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and after 3 days, he is risen!

If you are paying $20 for a haircut, I imagine people assume you did it yourself anyway.

Pocket change cost me my first and only black girlfriend.   It was in the middle of a roaring poker boom and I was flush in ways most men don't even bother dreaming of. Money, it was like dirt to me

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I'm sure you guys know the tune the USC Band plays after almost every play for USC. We had thoughts for a new stupid online video.Have me and my buddy in Matt Leinart and Reggie Bush Jerseys, go around doing mundane things like putting money in a parking meter, getting out of a parking spot, answering a question in class, etc. And have someone in the trojan hat and a trumpet playing that song.

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I'm sure you guys know the tune the USC Band plays after almost every play for USC. We had thoughts for a new stupid online video.Have me and my buddy in Matt Leinart and Reggie Bush Jerseys, go around doing mundane things like putting money in a parking meter, getting out of a parking spot, answering a question in class, etc. And have someone in the trojan hat and a trumpet playing that song.
yeah... I could see that... I would prolly laugh at it too...
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Yeah, I never noticed it watching their games on TV, but the band plays literally after any play where USC gains positive yardage, or any play where their opponent doesn't get a first down.

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Yeah, I never noticed it watching their games on TV, but the band plays literally after any play where USC gains positive yardage, or any play where their opponent doesn't get a first down.
Yeah... I remember someone counting how many times they played it one time... I think it was in the 70s... I can't remember though...
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I was originally going to make fun of you for this, until I realized that 90% of girls that go to tanning salons are hot.If she works at the tanning salon, even better, because about 98% of girls employed in tanning salons are ridiculously hot. Also, better tan = more contrast for the spunk/forehead mural.
as long as their skin doesn't look like it would make a nice jacket.
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Okay. So I just got back from hanging out with Tanning Salon girl. I don't remember if I told you her real name last time, so let's just call her Jessica (since that's her name).I briefly considered making more than a cursory effort to appear presentable, but in the end decided on a newish pair of jeans, my Michigan hoodie, and absolutely no beard trim. I did, however, shower, brush my teeth, and apply at least a little deodorant. Time to roll, motherfuckers. I wasn't sure what she wanted to do- are we going out? are we staying in? does she want to, like, talk or something?- so I really had no clue what to expect when I showed up at her place. (Wang knocks)Jessica: (through door) "Hold on, just a second!"(Wang rocks back and forth on heels, whistles a little bit)(Door opens, Jessica smiles, squeezes out)Jessica: "Hey, you wanna grab a quick bite to eat? It's been a long day."Wang: "I'm sure." (pause) "I mean, sure. Yeah."(-2 Charisma)Nice, Derek. Quite the inauspicious beginning. So we drove to a crappy little burger/steak/grille joint, and got a little food. Here are some choice conversational moments from the car ride and dinner.Jessica: "Hey, who is this? It sounds familiar."Wang: "Oh, Ghostface." (pause) "Ghostface Killah, uh, Killer. From Wu-Tang?"Jessica: "...?"Wang: "Why are you looking at me like that?"Jessica: "I figured you for more an Allman Brothers type guy. Maybe Hall and Oates."Wang: "You know what I always hated as a kid? Getting Almond Joys or Mounds as a kid on Halloween. Did ANYONE like those?"She, indeed, shared my hatred of the Almond Joy. (+2 charisma)-----Jessica: "Soooo... where do you wanna go?"Wang: "I REALLY don't give a fuck."Wang: "Wait, that sounded mean. I just mean I don't care. At all. About where we eat."Wang: "So wherever you wanna eat, is what I mean. Anywhere is fine."Jessica: "Okay. Uh, how about Don Pablo's?"Wang: "I really hate Don Pablo's. How about like Applebee's?"Jessica: "Aaalright."(-2 Charisma, +2 weirdo)-----Jessica: "So, when did you finish school?"Wang: "Actually, I dropped out."Jessica: (laughs, as if at a particularly silly joke)Wang: "No, no. I'm serious. I dropped out a few years ago, actually."Jessica: "What? YOU dropped out of college? Weren't you a huge book nerd in highschool?"Wang: "First off, there's no such thing as a book nerd. And, yes, I was. But I was a bit of an oversleeping-and-partying nerd in college."Jessica: "So you're a screwup?"Wang: "Well, I mean, I gu-"Jessica: "No, it's just that I always go out with screwups. I should've known."WAITRESS: "You guys ready to order?"Wang: "ABSOLUTELY."(-2 Intelligence, -1 Wisdom)-----Jessica: "So, where do you work?"Wang: "I KNEW this question was coming. I'm not a bum, okay?"Jessica: "Okay, then. So where do you work?"Wang: "Just promise me you believe me that I'm not a bum first, okay?"Jessica: "You don't have a job?"Wang: "No, but I'm not a bum. I have money."Jessica: "..."Wang: "I play cards."Jessica: "For a living? Like blackjack? You gamble?"Wang: "No no no, not gamble. Cards. Poker, like on TV?" (<---- I am such a retard)Jessica: "Isn't poker gambling?" Wang: "Well, not really. I mean, it's gambling, but there's not really any risk involved."Jessica: "So you never lose?"Wang: "No, I lose from time to time, bu-"Jessica: "Sounds like risk to me..."WAITRESS: "So, can I get you guys anything?"Wang: "ABSOLUTELY."(-2 Charisma, -10 Wealth, -4 Constitution)-----Even after tripping all these landmines I still did a pretty decent job of being kinda charming. I think she thought I was mysterious, and I'm pretty sure the fact that I looked a little like a loser worked out in my favor. She obviously has a loser fetish, and I fit right into that mold with my beard, hoodie, and my apparent inability to hold down a job/conversation. She had a few drinks at dinner, and poured a drink when we got back to her place, so she was a little drunk and libidinous.Unfortunately, I didn't have a condom on me (.... I know), so I had to settle for a very, very good blowjob. I tell you, this girl has sucked a lot- A LOT- of dick. If I lived here, I'd probably take a run at dating her. For the time being, though, I'll probably just try to get laid before driving back to Kalamazoo, and leave on good terms so I can continue this in the future.(+10 Strength)Points for Wang.Wang

