I Called In Sick Today

[Habs Fan 0]

it's waaaaaaayyyyyy to quiet in heresome one needs to tell a funny story or something

Okay this one time me and some friends rented a cabin up north in the winter.We all decided to go for a walk and build a snowman. We were pretty drunk slash high so the snowman was not your typical frosty.We made huge cans on it. They were the perfect breastsicles. We gave him a bunch of details, facial features etc and of course...a huge cock.I'm talking Ron Jeremy hopped up on viagra. The thing was huge.Anyway we all thought this was pretty funny and it got alot funnier when my girlfriend dropped to her knees and blew the snowman. I actually have a pic of that, i'll post it next week.We made the expression on the snowmans face like he was getting head too.And just as the laughter subsided my dog came running up and, in one fell swoop, bit his snowcock right off.My knees literally buckled and I laid on the ground doubled over in laughter for a good 20 minutes.Those were some good times.

[dEv~ 19]

i'm moving into my first new place tomorrow. anybody have tips for what i should be looking for during the walkthrough?

Wow, that's creepy. So am I.

[turd ferguson 1]

I started catching up, but you fuckers put up ten pages. Jeebus! Anwyay, I talked to Hobbes this morning, and he's having girl. I can't wait to see her on a horse in eighteen years. Her name is Kiana Naomi. God damn Asians.

Caleb- Loved the 9/11 thread. Did you get another warning this time?

No official warning this time. I was a little disappointed.

I didn't know your husband plays poker with you.

Post of the mother fucking day. I knew I loved you for a reason.

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

Peter's tranny John Bobbitt snowman story

You crazy Canadians

[Habs Fan 0]

You crazy Canadians

That's a great title. I know the only part you will remember is 'I have a pic'

[missIdaho 1]

How do you know when some one is having way too much fun in Vegas?When they drunk dial you at 11am. Yikes.

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

How do you know when some one is having way too much fun in Vegas?When they drunk dial you at 11am. Yikes.

you know Jamie Gold?

[missIdaho 1]

you know Jamie Gold?

:snicker, snicker:

[Habs Fan 0]

you know Jamie Gold?

Tell him he's a fucking HACK

[missIdaho 1]

I forgot to mention that this past weekend, at the poker game I hosted, one of my friends flopped quad aces. It was awesome. We talked about that hand for the rest of the night. Could you imagine having your aces over queens fullhouse beat by quad aces?

[Habs Fan 0]

BLIZKRIEG BUMP OLD THREADS TO PUT COUCH ON PAGE 3.Who's with me?

[RhinestoneCowboy 2]

BLIZKRIEG BUMP OLD THREADS TO PUT COUCH ON PAGE 3.Who's with me?

Reporting for duty sir.

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

I forgot to mention that this past weekend, at the poker game I hosted, one of my friends flopped quad aces. It was awesome. We talked about that hand for the rest of the night. Could you imagine having your aces over queens fullhouse beat by quad aces?

ummm, thats impossible unless you're using the 5 ace deckedit: 3 aces on the flop, one in the pocket. carry on, nothing to see here.

[BunkerWeiss 0]

you know Jamie Gold?

I know Tracey Gold.......we dated in between her anorexia bout and her DUI; I guess she missed me. I let her call me Mike Seaver in bed, which isnt as far off as you might imagine; in exchange I could call her Missy. You see I always enjoyed Benson, though looking back it may not have been her sister, I just like the name Guillaume.

[Bizzle 0]

ummm, thats impossible unless you're using the 5 ace deck

Yeah, because having QQ on an AAA board means you don't have aces over queens.

[turd ferguson 1]

I forgot to mention that this past weekend, at the poker game I hosted, one of my friends flopped quad aces. It was awesome. We talked about that hand for the rest of the night. Could you imagine having your aces over queens fullhouse beat by quad aces?

About a month ago I had AA vs my friend's 77. Flop-AA7 Turn-4 River-7. Ouch.

[Mr Simpleton 0]

I forgot to mention that this past weekend, at the poker game I hosted, one of my friends flopped quad aces. It was awesome. We talked about that hand for the rest of the night. Could you imagine having your aces over queens fullhouse beat by quad aces?

Prahalad Friedman vs. Chris Ferguson.....but otherwise, I can't imagine. I'm completely stunned.Edit: Ferguson may have turned the fourth A, but, you know.

[ajs510 122]

About a month ago I had AA vs my friend's 77. Flop-AA7 Turn-4 River-7. Ouch.

I remember quads, they're fun. Haven't seen them around lately though...

[therrinn 0]

I forgot to mention that this past weekend, at the poker game I hosted, one of my friends flopped quad aces. It was awesome. We talked about that hand for the rest of the night. Could you imagine having your aces over queens fullhouse beat by quad aces?

I'm lucky in that I've never lost with quads, but I have beat quads numerous times. I love when they push all in into my royal flushes

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

Yeah, because having QQ on an AAA board means you don't have aces over queens.

read my edit quickdraw mcgrawgrease up, throw on your speedo and lmg

[tyfgine 0]

My friends band, Wilderness Survival, was nominated for another award for this years San Diego Music Awards. Since he won the best new artist last year, and is up for another award this year, this local magazine is doing an article on his band. They needed a picture for the cover of the magazine, so we sent them this awesome shot:

[Ouch-8s 4]

Catch-up takes a while today. Good laughs several times since last night, good work everyone.

I didn't know your husband plays poker with you.

I would have mentioned this if you hadn't beat me to the punch already.{invisible writing colour}I'm still not completely comfortable with the joking, but that pun is a knockout.{IWC}

The reason to shove preflop there is to reopen the betting to Alan so hopefully he can isolate and provide some protection.

So apparently the casino near me has a rule that states if you have already checked your action, you cannot raise another player's all-in bet (to eliminate providing protection I assume). Is this a common rule? I've never heard of it.

Lesbian porn is hot...as long as the lesbains aren't real lesbians

FYP

"You see, I happen to play a lot of online poker. But anyhoo, the possibility that online poker is, in some way, 'fixed' or 'rigged' has been mentioned and discussed ad nauseum in online poker forums (several of which I am a frequent contributor to), even to the point where the word 'rigged' has become a punchline that needs no joke!! Several of my online friends and I decided the word 'rigged' was, in fact, overused as an out-of-context word of hilarity, and thus we replaced it with 'broccoli' instead. So you see, instead of saying 'online poker is rigged' we now would say, 'online poker is broccoli'!!!! How hilarious is that??

I CANNOT believe no-one commented on this. It is the POTY, quoted into a POTD. So ridiculously good looking.

mk: yeah, can you believe Bizzle just busted on the bubble with KQo?jj: Bizzle, what? who?

This one is pretty damn funny too.

I'd love a Big Mac Meal supersized10 piece chicken mcnuggets3bbq sauces for dipping the fries indiet coke

Seriously, I suppose for some crazy reason you may prefer the taste, but this still cracks me up.

out roaming the boards, wanted to read your shenanigans

Start at the begining, write a haiku, you know the drill...

[RhinestoneCowboy 2]

bump

bitch

[speedz99 145]

Post of the mother fucking day. I knew I loved you for a reason.

I knew you'd like that one.In other news, I have now eaten meatloaf with mac & cheese for 5 of my last 6 meals.

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

My friends band, Wilderness Survival, was nominated for another award for this years San Diego Music Awards. Since he won the best new artist last year, and is up for another award this year, this local magazine is doing an article on his band. They needed a picture for the cover of the magazine, so we sent them this awesome shot:

goood godI must become a roadie for this band, immediately