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I Called In Sick Today


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thats the best FYP i can do?its actually not even that interesting. i'll make a list when i feel like it, but she basically she's latched onto my group of friends even though she's close with no one, spends most of the evening in various girlfriend-like poses with me, then sleeps over at my place, even though hers is very accessible, and always wants to snuggle first. we must note that she always offers to sleep on the couch, has never initiated any touching (and several times i've been drunk enough to accept), and is always gone by 7 or 8 in the morning (which is pretty fantastic).its actually depressed me lately, since i realized on a couple instances that she would make a pretty solid girlfriend, even though we have little in common, and i don't think we have any kind of serious connection. i guess just depressing in that its kind of killed my idealism. even more so when i realize that if she was about 30 pounds lighter, i'd be very happy to be touching her regularly, and that something that shallow being the difference kind of sickens me.oh well, she's trying to learn about baseball, so that's step 1. step 2 is getting a couple more mattresses, so instead of a bed, i'll just have 4 mattresses, 2 high and 2 wide, so i'll actually be able to sleep if she stays over. if i can work that out, i'll be out of excuses not to recommence Mission VaJayJay.p.s. thanks for the interest mattycat. i love you.
I have a remedy for you MDG.You need to get screwed over by a girl in order to loose respect for them, then you will become jaded and treat all women like whores and sex will be easy when you look at them as penis holders. Eventually you will look at some of them as humans that deserve respect again, but you will never loose that poon assasin mentality and balance will be reached.
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and after 3 days, he is risen!

If you are paying $20 for a haircut, I imagine people assume you did it yourself anyway.

Pocket change cost me my first and only black girlfriend.   It was in the middle of a roaring poker boom and I was flush in ways most men don't even bother dreaming of. Money, it was like dirt to me

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yeah matty and wang, i can't help but point out that you're making the obvious mistake of thinking people actually care about you. they don't. if you succeed, they'll enjoy sharing your happiness, and if you don't, they won't do anything, except maybe pass along vague condolences if cornered. maybe 2 of the dozens of people that have commented really give any kind of legimitimate **** about whether you actually succeed or not, and the rest are just making friendly conversation in a positive vein until they can penetrate either you or a friend.this seems obvious.
You're... very... sad. I'm a pretty horrible person, and I don't really have all that many close friends, but when it comes to the people I DO consider friends, I'm certain that all of them care about me and my life and my future. That's one of the very few conditions of friendship, in my opinion. Most of my friends are insensitive jerks, and all of them are pretty weird, but at the same time, they're all generally good, honest, sincere people who wouldn't offer me support and well wishes unless they truly, you know, meant well. What kind of friends do YOU have? What kind of people do you associate with that honestly can't be bothered to care about you one way or another? Is that how you feel about YOUR friends? You aren't really affected one way or another if they succeed or fail, if they're happy or not? Because, golly, that's just... very... sad.Wang
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I'm pretty sure MDG was joking. He's more in love with his friends than anyone I've ever even heard of.oh, and he's GOT TO BE gay. Just grab for the boob, jeez.