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(Wang rocks back and forth on heels, whistles a little bit)Jessica: "...?"Wang: "Why are you looking at me like that?"Wang: "I REALLY don't give a fuck."Wang: "I really hate Don Pablo's. How about like Applebee's?"Jessica: "Aaalright."Jessica: "So you're a screwup?"Wang: "ABSOLUTELY."Wang: "No, but I'm not a bum. I have money."Jessica: "..." Like blackjack? You gamble?"Wang: "ABSOLUTELY."very, very good blowjob. I tell you, this girl has sucked a lot- A LOT- of dick. Wang
My personal favorites.... good jobliterally
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Even after tripping all these landmines I still did a pretty decent job of being kinda charming.
i give most of the credit to ghost.i can't sleep and need to go to bed.
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Jessica: "Hey, who is this? It sounds familiar."Wang: "Oh, Ghostface." (pause) "Ghostface Killah, uh, Killer. From Wu-Tang?"Jessica: "...?"Wang: "Why are you looking at me like that?"Jessica: "I figured you for more an Allman Brothers type guy. Maybe Hall and Oates."Wang: "You know what I always hated as a kid? Getting Almond Joys or Mounds as a kid on Halloween. Did ANYONE like those?"She, indeed, shared my hatred of the Almond Joy. (+2 charisma)
my favorite partif a guy said this to me he would have won me over easily
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I know, I know. I said I wasnt going to post...but cmon??

my favorite partif a guy said this to me he would have won me over easily
Why am I not surprised?And in other news...look at this most awesome 1 outer!*** HOLE CARDS ***Dealt to Lolli74 [4h 4s]dbstamp: folds fins10: folds Lolli74: raises 400 to 600theeeclone: folds HamletRiver: calls 600nguyen71: folds ujku25: folds txmike24: folds Phil2312: folds *** FLOP *** [Jd 3d 4c]Lolli74: bets 600HamletRiver: calls 600*** TURN *** [Jd 3d 4c] [6d]Lolli74: checks HamletRiver: bets 800Lolli74: raises 800 to 1600HamletRiver: calls 800*** RIVER *** [Jd 3d 4c 6d] [4d]Lolli74: bets 800HamletRiver: calls 800 and is all-in*** SHOW DOWN ***Lolli74: shows [4h 4s] (four of a kind, Fours)HamletRiver: shows [Jc Js] (a full house, Jacks full of Fours)Lolli74 collected 7500 from pot
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