, too, have had this revelation. My only explanation is that, at least, 32% of their content comes from private messages sent between themselves. I would ask for thoughts, but you know I'm right. Moving on... Has anyone heard of the book "The Last Templar"?I'm three quarters of the way through, and just got to the point where they say the Templars tried to unify the three big religions.Christianity, Judaism, and Muslim. Very intriguing stuff.
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Something about being home for the holidays makes me revert back to a teenager. A conversation from dinner last night:Brother: Hey, do you want to go see Transformers at the IMAX tomorrow?Me: Shit, sorry, I've got a ton of homework to do all day.Mother: You can't go see a movie when you're supposed to be atoning! (I swear that's a real quote)Brother: Ok, whatever.Mother: Anyways, we're all going to temple in the afternoon.Me: HA! I already said that I can't do anything tomorrow because I'm studying. You all heard it. I don't want to go to temple and YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!Good times. Anyways, they just left for temple and I'm about to go rub one out.

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Care for a Big Mick? I never liked sesame seeds.
you know you always wanted a royal penis washer. good lord I know I did.
cut your hair and guys won't make that mistake
padow! I don't know if thats from that show or not, but its still funny. you know, since speedz looks like a little girl.
you guys are still here
absolutely. please tell us a story. also, please use these: . that should be enough for you for a while.
Gold.In other news last night my girlfriend dumped me, so I obviously need some man love. First in, first served.
well that sucks. on a similar note, last night I had sex with one of my friends ex girlfriends, who is now engaged to another guy. that was probably a bad idea, but man, that was great. she didn't waste any time.
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Our Drake chapter in Des Moines invited us to party with them tonight so that's what I will be doing tonight. Also, a couple of them are bartenders at a bar, so I will be going to a bar to drink for the first time so that's exciting. I might go out and buy a new polo just for the occasion.

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We have a much higher view to post ratio than the Army thread. That must be proof that we're more entertaining.Hazaa!
this goes to show that e-homoeroticism is what really drives people to off topic sections
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Good times. Anyways, they just left for temple and I'm about to go rub one out.
and then you can apologize for abusing yourself. nice. it all comes full circle.
well that sucks. on a similar note, last night I had sex with one of my friends ex girlfriends, who is now engaged to another guy. that was probably a bad idea, but man, that was great. she didn't waste any time.
i think i quoted this just to say that being hotandrew has its' perks.
Our Drake chapter in Des Moines invited us to party with them tonight so that's what I will be doing tonight. Also, a couple of them are bartenders at a bar, so I will be going to a bar to drink for the first time so that's exciting. I might go out and buy a new polo just for the occasion.
you have a whole chapter of strat's relatives nearby?
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hey kdawg, I'm gonna be getting some good beers for the fight tonight, any recommendations? I usually go with Corsondonk, but I want something new.

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