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I have a remedy for you MDG.You need to get screwed over by a girl in order to loose respect for them, then you will become jaded and treat all women like whores and sex will be easy when you look at them as penis holders. Eventually you will look at some of them as humans that deserve respect again, but you will never loose that poon assasin mentality and balance will be reached.
You are also oddly sad. I think the medication I'm on is working, which sucks. I've found myself feeling optimistic and- while still fiercely cynical and vaguely negative- looking forward to interacting with new and interesting people, hopeful that things will turn out well. In general. Maybe that's why I haven't been here as much recently. I kinda feel this weird nebulous need to have some semblance of a (gulp!) normal life, surrounded by normal happy people. For some reason I associate this place with my defeatist, shoulder-shrugging, misery-accepting side. Perhaps I'll find a way to reconcile my newer, more positive (but still righteously negative) outlook on life with the balky, jaundiced, antagonistic attitude I've always carried in here.But probably not.Bizzle? Got any thoughts, you fucking weirdo?Wang
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i wept a single tear for you todayfarewell
Ignoring the sarcasm, don't worry...I'll still be posting here, though very infrequently starting a few weeks from now. I've decided to not even check on NWP for a few weeks (starting last night). It's easier to go cold turkey.Wanger, MDG thought I was talking about family, not friends. Which is still odd and slightly upsetting, but maybe a little more understandable. I'm glad to hear you're doing well, though. You're missed around here, but it's good to know that the reason why you're not around is because you're...I can't believe I'm saying this...happy? Oh, and while I have you here, say hi to your brother for me.
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Ignoring the sarcasm, don't worry...I'll still be posting here, though very infrequently starting a few weeks from now. I've decided to not even check on NWP for a few weeks (starting last night). It's easier to go cold turkey.Wanger, MDG thought I was talking about family, not friends. Which is still odd and slightly upsetting, but maybe a little more understandable. I'm glad to hear you're doing well, though. You're missed around here, but it's good to know that the reason why you're not around is because you're...I can't believe I'm saying this...happy? Oh, and while I have you here, say hi to your brother for me.
Happy is a bad word for it. "Less Miserable than a Cat in a Rainstorm" is probably closer to the truth. There's been lots of weird stuff going on. I find myself making jokes that aren't at someone's expense (or at least waiting until he or she leaves the room), stuff like that. I also notice I let perceived slights roll off my back more than usual. Somebody says something designed to embarrass me or "put me down," and instead of instantly gearing up for a conflict- in order to prove I ain't no bitch and that I'm a real man, dammit- I just kinda realize I, you know, don't really care that much. At all. It's weird. I think it makes me less interesting, but significantly easier to be around. I'm less charismatic/magnetic, but I'm probably more likeable for it. Not sure how I feel about that, but I'm also not sure it really matters. I'll say hi to the DanMan for you, surely. I had the pleasure of seeing him hit a ball about 390-400 feet the other day, which was pretty cool. Dead center. Just annihilated the thing. He promised me that if I were in attendence and he hit a homerun, he'd do the Dmitri Young chicken wing arm flap (for anyone who is familiar). He did it before he rounded second base, and I laughed my fucking *** off. He's also had a few altercations with his 3rd base coach, because the guy found out I've been kinda seeing his girlfriend on the side when I've been in town. Instead of confronting me like a man about it, he makes snide comments to my brother, who in turn makes voice-raised comments about how I'm fucking the guy's girlfriend, and that the guy's so obviously a passive-aggressive pussy. Wang
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ok, bubbling a 180 when I didn't have a single hand over jack high at an aggressive table without being able to reshove and make someone fold was real fun, especially when I was top 12 in chips the whole time. SUPER. I didn't even care if I bubbled, I just wanted a shoveworthy hand. I had to go with A2 in ep, two callers, AQ and 10 10. Just awesome.-Zimmer

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You are also oddly sad. I think the medication I'm on is working, which sucks. I've found myself feeling optimistic and- while still fiercely cynical and vaguely negative- looking forward to interacting with new and interesting people, hopeful that things will turn out well. In general. Maybe that's why I haven't been here as much recently. I kinda feel this weird nebulous need to have some semblance of a (gulp!) normal life, surrounded by normal happy people. For some reason I associate this place with my defeatist, shoulder-shrugging, misery-accepting side. Perhaps I'll find a way to reconcile my newer, more positive (but still righteously negative) outlook on life with the balky, jaundiced, antagonistic attitude I've always carried in here.But probably not.Bizzle? Got any thoughts, you fucking weirdo?Wang
Actually, yea. I think part of the reason that you (and all of the rest of us) post in here is the atmosphere that we all find is fairly conduscive to our normal outlook on life. We chased away a few of the people who are wicked cheerful and unable to handle the constant antagonistic atmosphere in here (the name that comes to mind is smmaciemaiciameic). I think that as a whole, the group has a tendency to respond to positive things happening with a sense of detachment and cynicism, while we are able to hold onto the negative things that happen as something that is normal and that we are capable of handling. I'm not saying that as a group we are chronically unhappy, I'm just saying that we have a tendency to swing towards the pessismistic side of things when given the opportunity.I think a part of this comes from the fact that I would say the group as a whole is of above-average intelligence (cept for Grinder-I've seen his C++ programs and he's clearly a tard). I've often found myself wondering whether or not my outlook on life would change if I was dumber, and I've always thought that it would, mainly because instead of thinking about whether or not that would be the case, I would be trying to figure out how the clouds are so high in the sky. Intelligence isn't an excuse for being pessismistic (if anything, it should signify that we know better) but I don't believe the statement "ignorance is bliss" appeared from nowhere. I do have to force myself to think positive at times, if only because I know that my mind is going to spend an inordinate amount of time on trying to figure out all the negative things that could happen and how to avoid them.
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MDG's stuff about not being able to sleep in the same bed as his "girlfriend" reminded me. I have a related problem.I can't find a comfortable way to spoon. I've tried shifting up a little bit to make the angle easier to get my arm under the pillow, but the end result is always that my arm falls asleep. I just can't figure out what to do with my damn arm without it keeping me awake. Spooning is nice, but I've struggled so much with making it work that I'm beginning to think it's just a myth. If someone could hook me up with an ms paint diagram of how to spoon, I'd appreciate it.I was totally expecting to be unable to fall asleep like MDG, but that hasn't been the case.

