I Called In Sick Today

[KDawgCometh 2]

I got overwhelmed and gave up.

this also seems to be jeffstrat's and MDG's attitudes towards sex

[mrdannyg 274]

your trying to say something here, but I can't figure out just what it is

You know, I'm kinda picking up on that too...

keep reading - i'm just hilarious and clever, not insulting. unless you are insulted by it, in which case its probably true.

[Napa_Don 688]

keep reading - i'm just hilarious and clever, not insulting. unless you are insulted by it, in which case its probably true.

No it's okay, whenver I think that you are mocking me I just remember that you're still a virgin.....heyoooooNo, i am smart enough to pick up on ur sarcasm. Currently 2 of 14 in my 2nd 180 man of the day

[KDawgCometh 2]

keep reading - i'm just hilarious and clever, not insulting. unless you are insulted by it, in which case its probably true.

you definetly missed out on my 12th level sarcasm. and btw, I'm not a douchebag, I'm just a douche, because u know what, a douchebag is a hygenic product and I take it as a compliment

[rocketpoker828 0]

I stopped watching... Score?

Romo just got picked off and the Giants scored.36-15 Giants.I'm not an NFL coach, but what the fuck was Parcells thinking?

[mrdannyg 274]

No it's okay, whenver I think that you are mocking me I just remember that you're still a virgin.....heyoooooNo, i am smart enough to pick up on ur sarcasm. Currently 2 of 14 in my 2nd 180 man of the day

hey i may be ugly and hate-filled but... what was that other thing you said?sweet, i'm going to come rail.

you definetly missed out on my 12th level sarcasm. and btw, I'm not a douchebag, I'm just a douche, because u know what, a douchebag is a hygenic product and I take it as a compliment

trust me, i know all about feminine hygenic products.

[CardWarfare 4]

36-15 Giants

Thank Dog.----I just finished off the remaining 9 Bud Selects I had, by myself, for no reason at all.I hate myself for so many reasons.

[speedz99 145]

Same here. Did I tell you guys about the photographic evidence of the story I told about how I fell face first onto concrete wearing nothing but my see through boxer shorts?

The bad news is that I prematurely blew my load right after reading this. The good news is that when you post the pictures I'll be able to use it as masterbatory material for at least three more rounds.

really, stories like these are what I look for. way too few and far between these days. I didn't even quote anything else. Boo.

I know...these kids have no idea what it means to be homosocial (and occasionally homopenetrational). I'm trying to think what other major things happened at the party...did I mention my one friend had on nothing but a speedo and fingertipless gloves for much of the event? Also I ate 6 chicken fingers that didn't belong to me and almost started a riot. And to top it off, the next morning after my buddy's girlfriend left his room me and our speedo wearing friend jumped in bed with him. She came back in the room to three grown men hanging out in bed under the covers talking about how the night went (and whether or not speedo guy's weinis would be falling off soon due to the rape). She was slightly amused, but mostly creeped out. She also mentioned that in the middle of the night she went downstairs to get a drink of water and I was spooning him very closely...but that's not my fault. It was a small pull out couch and all we had for warmth was a fitted sheet and each other.

you ever notice that the hairier the bush, the worse the smell? thats been my experience anyways.

Yes. The reason for this has something to do with geometry and a cotangent, but it's evading me at the moment. But for the record, he was saying this because it was incredibly wet, not because it was hairy (it was, in fact, sans pubes). That was how she was able to shove a limp D into her. A few times he tried to tell her it wasn't hard, but she wasn't paying attention. He gave it a good washing in the sink as soon as she was through with him.

[zimmer4141 0]

OK, I have thought of my Halloween Costume for this year.I will be Homer Simpson.Shave my head, White Collared shirt, 2 strips of paper where the 2 hairs are, blue jeans, black shoes. BRILLIANT!

[zimmer4141 0]

Well, you all are just bustling with things to say tonight.

[CardWarfare 4]

I'm liking Antonio Esfandiari more and more each episode of HSP I watch..Mike Matusow: "If they asked me, 'Who would you wanna be locked on an island with?' I said, 'With Daniel Negreanu, 'cuz we'd have a lot of fun together."Esfandiari: "Wow, do you know how gay that sounds?"

[MisterB 2]

I love the double post CdubHow are things?

[CardWarfare 4]

I love the double post CdubHow are things?

Meh I wasn't gonna do it, but I figured both threads were dead, so I'll double post and see who responds first. You are the winner sir.And things aren't too bad right now. I'm 3 days away from my vacation and I'm psyched as hell to play some live limit holdem up in Canada. I've only played NL live, since that's all the "cardrooms" around here spread.

[Napa_Don 688]

NICE JOB NAPA!!!

ty, ty2 180 mans playedfirst one - 3rdsecond - 1sti'm buyin this weekend, no ugly bi.tch beer for me!

[zimmer4141 0]

Just got another great costume idea. I have 2 large blue towels that I use. Pin them together, put some large bloodshot eyes on there, stick my body between, and I'm the biggest stoner cartoon character ever.Add that to my great high-pitched voice saying "You wanna get high?" and it's genius.

[zimmer4141 0]

So the fact that I'm getting no feedback either means that my ideas are absolutely awful, or that you are so amazed by the ruggedness of my costume ideas that you can't put into words how sexy I must appear right now.Yeah, I knew it was the later one. The former isn't even a consideration.

[rocketpoker828 0]

Either that, or everyone is sleeping/playing SNES emulators.Guess which one I'm doing.

