speedz99 145 Posted September 15, 2006 Share Posted September 15, 2006 I'm seriously considering goin to this game to tailgateDid anyone else just picture the avatar goat hanging out at a tailgate? Link to post Share on other sites
mk 11 Posted September 15, 2006 Share Posted September 15, 2006 I'm seriously considering goin to this game to tailgate It could be dangerous. I haven't been on a 36-hour bender in a while. Link to post Share on other sites
Napa_Don 688 Posted September 15, 2006 Share Posted September 15, 2006 Did anyone else just picture the avatar goat hanging out at a tailgate?am a simple goatI live on the back of a pick-up truckThe Old Man tied me here with a 3-foot ropeAm I happy he don't give a ****He's filled with anger, and filled with rageAnd tells me I smell like pissHis drink, Jimmy BeanHis chaser, a bearAfter that, various alcoholsThat's when the beatings get so severeAsleep I pray he fallsBut don't feel sorry for meThings weren't always this badWhy, when I was a young talking goatThe Old Man was just like my dadI come from the hills of EuropeThat's where I met the Old ManHe was lost in the woods, I gave him directionsHe gave me a tuna canThen he stopped in his tracksAnd he said, "Hey Goat!Would you like to live with me?I've got a house with a pick-up truckIn a place across the sea"I said, "Sure, why not, I've got no familyYou seem like a nice guy"So we went off to AmericaThe home of the apple pieOn the boat, the Old Man told meI would be a present for his wife"A talking goat!" he exclaimed,"She'd never seen this in her life"I felt so special!Well, I just couldn't believe itAfter all theses years I finally had a friendHe trimmed my beardHe scraped my hoovesI prayed it would never endBut when we got to his houseThere was no wifeOnly a short, short letterIt said: "I'm leaving you for your broherBecause he ****s me better"His eyes filled with tears of sadnessHis heart was filled with griefTo soothe himself he drank a pint of Old GranddadAnd beat me like a side of beefI screamed, "Send me back to the hills of Europe!"He just shook his head and said, "Nope!No one will ever leave me againTo make sure, put on this 3-foot ****ing rope."Present day, I've been on the truck for 51 yearsMy only friend is the AM radioSometimes the neighborhood children stop byBut it's always rocks and beer bottles they throwAt first they're excited to see a talking goatThey gather around to hear what I have to sayBut I guess sometimes my stories go ont too longSo they leave and giggle I need a bidetBut you know there was a night that I did get off the truckWhen the Old Man was passed out drunkThree neightborhood kids took me to a rock 'n roll concertThe kind of music, old-school funkIt was the first time I got off the truckThe music made me lose controlThe lead singer asked if we were having funI said, "****ing crank that rock 'n roll!"The women at the show were beautifulAs they danced sexily on the soft grassOne of them even petted my fur**** me in the goat-***!Then some long-haired guys grabbed me by the hornsAnd threw me in the mosh pitThey passed me around and treated me nieTill I nerviously sprayed them with ****Then the music stoppedAnd everything was quiteAnd all the rock 'n rollers started a ****ing goat-riotKill the goat!Kill the goat!Kill the goat!Kill the goat!They chased me under the bleachersThey chased me onto the streetThey chased me into an alleyAnd said I was a dead ****ing goat meatBut then I saw a sightThat I never thought I'd seeThe Old Man swinging his hickory stickBut he wasn't swinging at me"**** you, pot-smoking turkeys!Don't you press your luck!"The long hairs ran away screamingAs I scrambled onto the truckWhen we got home, the Old Man said,"Goat, you broke the sacred lawNo! Please! Sorry! ****!I'll let it go this time, but if you leave againI'll break your ****ing jaw!"Super! Great! Okay!"Thank you Old Man, for saving my lifeThank you again and againYou could have let them barbeque me,But you acted like a friend""I'm not your friend, I don't even like youI'm just not drunk," he saidTo prove his point, he drank a bottle of grain alcoholAnd beat the ****ing **** out of my tailboneAnd I'll probably never walk straight againI guess you'd call me a scapegoatA punching bag for the Old Man to mockJust because his wife left himFor his brother's abnormally large ****He could have been my buddyBut instead he's a crazy old ****And, once again, I go to sleep in my eternal homeThe back of the pick-up truckGoodnight, Old Man!Yeah, goodnight Goat! Link to post Share on other sites
mrdannyg 274 Posted September 15, 2006 Share Posted September 15, 2006 Either that or he'll start an online journal about the fact that he never gets sexed.so good-looking that i'm going to think about it/you in the shower Link to post Share on other sites
