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I Called In Sick Today


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and after 3 days, he is risen!

If you are paying $20 for a haircut, I imagine people assume you did it yourself anyway.

Pocket change cost me my first and only black girlfriend.   It was in the middle of a roaring poker boom and I was flush in ways most men don't even bother dreaming of. Money, it was like dirt to me

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It's become apparent that today is officially "pick on Lori day". Nice, I was hoping I'd get my very own holiday, thanks for making that possible.
I'd like to point out that I haven't picked on you once today. I think I deserve a BJ or six.
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It's become apparent that today is officially "pick on Lori day". Nice, I was hoping I'd get my very own holiday, thanks for making that possible.
you know it's all in good fun. i'm just really bored and all the jokes about everyone else are played. habs has hott man calves; ron likes the yankees; danny/jeff/bizzle are real gay, not e-gay; speedz is tiki-gay; idaho buys motorcycles; adam likes hockey; blah, blah, blah.
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You know where I live...I'll check to see if the neighborhood whore is home. (Does every neighborhood have one of these or am I just lucky?)
Thanks, but I think I'll take a pass on my turn to ride the village bicycle.
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Hey, you guys have your embarassing "I couldn't seal the deal" stories, I have my "Sex is awesome while using blow" stories.
Yeah? Well ours are funnier (and much sadder). Pfft. Bitch.
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Hey, you guys have your embarassing "I couldn't seal the deal" stories, I have my "Sex is awesome while using blow" stories.
I have "I couldn't seal the deal while using blow" stories...
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I feel like I've accomplished something today. I've (in the span of three hours):-Went to class (w/o being coerced)-Took a nap-Read for class-Organized my iTunesI'm deserving of a BJ. Is Matt1 here?

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I feel like I've accomplished something today. I've (in the span of three hours):-Went to class (w/o being coerced)-Took a nap-Read for class-Organized my iTunesI'm deserving of a BJ. Is Matt1 here?
Um...hi. Before we get started, you should know that I'm a biter.
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Um...hi. Before we get started, you should know that I'm a biter.
God dammit.In other non e-gay news, I have to go to class, so I'm out.
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Come here you, I'll speak in an Aussie accent if it makes you feel better
In honor of your new avatar, I would love for you to talk in only Jay-Z quotes but that would rob everyone else of laughter
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Also, is anyone else sick of this fucking toolbag Nobles on the WSOP coverage?Edit: Aaaaaaaaaaand he sucks out again with a horrid call vs. Danzer's KK
Yes.
Oh, my random highlight of the weekend. There are 2 girls in our class in our house. Both are attractive, especially by U of M standards. One of them had their boyfriend from high school up for the night on Sunday. Typical football guy, super competitive, and thinks he's the greatest at ping pong. We play, and I beat him 3 games straight when we were sober. We take a break, and he wants a rematch when I'm about 7 beers deep. I go down, and kick his ass twice more when I was pretty drunk.
Still no sex.
Next time I'm due for a sig change, this is it... nh.
Thank you.
everyone please look at and acknowledge mewhy are you all looking at me?
Funny.
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In honor of your new avatar, I would love for you to talk in only Jay-Z quotes but that would rob everyone else of laughter
It would also be pretty tough, since 98% of Jay-Z lyrics just talk about how awesome he is, which really wouldn't fit in to many conversations all that well."Hey CW, what's up?""I check chedda like a food inspector""........."
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I just saw the greatest "This is SportsCenter" commercial of all time. It involved Peyton and Eli Manning. I wont ruin it

It would also be pretty tough, since 98% of Jay-Z lyrics just talk about how awesome he is, which really wouldn't fit in to many conversations all that well."Hey CW, what's up?""I check chedda like a food inspector""........."
... Hilarity ensues!The genius of it all
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