[CardWarfare 4]

Daniel Alaei is really impressing me watching HSP... I missed a lot of the episodes where he got involved but he's pretty nasty..His girlfriend is also quite attractive.Also, if I were playing in this game, I think I'd be too busy masturbating looking at the waitresses to play

[mrdannyg 274]

Just got another great costume idea. I have 2 large blue towels that I use. Pin them together, put some large bloodshot eyes on there, stick my body between, and I'm the biggest stoner cartoon character ever.Add that to my great high-pitched voice saying "You wanna get high?" and it's genius.

i like the towelie one. homer is good too, but it'd have to be well done. if you're willing to put a decent effort into it, its a great one. even if you don't do **** for towelie, just grab a couple towels, tell people to remember to bring a towel and ask if they want to get high, and people don't even need to have seen the show.i just won another 18-man NLO8 $1.50 turbo. i really smoke these things. according to sharkscope my ROI is 201%, but i gotta ITM these like 80% of the time, and finish top two close to 50%.thrice i saw people fold preflop, getting better than 20:1, for less than 10% of their stacks, calling an all-in. unbelievable.

[MisterB 2]

1st break of an $11 rebuyIm at 18,116 Stack: largest 40391, smallest 480, average 8151 Your current position is 24 out of 347 During current Hold'em session you were dealt 61 hands and saw flop: - 5 out of 7 times while in big blind (71%) - 3 out of 7 times while in small blind (42%) - 13 out of 47 times in other positions (27%) - a total of 21 out of 61 (34%) Pots won at showdown - 8 of 9 (88%) Pots won without showdown - 311/21 flops seen I took down. Ive never been on such a heater in my life.Like this kind of heaterPokerStars No-Limit Hold'em Tourney, Big Blind is t50 (9 handed) Hand History Converter Tool from FlopTurnRiver.com (Format: FCP)UTG+1 (t2412)MP1 (t2790)MP2 (t1910)MP3 (t9445)CO (t3705)Button (t6435)SB (t1700)MisterB (t6315)UTG (t3208)Preflop: MisterB is BB with Q , Q . 1 fold, UTG+1 raises to t2412, 2 folds, MP3 calls t2412, 2 folds, SB calls t1675 (All-In), MisterB raises to t6315, MP3 folds.Flop: (t12839) 6 , 3 , 9 (3 players, 1 all-in)Turn: (t12839) K (3 players, 1 all-in)River: (t12839) 7 (3 players, 1 all-in)Final Pot: t12839Results in white below: SB has Kd Ks (three of a kind, kings). MisterB has Qc Qh (flush, king high). UTG+1 has 9h Qd (one pair, nines). Outcome: MisterB wins t12839.

[CardWarfare 4]

i like the towelie one. homer is good too, but it'd have to be well done. if you're willing to put a decent effort into it, its a great one. even if you don't do **** for towelie, just grab a couple towels, tell people to remember to bring a towel and ask if they want to get high, and people don't even need to have seen the show.i just won another 18-man NLO8 $1.50 turbo. i really smoke these things. according to sharkscope my ROI is 201%, but i gotta ITM these like 80% of the time, and finish top two close to 50%.thrice i saw people fold preflop, getting better than 20:1, for less than 10% of their stacks, calling an all-in. unbelievable.

NLO8 is a crazy person game. BTW, you're new sig makes me wet.Some of these conversations on HSP are pretty funny..Matusow: "It's probably the stakes. When I'm playin for something.... I play good."DN: "You're loud."MM: "I'm having fun."DN: "You really are loud." MM: "I'm havin fun though." DN: "You're a loud guy."MM: "You're a nice guy."DN: "Yeah, but you're a loud guy."

[mrdannyg 274]

NLO8 is a crazy person game. BTW, you're new sig makes me wet.

dude, that's just sick

[CardWarfare 4]

dude, that's just sick

BAHAHAHAHAHAHI didn't see that at first, but wow. You are more rugged then the Brawny paper towel guy.

[Jeepster80125 0]

home of the indignant virginsWow. That means that I qualify, right?

[ShakeZuma 585]

o yeah, for those that may be interested. I've started doing film reviews in the TV&Movies sectionalso, You may be a douchebag if you are like this guy in any way

that was funny.

The bad news is that I prematurely blew my load right after reading this. The good news is that when you post the pictures I'll be able to use it as masterbatory material for at least three more rounds. I know...these kids have no idea what it means to be homosocial (and occasionally homopenetrational). I'm trying to think what other major things happened at the party...did I mention my one friend had on nothing but a speedo and fingertipless gloves for much of the event? Also I ate 6 chicken fingers that didn't belong to me and almost started a riot. And to top it off, the next morning after my buddy's girlfriend left his room me and our speedo wearing friend jumped in bed with him. She came back in the room to three grown men hanging out in bed under the covers talking about how the night went (and whether or not speedo guy's weinis would be falling off soon due to the rape). She was slightly amused, but mostly creeped out. She also mentioned that in the middle of the night she went downstairs to get a drink of water and I was spooning him very closely...but that's not my fault. It was a small pull out couch and all we had for warmth was a fitted sheet and each other. Yes. The reason for this has something to do with geometry and a cotangent, but it's evading me at the moment. But for the record, he was saying this because it was incredibly wet, not because it was hairy (it was, in fact, sans pubes). That was how she was able to shove a limp D into her. A few times he tried to tell her it wasn't hard, but she wasn't paying attention. He gave it a good washing in the sink as soon as she was through with him.

you and your friends are really taking this homosocial thing to a whole new level. I'm not sure if I'm impressed or incredibly disturbed. I think a little of both. Which is good.Now was this swamp vag one of the strippers? I think thats how I remember you telling it. Anyways, that was a very bold move by her, I have to say. you get her number? and can I have it?