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I Called In Sick Today


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If you are paying $20 for a haircut, I imagine people assume you did it yourself anyway.

and after 3 days, he is risen!

Pocket change cost me my first and only black girlfriend.   It was in the middle of a roaring poker boom and I was flush in ways most men don't even bother dreaming of. Money, it was like dirt to me

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I'm on a diet too. It's my customary pre-Vegas diet. So I have eliminated my usual trips to Coldstone's and Starbucks each afternoon. So if I seem a bitchy, now you know why.
Likewise, hence I'm eating a little salad for lunch instead of making the trip to McDonalds or Taco Bell. Started walking last night, we're going to try to take the dogs out every night after work. I'd like to drop 15 pounds or so before Vegas at the end of the month, whether that's attainable or not remains to be seen. I can drop 10 pounds in a week, I know that for a fact. Whether they can stay off or not I'll leave to Randy and his Diet Theory 101.
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Likewise, hence I'm eating a little salad for lunch instead of making the trip to McDonalds or Taco Bell. Started walking last night, we're going to try to take the dogs out every night after work. I'd like to drop 15 pounds or so before Vegas at the end of the month, whether that's attainable or not remains to be seen. I can drop 10 pounds in a week, I know that for a fact. Whether they can stay off or not I'll leave to Randy and his Diet Theory 101.
I actually don't really need to lose any weight, but earlier this year I dropped a bunch of weight in an unhealthy way and have slowly been gaining it back. I've only gained half of it back and I am now at my doctor recommended healthy weight, but I think if I drop just 5 lbs I'll look even better in my vegas clothes. This time I am also planning on having eyebrows.
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I'd like to drop 15 pounds or so before Vegas at the end of the month, whether that's attainable or not remains to be seen. I can drop 10 pounds in a week, I know that for a fact. Whether they can stay off or not I'll leave to Randy and his Diet Theory 101.
The problem with dropping 10 pounds in a week is that your body goes into effectively starvation mode. It won't think that you're dieting - it'll think that you can't get enough food, and it'll take precautions against this lack of food, including slowing your metabolism, at which point it will be very hard for you to lose any more weight/keep this weight off. Also, to drop 10 pounds in a week you're looking at a calorie deficit of 35k - definitely not healthy at all, and you'll lose muscle mass.
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so i should put holes in the wall to expose the electrical wires and look for dead bodies? done. any more?
Make sure the toilet flushes, make sure they re-calked the tub, make sure all your phone jacks are real and not fake.Now I am off to McD's...
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The problem with dropping 10 pounds in a week is that your body goes into effectively starvation mode. It won't think that you're dieting - it'll think that you can't get enough food, and it'll take precautions against this lack of food, including slowing your metabolism, at which point it will be very hard for you to lose any more weight/keep this weight off. Also, to drop 10 pounds in a week you're looking at a calorie deficit of 35k - definitely not healthy at all, and you'll lose muscle mass.
You're like a weight loss Yoda...interesting stuff. I don't really know how it happened the last time I dieted, but I literally dropped 10 pounds in 7 days from just eating an average dinner and nothing else. My average eating schedule could use a 35k calorie deficit, trust me. Here's what I ate on Tuesday-Wednesday, just to give you a glimpse into how the fat kid got fat:Tuesday morning - Bacon, Egg, and Cheese biscuit from McDonalds, 3 Hash browns. Tuesday afternoon - Turkey, Bacon and Cheese sandwich from Applebees, order of french friesTuesday late afternoon - I can't be sure, but I think I skipped dinner because I went to Turning Stone to play some poker. Tuesday evening (after poker) - Personal size gas station pepperoni pizza, Cherry Coke. Tuesday evening (after the 2 hour drive home) - Half of a Friendlys 3 scoop Peanut Butter Cup Sundae. Wednesday morning - 2 strawberry Pop TartsWednesday late morning - Vending machine bag of pretzels, Vending maching bag of Skittles. Wednesday afternoon - 3/4 pound of pasta salad with mozzerella. Wednesday evening - A sizeable amount of the appetizers my family and I ordered before a concert, including probably 10 chicken wings w/ blue cheese, an order of cheese fries, a decent helping of nachos and some onion rings. Pretty gross, I know. I'm seriously ashamed of myself after looking at everything I just typed. Here's Thursday and (so far) Friday:Thursday morning - NothingThursday afternoon - Turkey sandwich with mayo and oilThursday night - Chicken salad made with as many light ingredients as possible (no-fat dressing, low-fat cheese, lots of Veggies)Friday morning - NothingFriday afternoon - Small garden salad, no dressing, no cheese, no bacon. Just vegetables and a few croutons with cubes of chicken breast.*Edit* The ten pound in 7 days dropoff was probably my body sighing from relief....
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Make sure the toilet flushes, make sure they re-calked the tub, make sure all your phone jacks are real and not fake.Now I am off to McD's...
That's a good one. When I bought my house I didn't check and ended up with two phone jacks that were connected to nothing.
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I think it's about time for a double quarter pounder with cheese meal.Caleb, I got off a good wife-beater joke last night you might like. I'd repost it now but Chris would yell at me.

chirp
Jeez...fine, nobody likes wife-beater jokes. Carry on with the chlorophyl.
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AJ,One of the important things that I did that helped me start losing weight was figure out just how many calories I was using during a day - without that information, it really is hard to know how much you need to be eating. (http://www.bodyforlife2.com/calorie_intake.htm)Oh, and the problem with just eating one meal is that your metabolism only gears up for that one period of time, i.e. after dinner. Eating a few small meals is the way to go, especially breakfast.

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I think it's about time for a double quarter pounder with cheese meal.Caleb, I got off a good wife-beater joke last night you might like. I'd repost it now but Chris would yell at me.Jeez...fine, nobody likes wife-beater jokes. Carry on with the chlorophyl.
wifebeater-706264.jpg
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I think it's about time for a double quarter pounder with cheese meal.Caleb, I got off a good wife-beater joke last night you might like. I'd repost it now but Chris would yell at me.Jeez...fine, nobody likes wife-beater jokes. Carry on with the chlorophyl.
ahem, Adam would be mad, I was making jokes as well. I posted a woman with a black eye and split lip
wifebeater-706264.jpg
when did DNA change his haircut?
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even my alter ego's alter ego is bored
ok, that made me laugh
I have good news.It's even funnier the second time.
describe it, I can't watch it here.
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