Dub2131 0 Posted September 15, 2006 Share Posted September 15, 2006 goat song...so the old man is like "put your dukes up" and I'm like "hey I'm a goat, I got no f'ing dukes." Link to post Share on other sites
Naked_Cowboy 0 Posted September 15, 2006 Share Posted September 15, 2006 it says you're live everyone else hereEither that or he'll start an online journal about the fact that he never gets sexed.Seriously...I broke out the smilie for a reason. This was just absolutely horrible to do to a dog. 36 hours locked in a bathroom? Wow.I told her to take him to be boarded, but she had so much to do it was either that or miss her plane. It was probably closer to 30 hours, but I made sure to give him lots of attention before I went to bed. Link to post Share on other sites
speedz99 145 Posted September 15, 2006 Share Posted September 15, 2006 I told her to take him to be boarded, but she had so much to do it was either that or miss her plane. It was probably closer to 30 hours, but I made sure to give him lots of attention before I went to bed.Yeah, shit happens. You can actually pay pet sitting services like $25/day to stop by your place and walk/play with the dog for a while.Look, all I'm saying is that she's a horrible person, and you should be careful when you have kids. They also should not be left alone in a bathroom for 30 hours.At least she's hot. Link to post Share on other sites
ajs510 122 Posted September 15, 2006 Share Posted September 15, 2006 My fiance' was playing poker on Stars last night, and in between hands she was highlighting all the other players information, seeing where they were from:"Rochester, San Diego, Dallas, Parts Unknown...where's Tuck-son?"LOL...she's so much smarter than I am, but such a total blonde sometimes. Yeah, shit happens. You can actually pay pet sitting services like $25/day to stop by your place and walk/play with the dog for a while.Look, all I'm saying is that she's a horrible person, and you should be careful when you have kids. They also should not be left alone in a bathroom for 30 hours.At least she's hot.And she puts out now...bonus! Link to post Share on other sites
speedz99 145 Posted September 15, 2006 Share Posted September 15, 2006 My fiance' was playing poker on Stars last night, and in between hands she was highlighting all the other players information, seeing where they were from:"Rochester, San Diego, Dallas, Parts Unknown...where's Tuck-son?"LOL...she's so much smarter than I am, but such a total blonde sometimes.My girlfriend is the same way. She's smarter than me, but there are always a few times a day when I can assert my superior street smarts/common sense. Once in a while she admits that she likes that I make her feel stupid sometimes. Go figure.And if you put the apostrophe after "fiance" again I'll bitch slap you right through the computer. We all know how to pronounce the word. Link to post Share on other sites
ajs510 122 Posted September 15, 2006 Share Posted September 15, 2006 And if you put the apostrophe after "fiance" again I'll bitch slap you right through the computer. We all know how to pronounce the word.Blow' Me'I know you really want to put a Touche' here, so I'm beating your ass to it. Link to post Share on other sites
mrdannyg 274 Posted September 15, 2006 Share Posted September 15, 2006 MDG, i think i missed that, but are you saying your male roomate had a guy over and he left at 10am?thanks for being quiet though...so the old man is like "put your dukes up" and I'm like "hey I'm a goat, I got no f'ing dukes."i've been quoting that album constantly lately. i need to download it or something.and since it's a female, it should be fiancee, with or without an apostrophe. sheez. Link to post Share on other sites
Naked_Cowboy 0 Posted September 15, 2006 Share Posted September 15, 2006 Look, all I'm saying is that she's a horrible person, and you should be careful when you have kids. They also should not be left alone in a bathroom for 30 hours.At least she's hot.And irish, so hopefully our kids will hold their liquor better than me. Link to post Share on other sites
speedz99 145 Posted September 15, 2006 Share Posted September 15, 2006 POWBought in $50 to $100 PLO8.Wait a few orbits...get QQJJ on the button and follow a few limpers. Q92 flop with two hearts. Check to me, I pot. One call then a pot raise. Another call to me...I go all in and get two callers.Turns out three of us hit sets on the flop. I didn't even have to dodge a heart.Triple ups are fun. Of course now I'll probably lose it all since I wrote this... Link to post Share on other sites
MisterB 2 Posted September 15, 2006 Share Posted September 15, 2006 thanks for being quiet thoughSorry, next time ill make sure hes gone before youre up. And pull the seat up please, no more piddle Link to post Share on other sites
