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I Called In Sick Today


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"Sicilians are great liars. The best in the world. I'm a Sicilian. And my old man was the world heavyweight champion of Sicilian liars. And from growin' up with him I learned the pantomime. Now there are seventeen different things a guy can do when he lies to give him away. A guy has seventeen pantomimes. A woman's got twenty, but a guy's got seventeen. And if you know 'em like ya know your own face, they beat lie detectors to hell. What we got here is a little game of show and tell. You don't wanna show me nothin'. But you're tellin' me everything. Now I know you know where they are. So tell me, before I do some damage you won't walk away from."
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If you are paying $20 for a haircut, I imagine people assume you did it yourself anyway.

and after 3 days, he is risen!

Pocket change cost me my first and only black girlfriend.   It was in the middle of a roaring poker boom and I was flush in ways most men don't even bother dreaming of. Money, it was like dirt to me

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Nice, in case you hadn't noticed there's a void or two that needs filling around here.
If only I were an adequate subsititute for Caleb. Unfortunately I'm only half as much of a bitch as he is.
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Less motivated, yes. Still happy to help, but just with slightly less urgency.You said son, does that mean you know the sex of the baby and my hopes of my future trophy wife coming from your wife are gone?
No, it means I have a 9-year old step-son.
If only I were an adequate subsititute for Caleb. Unfortunately I'm only half as much of a bitch as he is.
When a star player goes down, it's up to the others to step up their game.
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If only I were an adequate subsititute for Caleb. Unfortunately I'm only half as much of a bitch as he is.
Well, nobodys perfect. I'm sure you'll do just fine while he's getting his shit sorted out.
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No, it means I have a 9-year old step-son.When a star player goes down, it's up to the others to step up their game.
I don't pay attention very well, but ....gallery.mr.burns.jpgexcellent
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12 User(s) are reading this topic (2 Guests and 1 Anonymous Users)9 Members: zimmer4141, Hobbes, Randy Reed, Ouch-8s, Bizzle, Timdog1010, Ron_Mexico, tyfgine, GovernatorCaleb? Caleb, oh you came back!!!!

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Well, nobodys perfect. I'm sure you'll do just fine while he's getting his shit sorted out.
Hopefully, and then once Jen has loosened up a bit I can start posting as turd ferguson again. Sounds like a plan.
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yeah, that's one of the best scenes in movie history if you ask me.I could basically type it out off of memory. Nearly
now, if that's a fact, tell me, am I lying? 'Cause you, you're part eggplant.
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Hopefully, and then once Jen has loosened up a bit I can start posting as turd ferguson again. Sounds like a plan.
Well I wasn't going to be quite that blunt about it, but ok.
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Kentucky has a No-Fault divorce. There are never trials or anything like that, it's strictly negotiated by attorneys and such, pretty formulaic. Seeing them on trial saying "He said, She said" is just pretty weird and needless. I do like the fact she called him gay though, good stuff.Lady Grey you should go to California, steal Caleb from his g/f and then dump him so that he can come back here and post, okay?

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Did we all know her name before just now?
Ok fuckers. Here are some pictures of me that I found on the computer. There aren't any funny ones because I'm only in pictures when I'm forced at gun point. Have your fun. God damnit.This is Turd's Gurl a.k.a. Jennifer and me at a New Years Eve party.
Yes.
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Did we all know her name before just now?
He has said it on here before, you guys obviously aren't very observant. He probably isn't happy that I'm spreading it around, but that doesn't bother me.
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5 bucks says Ouch quotes my post about Vancouver with some sarcastic comment.

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In honor of Turd, I think we should all call in sick to work tomorrow.
I'd just like to point out that I called in sick this morning. Couldn't pull it off for the whole day though. Booooooooooo.
and I'm sober.and I may be single soon.and Caleb's gone.I need some gay love...
This whole situation sucks. I think that Ron has again shown his wisdom (it blows my mind but still); if you can let her turn this incident into a positive without losing respect for her, then do so, but if her actions are going to cause you to lose your respect for her (and it sounds like they will) then you need to re-evaluate.
I definitely missed this conversation. I have nothing to add but support and an asshole if you need it Tim
Hahaha
Grimes: You've been to outer space? You?Homer: Sure, you've never been? (pause) Have you seen my Grammy?
A classic moment. There was another one where he listed off all the crazy accomplishments he's had, or is that the same moment?
So we had five new interns start on Monday. They just got done with their training and need some work to do. I sent an e-mail out to all of them saying I had three tax returns that need to be prepared, so any of them can come to my office if they want to do it. The cute girl was the one who came first. (Good lord, you don't even need to FMP on this.) Anyway, I think I'm going to use my position of power to suggest that we go out for drinks to discuss her performance on these first tax returns. What do you guys think? Good idea?
Hmmmmmm. No lemon juice.So it sounds like a great idea.
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Did we all know her name before just now?
you mean it wasn't TurdsGirl?Vincent Cacartia: Do you know who I am Mr. Worley?Mr. Worley: I give upVC: I'm the Antichrist. You tell the angels in heaven that you've never seen evil so singularly personified as you did in the face of the man that killed you. My name is Vincent Cacartia, I serve as counsel for Blue Lou Boyle. Mr. W. I heard of Blue Lou BoyleVC: I'm glad (that is a great line that I use all the time)VC: So that should clear up the How full of sh1t am I question?something like that, alsoVC: Your son and the b1tch-wh0re g/f of his, found out we gonna do some business, and...VC: You're son, FCKHEAD, that he is, left his drivers license (accidentally spits his gum out, but they kept rolling)
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