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Actually, yea. I think part of the reason that you (and all of the rest of us) post in here is the atmosphere that we all find is fairly conduscive to our normal outlook on life. We chased away a few of the people who are wicked cheerful and unable to handle the constant antagonistic atmosphere in here (the name that comes to mind is smmaciemaiciameic). I think that as a whole, the group has a tendency to respond to positive things happening with a sense of detachment and cynicism, while we are able to hold onto the negative things that happen as something that is normal and that we are capable of handling. I'm not saying that as a group we are chronically unhappy, I'm just saying that we have a tendency to swing towards the pessismistic side of things when given the opportunity.I think a part of this comes from the fact that I would say the group as a whole is of above-average intelligence (cept for Grinder-I've seen his C++ programs and he's clearly a tard). I've often found myself wondering whether or not my outlook on life would change if I was dumber, and I've always thought that it would, mainly because instead of thinking about whether or not that would be the case, I would be trying to figure out how the clouds are so high in the sky. Intelligence isn't an excuse for being pessismistic (if anything, it should signify that we know better) but I don't believe the statement "ignorance is bliss" appeared from nowhere. I do have to force myself to think positive at times, if only because I know that my mind is going to spend an inordinate amount of time on trying to figure out all the negative things that could happen and how to avoid them.
Good analysis, but I'm thinking we should just shove the turn. Getting value here is important, but clearly secondary to winning chips in the pot. Unless we get the money in on the turn, it'll be very easy to make a mistake on the river. This is one of the cases where proper tournament strategy dictates we sacrifice some immediate value for the future value of protecting our chips.Wait, what? For some reason I just saw "Bizzle" was posting, and had a little flashback or something. Seriously, though, your analysis is pretty spot on. I've spent alot of time discussing the "Ignorance is Bliss" question with friends, and we eventually came to the conclusion that while being like my friend Jerry- unquestioning, simple, seemingly starry-eyed with wonder- might be easier, it'd be less gratifying. He'll never experience the frequency and intensity of lows that some of us do, but he'll also never experience some of the more subtle highs. Then again, that's probably just egocentric and elitist. But I kinda believe it, anyway. Thanks for the response, BizzleBee.
MDG's stuff about not being able to sleep in the same bed as his "girlfriend" reminded me. I have a related problem.I can't find a comfortable way to spoon. I've tried shifting up a little bit to make the angle easier to get my arm under the pillow, but the end result is always that my arm falls asleep. I just can't figure out what to do with my damn arm without it keeping me awake. Spooning is nice, but I've struggled so much with making it work that I'm beginning to think it's just a myth. If someone could hook me up with an ms paint diagram of how to spoon, I'd appreciate it.I was totally expecting to be unable to fall asleep like MDG, but that hasn't been the case.
I'm bad at it, too. During most of the postcoital time I spend in bed with a woman, 90% of my energy and focus is directed towards a means to extricating myself from some uncomfortable position. Find a way to get her to fall asleep so I can move my arm. Or pretend to fall asleep, so she's not offended. Etc. I'm not limber enough to spoon well. The only way I can really snuggle is if I'm on my back, and the girl pretty rolls most of the way on top of me and puts her head on my chest, with her arm draped most of the way around me. That way my arms are free. And I don't really have to make eye-contact.Wait, when did you start spoonin' bitches??Wang
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If someone could hook me up with an ms paint diagram of how to spoon, I'd appreciate it.
Big pillow, arm under the neck between the shoulder and the pillow.That, or just kick the doll off the bed when you're done with her.
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MDG's stuff about not being able to sleep in the same bed as his "girlfriend" reminded me. I have a related problem.I can't find a comfortable way to spoon. I've tried shifting up a little bit to make the angle easier to get my arm under the pillow, but the end result is always that my arm falls asleep. I just can't figure out what to do with my damn arm without it keeping me awake. Spooning is nice, but I've struggled so much with making it work that I'm beginning to think it's just a myth. If someone could hook me up with an ms paint diagram of how to spoon, I'd appreciate it.I was totally expecting to be unable to fall asleep like MDG, but that hasn't been the case.
This should cover it.stratlz6.png
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hey bizzle youneed to fly with mr fucking knowitall beans sometime.We were in the worst thunderstorm ive ever seen over arizona once when the bastard started talking about how storms work.i was shitting my pants and probably part of his too and he sat there like he was bored telling me about goddamn hi and low pressure and shit.litening and shit hitting the wings and he worried about losing his new gps radio. i had to hold his fucking beer a few times while he held the wheel with both hands.i got real fuckin worryed when the horn started blowing that tells you that your ass is stalling.he said he was glad that zack wasnt there and made me feel real fuckin good.he can tell you how high the clouds are by the temprature and dew point or some **** and claims that some clouds weight 100000 to a million pounds.i dont believe that shit but he kept my *** from dying in a ****ing plane more than once so i just shake my head and agree.

