I Called In Sick Today

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

I'm not a public pee'r, but I did pee on some guys laundry pile in high school. House party, big pile behind the door, he was a tool, so screw it. At another house party in H.S. my buddy convinced me to steal some cd's from some guys house we didn't know. I'm not proud of that one. Oh well, I really like Queensryche at the time.I have a buddy, an undercover cop who pisses everywhere when drunk, he actually took a shit while sitting belly up to a bar in a strip club. Just hung his butt off the stool (no pun intended) and let it rip. True story

[dms26 3]

Dog thing=horrible. Nuff saidMatt1, with this tiki room thing, you couldn't be any gayer if you invited The San Francisco Maulers over to your house for a gang bang, you put two guys cocks in your mouth at once, backed up into another, jerked off two more, had one of them tea-bagging your head, filmed it, put it up on a new Facebook account, then ran and told all your internet friends about it by spamming new website on NWP and FCP, then had a fruity umbrella drink made with cum in one of your tiki mugs wearing a sweat soaked grass skirt.Thats all I'm saying

well done , classic. This may have even been #10K post worthy

I thought I could let it go, but I really can't...What the hell were you taking shots of that you puked after 5 of them and pissed in a hallway? Everclear?

from the way I read it he did power hour before but none of the others in room had. So he was probably 5-6 beers ahead of them.

I just had a great thought.What if Zimmer is that guy? The college friend everyone had that always got wasted and pissed in inappropriate places?Please be true.

there is only supposed to be one per group?

[kers2 0]

from the way I read it he did power hour before but none of the others in room had. So he was probably 5-6 beers ahead of them.

I think thats how everyone but Adam read it

[ajs510 122]

I think thats how everyone but Adam read it

Yeah, I get it now. When I was in college there was no such thing as "Power Hour" so I didn't know what it was. It was Century Club or nothing...

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

I think thats how everyone but Adam read it

you just made the list buddy

[ajs510 122]

you just made the list buddy

Bonus, he's in Syracuse so I won't even need an alibi!

[kers2 0]

you just made the list buddy

I feel dumb for asking this but, enlighten meEdit: Uh oh is Adam headed East on I-90 as we speak?

[dms26 3]

Yeah, I get it now. When I was in college there was no such thing as "Power Hour" so I didn't know what it was. It was Century Club or nothing...

those kids now-a-days, they just can't handle the century club. We actually had a guy throw up about 18 minutes into a power hour once. He wasn't a freshman, we made fun of him for a long time.

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

I may either have to quit posting altogether, or drop the 10k retirement thing, because for the life of me, I can't think of a brilliant alter ego to start posting with.

[kers2 0]

I may either have to quit posting altogether, or drop the 10k retirement thing, because for the life of me, I can't think of a brilliant alter ego to start posting with.

Stan_Canada just doesnt have the same ring to it

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

I mean, how can I top the subtle brilliance of Ron_Mexico? I can't. It didn't pigeon hole me, like a movie character or public figure would. I'm just....at a loss.

[dms26 3]

I may either have to quit posting altogether, or drop the 10k retirement thing, because for the life of me, I can't think of a brilliant alter ego to start posting with.

I would say Marcus Vick but that would suck and he's going to be bagging groceries in a few months anyway

[ajs510 122]

I may either have to quit posting altogether, or drop the 10k retirement thing, because for the life of me, I can't think of a brilliant alter ego to start posting with.

I'd shitcan the whole retirement idea immediately, but that's just me. I'm a quitter.You'll never top Ron Mexico though, to try would be futile.

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

I would say Marcus Vick but that would suck and he's going to be bagging groceries in a few months anyway

yeah, 10-22don't get me wrong, his escapibility and speed in the open field is unreal, and he has a rocket for an arm, but I think something is missing up top, and seriously, I'm not saying that because he's black. But if you say he's not deep enough to get beyond his athleticism and become a thinking man's QB, you are deemed a racist. There are many atheletes in the NFL, and he's one of the best, but you gotta have more than that to QB a team. QB's aren't your best atheletes, they bring something else to the table.Just read that is said Marcus....so nevermind

[Dub2131 0]

I would say Marcus Vick but that would suck and he's going to be pulling gats on kids in fast food parking lots in a few months anyway

FYP.I could've also went with stomping on calves, smoking weed while speeding, or slipping roofies to teeny-boppers, but I desperately wanted to use "gats" in a post.

