I Called In Sick Today

[speedz99 145]

As bad as some of the new Chappelle's show stuff was, this might be one of my few favorite skits he ever did.

My favorite part of his standup routine (I can't think of which one it was) is when he goes into a hick diner, and can't understand how the waiter knows that he is going to want the chicken...then he realizes the guy is a racist."I didn't realize that I was pre-disposed to love chicken...I just thought I loved chicken because it's delicious."And yes, the situation in the store was kind of uncomfortable for a moment until I realized how amazingly funny it was. The shame of it all is that there was nobody with me at the time. If I was with a friend we'd be screaming "We're getting HOT TONIIIGHT" at each other for the rest of our lives.

[MightyLouse 0]

And yes, the situation in the store was kind of uncomfortable for a moment until I realized how amazingly funny it was. The shame of it all is that there was nobody with me at the time. If I was with a friend we'd be screaming "We're getting HOT TONIIIGHT" at each other for the rest of our lives.

I was on vacation with a friend of mine in Florida last summer. We were 17 and wandering around looking for a way to get beer, and stopped stopped at this weird convenience store we thought our fake IDs would work at. We walked in and my friend noticed a weigh-yourself scale in the corner. He deposited a quarter and it didn't weight him. So he turned to the 15yr. old african-american kid behind the counter pointed at the scale and asked "Does this work?"The clerk then responded excitedly with bugged out eyes in a high-pitched/squeally voice, "Yeah! It's outta order!" For some reason the fact that he responded to "Does this work" first with a "Yeah!" then immediately followed it up with something that meant "NO!" was too funny to us. So we repeated that all trip. The next night we went to a restaurant. He ordered a salad and the asian waiter asked what kind of dressing he wanted. He asked what they had."Fwench o wanch" were apparently his only two options. My friend was an ******* and made him say it over and over again.I don't know what made me think of that.

[MightyLouse 0]

And yes, the situation in the store was kind of uncomfortable for a moment until I realized how amazingly funny it was. The shame of it all is that there was nobody with me at the time. If I was with a friend we'd be screaming "We're getting HOT TONIIIGHT" at each other for the rest of our lives.

I was on vacation with a friend of mine in Florida last summer. We were 17 and wandering around looking for a way to get beer, and stopped stopped at this weird convenience store we thought our fake IDs would work at. We walked in and my friend noticed a weigh-yourself scale in the corner. He deposited a quarter and it didn't weight him. So he turned to the 15yr. old african-american kid behind the counter pointed at the scale and asked "Does this work?"The clerk then responded excitedly with bugged out eyes in a high-pitched/squeally voice, "Yeah! It's outta order!" For some reason the fact that he responded to "Does this work" first with a "Yeah!" then immediately followed it up with something that meant "NO!" was too funny to us. So we repeated that all trip. The next night we went to a restaurant. He ordered a salad and the asian waiter asked what kind of dressing he wanted. He asked what they had."Fwench o wanch" were apparently his only two options. My friend was an ******* and made him say it over and over again.I don't know what made me think of that.

[speedz99 145]

"Fwench o wanch" were apparently his only two options. My friend was an ******* and made him say it over and over again.

Fantastic.There is a soul food/chicken & waffles place in Phoenix that I used to go to. The soft drink machine was out in the open as a serve yourself thing...when one of the drinks would run out they posted a "Ain't No More" sign over it.I don't know what made me think of that.Hey Caleb, what's the good word?

[renaedawn 1]

I don't know what made me think of that.

I don't know what made me think of that.

I'm not sure why you thought of it twice in such quick succession.

[KDawgCometh 2]

Keith, click that UFC link I posted last page. I'm pretty sure its a new fight. The article has a date of Jan 07

oooo, that is new. That looks like a great card. I really wish I had showtime, as that card is going to be legendary and is great news for MMA

[turd ferguson 1]

Trill. Does this kind of thing happen in college? I mean they let gaggles of negroes have access to things?

Best laugh of the day.

That's probably not a good idea.They could get pregnant with all that sperm lying around.

Also very good.

Hey Caleb, what's the good word?

Not a lot, my friend. I got sick and couldn't play in the stud tourney, plus a lot of other things I'm not going to discuss here. One of these days I'll have a lot to talk about.

[Ouch-8s 4]

oooo, that is new. That looks like a great card. I really wish I had showtime, as that card is going to be legendary and is great news for MMA

Suit Up!

[Denny Crane 0]

oooo, that is new. That looks like a great card. I really wish I had showtime, as that card is going to be legendary and is great news for MMA

ok then, I'm watching it. This will be the first UFC or whatever that I've ever watched. I'm not really a tough guy. I'd rather watch One Tree Hill, but the hype preview on Showtime made me wanna watch.

[Denny Crane 0]

Not a lot, my friend. I got sick and couldn't play in the stud tourney, plus a lot of other things I'm not going to discuss here. One of these days I'll have a lot to talk about.

You knocked up XXXEddie's g/f?

[renaedawn 1]

You knocked up XXXEddie's g/f?

Trill.

[speedz99 145]

Dental plan.

[zimmer4141 0]

Dental plan.

Lisa needs Braces.

[ricker 0]

Lisa needs Braces.

back when the simpsons didn't suck

[zimmer4141 0]

Matt1, did you say that with the intent of somebody following up with the quote that I did?