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This should cover it.
Fantastic. I love how Strat is the woman of the relationship and the other dude has his hands behind his head.
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Fantastic. I love how Strat is the woman of the relationship and the other dude has his hands behind his head.
I laughed. I am pretty much the fag of the relationship.
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Hey gays. I got in earlier today from my trip, and I'm closer to death than I have been in a long time. More details to follow, probably tomorrow night. I have work all day, and I need to crash right now. Here's a quick rundown of the positives and negatives.Negatives:-No sexing from the hot friend of a friend.-Dislocated kneecap, mucho swelling and pain.-Forgot my keys at friend's house, had to call parents to bring spare set to JFK Airport-Absolutely exhausted in ways I never thought possible.-I catch myself slipping into an upstater accent every once in a while.-Long day of work tomorrow.-Screwed up my diet big time.Positives:-Set myself up nicely with the hot girl. Limited time constraints made for a difficult time getting her alone, but some timely flirting, good (drunk) conversation, and a foot/calf massage made for a good set up for a few weeks from now. This brings me to point #2...-Hot girl coming to visit in a few weeks when school is over. -Mom gave me about 12 vicodin that she had left over from her most recent dental procedure, due to the abhorrent look of my right knee.-Awesome weekend overall, drunk for basically 3.5 days straight.-Met some awesome people, and hung out with some close friends at the same time.-Somehow acquired a cool looking Brockport University hoodie. No idea how.-Plenty of good stories, best of which being how I dislocated my kneecap.-Introduced Brockport to 21-cup beer pong. Recieved legendary status for my contribution.-Did I mention the vicodin?Bed time. Later days fuckers.

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Negatives:-I catch myself slipping into an upstater accent every once in a while.
Wrong column.
Positives:-Somehow acquired a cool looking Brockport University hoodie. No idea how.
Also wrong column.
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Wrong column.
I'm very sorry, but pronouncing the names "Erin" and "Aaron" exactly the same does not make for a pleasant sounding accent. Also, since my friend who put us up is named Jackie, I had to hear, "Jeeackie" all weekend long. I hate you people. I did however, through my Long Island Asian Osmosis, get no less than 7 people to slip and either say, "Hot Dawg(hotdog)", "Cawfee(coffee)", "Lawra (laura)" etc.
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I'm very sorry, but pronouncing the names "Erin" and "Aaron" exactly the same does not make for a pleasant sounding accent. Also, since my friend who put us up is named Jackie, I had to hear, "Jeeackie" all weekend long. I hate you people. I did however, through my Long Island Asian Osmosis, get no less than 7 people to slip and either say, "Hot Dawg(hotdog)", "Cawfee(coffee)", "Lawra (laura)" etc.
The best part of this quote is that the Boston girls made fun of my brother and me for that exact Aaron/Erin thing. Honestly, there's a difference?Did they all have the "ah" sound for random R's? Like "yestahday" and "Rochestah"?
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oh, and apparently RCC is basically my girlfriend now, even though we're not touching eachother. its kind of funny actually. she ****-blocks me everywhere we go, and i really enjoy spending time with her, even though its generally pretty girlfriend/cuddly. so basically i'm getting all the cons of a relationship and none of the benefits, except that i can make fun of her pretty ruthlessly, and she has nothing to withhold, since we're not having sex. i guess we probably should be, but i'm having a hard time getting over how completely unattracted i am to her, except when she's inches away from my penis. and even then, its mostly just reflex.
just to let you know, pseudo relationships suck. you think that you're golden, then you go out to NYC only to find out that the bitch doesn't want to be with you and has started another long distance relationship with some dude out in cali. k, I know that what I said has little to no relevance, so, I dunno
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okay, wow, after catching up, I just don't know what to say. MDG giving us updates and strat talking about spooning. I need to get a workin or else I'll end up soon being the longest dry spell person here

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beans told me once that he bent this chick over and was about to do her in the butt when she looked around at him and said that mighty precocious of you and he said thats a mighty big word for a ten year old.hahahahaha!

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MA, THE MEATLOAF, WE WANT IT.Man, sometimes, I wonder what she's doin up there.
I laughed
I almost numchucked you, you don't even realize!
That turned into more laughter
you ol' sailor you
I finished lol'ing.
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