[kers2 0]

FYP.I could've also went with stomping on calves, smoking weed while speeding, or slipping roofies to teeny-boppers, but I desperately wanted to use "gats" in a post.

Get this man a drink!!

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

I'd shitcan the whole retirement idea immediately, but that's just me. I'm a quitter.You'll never top Ron Mexico though, to try would be futile.

yeah, I'm nearly ready to trash the idea, but I was serious, I was really turned off by this place, but I like you guys too much to leave, but I have been cutting back, which is good.I nearly stopped posting altogether then I found this place.

[ajs510 122]

yeah, I'm nearly ready to trash the idea, but I was serious, I was really turned off by this place, but I like you guys too much to leave, but I have been cutting back, which is good.I nearly stopped posting altogether then I found this place.

There's absolutely no way I'd still be posting here without the Sick Thread and the Hockey Forum. That much I know for certain.

[dms26 3]

yeah, 10-22don't get me wrong, his escapibility and speed in the open field is unreal, and he has a rocket for an arm, but I think something is missing up top, and seriously, I'm not saying that because he's black. But if you say he's not deep enough to get beyond his athleticism and become a thinking man's QB, you are deemed a racist. There are many atheletes in the NFL, and he's one of the best, but you gotta have more than that to QB a team. QB's aren't your best atheletes, they bring something else to the table.Just read that is said Marcus....so nevermind

haha halfway down I was wondering if you were talking about Michael of Marcus, I agree with you though and we've argued about it in the army thread. He's a great athlete not so much a great QB.

FYP.I could've also went with stomping on calves, smoking weed while speeding, or slipping roofies to teeny-boppers, but I desperately wanted to use "gats" in a post.

bustin caps in that ass would have been acceptable too

[Napa_Don 688]

So the plan for tonight is to get completly sh.it faced on Coronas and Keystone Light and maybe some hard liquor in between. Just thought I'd give you guys a heads up so you can fervously anticipate the arrival of drunk Napa later tonight.

[speedz99 145]

I nearly stopped posting altogether then I found this place.

I had pretty much stopped posting on FCP until I was summoned here.

[MisterB 2]

When I read Ron Mexicos post about what his alter ego could be I immediately thought Michael Vick then you all are quicker than me and said MarcusBest Guess?Orange Juice

[Ouch-8s 4]

Ouch doesn't really have a good first-person pee story from College days, however, I did have a friend who really really didn't like his housemate by the end of the year. So he came home late one night, 'really drunk', wandered into her bedroom which was next door to the bathroom, sidled up to her desk, and unzipped. According to her, his opening the door woke her up but she didn't say anything at first. Then once she realized that he was pissing all over her classnotes, textbooks, and brand-new computer, she screamed at him "What are you doing!!!" Apparently, he turned to her and asked "Why are you in the bathroom with me?" in his drunken voice. Without stopping his stream. He pissed all over her and her bed. He really didn't like her too, and I was never convinced that he was all that drunk, assuming he had had anything to drink at all...

[zimmer4141 0]

I thought I could let it go, but I really can't...What the hell were you taking shots of that you puked after 5 of them and pissed in a hallway? Everclear?

Note: I did 5 shots after having a beer, and doing a power hour where I consumed 7 more.

I just had a great thought.What if Zimmer is that guy? The college friend everyone had that always got wasted and pissed in inappropriate places?Please be true.

I might be that guy. And man would that be glorious.

[speedz99 145]

Apparently, he turned to her and asked "Why are you in the bathroom with me?" in his drunken voice. Without stopping his stream. He pissed all over her and her bed.

People drunk enough to piss in a room by accident are never coherant enough to answer questions like that. I have so many pissing/shitting stories...I wouldn't know where to start. I had a friend that pissed in his own room under his roomates bed, another that pissed in a pizza oven at a bar, one that took a shit in his own room and avoided going home the next day because he couldn't remember where it was and didn't want to look for it (obviously when he found it we lit it on fire in front of another friend's room).