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I Called In Sick Today


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and after 3 days, he is risen!

If you are paying $20 for a haircut, I imagine people assume you did it yourself anyway.

Pocket change cost me my first and only black girlfriend.   It was in the middle of a roaring poker boom and I was flush in ways most men don't even bother dreaming of. Money, it was like dirt to me

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Wait...my irony detector is going off. Wasn't there an issue with you having big plans for a catheter bag and warm beer in a movie theater earlier this year?
Not exactly irony, the catheter bag idea was inspired by my experiences with having a catheter in such as this.
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its always a good night when your fingers wind up in her ***, but try for the thumbs. I hung out at the bar on Palm Beach last night, Cucina's? Just wondering if you have ever been there, because it was easily the most douchey bar I have ever been to. Every guy in there had like pink pants or a douchey pony tail, yet they somehow managed to still have phenominal girls all over them. It felt like a fieldtrip into the world of the 10$ drinks
yeah, been to Cucina's. Some booty running around there. It's weird that i don't get laid more, because I am really effin money. Seriously. I taught a guy tonight how to buy a girl a water. He loved me, asked for my phone number, kissed three different girls. Seriously, I'm kind of cool.also, I need to look out of one eye to see this screen. How did I drive home again? No idea.edit: It may have been two girls. Hell, one may have been a man. Either way
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Lol, I guarantee this will not happen. Nor should it, it's clearly not worth it for Zimmer to risk a felony charge for 150$ taht you are offering
Zim - even though your not thinking about it...when u mail it you put a fake return address...you put the correct to address but with a different name (or fake one). You also pay with cash and over night it.I heard its practically risk free doing it this way.....
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Zim - even though your not thinking about it...when u mail it you put a fake return address...you put the correct to address but with a different name (or fake one). You also pay with cash and over night it.I heard its practically risk free doing it this way.....
more issues than Newsweek
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Zim - even though your not thinking about it...when u mail it you put a fake return address...you put the correct to address but with a different name (or fake one). You also pay with cash and over night it.I heard its practically risk free doing it this way.....
i hart u raquel
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Poker is fucking gay. Now I remember why I stopped playing this game. Had a freeroll final table tonight with friends to finish out our "Poker Superstars"-esque thing that we've had going for a while. Winner-take-all, for nearly $500. I started in 5th chip position, built up to 2nd, and in the next 6 hands I played I was out.... All from the same fucking kid.KK<Q5AK (TPTK) < J47h9h (SF draw + 2 overs) < 5522 (set) < 10-62nd nut flush loses to nuts9-10(flopped straight) < 6-8 I officially hate this game.big_tits_003.jpg

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more issues than Newsweek
not really
i hart u raquel
aww thanks!!!!pointless drunk post:we went to see the Marine Corps' Silent Drill Platoon. Since the General throwing the evening parade is my boss i got some awesome seats...Anyways while we're waiting for the ceremony to start they ask little trivia questions. I got the prize question right and won a calendar :club: Where is the only place that the flag is flown 24/7 and has never been taken down?
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Yeah, I read crashes story too.. absolutely riveting. Maybe the most interesting thing I've ever read in the forums... FCP crashed before I could read the last page of the story last night, and I was going out of my mind, refreshing and refreshing, trying to get back into fcp.