[speedz99 145]

Matt1, did you say that with the intent of somebody following up with the quote that I did?

I did, and I had a feeling it might be you. I think of that every time I hear "dental" or "braces", and felt like I could pass that along.

back when the simpsons didn't suck

Yup. I can't believe that it's still on the air...I think the last time I laughed at a joke from that show was 7 seasons ago.edit: Upon further review, I should have said that I did not plan on someone making that reply. I could have gone into a long explanation about why I would post "dental plan" if not in reference to the Simpsons. Not that anyone would buy it, but I could have occupied myself for a while.Ok, I'm signing out for a while. Maybe for a few days. I'm losing it.

[zimmer4141 0]

I did, and I had a feeling it might be you. I think of that every time I hear "dental" or "braces", and felt like I could pass that along.Yup. I can't believe that it's still on the air...I think the last time I laughed at a joke from that show was 7 seasons ago.edit: Upon further review, I should have said that I did not plan on someone making that reply. I could have gone into a long explanation about why I would post "dental plan" if not in reference to the Simpsons. Not that anyone would buy it, but I could have occupied myself for a while.Ok, I'm signing out for a while. Maybe for a few days. I'm losing it.

Oh come on, you tell a great story about a few blacks making a jew feel weird about buying corvasier, then you just leave?

[Shimmering Wang 1]

I'm not sure why you thought of it twice in such quick succession.

Don't be a fucking bitch. As an older brother, I'm not particularly protective over my larger, stronger, more well-suited for life younger half, but that's just mean. From what I've read, looks like somebody forgot to take her Midol today. Zing!Looks like Lolli's been busy...Wrestling Suspended After Herpes OutbreakMINNEAPOLIS -- Minnesota high school wrestling programs were suspended Tuesday because of a widespread herpes outbreak. The Minnesota State High School League banned competitions and direct contact between wrestlers in practice until Feb. 6 after 24 cases of herpes gladiatorum were reported by 10 teams. The virus is spread by skin-to-skin contact, and symptoms include lesions on the face, head and neck.The suspension is meant to control the current outbreak, allow time to diagnose new cases and prevent disqualifications at the state tournament, scheduled for Feb. 28-March 3.The Minnesota Department of Health has been tracking the virus, caused by herpes simplex Type 1, the same strain that causes cold sores. Officials first became aware of the outbreak at a tournament in Rochester in late-December.Wang

[zimmer4141 0]

Pokerwise I'm just extremely frustrated right now. I've been trying to play more tournies, can't get dealt anything, can't bluff at any pots, and can't get past the first hour in basically every tourney I've played in the past month.

[ricker 0]

Yup. I can't believe that it's still on the air...I think the last time I laughed at a joke from that show was 7 seasons ago.edit: Upon further review, I should have said that I did not plan on someone making that reply. I could have gone into a long explanation about why I would post "dental plan" if not in reference to the Simpsons. Not that anyone would buy it, but I could have occupied myself for a while.

It's disgraceful what they've become.......just disgraceful.

[renaedawn 1]

Don't be a fucking bitch. As an older brother, I'm not particularly protective over my larger, stronger, more well-suited for life younger half, but that's just mean. From what I've read, looks like somebody forgot to take her Midol today. Zing!

Ah, Derek, it's good to have you back. I think that's the first time you've ever zinged me. Does that mean you won't be posting that phone # again?

[ShakeZuma 585]

Go ride your invisible bike.

I thought lesbians only hated men.welcome back, um, senior wang.I have nothing else of interest to say.

[strategy 4]

Wang:You owe us a story of some kind.

[Shimmering Wang 1]

welcome back, um, senior wang.

The only reason I left on my Quest in the first place was so I could convince the Dannenantor to post her for a few weeks, so I could then make my triumphant and inevitable return, hoping to finally achieve my lifelong goal of being addressed as "BigWang." (I gave up on figuring out how to get "Mr. BigWang" into the mix. Sadly.)You have spoiled it. I hope your first born daughter stars in an webisode of "My Daughter's Fucking a Blackzilla" when she's 18. I also hope she's following in her mother's footsteps. (EDIT: Just to be sure, let me point out that I hope the mother of your daughter is your wife, and that you care about her deeply.)

[ShakeZuma 585]

The only reason I left on my Quest in the first place was so I could convince the Dannenantor to post her for a few weeks, so I could then make my triumphant and inevitable return, hoping to finally achieve my lifelong goal of being addressed as "BigWang." (I gave up on figuring out how to get "Mr. BigWang" into the mix. Sadly.)You have spoiled it. I hope your first born daughter stars in an webisode of "My Daughter's Fucking a Blackzilla" when she's 18. I also hope she's following in her mother's footsteps. (EDIT: Just to be sure, let me point out that I hope the mother of your daughter is your wife, and that you care about her deeply.)

the only reason I posted "welcome back senior wang" was because I was hoping that you would be so outraged by not being referred to as "bigwang" that you would instantly curse my future daughter to a life of all black internet posted gang bangs, therefore giving her the edge against all the other pasty white girls trying to get into the internet black gangbang scene, making her the most successful member of my family to enter into the online sex trade.and don't forget, if I ever got married, there is no way that I would actually love my wife.