Naked_Cowboy 0 Posted September 15, 2006 Share Posted September 15, 2006 POWBought in $50 to $100 PLO8.Wait a few orbits...get QQJJ on the button and follow a few limpers. Q92 flop with two hearts. Check to me, I pot. One call then a pot raise. Another call to me...I go all in and get two callers.Turns out three of us hit sets on the flop. I didn't even have to dodge a heart.Triple ups are fun. Of course now I'll probably lose it all since I wrote this...so play tight for a round or two and leave, then start at another table with winnings? Link to post Share on other sites
KDawgCometh 2 Posted September 15, 2006 Share Posted September 15, 2006 I agree he didn't get laid, but I doubt a 17 year old virgin has enough game to talk to a college girl that is old enough to go to the bar or experienced enough to have a fake ID.this is very true, but its a start for him. What we should do is create an over/under pool on when he gets laid Link to post Share on other sites
Naked_Cowboy 0 Posted September 15, 2006 Share Posted September 15, 2006 this is very true, but its a start for him. What we should do is create an over/under pool on when he gets laidI take the over. Link to post Share on other sites
KDawgCometh 2 Posted September 15, 2006 Share Posted September 15, 2006 It could be dangerous. I haven't been on a 36-hour bender in a while.pfffft, 36 hrs is nothing. you shouldn't have a problem. my birthday week I was on a 5 day bender and the weekend before the world cup finals I was on a 3 day drug/alcohol binge. They're fun Link to post Share on other sites
speedz99 145 Posted September 15, 2006 Share Posted September 15, 2006 so play tight for a round or two and leave, then start at another table with winnings?Maybe...I'm not sure. I hate deciding about when to run away with the profits.All I know is that recently it seems my game is very well suited for the mid buy-in PLO8 games. I play really tight and they all seem to love throwing chips around and never giving me credit for a hand. Link to post Share on other sites
RhinestoneCowboy 2 Posted September 15, 2006 Share Posted September 15, 2006 this is very true, but its a start for him. What we should do is create an over/under pool on when he gets laidDon't take what I said the wrong way, if he is going to be getting any it will most likely be a 18 or 19 year old that can't go to the bar... Link to post Share on other sites
mrdannyg 274 Posted September 15, 2006 Share Posted September 15, 2006 Sorry, next time ill make sure hes gone before youre up. And pull the seat up please, no more piddlespeaking of, there's always little remnants of crap in the toilet. i think he douches his *** or gives himself enemas or something. something weird.cowboy - the title is a bit off, though well-intentioned. should be something more like "oh, you mean in the hammock district" or "try marlene's on 4th" but i don't know the exact lines.alright, off to study for the day. party tonight at the opening of a bar, so i should get pretty drunk.laterz y'all Link to post Share on other sites
KDawgCometh 2 Posted September 15, 2006 Share Posted September 15, 2006 Don't take what I said the wrong way, if he is going to be getting any it will most likely be a 18 or 19 year old that can't go to the bar...I definetly agree. You'd have to be casanova to get a girl who is 21+ to stay and fuck you when the bars are always an option Link to post Share on other sites
speedz99 145 Posted September 15, 2006 Share Posted September 15, 2006 Holy crap. Just flopped a 3-7 straight and stacked someone who hit top set with no low. Up from $50 to $230 now.This is kind of a big deal for me. I better stop soon...or should I? Link to post Share on other sites
RhinestoneCowboy 2 Posted September 15, 2006 Share Posted September 15, 2006 Holy crap. Just flopped a 3-7 straight and stacked someone who hit top set with no low. Up from $50 to $230 now.This is kind of a big deal for me. I better stop soon...or should I?If that is a big deal hit and run. Take the money and buy yourself a new tiki mug. Link to post Share on other sites
Naked_Cowboy 0 Posted September 15, 2006 Share Posted September 15, 2006 Hammocks? My goodness, what an idea. Why didn't I think of that? Hammocks! Homer, there's four places. There's the Hammock Hut, that's on third. There's Hammocks-R-Us, that's on third too. You got Put-Your-Butt-There? That's on third. Swing Low, Sweet Chariot... Matter of fact, they're all in the same complex; it's the hammock complex on third.I was close... by far one of the best simpsons episodes of all time imo Link to post Share on other sites
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