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I Called In Sick Today

turd ferguson

By turd ferguson,
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David_Sklansky

If you are paying $20 for a haircut, I imagine people assume you did it yourself anyway.

BigDMcGee

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AmScray

Pocket change cost me my first and only black girlfriend.   It was in the middle of a roaring poker boom and I was flush in ways most men don't even bother dreaming of. Money, it was like dirt to me

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Hobbes

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That's not strictly safe for work is it? Oh well, if you like that sort of thing.
Actually, I think some people have said we shouldn't be posting any pictures on here because of the work factor (sorry Chris, forgot about that). But if body paint is good enough for Sports Illustrated, it should be fine here.
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Ron_Mexico

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Why do I have to watch Good Will Hunting every time it's on tv?
watched some if it last night as well
Uh, I'm good.Rough times in the thread. Caleb is gone indefinitely, Tim is having lady troubles, and Chris is...well...hungry.
lick my recently unshaven balls
No offense, but our evenings together just aren't the same without a 3-way strip show.
wouldn't that have been a 4-way?
USA USA USA!!!!!!!!
If I can change, (dos vachia bladonia) and you can change (vesatania das bladonia) did some work this morning. going to do more now.
Actually, I think some people have said we shouldn't be posting any pictures on here because of the work factor (sorry Chris, forgot about that). But if body paint is good enough for Sports Illustrated, it should be fine here.
nah, its good, as long it isn't something you can scroll away from, like dueling sigs, when Speedz and Cardwar had. You couldn't get away from those two.Larry Brown is a genius. Probably gonna end up getting $40 million this time, got $7 million last time, just to go away.I really gotta look into this. First I need a job with a contract.
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Randy Reed

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I had to have lunch delivered since I can't drive and my lot guy called in sick. It was a tuna sub, but they should have called it, hint of tuna. If you smell the bread really hard it has a faint scent of being somewhere on the counter next to the container of tuna. bastages, if I could drive....On other news, why am I slowly becoming a soccer fan today? Go on..

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RhinestoneCowboy

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I had to have lunch delivered since I can't drive and my lot guy called in sick. It was a tuna sub, but they should have called it, hint of tuna. If you smell the bread really hard it has a faint scent of being somewhere on the counter next to the container of tuna. bastages, if I could drive....On other news, why am I slowly becoming a soccer fan today? Go on..
I find myself doing the same thing. I've never liked soccer before today really.
Save these comments so you can break them out again in 2010
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dms26

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It's not like any of us aren't going to know who won by the time it airs anyway. I'm just curious as to why they switched it around. Are they trying to gain more viewers for the lesser events by sucking them in with the big one? Also, one of the most entertaining broadcasts I've seen was when they aired the Razz final table a couple years ago.
then general public loves all-ins, you can't go all-in in Razz. It's sad but they show whatever gets the ratings.It was funny watching Boyd self destruct though
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Randy Reed

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The next call, about 5 minutes later, was from my Mother, calling to let me know that our family dog has liver failure and will have to be put to sleep this weekend. Pretty much killed any euphoria I was feeling about the house, Riley has been with us for 13 years and is very much a full member of the family. Gotta do what you gotta do though, you don't want your friends to suffer needlessly if there's nothing that can be done. We're told that this is not a pleasant way to go and he will decline pretty quickly. Very sad, I'm going over to their house tonight to say goodbye. Anyway, that's what's going on in Adamland right now.
Adam, don't be sad, soon he'll be chasing cars in doggie heaven.
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Naked_Cowboy

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then general public loves all-ins, you can't go all-in in Razz. It's sad but they show whatever gets the ratings.It was funny watching Boyd self destruct though
my wife said she thought the razz event was one of the most interesting WSOP she's seen. It's different and fun, especially when you have an event where you're guaranteed talent at the final table. I am in no way biased by my plans to play the razz event this year.
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ajs510

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Larry Brown is a genius. Probably gonna end up getting $40 million this time, got $7 million last time, just to go away.I really gotta look into this. First I need a job with a contract.
Seriously, why can't I get someone to hand me $40 million on my way out the door as a failure of an employee?
Adam, don't be sad, soon he'll be chasing cars in doggie heaven.
Your title makes me sad, makes me wish I knew where to find the guy.
Good MorningAny one want to have sex? I do !!!!!
(Insert Tastes Like Chicken Joke Here)
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Naked_Cowboy

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Good MorningAny one want to have sex? I do !!!!!
I had sex last night. That doesn't preclude me from wanting it right now, but the urgency is a little lower than normal.
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Randy Reed

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CLARENCE In "Jailhouse Rock" he's everything rockabilly's about. I mean he is rockabilly: mean, surly, nasty, rude. In that movie he couldn't give a fu ck about anything except rockin' and rollin', livin' fast, dyin' young, and leaving a good-looking corpse. I love that scene where after he's made it big he's throwing a big cocktail party, and all these highbrows are there, and he's singing, "Baby You're So Square... Baby, I Don't Care". Now, they got him dressed like a ****. He's wearing these stupid-lookin' pants, this horrible sweater. Elvis ain't no sweater boy. I even think they got him wearin' penny loafers. Despite all that ****, all the highbrows at the party, big house, the stupid clothes, he's still a rude-lookin' motherfu cker. I'd watch that hillbilly and I'd want to be him so bad. Elvis looked good. I'm no fag, but Elvis was good-lookin'. He was fu ckin' prettier than most women. I always said if I ever had to fu ck a guy... I mean had too 'cause my life depended on it... I'd fu ck Elvis.Lucy takes a drag from her cigarette.LUCY I'd fu ck Elvis.CLARENCE Really?LUCY When he was alive. I wouldn't fu ck him now.

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ajs510

ajs510 122

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His name is Sir Puggleston. Or if you prefer to use the shortened version that we generally use, Puggleston.
Or when he lifts his leg to the couch - "Hey Asshole!"Denis Leary naming his dog Asshole on Rescue Me was about the funniest thing ever.
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