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Where is the only place that the flag is flown 24/7 and has never been taken down?
knew it immediately, but it's been answered.Watching Good Will Hunting on regular tv isn't good.I had more, but none of it was interesting. as per usualnice work andrew. Please tell us how awkward it is Monday
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wooohooo
haha. ok.for some reason I don't think its gonna be awkward really. I mean she has a boyfriend, so its not like she's gonna get all clingy or anything. also, she's leaving in august to go back to school anyways, along with me moving to a completely different team in the mean time. I don't know, I think I'll be all right, just as long as she's on the pill. good lord I hope she's on the pill.
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haha. ok.for some reason I don't think its gonna be awkward really. I mean she has a boyfriend, so its not like she's gonna get all clingy or anything. also, she's leaving in august to go back to school anyways, along with me moving to a completely different team in the mean time. I don't know, I think I'll be all right, just as long as she's on the pill. good lord I hope she's on the pill.
How many times do I have to say this? B-BOMB THAT FACE!!I love the fact that girls are ****ing animals, worse than men actually. And yet I'm the *******. Remember, the guy isn't the one spreading his legs* Can we get a story on this? Set-up, close, positions, time? I need a good turn-on. Plus pictures would be nice too. "Want to know how I know you're gay? You ask for pictures of men"*unless you're mdg and are practicing the sexual positions of a woman.
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Well there isn't a whole lot of a story to it, which is kinda funny. I went to this club/bar last night because some other girls I know from work were going for one of their birthdays, though I didn't think this one girl in particular was gonna be there, lets call her Vance. She showed up shortly after I did, we said hi, blah blah blah, but really didn't talk much for the rest of the night. I was busy dancing and making out with a girl who later informed me that her husband was there at the bar too. Cool. Didn't see her anymore. So later on when I'm leaving, I'm trying to get up with another girl I know (not from work, one of my friends wives) cause she said she'd take me home since I was plastered, and then Vance comes up to me and asks me where I'm going and states she still wants to hang out. I told her I had some beer in the truck (yay 18 packs of heineken) but had to ride with the other girl. She then tells me she would take me home if I wanted but she would have to stay there, but since my sister lives with me and that would be a little weird I said I didn't want to go to my house (30 miles away anyways) so she takes me to her house. Her parents house. Oookay. So we go inside, I continue to drink until she kinda forces me on the bed and we go at it. I honestly can't remember that much about the sex cause I was on some new fancy fandangled pain pill my married friend gave me and quite well lit, but I think she was pretty good, although I doubt I was. Best part was this morning when we were leaving her house so she could take me back to my truck, I had to walk out with what was left of my beer while Vance's mother, who didn't know I was there, had to keep the dogs from getting out with us. Aaaawwwkward. Whatever.Now I'm quite hungover, and I think I may take another nap.And I think I made a date last night with another girl for tonight to go to a wedding, but I don't think I want to go. Sounds like a lot of trouble, and sex more than once a year would just be greedy.

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Well there isn't a whole lot of a story to it, which is kinda funny. I went to this club/bar last night because some other girls I know from work were going for one of their birthdays, though I didn't think this one girl in particular was gonna be there, lets call her Vance. She showed up shortly after I did, we said hi, blah blah blah, but really didn't talk much for the rest of the night. I was busy dancing and making out with a girl who later informed me that her husband was there at the bar too. Cool. Didn't see her anymore. So later on when I'm leaving, I'm trying to get up with another girl I know (not from work, one of my friends wives) cause she said she'd take me home since I was plastered, and then Vance comes up to me and asks me where I'm going and states she still wants to hang out. I told her I had some beer in the truck (yay 18 packs of heineken) but had to ride with the other girl. She then tells me she would take me home if I wanted but she would have to stay there, but since my sister lives with me and that would be a little weird I said I didn't want to go to my house (30 miles away anyways) so she takes me to her house. Her parents house. Oookay. So we go inside, I continue to drink until she kinda forces me on the bed and we go at it. I honestly can't remember that much about the sex cause I was on some new fancy fandangled pain pill my married friend gave me and quite well lit, but I think she was pretty good, although I doubt I was. Best part was this morning when we were leaving her house so she could take me back to my truck, I had to walk out with what was left of my beer while Vance's mother, who didn't know I was there, had to keep the dogs from getting out with us. Aaaawwwkward. Whatever.Now I'm quite hungover, and I think I may take another nap.And I think I made a date last night with another girl for tonight to go to a wedding, but I don't think I want to go. Sounds like a lot of trouble, and sex more than once a year would just be greedy.
awesome.ty.ummm okay, so does anyone know any non-pill remedies to get hard other than oysters? I'm having circulation issues and it's starting to get bad. Like Alfie, only less beautiful women, and 30lbs more than jude law.
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awesome.ty.ummm okay, so does anyone know any non-pill remedies to get hard other than oysters? I'm having circulation issues and it's starting to get bad. Like Alfie, only less beautiful women, and 30lbs more than jude law.
get more active if you are'nt. Try working out or doing anything aerobic.
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